Charlock's Secret

by Leah Moyes

  Mulling over the last two days in my head, I wrestled with my impressions. Could I possibly be misinterpreting his signals? I sank to the edge of the bed. Am I wrong about what I saw . . . or felt? I rubbed my hands together. He held my hand every time we walked—to the river, the cave and back. I was sure at one point he might even kiss me, but Hennessey appeared. Could it all be in my head?

  Back on my feet, I paced from one side of the room to the other. The room warmed as my thoughts about Trenton increased. I headed to the lavvy and placed a cool cloth against my forehead and cheeks. Between the day I arrived, and today . . . everything had changed.

  I grabbed the bag and shuffled down the hall towards the front of the house. Acutely aware of my hesitation to leave, I scolded myself the scant distance to the door. Who wouldn’t be thrilled to sightsee and shop in London? Especially with no wedding nearby, no happy guests, and no bride and groom taking their first dance.

  I rounded a corner heading towards the entry hall, and nearly knocked over a man pushing a tray of wineglasses. They were carefully positioned in a pyramid. I apologized just in time to dodge a man carrying a ladder. The home was in full preparation. It was a strange site to see all the hands working diligently inside, versus outside, as usual. I glanced around, too many people, and nobody I recognized.

  “Kat!” Trenton’s voice sailed from the top of the stairs the moment my hand reached for the front handle. I circled slowly. He descended the steps two at a time. The white button-up shirt from his costume hung loosely above his jeans, and he was barefoot. The top couple buttons were undone. I cringed. Why can’t you be not so hot? I forced my sight to stay eye level as he approached.

  “I forgot to give you my keys.” He dangled a key chain from his finger.

  “Oh no, that's okay, I can ring a cab.”

  “Completely unnecessary. The car is right out front.” Trenton insisted.

  His hand reached for my shoulder. “Can you believe it, Kat? See what they’ve done with this place.” He whistled and moved closer . . . much closer. His cheek brushed mine as he whispered in my ear. “Is this what it looked like?”

  I paid little attention to the detail on my way out, but he was right. They had removed all the plastic off the furniture and flooring. The tapestries, windows, and frames were being delicately hand cleaned around us. The steady line of workers in and out of the ballroom drew me away from Trenton's side, and to the doorway of a past I was fortunate to have witnessed firsthand.

  I glanced over towards the long tables, delicately detailed with artistic foods, a small orchestra in full regalia set up near the windows, and the chandelier shone brighter than ever before in modern-day. My lips parted in awe. Trenton joined me and then leaned my direction once again. “Do you think Merritt, Lizzy, and Abby would be pleased?”

  My heart leaped. Partly from what my eyes beheld, but mostly from what I felt. “Absolutely. It's exquisite!” My eyes grew moist as I returned to the front door.

  Trenton grabbed my arm halfway through my escape. “Are you well?”

  “Everything is perfect.” I didn’t lie. “Thank you again for tonight. I really appreciate all you’ve done for me.” I meant it. His kindness reached above and beyond.

  “Kat,” Trenton placed his hand flat on his chest near his heart. “You have taught me so much recently, and for that I am truly grateful.”

  I nodded and exited the house quickly. Ugh. I groaned aloud. Is this for real? With the back of my hand, I wiped the tears that successfully trailed down my cheeks. My cries forcefully muzzled until the car door slammed shut, then the sobs came unfurled. All the pent-up emotion from my time travel experience, the return, and the confusion I suddenly felt about this man, surfaced like nothing before.

  Pinching my arm like I’d done many times in the last year, I needed confirmation of its reality. How can one person be so different in such a short time?

  Trenton's cologne loitered somewhere nearby. It must've been when he touched me . . . or lingered in the leather seats. The scent awakened me. My fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly as my watery emotion came to a stop. Sudden enlightenment overwhelmed me. He wasn't the only one who had changed. I changed too. My family noticed it. My parents even commented on it. Though I had not yet admitted it to myself . . . until now. It really wasn't about Trenton or even Merritt. It was about me.

  After reflecting a considerable amount of time in the driveway, I finally pulled away from the house and drove along the candlelit road. Mine was the only car on the left side opposite a steady stream of vehicles that led directly towards Charlock. I turned to an outside path; a dirt road hardly used but eventually leads to the main road all the same. As I neared the crossroads, a beautiful black horse and open carriage passed by. The driver tipped his top hat to my courtesy stop. It was pure white, lined with gold trim, and smothered in a sea of blooming flowers. As he passed, an elegantly printed sign on the back read Just Married. Gold and silver streamers sailed wildly behind. Memories of my own experiences in the Gilford carriages flooded my thoughts.

  Although no other vehicles occupied this road, I instantly felt crowded. With my foot firmly on the brake, I unbuttoned the top of my collared shirt in a desperate attempt for more air. When it wasn’t enough, I rolled the windows down, but eventually shifted the car into park and stepped outside.

  Only a tip of the sun’s amber glow lingered behind the hills. Vibrant streaks of crimson unleashed outward and upward in its wake, as if it discharged to what could be heaven. I leaned against the hood and watched until the last splash of light disappeared.

  I miss Jeff.

  I missed him so much my heart bore the scars of physical agony, but I was tired. Tired of hiding, tired of running, tired of always looking to escape—from fear, the unknown, even the future.

  Running away brought me to England, and now I stood before my own crossroad. I had a choice. I could keep running, and run away from Charlock, or I could face my future here, looking towards whatever lies ahead.

  I reached for the chain around my neck and kissed the ring. It’s time. I hopped back inside, put the gear in reverse and spun the car around.

  Chapter forty-six

  As I exited the vehicle back at Charlock, those familiar feelings of inadequacy and doubt resurfaced. What if Trenton really doesn’t want me here? What if he sent me away for a reason? Maybe Justine from his dinner party is here with her goddess-like features and figure.

  I stopped in my tracks and glanced back at the car window to study my reflection. Brushing my hair aside to expose my face, I scrutinized my appearance. Everything suggested familiarity, except one thing . . . my eyes. Though they were dark brown like they’ve always been, something mystical burrowed deep. That six months I spent in nineteenth-century England altered more than I imagined . . . strength beyond boundaries and love without limitation.

  Sprinting to the front door, I found myself behind a line of lavishly costumed guests and recognized how underdressed I was for the occasion. Jogging quickly around to the back door, I maneuvered through the kitchen with only one solution on my mind. Up the servant’s stairs and down the hall, I headed towards my old bedroom—the governess’ room. Upon entry, my only focus became the wardrobe. Opening the antique doors, I retrieved a single item . . . my ball gown.

  Having seen it before, I knew the dress was in a well-preserved condition. Laying it out, I dug through the drawers for the remaining parts I had fought so hard in the past to avoid. Everything was there. A corset, petticoat, stockings, suspenders, even a pair of heeled boots were found tucked in the bottom. The extraordinary find was nearly everything identical to what I left in 1878. I ran to the wall and tugged on the rope.

  The servants always knew the bellpull’s historical purpose, and though they’re rarely used now, the moment seemed appropriate. The bell chimed, and Gretchen came running. When she saw the gown spread across the bed and my pleading hands cupped for help, she smiled wider than I’d ever seen.
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  “. . . ’Bout time, Miss.” She squealed, threw her hands up in the air, and slammed the door for privacy. While Gretchen worked vigorously, I kept my eyes closed, afraid to see, terrified it was only in my imagination.

  “You’re a masterpiece, Miss.” She sweetly led me to the mirror and nudged me to look. When I opened my eyes, I struggled to breathe. Memories flowed from the last time I wore this gown. A night of excitement and apprehension . . . not unlike this very moment. Only tonight, I didn’t have Lizzy here to guide me or Merritt to comfort me, and I had especially not forgotten that this was a wedding. There would be a bride and groom, happily exchanging vows and promises, and dancing as one. Can I do this? Could I put all that aside for Trenton?

  With Gretchen’s encouragement, I stepped into the hallway. Somehow, I reached the top of the stairs. I pictured Abby huddled in the corner, holding her doll as she did the night of the original ball, her innocent face inspiring me to move forward.

  My hand gripped the wood railing as if I’d fall to my death without it. My eyes flashed downward. The entry hall burst with people. None I recognized, even if I’d been wishing. My cheeks paled, with each step down the long staircase. The room, once filled with excessive chatter, became eerily silent. Faces disappeared as the walls spun, and with each passing second my breathing elevated unnaturally. The rapid release of breath bordered hyperventilation. I stopped. My grip on the handrail tightened as my other hand pressed to my chest. Though my eyes centered on my feet, everything continued to move in dizzying circles.

  You can do this. Whispers swirled in my head. When I peered up, it was Merritt’s face I saw at the bottom of the stairs. His regal and refined stature invited me down with his hand extended. A charming Lizzy giggled with encouragement at his side. “Yes.” I smiled, straightening my stance. “I can do this.”

  Once my feet reached the bottom step safely, the sigh I expelled came with exaggerated assurance. I knew Merritt and Lizzy weren’t there physically, but I sensed their spirits willing their strength into me.

  “What a beautiful dress.” Admiration from strangers came quickly.

  “Thank you.” I nodded and meandered through the hall. I didn’t recognize anyone, but the comments continued everywhere I stepped.

  My first stop was the library. Although it was open to the guests, I found it vacant when I arrived. To be standing in this very room, in this gown, brought a wide smile to my face.

  I navigated each room cautiously. Both with eagerness and fear, hoping the scrambled words in my head would sound rational by the time we came face to face.

  In the ballroom corner, I found him.

  My eyes skimmed past the pockets of dancers and revelers and to the opposite end where they settled on an intoxicatingly handsome man. Trenton’s dark wavy hair parted slightly off-center and rested comfortably against his neck. The white shirt he sported earlier was now properly buttoned with a high collar and finished with a cravat tied in a loose bow. His waistcoat draped across the chair his hand rested on, while his black knee-high boots shone even from my distance.

  He appeared to be deep in discussion with a handful of guests and did not see me. Each step I took in my approach, felt heavier and heavier as I neared his party. It took only seconds for his friend's faces to wander from him to me. Their wide eyes signaled curiosity and captivation. Just the gust of confidence I sorely needed.

  When Trenton realized he no longer carried their interest, he pulled his gaze to where theirs had shifted. Only steps away, his eyes fell upon me.

  It seemed like an eternity before his expression registered his view, but as soon as it did, his generous smile calmed my tumultuous heart and soothed my rapid breath. His lips moved, but no words materialized. This was one of very few moments since we’d met, that I found him to be speechless. When he reached for my hands, his touch confirmed my decision.

  “May I have this dance?” I quickly asked before I lost the courage.

  The heat of his breath grazed my ear when he whispered, “I would be honored.”

  Escorting me to the dance floor, he slid both his hands about my waist. My hands glided up and behind his neck, where my elbows rested on his shoulders. With one slow turn, the gap between us narrowed. Our bodies so close, I was sure he could hear my heart pounding through my chest. The earlier scruff on his cheek transformed now to a smooth finish, and when his jaw brushed against mine, nothing but heat exchanged.

  Another turn and my eyes closed easily, allowing the music to appease my trepidation. His cologne, no longer a memory, pacified my other senses.

  There were hundreds of people in the room, many dancing, some conversing, even a bride and groom somewhere, but none of it mattered. The only thing that mattered now was the world we created on our own.

  The security I felt in Trenton’s arms did not stop my head from spinning. Questions lingered in the uncertain corners of my mind. I didn’t know what my future held with Trenton or anyone for that matter. I only knew on this unusual journey in this most magical place called Charlock, I learned more about love, and friendship than I ever imagined was possible.

  “Will you join me outside?” Trenton whispered.

  My nod was followed by his hand slipping into mine. Our winding stroll placed us on the veranda steps and in the light of a full moon.

  Silence lingered as he plucked a cluster of yellow Charlock from a stem. Gently brushing my hair aside, he placed the blossom tenderly over one ear. A heated trail ignited my skin as his fingers caressed along my jaw and to my chin. He gently raised it upward. When our eyes met, the intensity of his gaze held me captive, and this time, when he leaned in, his lips met mine with absolute acquiescence.

  Author’s Note

  Charlock’s Secret has a long history in my heart. A work in progress for over ten years. Started in 2010, the story hit a series of challenges that paralleled those of my main character Kat, and for that reason, it was sidelined multiple times. Thankfully, through the encouragement of family and friends, it emerged again.

  Visit www.leahmoyes.com for updates on current and upcoming novels.

  Return to Charlock

  Spring 2021