The Baby Doctor

by Bobby Hutchinson

  Then Dylan was waiting for her after school, and he’d said how sorry he was about the baby and that he’d been too bummed out to even come to her funeral. But, he’d reminded Tess, she’d been the one who’d started the fight in the first place. He hadn’t meant to hit her that night, but she knew about his temper. He was sorry, real sorry.

  Part of Tess knew he was just making excuses, but another crazy part wanted so much to believe him. She was mad at him for what happened about the baby; she hated him for that, but some other part of her still loved him. It was all a humongous mess in her head.

  She owed Dylan. He’d been her daddy out on the street. She’d tried to forget about him, tried hanging out with the artsy crowd who were building the set at the church, but she felt older than all of them, just like she did with the kids at school. She didn’t belong anywhere anymore. She liked Sophie fine, but she couldn’t spend every evening with her.

  So she’d gone out with Dylan again, to see if maybe she still belonged with him. That’s where she’d been tonight, but India was wrong. Tess hadn’t had sex with him, even though Dylan tried everything in the book to make her give in.

  She hadn’t told Morgan about seeing him. She hadn’t told Frannie, either; she pretty much knew how they’d react. But it was her life, right? She was the one who was lonely, really horribly lonely since India had come to stay. It didn’t feel the same in the house anymore, and that was India’s fault, right?

  Being here had seemed like a miracle at first, a dream she’d hardly dared believe was happening. She really loved Morgan, but things just weren’t working out. They’d started going bad when Kyla got born too soon, and then, when she’d finally started feeling a little better, India turned up.

  And now there was Doc Gilbert. What if Morgan decided to marry him or something? What would become of her?

  Tess buried her head in the pillow and cried until her nose was stuffy and her head ached, and then finally, too exhausted to cry anymore, she fell asleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Morgan sipped her coffee and glanced down at the stack of charts Rachel had just handed her, noting that her next patient that afternoon was Sophie Gilbert.

  It would be Sophie’s first visit, and Morgan felt a trifle apprehensive about it. Sophie had phoned and asked if Morgan would take her as a patient, and of course Morgan had said yes, she’d be delighted, to come in as soon as possible.

  Morgan mentioned Sophie’s call to Luke, suspecting that he might have a problem with her attending his daughter. He’d gotten a look on his face that suggested he wasn’t entirely happy about it, but all he’d said was that it was Sophie’s decision.

  Morgan stared down at the file now, frowning. It didn’t take a psychic to figure out that Luke would prefer Sophie to consult someone else, someone he wasn’t making love to. That was understandable, she supposed. What was starting to bother her was a nagging suspicion that he was also doing his best to discourage any real contact between his family and hers.

  Twice Morgan had suggested they take the girls out for a burger, and both times Luke had refused with some flimsy excuse. Morgan had invited Luke and Sophie over on Friday to watch a video and have pizza, and again he’d found a reason why they couldn’t come.

  Saturday afternoon, Sophie and Tessa made plans on their own to go shopping at the mall. Luke was working at the clinic in the morning, but in the afternoon he’d called and asked Morgan to meet him for a late lunch, and of course they’d ended up at the houseboat.

  Even the memory of their lovemaking caused an achy warmth in her abdomen. He brought out either the best or the worst in her, she hadn’t made up her mind which. She only knew that Saturday had been wild and crazy and delicious.

  He was a superb lover, generous and inventive. He’d spent time and care lavishly to bring her pleasure. And then, not wanting the enjoyment of being with him to end, she’d said, “I’ve got a great idea. Let’s pick up Chinese food and have dinner together at my house, all of us.”

  Luke had seemed to consider it, but then he shook his head. “I’ve got a patient I have to see at St. Joe’s and some lab work to run. Then there’s a woman coming this evening to apply for the housekeeper position, so Sophie needs to be home. Sorry, my love.”

  Morgan was disappointed, but it wasn't until later that evening, when she and Tess and India were eating the Chinese food she’d ordered anyway, that she really started thinking about it. Apart from that one impromptu dinner the night of India’s arrival, there’d been no contact between their families except the occasional meetings the girls arranged on their own, and Morgan had the distinct feeling Luke would have prevented those if he could.

  It bothered her. She’d started waking up in the night thinking about it, which was a sure sign she’d better bring it out in the open and just ask him what the heck was going on. It was one thing to have a lovely hideaway like the houseboat. It was quite another to turn their relationship into something clandestine and furtive. She’d talk it out with him the next time they were together, she decided.

  And right now, Sophie was waiting.

  Morgan made her way to the door of the consulting room and smiled warmly at the girl slumped in the plastic chair.

  “Hi, Sophie. Boy, it’s a miserable day out, there, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  Morgan tried again. “I can’t believe next month’s Christmas. I haven’t even started my shopping yet, have you?”

  “Nope.” It was obvious Sophie didn’t want to chat, so Morgan flipped open her file. “Now, let’s get these pesky questions answered and then I’ll have a look at you, okay?”

  Sophie nodded, biting her bottom lip. Morgan could see that the girl was nervous, and she figured it was probably about the physical examination. To put Sophie more at ease, Morgan carefully explained every single detail of the examination procedure, but it didn’t seem to help. Sophie just nodded and fiddled with the pendant she wore, her discomfort evident. At last she blurted out, “Can I ask you something, Morgan?”

  “Absolutely. Anything at all.”

  Sophie was all but wringing her hands, and Morgan hoped she’d be able to set the girl’s mind at rest. She met Sophie’s anxious gaze and smiled reassuringly. “What? Take a deep breath and spill it out.”

  Sophie was staring down at her lap, and she gave Morgan a quick look from under her bangs. “Are you having an affair with my dad? ’Cause Tessa says you are.”

  Morgan was taken completely off guard. The question was totally unexpected, and for a moment she couldn’t breathe, much less answer.

  She felt like a child caught out in mischief. She felt embarrassed and self-conscious and annoyed with herself. Over the past couple of weeks, she’d known she ought to talk to Tessa about Luke, explain that they were spending time together, but there hadn’t been an opportunity. Or so she’d pretended.

  India’s presence in the house complicated everything, no doubt about it. She was like a spoiled, selfish child, always demanding Morgan’s attention, making it hard to have private conversations with Tess.

  But when it came down to it, Morgan knew it was really her own shyness that had stopped her. It was one thing to discuss birth control and sex in general terms with Tessa. It was quite another to admit she was involved in an intimate way with Luke.

  Now Morgan understood too late that she ought to have made an opportunity rather than wait for one. She should have overcome her own inhibitions and been up front with her foster daughter. How could she have forgotten that Tess was bright, observant and very wise to the ways of the world?

  Well, Sophie had asked a forthright question, and in Morgan’s opinion, it demanded a forthright answer. She drew in a painful breath and tried to steady her voice.

  “Yes, Sophie, I am. I’m having an, um, relationship with your father. I—I care very much for him. We should have talked to both you and Tess about this. I can see now it was wrong of us not to.”

  “Hey, no problem.” Sophie’s
voice was brittle. “It’s your business, right? You’re both grown ups. It’s not like it was with me and Jason. I mean we’re just kids. When you’re grownup you can do whatever you want, right?” Sophie tried for nonchalance, but there was terrible anger and betrayal in her tone and her words. Her chin quivered. “So, are you guys in love or what?”

  Morgan’s heart ached for this girl. She reached over and tried to take Sophie’s hand in her own, but Sophie jerked it away. A renegade tear rolled down her cheek, and she scrubbed at it with the back of her hand.

  Morgan wondered in desperation how she could possibly explain the complexities of her relationship with Luke to a fifteen-year-old child, particularly when she didn’t begin to understand them herself. The only thing she could be was totally honest, she reminded herself again, no matter how difficult that was. And, man, was it tough.

  “I do love your father, Sophie.” It was the first time Morgan had admitted it to anyone except herself. She dreaded the question she sensed would be next: “So, does my father love you?”

  To Morgan’s immense relief, it didn’t come. Sophie said instead, “Are you gonna get married?”

  Morgan could see the undisguised fear on Sophie’s face, and her heart contracted with pity. Sophie had already lost so much. This must feel to her as if she were losing her father, too.

  “We’ve never discussed it, but no, I’d say we’re not”

  It was physically painful to admit that, even though she’d known it from the beginning. “The truth is, we haven’t made any sort of long range plans at all. This is a very new thing for both of us.”

  Sophie’s shoulders slumped with her visible relief. “You’re just sorta having sex, then, right?” There was more than a trace of contempt in her voice, and it hurt Morgan swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, struggling to keep her voice even.

  “That’s part of it but Luke and I are friends, too, Sophie. More than anything, I don’t want you or Tess hurt in any way by our actions, and I know your dad doesn’t either. I plan to talk to Tessa about this, and you need to talk it over with your father, tell him honestly and truly how you feel. I know how much he loves you, that he’ll respect your feelings and your needs.”

  “Yeah, right.” Sophie sounded both defiant and angry. “That’d be the day. I can’t talk to him about anything. I’m just a big disgrace as far as my dad’s concerned, getting pregnant and. everything.” Her voice trembled. “And this just proves how he thinks about stuff. It’s fine for him to be with you, be friends and--and even go to bed with you, but not say a word to me about it. He thinks I’m some little kid or something. Even after my mom died, he never really talked to me about it.”

  Tears were streaming down Sophie’s cheeks now, and Morgan silently handed her a fistful of tissues, appalled at the way the girl saw her relationship with Luke.

  “My dad isn’t like you, Morgan, y’know? Tessa says you don’t give her a hard time over stuff. Like when she’s with Dylan, right? Tessa sees him whenever she wants and you don’t get on her case about it, but my dad won’t even let me talk to Jason, and he’s...he’s my baby’s father."

  Sophie’s pain was spilling out, her words laden with blame and hurt. “Jason was my friend, I love him, but now he never phones me or sees me or anything, ’cause Daddy won’t let him.”

  Morgan doubted that. She knew enough about teenagers to know that if Jason wanted to be in touch, he’d find a way no matter how obstructive Luke chose to be.

  It sounded as if Jason had taken the easy way out of a difficult situation, but of course Morgan didn’t say that to Sophie. The girl was suffering, and without meaning to, Morgan had made things even more painful for her. She couldn’t see how to help except to validate how Sophie was feeling, encourage her to talk and then just listen.

  “It’s been really tough for you, Sophie. I understand that. First losing your mom, then moving and now being pregnant. Boy, that’s a lot to have happen to you when you’re fifteen.”

  Sophie sniffled and nodded, her face a study in misery. “I hate my life. I just want everything to be the way it was before my mom died. It isn’t fair.”

  “How was it before?” Luke never talked about his marriage.

  “We were a family. Mummy and Daddy and me. Like, we had this great house in Victoria, and my mom was always there when I came home from school. And Daddy took us for dinner on Sunday, and she baked cookies and stuff, and her and my dad really, really loved each other, and—”

  Morgan listened, and her heart felt as if it were breaking for this daughter of the man she loved. When Sophie ran out of steam, Morgan said in a soft tone, “Life isn’t always fair, Soph. I remember feeling a lot like you do when I was your age.” She explained briefly about India marrying one man after another and how lonely and scared that had made her feel, about moving constantly from one school to another as their circumstances changed.

  Sophie paid attention, and Morgan could see that sharing her own experiences had comforted the girl. When she was calmer, Morgan gently examined her, encouraging her to talk about her baby, answering any questions Sophie asked and bringing up the ones Morgan knew were difficult for the girl to verbalize.

  By the time the appointment was over and she was dressed again, Sophie obviously felt better. She shoved her hair back behind her ear and said in an embarrassed tone, “I’m sorry I said all that stuff about you and my dad.”

  “That’s okay.” Morgan felt as if she’d had surgery without an anesthetic, but she forced a reassuring smile. “Don’t be sorry, Soph. It’s always good to talk about the things that are bothering you.”

  “Yeah. I guess. Well, thanks, Morgan. See ya.” The office door shut behind her, and Morgan closed her eyes and flopped back in her chair.

  She had to talk to Tessa. If Sophie was this upset and angry and worried, it stood to reason Tessa would be, too. And something Sophie had said was niggling at Morgan.

  Tessa can see Dylan whenever she wants.

  Did that mean that Tess had started going out with him again? Because if she had, Morgan wasn’t aware of it, just as she’d been unaware that Tess knew all about herself and Luke. How many other things were going on in the girl’s life that Morgan didn’t know about?

  Even worse, when had they stopped confiding in each other?

  A feeling of panic gripped her, and she reached for the phone. She wanted to talk to Luke. She knew he’d be at St. Joe’s right now. He should be told how insecure Sophie was, and how unhappy, Morgan reasoned. She longed to discuss all the other things that were troubling her, as well, Tessa, Dylan, India. But before she’d finished dialing, Morgan broke the connection and slowly laid the phone down.

  Sophie was her patient, she reminded herself. What the girl had just confided was confidential. More than that, Luke was making it plain by his actions that he didn’t want involvement except on a sexual level. Maybe he didn’t want her telling him her problems.

  He’d said many times, in many ways, that he wanted her in his arms, in his bed. He hadn’t said a word about involving her in the rest of his life or becoming involved in hers.

  She’d have to find some way to help Sophie, though. And she needed to bridge the distance between herself and Tessa, fast. She also had to try to do something about the open antagonism between Tess and India.

  If only India would pack up and go back to Florida where she belonged.

  Feeling weary to the bone, Morgan got to her feet and made her way to the next examining room, where another patient had been waiting far too long for her attention.

  She’d never felt less like dealing with patients, listening to their problems, calming their fears.

  She’d never felt more like consulting an analyst about the mess her own life had suddenly become.

  “You were right about Morgan and my dad.”

  Tessa’s stomach felt suddenly sick. It was one thing to guess and another to know for certain. She watched Sophie plop a lump of butter into the bowl and ad
d sugar, attacking the cookie mixture as though it were a mortal enemy.

  It was Monday evening, and they’d decided to skip their meeting at the community center and come over to Sophie’s place instead. Sophie’s dad was out somewhere and wouldn’t be back until much later, and they both agreed that shortbread would make them feel better than listening to the other girls in the group moaning about their problems.

  “I had my appointment with Morgan this afternoon, so I just asked her. If, you know, they were doing it. And she said yeah.”

  “Well, no big surprise, right? Anybody could’ve guessed, the way they’re both acting. They must figure we’re blind or something.” Tessa wasn’t about to reveal how betrayed she felt by having Morgan admit something that intimate to Sophie and still not say a word to her.

  “Yeah, I guess.” Sophie added a cup of flour to the dough and Tessa smeared oil on a cookie sheet. “She says she loves my dad but they’re not getting married.”

  “Yeah, right. Grown ups never tell the truth about stuff like that. My last foster parents went on and on about how they’d never get divorced, and then they did.”

  Tessa wished Sophie would just drop the subject. She didn’t want to hear anymore about it. She didn’t want to think about what would happen to her if Morgan and Doc Gilbert decided to get married. She’d always had the feeling that even though he liked her, he didn’t really approve of her.

  It was different for Sophie, she was his real kid. He had to take care of her, no matter who he married. But Tessa knew all too well it was different when you were a foster kid.

  “Here, Soph, let me do that. It says here to work it like pie dough, not beat the stuffing out of it.” Tessa took the bowl from Sophie and began to knead the mixture with her fingers. “So, you gonna come over to the Hot Spot with me later? Dylan’s meeting me there for a burger, and Brody’ll be there. Dylan told me he thinks you’re hot.”