The Baby Doctor
Page 16
She’d begun by saying Sophie was unhappy. Well, that was nothing new. He knew all too well Sophie was unhappy, and having Morgan remind him felt like a knife twisting in his chest
Talk to her, Morgan had insisted, and he would, God, he would, if only he knew what to say to reach the girl. He’d tried and failed time after time these past weeks, and just when he thought he was making headway, everything fell apart again.
He’d made so many mistakes with Sophie, maybe there wasn’t any hope for the two of them. He remembered his own distant relationship with his mother and shuddered. He wanted so much more than that with his own daughter.
He’d tried to figure out where he’d gone wrong, and he understood some of it. When Sophie was little, he’d been focused on his career, aware that Deborah expected a certain lifestyle.
Her parents had money, and his didn’t anymore, and it was a sore point between them. He’d been determined to provide his wife with all the things she seemed to want, so he’d worked instead of taking time to get to know his daughter; consequently Deborah had been the one Sophie grew close to.
And then, after Deborah’s death, his sense of betrayal had been so great he’d again ignored the child, allowing his work to consume both his time and his energy, using it to dull the pain and anger, too self centered to see what he was doing to Sophie.
He scrubbed at his face with his palm, pretending the moisture there was rain.
He didn’t want to remember the other things Morgan had said, but he couldn’t avoid them.
She loved him. She’d shouted that she loved him, and he’d felt the words in his gut, like a punch he hadn’t been expecting.
He told himself he didn’t want her love, didn’t want the responsibility of it. He slammed his fist on the steering wheel and reminded himself that, after all, love was easy for Morgan. How many times had he heard her say she loved every baby she delivered? According to her, she loved the majority of her patients, more than a few nurses and her animal menagerie. She loved Tessa, sunny days, rainy days, bagels and chocolate cake. She loved snow, her house, rain, and she’d even said she loved one of the elderly maintenance men at St. Joe’s.
So it shouldn’t drive him totally mad to have her include him on her endless list, should it? It did, though, and he knew exactly why.
He loved her, too, and he felt as if he couldn’t survive losing her. He slumped down in the seat and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to love her. In fact, he’d tried not to.
Damn it, he’d really tried. She was an exasperating, infuriating, meddling woman. She didn’t fit any pattern he’d ever encountered, she didn’t play by polite rules, she was an unpredictable witch in bed and she was more honest than anyone had any right to be.
She was a narcotic he couldn’t give up, but she’d just given up on him.
A bitter smile tilted his mouth. She’d said it herself. Try as he would to contain her, Morgan spilled over, infiltrating every area of his life, shining her light into every hidden comer of his heart and soul.
He had to get her back. He had to figure out a way to mend himself and his life so it was suitable for Morgan to share. He had a hunch that meant admitting he’d been wrong, not just about Sophie, but about Adam Hendricks and Jason. It would be the hardest thing he’d ever done.
He started the car, wishing he was a drinking man.
Chapter Sixteen
Luke didn’t sleep much that night. He was up and dressed before six, and just before six-thirty he knocked on the Hendrickses’ back door. Adam was an early riser.
Luke had spent half the night trying to figure out what to say, but when Adam opened the door, all the speeches he’d prepared went straight out of his head.
“Morning, Luke,” Adam said in a neutral voice. “What can I do for you?”
Their last meeting had been ugly, and Luke knew he was to blame. He came right out with it. “I owe you an apology, Adam. I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted.”
“Come on in and have a cup of coffee,” Adam said, his craggy face solemn.
Luke sat at the cluttered table, and Adam poured two mugs full of coffee from an oversize pot and sat across from him, offering Luke the sugar bowl. “Sophie didn’t agree to an abortion?”
“No, or adoption, either. She’s determined to keep her baby and raise it herself.”
Adam nodded. “She’s a good, brave girl. That takes a lot of courage.”
Sophie was brave. Luke felt an unexpected surge of pride in his daughter. “I’ve fired Eileen, and we’re looking for a housekeeper who likes kids.”
“Smart move. Eileen always made me feel as if I had rabies or something.” Adam grinned, and Luke began to relax a little.
“When the baby comes, I’ll help her all I can, of course, but I’m better at delivering than diapering.” Luke shook his head. “I don’t feel ancient enough to be a grandfather.”
Adam smiled. “Me, either, but I’m sure we’ll get the hang of it.” He lifted his mug and took a drink. He was waiting, and Luke knew it. He took a deep breath and forced himself to add, “I’ve changed my mind about Jason, Adam. She needs him. I see that now.” It wasn’t easy to say; he still harbored dark thoughts about Jason.
Adam nodded emphatically. “Damned right she needs him. I’ve felt that all along. He’s the baby’s father, and I’ve wanted him to take responsibility, but you were the one who said no contact with Sophie.” There was still a trace of resentment in his tone, and Luke understood.
Adam loved Jason the same way he loved Sophie.
“Yes, I know. I’m truly sorry.”
Adam blew out a huge sigh. “This is one hell of a big relief to me, Luke. Peggy’ll be really happy about this.”
The words almost choked him, but Luke forced himself to say, “Tell Jason I’d be pleased if he’d get in touch with her as soon as possible.”
“I’ll do that. And it goes without saying that Peggy and I will be right there for the two of them and the baby. Those kids of ours need to finish their schooling, and they’re gonna need a lotta help from all of us.”
Luke finished his coffee and rose to his feet. “I should go.” He paused when he reached the door. “This has been a tough test of a friendship, Adam, but I’d like to think we can salvage something of ours.”
“So do I.” Adam held out a hand, and Luke shook it hard.
Back at the house, he’d barely walked in the door when the phone rang. Luke answered, and after a few very polite and stilted sentences, he climbed the stairs, opened the door to Sophie’s room and gently shook her awake.
Groggy, she sat up and rubbed her eyes, puzzled when Luke handed her the phone. His reward for one of the most difficult mornings of his life was the expression on her face when he said, “Jason’s on the line. He wants to talk to you.”
Oddly enough, for the first time in Morgan’s life, India actually noticed there was something wrong with her.
“You’ve lost your color, dear,” she said, scrutinizing Morgan closely. “Would you like to use some of my blush?”
It was Thursday evening, and Morgan was ready to leave for the concert, waiting in the downstairs hall for Tessa.
India had declared at dinner that she couldn’t bear watching amateurs on a stage making fools of themselves and that she wouldn’t be going.
“Is there some problem at work, Morgan?”
Morgan shook her head, too filled with anguish to even bother hiding it. “I’ve been seeing Luke, and we had a fight.”
“The course of true love never runs smooth,” India intoned in a mellifluous voice, glancing at the watch on her wrist. “Where is that girl? You’d think if you can get home early and be ready on time, she could at least make the effort. No consideration, these young people.” She made her way into the living room and lowered herself to the sofa with a sigh. “Come and sit down and tell me what the fight was about. Goodness knows I’ve had enough experience with men to be able to give good advice on how to handle them.”
All she could think of was Luke. She didn’t regret the things she’d said to him, but once the anger had gone, there was an awful emptiness inside her, a frightening sense of anguish and of loss.
“Let’s get a move on, Morgan. We’re gonna be late,” Tessa called from the bottom of the stairs. Her voice was sulky, and as Morgan followed the girl out the back door she realized that Tessa wasn’t in any better humor than she was. Maybe they should all just stay home and go to bed.
The little neighborhood church Morgan attended was filled with smiling faces, and the set Tessa had helped design was truly inspired. The actors did their best to bring their characters to life, and Morgan tried her best to capture the spirit of the occasion, but secretly it was a relief when the final curtain came down.
Morgan clapped and then turned to Tessa, forcing enthusiasm into her voice. “Your set was spectacular, Tess. You can be really proud of yourself. You did a fantastic job.”
‘‘Yeah, whatever,” Tessa said with a sneer. She gave a world-weary shrug and got to her feet, pulling on her jacket and not waiting for Morgan as she made her way into the crowd that surged down the aisle toward the exit.
Morgan felt her face flame, and for a split second, she felt like bursting into tears. Tessa had been outright rude all evening, and this was the final straw. She put on her own coat and made her way out of the church into the unrelenting rain, responding with a strained smile to the countless cheery greetings that came her way.
Tessa was waiting by the Jeep. Morgan unlocked the doors, got in and started the motor. Tessa sat with her arms folded across her chest, chewing gum and staring out the side window.
Morgan made an effort to control herself. “That wasn’t very nice, Tessa, walking away from me like that without a word. Why are you acting this way?”
Tessa shrugged and didn’t answer.
“I thought we agreed a long time ago that we’d talk over whatever was bothering us.”
“I’m gonna tell Frannie I need to live someplace else.” Tessa’s voice was hard and distant.
Morgan felt as if she’d been slapped across the face. This was preposterous! It couldn’t be happening! “Live someplace else?” She wheeled the Jeep to the curb and jerked to a stop. “You want to move out? I don’t believe you’re saying this. Tessa, what on earth is this all about? Talk to me, please.”
Tessa stared straight ahead and chewed her gum.
“Is it India? Oh, Tessa, I know you don’t get along with her, I don’t get along with her very well, either. But she’ll be leaving right after the New Year.”
“No, she won’t.” Tess turned burning, angry eyes on Morgan. “She told me today she’s staying. Forever. The rest of her life. She’s moved in with us. With you, only she didn’t bother to tell you. Today she was ordering me around, like she always does, and I said something about her going home. She said if anybody left, it would be me. You were her daughter, and she was gonna live with you the rest of her life.”
Morgan was speechless. She gaped at Tess, totally at a loss for words. “That...that can’t be right She’s just goading you,” she finally spluttered. “She has this big trailer in Florida....”
“No, she doesn’t. She sold it. That’s why she’s got so much stuff with her. She’s moved here, don’t you see? And if she’s gonna stay, I’m not. I know she’s your mother, but I can’t stand her, Morgan. Besides, nothin’s the same anymore. You’re never around, you--you don’t really care about me now.”
“Tess, that’s not true. I love you. Surely you know that”
“No, you don’t. You love Sophie’s father. You even told her about it but you never said a word to me.”
With a sinking heart Morgan realized how many things she’d overlooked during the past weeks. Tess had needed her and she’d been preoccupied. With Luke.
Quietly, she did her best to explain their relationship, just as she’d done earlier with Sophie. “It’s over now, it wasn’t working,” she finished, and the words brought such unbearable pain she could hardly stand it. “And I’m sorry for hurting you. I never meant that to happen.” Morgan’s fingers trembled as she reached to turn on the ignition. “As for the situation with India, I think we’d better go home right now and have a talk, all three of us.”
It took enormous effort, but when Morgan and Tessa finally left, India went into the bathroom and began the skin care regimen she’d performed all her life. She rubbed the rich cleansing cream slowly over her face, trying to ignore the fact that her facial bones were becoming more and more prominent as the disease worsened. She seemed to have lost quite a lot of weight over the past two weeks, although her belly had swollen.
Skippy lay on the bath mat watching her with his wise brown eyes. Wasn’t it strange how fond she’d become of this little deaf dog? Morgan and Tessa were out so much of the time, he’d become like a close friend.
“I’m tired tonight, Skippy. Arguing with that brat of a girl takes it out of me. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up those cursed stairs to go to bed.”
How fortunate the house had this roomy bathroom on the main floor. She’d worked out a system so she only had to go upstairs once a day, at bedtime, but it meant sending Tessa up for anything she’d forgotten. And the girl could be downright mean and really ornery about it, India thought with a touch of admiration. She’d do fine in the world, would Tessa.
And she'd soon be out of it, India thought sadly. If that doctor in Florida was right, this would be her last holiday season. In years past, she’d always gone to glittery parties all during December.
She shook her head at the caricature in the mirror. Tonight she hadn’t even been able to make it to a small church to watch some awful amateur acting. Being ill and old was disgusting. And she was going to have to tell Morgan about her heart. Tessa would surely spill the beans about the trailer, and then Morgan would know this was more than just a visit.
She damped down the fear that never quite went away these days. She and Morgan didn’t get on any better than they ever had, it was true, but blood was thicker than water. Morgan would take care of her, India assured herself. And fooling Morgan this long made her feel quite smug.
“Not even smart doctors know everything, Skippy.”
It somehow made the silly disease less real, less powerful, if India’s clever daughter could live with her and not detect it
Panting and trying to ignore the irregular hammering of her heart she used a tissue to remove the cream and then had to sit on the closed toilet seat for what seemed a long time before she could walk down the hall to the living room.
Skippy trotted along behind her, his nails making clicking noises on the wooden floor. India was wearing her warm velour dressing gown, and she looked at the stairs and then lowered herself to the sofa in front of the fire for just a few moments. She’d go up to bed a little later. For now, it was warm and cozy here. She’d rest before she climbed those dratted stairs. She lifted her feet up with difficulty and arranged the cushions behind her head so she could breathe easier. She closed her eyes.
Skippy lay down on the rug beside her, and she let her hand dangle down to stroke his fur. In a moment, she fell deeply asleep.
She awakened with a start, aware that Major had been barking outside and that Skippy was no longer beside her. India heard his toenails clicking as he ran up the stairs.
There was a loud noise up there and she jumped, heart pounding. She waited, thinking Morgan and Tessa were home, but then she heard Skippy yowling a high and frantic sound, as if he were in pain.
/> Concerned, India struggled to her feet, drew her dressing gown around her and then made her slow way along the hall to the bottom of the stairs. Skippy’s cries went on and on, seeming to come from her bedroom.
Laboriously, she began the long climb, her heart thundering in her chest. Clinging to the banister, she was almost at the landing when she saw the two male figures hurrying down the stairs toward her. One of them carried a bulging black plastic garbage bag.
“That damned dog bit me,” one of them was complaining in a loud voice. They saw her at the same moment she saw them, and they came to an abrupt stop. One of them let out a stream of curses.
“Thought nobody was gonna be home.”
With a birdlike squawk of terror, India turned and tried to run, knowing they were right behind her. She made it almost to the bottom of the stairs, but then her chest was on fire and her breath was gone, and in a show of bravado, she whirled around to face them.
They were directly behind her, and when she suddenly stopped, one of them collided with her—hard. She lost her balance and tumbled backward. She was aware for an instant of falling through space, and then lights exploded in her skull just before the world went dark.
Morgan was as familiar with St. Joe’s Emerg as she was with her own living room. She’d done her rotation down here during her internship, her friend Alex had worked here for years and Morgan herself often treated patients here, but tonight she was seeing it from a different perspective.
A few moments before, the ambulance carrying India had screamed into one of the bays, and Morgan had turned her unconscious mother over to the efficient Emerg staff.
Ambulance attendants rattled off neuro vitals, blood pressure, heart rate, respiration, while Morgan did her best to answer the questions fired at her, aware that what she could tell them was of little help. They transferred India from the ambulance stretcher as Morgan talked, aware that her voice was shaking.
“She was home alone and someone broke into the house. She either fell or was pushed down the stairs. No, she hasn’t regained consciousness. No, I don’t know how long she was unconscious, but we found her exactly twenty-three minutes ago. The only injury I could detect was that laceration on the back of her head. She’s sixty-four, no allergies that I know of. No, there won’t be any medical data on file, because she’s visiting from Florida.”