Confessions of a Secret Dominatrix

by Mistress Marilyn

  © Mistress Marilyn and Diana L. Hardin 2013

  Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this book’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Mistress Marilyn and Diana L. Hardin with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. For permissions requests, please email the author at Marilyn@mistressmarilynisreal.com

  Acknowledgments

  No one walks alone on the journey of life. Just where do you start, to thank those that joined you, walked beside you, and helped you along the way, continuously urging me to write a book. Over the years, those that I have met and worked with have insight, and to share my insights together with the secrets to my continual, positive approach to life and all that life throws at us. So at last, here it is. Perhaps this book and its pages will be seen as "thanks" to the tens of thousands of you, who have helped make my life what is today. Thanks to my cousin Kelley! If it wasn’t for you, there would be no book. You helped keep me focused and on track. Thank you mom, for being so wonderful, and supportive. I love you! Dad, I love you and I want to thank you for everything you have ever done for me. I really hope and plan to make your life easier, please let me help you. Thank you, to all of my family and friends for supporting me and understanding my time has been limited, as I have worked on my book. Trixi, thank you for teaching me, protecting me, and loving me just for me and vice versa. Thank you to my cousin Heidi, who let me stay with her for a little bit while I wrote the book. A special thanks to my sweet, open minded, and very loving spiritual aunt- you know who you are- thanks for contributing and always supporting the book. Thanks to my Aunt Pam, Uncle Joe and Karly, for letting me post up for a few months, during my transition, while I finished my book. Much of what I have learned over the years, came as the result of being a mother of two amazing and fun twin boys, both, in their own ways inspired me. Thanks kids!

  Last but far from least, I want to thank my editor, Diana L. Hardin, who has done more than any editor does, you are amazing! I would have never found you, if not for kindred souls and stumbling in the dark.

  Finally to God who made all the things possible...

  www.MistressMarilynisreal.com Twitter@MistressMarily1 www.facebook.com/JoMarilyn

  Foreword

  As the editor of this lovely book, I just wanted to take the time to write a few words in regards to what you are about to read. The writer of this book, stumbled upon me, as I am a writer myself, and we have found that we were a perfect fit to collaborate with. I still say, it was fate!

  This book digs deep into the very fibers of her soul, her early life, back round, the sometimes twisted souls of men and how she became the domineering Mistress Marilyn. So, as she takes you into the journey of what men from all walks of life sometime seek, what women might desire and how she became the person she is today, please don't be afraid of the raw, sexual emotion portrayed between the lines. You might even recognize yourself within the pages of this book.

  Here are just a few acknowledgments, on my part. Thank you, Dad for always being so encouraging, loving and always believing in me! I love you! To my best friend, Uncle Brian, I fucking adore you and love you more that I could ever promise. So here, it finally is. To Mistress Marilyn, I am in awe of you. Thank you for giving me a chance and allowing me to share this exciting experience with you. I am eternally grateful.

  Hope you enjoy your journey!

  Diana L. Hardin

  www.unleashsophiadesade.com www.facebook.com/sophiadesade.9

  CONFESSIONS OF A SECRET DOMINATRIX

  Table of Contents

  Acknowledgments

  Foreword

  Introduction

  Chapter 1 Born

  Chapter 2 Moved to Indiana.

  Chapter 3 Meeting Henry

  Chapter 4 Twins Born

  Chapter 5 Moved to Tennessee

  Chapter 6 And then there was John

  Chapter 7 The Ad was Put Up

  Chapter 8 Payton

  Chapter 9 With a Lady

  Chapter 10 Chronic Boy

  Chapter 11 Duct Tape Boy

  Chapter 12 John Leaving

  Chapter 13 Toilet Boy

  Chapter 14 Tree Trimmer

  Chapter 15 Ending

  Introduction

  Your arrival is no accident. My name is Mistress Marilyn and I am a Dominatrix. It has been a well-kept secret up until now. Here is an invitation into my world, to experience the adventures in this erotic and exciting lifestyle. B.D.S.M which stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism is full of fascinating characters and unexpected connections. There is a lot of hard work and responsibilities that comes along with this job. As a Dominatrix I am here to punish you only. Please understand, no sexual acts were provided during my play time. My slaves are not worthy enough. I enjoy inflicting punishment among others in a consensual setting. I am always sober during my sessions, to ensure the safety and sanity of myself and my clients. There are other Dommes that do the opposite, in providing sexual acts during play and have different rules. One thing I know for sure, is men of power and in a professional setting usually have a lot on their plate, and are the ones that want to relinquish control, need punishment and to a certain point, crave it. There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. For some, the threshold of pleasure is mixed with their tolerance of pain. People frown upon what I do and don’t understand the reasons why my slaves desire this. Before you start to judge me, you need to know what, why, and certain life altering circumstances that have happened to me, to make me become a Dominatrix. Believe it or not, I am a kind, positive, and a loving person that would do anything I could to help someone in need. I was raised as a Christian and also was involved in church activities up until I was an adult. My childhood was wonderful and I wouldn’t want to change anything about it, because it made me who I am today.As an only child, I did some unexpected and interesting things, to entertain myself and my friends. I have always worked to the best of my ability in school. Due to my driven nature, I have accomplished more than most people my age because I have always been ambitious. As I grew older, the darker side of life reared its ugly head. Overall, I know who I am inside. I am a loving, strong, hard headed, kind individual. Just because I chose to become a Dominatrix, doesn't make me a cold hearted bitch.

  Chapter 1

  Born

  My Mom Lisa and Dad Jake happily spread the news a baby was coming. Preparations for my arrival were feverishly made from day one, by getting a doctor, setting dates and planning the nursery. Mom went into hard and long labor, after what seemed like an eternity, I was born at on a cold day in February. She named her beautiful little girl, Tara. I weighed six pounds twelve ounces and I was 19 inches long. My father was desperately hoping for a boy, but was still overjoyed at my arrival. I had blue eyes and my hair was dark brown. My mom was ever happy and relieved that I was a happy healthy beautiful girl. My mom said that my dad was floating on a cloud nine, always gushing when he talked about his beautiful little girl. He gave away three boxes of cigars and a million smiles. My half-sister, my Dad's daughter with his first wife, put a note in the newspaper and it read,

  “I found a new little sister, I love you!” Mom even kept a baby book. It is very special to me, to know that she spent her time investing in my baby book. The baby book has lots of different events, dates, and accomplishments. Milestones in early childhood were, raising my head at two weeks old, smiling at three weeks old and discovering my squeaky voice at three months. Mom and dad's faces were familiar as they chased me everywhere when I started crawling at six months old. During Christ
mas, I surprised them all, by taking my first steps. “Dada” was one of my first and favorite words. As any child, car rides and listening to music was a fun past time. My baptism took place in the same church my family attended since the early 1900's. I was a fourth generation member at the United Church of Christ. My parents’ marriage wasn't an easy one with the biggest issue being drugs. Frankly said, Dad was a drug addict. As the years went by, dad partied nights away with his drugs of choice being alcohol and cocaine. He became physically and verbally abusive to mom, as most drug addicts do, which unfortunately for everyone involved, lead to a divorce. I was too young to remember all the details since I was very young when my parents parted ways. Soon after the divorce from my dad, my mom had met a guy named Mark. Nice guy, they decided to get married when I was three. After they got married we picked up and moved to Columbus, Indiana for a job opportunity that was waiting for Mark. He wanted to better his and our new family's future. We were so poor that our couch consisted of a bench seat from a car sitting on cinder blocks. A sheet covered the seat, to make it look nicer. One night my parents had a few friends over to play cards. They were drinking whiskey and I begged my dad Mark for a drink. He gave me a sip of it. It tasted so nasty, I wanted to spit it out. I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth for hours! I never drank whiskey again. The smell of it, to this day makes me sick to my stomach. One day Mark thought it would be funny and put me in a bucket and lay me on top of the refrigerator to scare my mom. My mother walked in the door and was scared out of her skin. Then she got mad about why he would put me in danger like that and pull such a stupid joke. I can understand now, why my mom got mad. When I was very young, tragedy struck my family. My half-sister died while driving a moped with a friend. It was a freak accident. She was driving the moped and she had a friend on the back, they ran straight off the road crashed and she was throw several feet and sadly my sister died. Since I was very young when it happened, I vaguely remember the details of it. We had lived in Columbus for a couple of years now and he had made it through the program. Mark, who I call Dad and treats me like is own now- graduated and got his certificate. Through hard work, my mom and my dad received much better job opportunities down in Georgia. Again, we packed up the meager belongings that we had and moved. My mom was a nurse and my dad was in the car mechanics business. We rented a house with a cool spiral staircase I loved tying my jump rope to the stairs and I would swing on it through the air and make Tarzan noises- remember I was an only child so I would entertain myself. My mother made it very clear to me how important it was, to make good grades and do my best. I went to kindergarten at the local elementary school. I worked hard, from my first day of school until summer was here. That’s where I met my best friend Mia. We became best friends my first grade year. There was another move to a bigger and better house. To me, this was a dream and I didn’t want to wake up! It had a huge backyard, an in ground swimming pool, it even had a diving board! I felt like the luckiest girl. One of the first things I did after we moved in, was go door to door asking all the neighbors if they had any kids I could play with, because Mia wasn’t home. I was not shy at all if you can’t already tell. I always had fun jumping on my trampoline in the backyard. One day I put the trampoline by the pool and would jump on it and land into the pool. I was on cloud nine. My mother allowed me to invite a friend to our annual summer party, so of course, Mia was the friend I invited. My parents would throw one big blow out party every year that lasted several days and of course there was lots of booze, music, swimming, camping, volley ball, horse shoes, and dancing was involved. That is when I realized that my dad was a functioning alcoholic. He would drink from the time he got off from work, until he went to bed. He was a workaholic also who would never drink during work hours. Trying to make sure I had a normal life, my mom made sure I was in extracurricular activities. Dance class, cheer leading, gymnastics. You name it, I was in it. She was always very supportive and very involved in my activities, so I did my best to make her proud. Mom would help me with my moves, including the back hand spring. She was a very free spirited mother, always up for an adventure. Our free time consisted of visiting Rock Mountain and different amusement parks with family and friends. We had a lot of fun together when I was a child. As the great mother she was, she always made sure of it. After school I would sometimes walk home alone. Occasionally, I would go to Mia's house and we would hang out. We liked to roller skate, go to the creek, and do everything best friends do together. One day, I was at my house and decided to go exploring and found this beautiful creek that reminded me of a beach. After my arrival home, I had to call Mia and tell her to come over so I can show her. I planned a picnic for us and we went to our version of the beach, our new special spot. It was like our clubhouse, but even cooler! The water was crystal clear and there was sand so we could lay in the sun. It was very secluded, because you had to walk through the woods to get to the beach. Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and summer ended. And a dreadfully cold winter came. It snowed a lot one day which hardly happened in Georgia. That year we had so much snow, we could actually play in it. Drumming up all the neighborhood kids, we had a contest on who could build the biggest snowman everyone worked hard on their snowmen. Hours passed, with us building until our hands and faces were numb. Mom called us inside, with the smell of hot chocolate in the air. Staying inside long enough to down some hot chocolate and warm up, we barged back outside to find the boys kicked our snowman down! Our snowman was over six feet tall! So, I went down the street a few blocks to retaliate, with my friends following close behind. And in one swift kick, I kicked the damn snowman down, with my friends cheering me on. It felt great to finally stand up for myself. After the snow melted, spring was finally around the corner. I couldn’t wait for my cousin Kelley to come to visit for a week. See, Kelley and I were very close, which has continued into our adult life. Upon her arrival, my parents took us to a biker party. We were all going to camp out and play games that we have never played before. There were games to play for the adults too. There was one game, were the kids had to dive into a pile of hay to find the money that was stashed in it. We had a lot of fun finding quarters and even a few dollar bills. The adult games were a little racier. My aunt Pam got so excited winning the potato in the haystack game; she actually showed her tits off! Of course, the guys all cheered. Pam still has her potato trophy to this day. They also had little merchant stands, were you could buy clothes and jewelry. Kelley and I bought some earrings at one of the stands. We had such a great time at that party. I learned that night, that bikers sure know how to party. I don't recall one fight there, even though there were a lot of rowdy people that were drinking. Some bikers looked scary, but I found out, they were like big teddy bears. I learned early on; don't judge a book by its cover. If you give respect, you shall receive respect. The motto “Love not War” is still a personal one of mine, till this day. Unfortunately, Kelley’s time was up with us and she had to go to visit her dad, It was always hard for us to part ways. She was the sister I never had, growing up. But I knew I would see her again during the holidays. As fall turned into winter, I learned that my biological dad passed away of a heart attack. My heart hurt, but I also felt a little detached. My father wasn't the one who raised me. We had a strained relationship from the start. See, he lived in Southern, Indiana and our contact was always kept to a minimum. I have always been the type of person to see the glass half full, instead of empty. As far as I was concerned, my family and heart was in Georgia.

  The time for our family vacation was finally here! My grandparents, cousins, and my aunt all piled up in a van and drove down to Florida. Our vacation house looked like a two story tree house. The children amusement park was more than what I had expected. It was amazing. Roller coasters were my absolute favorite. The rush I felt being on one was awesome! Long lines for the roller coaster didn't deter me from getting on it again and again. There was a parade with all characters of the amusement park and each float had a differen
t theme. We saw mice, princesses, princes and even a cow! They all were happily dancing and waving to everybody, with music in the background. We all went back to our tree house for the evening. Later on that night my cousin needed to go to the bathroom, he had quite an explosion. He was in there for quite a while. Aunt Claire started smelling this awful odor and we all knew where it was coming from. When my cousin got out of the bathroom, we discovered he had clogged the toilet! My aunt was brave enough to grab a wooden spoon and scooped out some of that stinky, heavy poop out of the toilet to help make it flush. She was our hero that day! Now we all could use the toilet! If it wasn’t for her, there would’ve been five kids and four adults in dire need of a bathroom! Everybody was laughing at the situation, but I know my cousin was embarrassed at the time.

  A few years later, my family and I took a trip out west to see the Grand Canyon. I could have never visualized a more beautiful sight. That is where I saw a scorpion for the first time. Thinking back on it now, it seems he was more scared of me then I was of him. We noticed a gentleman with a table set up, selling jewelry. He was Indian and very sweet. My dad bought a silver and pink beaded necklace, for me and my sister. I cherished my necklace and I have still to this day. I am a very sentimental person who cares about life experiences way more than materialistic items.

  Chapter 2

  Moved to Indiana

  Life changed again because my mom and dad split up. I ended up going to see a therapist while I was in sixth grade because we moved from Georgia and my mother and fathers divorce took a toll on me. I missed all my friends and the atmosphere- the south is nicer all around. I saw a therapist for about a year and she put me on an anti-depressant pill that I was on for a year. My first day of middle school was in Southern Indiana. Nervousness and excitement were the words of the day. I couldn’t wait to meet new people and make new friends. The school building itself was old and two stories high. It kind of made it hard finding my class rooms at first, since both floors were identical to each other. I made lots of friends that day, but it wasn't hard to notice that the people up north were much different than the people down south. My cousin Hellen, helped me in my transition majorly, she went to the same school and was in the same grade. She was very popular, so I just fit right in. It was a good feeling to know that I didn’t have a hard time making new friends. The environment was very different for me. We had to live with my grandparents for a little while, until we got on our feet and my mom bought a nice little house. Moving from the south to the north was very difficult for me because as the saying goes, “The further north you go the colder the people are.” I have found this to be very true. It was hard leaving the only life I knew; cheer leading, all of my friends, family, and my boyfriend who I never even kissed. I missed my life in Georgia. Thinking it would help, I joined the choir at school. Singing soprano was my niche and one of the favorite songs we sang were "These Boots Are Made for Walkin" by Nancy Sinatra. That song still puts a smile on my face, every time I hear it. Missing Mia terribly, we planned a trip to see her dad in Sacramento, California. This was my first time on a plane ride and I was a little nervous, but very excited as well. We wanted to go to the famous amusement park in California. All the rides were great, but most of all it was wonderful to spend some quality time with my best friend. We had a lot fun that day. I was so happy to be visiting with her, two peas in a pod. The next day, Mia’s dad had to go to work and told us not to leave the house. That was a big mistake in telling two teen girls to stay home. I told Mia, we should take the bus to the mall and time it where we will be home before he returned. True to my word, we did some window shopping, talked to a few cute guys and took the bus back home, before Dad returned from work. Before I knew it I was in high school, time fly’s when you’re having fun.