No Quarter

by Anita Cox

Nala stepped in then allowed her to lead. The pack’s medical building was no bigger than a good sized doctor’s office with two birthing suites, a triage room and one surgical area, which was rarely used. When she entered the birthing suite she found two weepy parents cooing over their new bundle of joy. “Congratulations. He’s a fine young specimen.”

  Reaching into the blanket to find the infant’s foot she stared at the little toes that peeked out. They were tiny, no bigger than pencil erasers. She fought the urge to smooch on the top of the chubby little foot. With the softest of pressure she pushed the scanner against the tiny little foot and then tucked it back into the blanket.

  The parents thanked her. She stood for a moment as she absorbed the love in the room. The mother, tired from childbirth didn’t let that slow down her affection toward her new little package. The father beamed at them both with alligator tears threatening to spill over his cheeks. The squeezing sensation in her chest made it harder to breathe.

  She tried to imagine herself in that moment, staring down at her own pup with the same loving adoration. It seemed like a far off fairy tale she may never experience. Hell, she couldn’t even bring herself to mate with her own husband.

  Michelle, a fellow Scottsboro pack member had fed her milk thistle for so long, trying to delay her heats so Jagger would not force a mating on her, that she’d gone three years without one. Even in those three years, she hadn’t forgotten how intense the desire was. But she was feeling that familiar edge that comes before a heat and knew it was approaching.

  She was desperate for that burning physical desire to breed to be far from her first time making love with her mate. She wanted the romance, more than she was willing to admit, but had kept Colin at arm’s length.

  Backing out of the room, she quickly made her way out of the building and on the path toward the main house. Without haste, she made her way through the house, so as not to interact with anyone, fearful that her emotions would get the best of her. After plugging the scanner into her computer, she grabbed her bag and headed out to the parking lot to meet with Colin.

  As her feet crunched against the gravel parking area, she tried to force her shoulders to relax. Colin was leaning against a Honda Civic, staring off into the woods. His gaze changed, moving to the direction of her approach. He pushed his weight off the car and opened the passenger door.

  “Ready for our date?” His eyes turned to slits as he smiled.

  “Thank you, Colin.” He was always a gentleman, a quality she had a difficult time becoming accustomed to. She took a deep breath after he closed her door. Relax. Stay calm. You’re already married.

  He climbed in and started the car. “Are you ready for lunch?”

  She shrugged. “Not yet, really. But I am ready to get out of here for a while.”

  Driving the car down the winding drive he didn’t say much until they had hit the main road. “You know, we can hit a few shops before we grab lunch. There’s a really decent Bistro in town.”

  “That sounds great. As far as the clothes shopping goes, I don’t need anything fancy, just some day to day items.” She cleared her throat. “You know, jeans, shorts, shirts…things like that. I don’t really know the stores around here.”

  Glancing quickly toward her, then away, he bobbed his head. “You strike me as someone who would appreciate Kohl’s or something along those lines.”

  She felt her left brow shoot toward her hairline. “What does that mean, exactly?”

  “It means you don’t want to look too fancy. You dress so you can defend yourself at all times. Shoes, boots, jeans…those are your staple items. I don’t think we need a Macy’s for that.” His right eyebrow lifted toward his hairline. “Though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t eager to see you dressed up for a party.”

  She laughed and wagged her finger at him. “You have. We’ve been together for two weddings, one of them our own.”

  Shrugging, he gave a soft chuckle. “Like I said, I’m eager to see you dressed up for a party. You look ravishing in a dress.”

  His compliment caused heat to graze her cheeks. He found her ravishing…that was a great sign.

  The couple made small talk about parties until they reached the store. After locking the car, he reached in his pocket and answered his cell phone. Whatever had been said had caused him to stop walking.

  “Is everything okay?”

  She watched as his smile faded and his brows creased together.

  “But you want to talk in person? What’s happened?” He was rubbing his forehead, something he often did when stressed. “Wendy, I’m your brother, that’s why. I don’t understand why you have to see me in person if it’s not…” He stopped speaking, took a deep breath, and let it out. He pulled the phone away from his face. “Would you like to accompany me to the school to have dinner with my sister tonight?”

  She gave him an affirmative nod. Whatever was going on with his sister had him stressed. She could feel it rolling off of him. So she would most certainly go with him to have a meal and get to the bottom of things. Besides, there was very little going on in Belfast.

  “See you at six.” He shoved the phone back in his pocket. “I’m very sorry about the interruption.”

  They began walking toward the store once again. “Something up with your sister?”

  “Yes, and of course she’s being cryptic and won’t tell me anything over the phone but still expects me not to worry. How am I not supposed to worry? It isn’t like she calls me regularly.” Shaking his head, he opened the door for her.

  “Well, Colin, it’s our job as women to drive you barking mad.” She forced a smile and entered the store.

  He hadn’t misled her. She discovered he actually had very good taste in women’s clothing, even casual wear. When a pair of pants didn’t fit her well, he never made mention of them being unflattering or making her rear look too big. Instead, he would offer something such as, ‘those aren’t good enough for you,’ or, ‘try these on.’ Everything else earned compliments. It had been quite the ego boost. After an hour of picking out jeans that complimented her shape while affording her full range of motion, flattering shorts and tops, they were paying for her purchase.

  When they arrived at the bistro, Nala addressed the hostess right away. “Can we sit off to the side,” she paused, “for a little privacy?” If she were going to have a serious discussion with her mate, she didn’t want the world to be privy to it.

  “Certainly. Right this way.” She slid her fingers under two menus and scooped them up, then led them to the far side of the restaurant, took their drink orders, and scurried away.

  As soon as she was out of ear shot, Colin leaned in on his elbows. “Tired of having everyone hear and see everything we do and say?”

  His baby blue button down shirt complimented his blue eyes and tanned skin. The brilliant white teeth glistened at her. “Yes, well, if we’re ever going to get privacy outside of the bedroom, this might be the only way.”

  “I have to say,” he said while shaking out his napkin, “I don’t mind whisking you away.”

  The waitress returned with their beverages and took their food orders.

  “Okay, now that we’re alone…” she took a deep breath, “there’s something rather…uncomfortable we need to discuss.” She tried to find the courage, the right words, so that it didn’t sound like a business arrangement. After years living under Jagger’s regime, she’d grown quite adapt to not displaying fear and panic. She used every skill she had to remain still and calm while her insides felt like they were melting.

  “Well this sounds interesting. Continue.” His smile appeared to be forced, possibly for her benefit. He took a slow sip of his tea while playfully wagging his brows. She didn’t mind. The fact that he tried to keep it light actually made her feel a bit better.

  “We have both been taking things…very slow—out of respect for each other mostly. We were both trying to heal from very different but equally horrifying ordeals.” Smooth
ing her hands on her pants she forced herself to look up at him.

  The smile was gone and a serious look now took residence on his face. He was nearly expressionless with his mouth open slightly and his eyes open and focused. Did she scare him already?

  “Go on,” he croaked.

  Plotting Jagger’s demise was a cakewalk next to attempting to discuss her love life with her husband. She took a deep breath and let it out, then sipped at her soda, buying her time to find the courage. She closed her eyes tight and finally, as she opened her eyes, released the words. “My heat is coming and very soon.”

  “I see.” His hands slid off the table and disappeared below the surface.

  Punching him in the throat wouldn’t help him say any more than ‘I see’ but the thought had crossed her mind. Say something!

  “We’ve yet to get to that, uh, aspect. But I’d rather it not be during a heat. That’s not how I want to—”

  He held his hand up, interrupting her. “I know this is uncomfortable, and not to make it worse, but I want to remind you that I’ve been mated before. I am familiar with what you’re about to go through and how difficult it can be. Anything I can do to help. I mean,” His face turned as red as a cherry tomato, “I mean, if you want me out of the room until you’ve recovered or something… or privacy…or, oh man, anything. I’m sorry. I, uh, I mean, uh.”

  She lifted her head.

  He looked down—a sign of submission by a Lycan.

  She felt her eyes widen in surprise.

  “Colin, look at me, please.” When his eyes met hers, she smiled. “What I’m saying is I would like us to get there before it happens. I mean to say I’m ready to try to move forward, but I don’t have the slightest idea where you are with this because…well because we don’t really talk much, not about anything personal.” As embarrassed as she was to discuss the matter, and as nervous as she had been, relief washed over her now that the words had finally come out. “The problem is we haven’t had much time to act like an actual couple because we’ve been so focused on giving each other space. And now, with my heat coming, we don’t have much time to get there beforehand. I’m tired of things just happening to me. Life has just happened to me. Life stopped happening when I defeated Jagger. I’d like to continue taking control, but this isn’t just me, here. This involves you too.”

  She noticed his eyes shift, looking behind her. The waitress was coming and the discussion took a brief halt while their lunch was delivered. Even though the food was in front of them, neither took a bite.

  His gazed fixed on hers as she waited for him to speak.

  “Dinner tonight with my sister would be a nice start. And when we retire for the evening, we can do things a little differently. We can start turning in a little earlier, so we can talk privately in our room. We can stop avoiding each other quite so much. But there is one sure fire way for us to feel what we both so desperately want to feel.”

  She gulped, knowing exactly to what he referred. “I’m not sure bonding is a great idea.”

  His shoulders slumped. “Why not?”

  Scooting her plate to the side, she placed her elbows on the table and folded her hands, leaning forward, nearly whispering. “Has it occurred to you it is only a matter of time before someone challenges me for my position?”

  The realization of her situation had to have hit him, because his mouth fell open. “It’ll be no quarter.”

  She gave one short but firm bob of her chin. “And you’ll suffer that loss all over again. You’ll lose your second bonded mate. I can’t do that to you, Colin. We may not yet be in love, but I respect you too much to hurt you that way.”

  The silence between them lingered as he stared at her. He broke his gaze and picked up his sandwich. “Don’t you think that’s my risk to take?”

  It hadn’t occurred to her decision would take away his choice. “I hadn’t considered it. But in all fairness we haven’t really had any discussions about us at all. As a matter of fact, we’ve hardly had any discussions about anything.” She folded her hands and let them rest in her lap. If there wasn’t already anxiety over simply having the discussion, her impending heat and the strange nature of their union, she now was filled with anxiety, concerned she’d insulted him. Worse yet, she’d been famished when they reached the restaurant and now her stomach was in such knots her sandwich was less than appealing.

  “I have to admit, it is a concern.” He finally spoke. “I’m not sure I could survive it a second time. It is just one thing to consider. We were thrown together with so much baggage it might take a life time to sift through it all. It’s one way we can be certain to break through these barriers, to be sure we’re not pushing the other too quickly.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “Either way, let’s table it for now. You need to eat.”

  She looked down at the slice of wheat bread resting on the top of her sandwich. It looked less appealing than it had when it arrived. Still, she forced herself to take a bite. The rest of lunch was rather quiet and uncomfortable. She managed to choke down half her meal before she gave up.

  As he drove them back to the Belfast pack’s territory, she gazed out the window. Every single decision she made now had a consequence. As Alpha of a pack, they were all subject to the consequences of her decisions. On a personal level, if she did bond with Colin to break through the barriers they’d both built, and was then killed in a fight to the death for her Alpha position, he’d suffer a horrible injustice of nature once again. If she didn’t bond with him, they may never connect the way a Lycan couple should. This left her with nothing more than a feeling of dread.

  When they parked the car, she quickly thanked him for the lunch and hurried up to her room to put her things away. In order to make dinner with Wendy, Colin’s sister, on time, she’d have to quickly change, check her messages and be ready to leave.

  She was fond of Wendy but had requested she leave and join the new school. Dinner would at least sate her curiosity regarding Wendy’s transition. Standing in her closet, she decided on one of the few pant suits she had and stripped down to her underwear and bra, quickly pulling on the tan pants. Colin had always dressed well and it was a dinner. His mate shouldn’t sport jeans and a tank top while accompanying him to a family meeting. Tossing the jacket and flats on the bed as she crossed the room to the bathroom, she worked quickly to get her long dark hair into a French twist and applied a little mascara.

  “How do you do that?” Colin asked from the bedroom, staring in at her as she smoothed a tinted lip balm across her bottom lip.

  “Do what?”

  “Transform, that’s what. You look like a different woman, entirely.” He shook his head. “This is how I saw you the very first time. I distinctly remember my jaw hitting the floor.”

  She felt the smile spreading across her face. “All I remember was you could hardly put two words together.”

  He leaned his forearm against the door jamb. “Well yeah, I was speechless. You truly are a vision, Nala. Don’t think for one moment I don’t find you absolutely stunning just because our union was arranged.” He winked before abruptly turning and walking into his own large closet.

  And there it was. He was flirting again. The ride home was quiet. Why didn’t he choose then to flirt? Why not over lunch? Why now after a long awkward drive home? He left her standing, speechless, at the bathroom mirror.

  “Because we spend too much time protecting ourselves. We don’t notice it all of the time.” Her wolf, which had been entirely too absent finally spoke to her. “We must learn to relax. He is a good wolf.”

  It was now or never. He had flirted, complimented, and assured her of his physical attraction. After a deep, cleansing breath, she put her head forward and marched into his closet.

  He was tucking in his dress shirt when he froze, surprised to see her in his space. She took three slow steps closing the distance between them. Easing her hand up, she placed her palm on his cheek and leaned in, hopeful. He didn’t miss his cu
e, closing the one solitary inch between them, locking their lips in their first kiss. It was brief and respectful…tender, yet full of need.

  Her heart raced and she wasn’t sure if it were nerves or butterflies tying her stomach into knots.

  “Thank you for the compliment. It feels really nice.” She leaned back on her heels easing back from him, releasing his face. “I’m looking forward to dinner.”

  Maybe the ride to the school would be more pleasant than the ride home from shopping. She gave him a quick smile before hurrying out of the closet to let him finish dressing. Silently, she chastised herself for not paying more attention, of noting his reaction. It wasn’t easy when she was so focused on being brave enough to take the first important step.

  Her head snapped at a tiny knock on their bedroom door. She began walking toward it to answer when Colin rushed in front of her. “No you don’t!” When he opened the door, Thomas one of the Gnomes stood holding a small black box in his hand.

  “Mr. Baker, here is your order. I do hope they are to your liking.” He lifted the box up and Colin scooped it out of his hand.

  “I’m sure it’s perfect, Thomas. Thank you.”

  “Mrs. Baker,” the tiny man bobbed his head, “have a great evening.”

  “What was that about?” she asked as he shut the door.

  He closed the distance between them and held the black box in his palm, which was stretched out toward her. “A gift for my wife.”

  Her mouth fell slack and her heart throbbed in her chest. He’d procured a gift for her. She could not remember the last time anyone gave her a gift, especially for no reason. She lifted the small box from his hand and opened it, finding two pink garnet earrings, hand carved by the Gnomes. A matching garnet studded bracelet rested at the bottom.

  “Colin!” she gasped holding the box away from her. “This is too much.”

  With gentle pressure, and a smile plastered on his face, he pushed it back toward her. “No. It isn’t. You are Alpha of this pack. You are my mate. It’s a simple gift I would love to see you wear to dinner tonight.” He stepped closer and ran his hand along her arm. “And that’s nickel, due to your strong aversion to silver.”