All's Well That Ends Well

by Roseanne Dowell

  I didn’t know Ethel’s friend, but this place was something else, even the cabinet doors were put on backwards. Lillian plugged the coffee maker into the bathroom since none of the outlets in the kitchen worked. Not my first choice, but who was I to interfere? Unfortunately, we forgot to buy coffee and apparently Jayme was out.

  Breakfast ruined, we decided to go to Target, got in the car, backed out and pressed the remote to close the garage door. It didn’t go down. What the heck? Ed called as I got out of the car to figure out what to do.

  “Pull it down manually,” he said.

  Of course, why didn’t I think of that? “How do I do that?” Mechanics and I didn’t mix.

  “Pull the cord down, unlock the door, and pull it down manually.”

  It was a double door, so Ethel helped me.

  “Don’t forget to pull the cord until it clicks.”

  Ethel and I were both outside by that time, so we lifted it back up, I crawled under and pulled the cord backward, but it wouldn’t click because I’m too short to do it right. So I found a step stool and that solved the problem. By this time, I was ready to go back in the house. Good grief, this fun trip was turning out anything but.

  Since we hadn’t eaten, we decided to stop for breakfast before we shopped. We ate, drank our coffee, and got ready to leave. The power went out. It wasn’t our fault, honest. I was beginning to think we were cursed. Maybe this trip wasn’t such a good idea. Who experiences so many unlucky events?

  On to Target and back home, fortunately with no mishaps. I opened the garage door, went to the door to the house, you guessed it. Locked up tight as a drum. We were told it was never locked because the garage door was always locked. Thank goodness Ethel had the code from her friend, who we still hadn’t heard from. We put the groceries away and discovered they didn’t give us our coffee creamer. Now we had to go back tomorrow. I’m glad I drank my coffee black.

  Ethel went to the bathroom to make coffee, which overflowed. Last thing I wanted to do was clean up coffee and grounds from mosaic tile. This was supposed to be relaxing?

  The next day after we picked up our coffee creamer, Mama suggested we do some sightseeing. “I’ve always wanted to see the shipyard. Who’s up for it?”

  Everyone agreed. Even I liked the idea. Besides there wasn’t much else to do but shop and I was about shopped out. I never was a big shopper, especially all the little gift shops. At least no one suggested those. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.

  There was a big festival in town so a lot of the roads were closed. I didn’t have a clue where we were or where I was going. We were stopped in traffic and there was a sheriff’s car in front of me. I jumped out and asked him for directions. After his explanation of a right turn here, a left turn there, I was lost. Figured I’d just go with the flow.

  I turned the corner. The ships were visible in the distance. A cop directed traffic and I asked for more directions.

  “Go up a bit and turn right.”

  Sounded simple enough. The road was coming to an end and I was in the wrong lane. Cars were going to hit me. I panicked and crossed over the curb and went up onto the railroad tracks.

  “Stop!” Ethel screamed.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Mama yelled.

  “I swear, Beatrice Lulu, you always were crazy, but that bump on your head has made you go off the deep end. Are you insane?” Lillian checked her seatbelt.

  I drove around the bend and got back on the street. “I guess I’ll never be a limo or cab driver.” I don’t mind telling you, I was a bit shaken myself. I’d never done anything like that before. Driving on the railroad tracks? Maybe I was nuts. At least we had arrived at our destination. I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the door. “Coming?” I’m sure I sounded calmer than I felt.

  Ethel, Lillian, Lottie, and my mother sat there. Frozen. Their expressions horror filled. I walked around and opened my mother’s door.

  “Come on, ladies, it wasn’t that bad.”

  Mama recovered first. “Ethel, you’re driving home.” She got out of the car, slammed the door, and threw me a dirty look. Poor Lottie never did recover. I don’t think she spoke the rest of the day, which was rare for her.

  So much for our relaxing weekend. Although, I will say, I enjoyed the shipyard and the tour of how they built ships. One doesn’t realize how big they are until you’re standing next to one.

  I couldn’t wait to get home. I’d had enough fun and adventure for a while. I’d be content to stay home with Ed. At least until his party.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I talked Ed into taking me out for the day on his birthday. Not trusting I could get him to the lodge for his party, I enlisted Ethel’s husband, Greg, to call later and invite us to have dinner with them. I figured Ed might tell me no, but I doubted he’d say no to Greg. We often had dinner with them.

  “You’re as jumpy as a pack of coyotes. What’s going on with you, Bea? You been acting edgy all day.”

  “What are you talking about, Ed? I’m fine.” Fact is I was worried. What if Ed didn’t feel like going out to dinner? Sometimes after being out all day, he just wanted to go home. I was counting on Greg to talk him into it, but I might have to beg. I didn’t like begging for anything. It wasn’t my nature.

  I couldn’t wait for him to see my gift. I’d left it up to Ethel to get it there. He mentioned wanting the B&O steam locomotive some time ago. Thank goodness the man at the train stores was able to order it for me.

  “Hey, are you listening to me?” Ed shook my arm. “You’re in never, never land or someplace. You’ve been acting awful strange since you hit your head. Are you feeling okay? Do you want to go home?”

  “Huh? Sorry, I was just thinking.”

  “Thinking, about what?”

  “Um those cars that keep flying past me.”

  Ed put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. “You ignore those cars, ya hear me?”

  “Okay, okay.” Geesh, the man was getting more and more bossy. Good thing something came to mind. Although they had been on my mind ever since I saw those guys. What were they doing in that dilapidated garage? I looked at my watch. Greg should be calling any time. No sooner did the thought enter my mind and Ed’s cell phone rang. Thank goodness.

  “Hello.”

  I could hear Greg’s voice from where I stood.

  “Greg, how ya doing?”

  I crossed my fingers, said a quick prayer, and listened

  “Dinner? Hold on. Greg wants to know if we want to meet them for dinner.”

  Phew, it worked. “Sure, why not.”

  “Okay, we’ll see you there. Half hour? Hold on. Half hour okay, Bea?”

  “Perfect.”

  “Half hour’s great, see you then.” Ed slid his cell phone into his pocket.

  I was in the clear. The plan worked perfectly.

  Half hour later, we pulled into the parking lot. No need to worry about all the cars, it was often crowded. We no more than got into the hall and Ed pulled me back.

  “Is something going on here tonight?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing more than usual, why?” Sometimes I think Ed had a sixth sense. I hooked my hand through his arm and tugged him along.

  “Surprise!” Everyone yelled as we reached the doorway into the hall.

  Ed stopped dead in his tracks. He didn’t much care for surprises, but it wasn’t my idea. Besides he deserved it.

  “Nothing more than usual, huh?”

  For a minute I thought he was going to leave or have a stroke or something. His face turned so red I thought he’d burst a blood vessel.

  “Relax and enjoy, okay? They wanted to surprise you. Let them have their moment.” I wasn’t sure if I should hold him up, find him a chair, or call for help.

  He took a deep breath and a step into the room before everyone bombarded him with hands outstretched to shake his hand and hug him. These people really loved Ed.

  “You son of a gun.” Ed s
lapped Greg on his back. “Dinner, huh?”

  “We had to get you here somehow. Beatrice Lulu thought that was the best way. Thank God it worked.”

  Horace hugged Ed. “Sorry I had to lie to you about the missing money.”

  “You mean it was for this?”

  Horace nodded.

  “Don’t mind telling you I was worried sick.”

  “Well, now you can forget about it. It’s all accounted for and some was even put back.” Horace patted Ed’s back. “I hated to do that to you.”

  The band started playing and the Dee Jay called Ed and me to lead off the dance. Ed held back. I took his hand and led him onto the floor. A few minutes later, Ed waved his hand for everyone to join us. Nothing Ed hated worse than to be the center of attention.

  Didn’t take long for everyone to join in. We finished out the first set and sat down. Ed hadn’t danced that much since I’d met him. Wasn’t one for dancing and partying. I, on the other hand, could have danced all night and so could my sisters. “You’re lucky, you know.”

  “How’s that?” Ed pulled away and looked in my eyes.

  “Time changes tonight. You get to celebrate your birthday an hour longer.”

  Ed twirled me around the floor and laughed. “Only you would come up with something like that.”

  “Well it’s true. I only get to celebrate for 24 hours.”

  “You’re jealous.”

  “Of course I’m not. Don’t be impudent.”

  “You’re pouting.” Ed stopped in the middle of the dance floor. “You are jealous. Good grief, Bea, do you really think I’m staying awake an hour longer to celebrate?”

  I shrugged. “Why not?”

  “You know me better than that. Parties and celebrating ain’t my thing. Only reason I’m still here is because of you.”

  I believed him. Ed didn’t see any sense in all the hoopla, as he called it.

  Lottie grabbed her husband onto the dance floor. Every time he tried to sit down, she grabbed him again and yelled “Let’s cut the rug.”

  When she finally did sit down, she talked nonstop about nothing in particular, just rattled on and on. It didn’t matter that we weren’t listening. She pulled my arm to get my attention. “I talk a lot when I drink.”

  “Really, I hadn’t noticed.” Funny thing about Lottie, she talked a lot when she wasn’t drinking. I honestly didn’t think it was possible for her to talk more, but she did. Darn woman was getting on my nerves. I liked it better when she was dancing. She definitely couldn’t hold her liquor. Not that she drank much. Lottie wasn’t a big drinker. None of us were. I think she’d only had two or three.

  Fortunately, Maybelle Lewis came along and I detached myself from Lottie. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister, but there were times, I just needed to get away from her. Maybelle and I headed toward the dessert table.

  “So how’s work going, Maybelle. You’ve been pretty busy lately.” Maybelle worked for our local Funeral Home.

  “Busy as usual. We had a horrible experience last week.”

  “Really? What happened?”

  “A murder.”

  My knees went weak, my heart skipped a beat. “A murder? What happened?”

  “Well,” Maybelle puffed herself out like a peacock. “You remember me telling you about the chickens across the street from the home, don’t you?”

  I nodded. Maybelle had a habit of stretching out a story. Never could get to it in a few words.

  “Well, you know I’ve said they never came across the street, right?”

  “Do get on with it, Maybelle, what do chickens have to do with the murder?”

  “Well, I came into work last week and right there in front of the door was a dead chicken, all mangled up. Probably killed by a coyote.”

  “Maybelle Lewis!” I punched her arm and laughed. “You sure had me going. Looks like crossing the road to get to the other side didn’t work out too well for that chicken now, did it?”

  “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” Maybelle grabbed my arm. “On a more serious note, my sister in law Stella called last week. You know the one who lives in Florida. Well this is the saddest story. She said, Bert came home drunk, not that it’s unusual, Bert had a habit of coming home drunk. That man had a serious drinking problem. Anyway, he went to the bathroom and fifteen minutes later, Stella figured he fell asleep. He had a habit of doing that also. Couple weeks ago she said he fell asleep in the bathtub and she pulled the plug so he wouldn’t drown. He didn’t wake up for three hours.” Maybelle’s laugh echoed across the hall and people turned to look. Maybelle had one of those boisterous crackly laughs.

  “Anyway, Stella said there he was sleeping with his head on the cold hard sink. Not wanting to wake him, she got a pillow and put under his head. But when he still hadn’t woke up half hour later she checked on him again. He was dead.” Maybelle let out another cackle. “I don’t mean to laugh, but Stella laughed when she told me. You know Stella was never one for compassion.”

  I hardly knew what to say. Part of me wanted to laugh, but the solemnity of Bert passing prevented it. I remembered Stella from years ago. Kind of a cold, hard hearted type of women. Her whole family was except for Elmer, Maybelle’s husband. Their mother was the coldest woman I’d ever met. I think if she’d have smiled her face would have cracked. Emotionless. Never shed a tear when her own husband died. Leastways none anyone could see. Granted, no one knew what went on behind closed doors, but judging from the way the kids acted, it was a pretty sure bet they didn’t get much affection. They grew up just as emotionless and compassionless.

  Elmer, on the other hand, cried at the drop of a hat and wasn’t ashamed of it. He had one of those contagious smiles, the kind that put you in a good mood no matter how bad your day was going. Nicest guy I’d ever met.

  Ethel grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Maybelle. “I’ve been thinking we should join an exercise program.”

  “Are you nuts? At our age an exercise program? Heck, I can barely walk sometimes.”

  “No, really Beatrice Lulu. We need to get out and do something productive.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well there’s this new Spinner’s Class over at the Y. That might be fun.”

  “Spinner’s Class, what the heck is that?”

  Ethel gave me one of her looks. “It’s indoor cycling taught by an instructor.”

  “I know how to ride a bike, what do I need an instructor for?”

  “Oh for heaven sake, it has nothing to do with teaching you how to ride a bike. It’s a stationary bike for one thing and it’s a cardio aerobic workout set to music.”

  “Just what I need. Those seats are tiny and uncomfortable. My fat butt would swallow up one of those seats. No thanks, Ethel, that’s not for me.”

  Ethel crossed her arms. She never was one to give up easy. “Okay, how about an aquatic class? You used to like to swim.”

  I swear my sister was crazier than a loon. “I’d look like a whale in a bathing suit.”

  “No worse than any other woman there. Come on Beatrice Lulu, it’ll be good for us.”

  “I’ll think about it, but don’t get your hopes up. I like my sedentary life style.”

  Ethel tapped her foot “Where’s that going to get you? To an early grave.”

  She had a point. I was getting less and less active and gaining weight. Maybe a swimming class wouldn’t be bad. Still, I couldn’t picture me in a bathing suit. Well, actually I could, and it wasn’t a pretty picture.

  Ed saved me from more of Ethel’s pressure. “Come on, honey pot, let’s take one more twirl around the dance floor.”

  Not an offer I’d refuse. Ed seldom asked me to dance and I took advantage. The evening was coming to a close, the party was a great success, and once Ed got over being surprised, he relaxed and enjoyed it.

  “So what were you and Ethel concocting now?”

  “Me, nothing. Ethel’s trying to get me to join an exercise program. The woman’s gone loopy.
Can you believe she wanted me to join a spinning class? That’s a bicycle program by the way. Can you see me on a bike?”

  “Hmm, maybe an exercise program’s not a bad idea. Not necessarily a bicycle program, but maybe something else. A little less taxing.”

  I pulled away and looked Ed square in the eye. “Are you and Ethel in a conspiracy? The audacity! An exercise program. Harumph.”

  “Now, Bea, don’t be like that. And no, Ethel and I aren’t conspiring. It just sounded like a good idea. You have to admit you’re a bit out of shape. Now, honey pot, don’t go pulling away.” Ed pulled me back close to him. “I’d just like to keep you around for a long time. What else did she suggest?”

  “Swimming. You are plotting with her. What’s with you two?”

  “Not plotting. She mentioned it to me, and it sounded like a good idea. You like to swim, don’t you?”

  “I’ve not been swimming in years. What do you mean, she mentioned it? When?”

  “After she helped you clean up the paint from the kitchen.”

  “She told you about that? What a traitor.”

  “I confess I asked her to check in on you. I was worried about you. Ever since you hit your head, you’ve been…”

  “Been what? I can’t believe my sister betrayed me.”

  “She didn’t betray you. She did what I asked her to do. Okay, you’ve been a bit disoriented, clumsy.”

  I pulled away, not believing what I was hearing. The two people in the world I thought I could trust and here they were conspiring against me. Tears stung my eyes. Clumsy! Okay, maybe I had been lately, but that was because of the trauma. Had nothing to do with my weight.

  Ed put his arm around me. “I’m sorry. I know you’ve had a hard time of it lately, but you are out of sorts and…”

  “Of course I’m out of sorts. I’ve suffered a brain trauma. It’s going to take time to recover. You heard the doctor.”

  “Yes, I did. And that’s exactly the reason I think an exercise class will do you good. Swimming especially. You love the water and it’ll get you out of the house doing something constructive. It’ll keep you out of trouble.”