The Rest is Silence

by Chii Rempel

  I look up at Rosencrantz, shock covering my whole face. “You think they’re hunting them down? Fuck, what do we do? We need to help them somehow.”

  “Where are they, Cades?” Rosencrantz asks.

  I shake my head, fighting the tears burning in my eyes. This is no time for weakness.

  Guildenstern takes my hands, thumbs slowly caressing my wrists. His hands are warm in contrast to the blasting cold. I know I must be shivering, but I don’t really feel it. The worry and fear are keeping me occupied.

  “Arcadia, you don’t have to do this alone. Let us help. You can trust us.”

  I shake my head again and sniff. “It’s not that … I know I can trust you. At least, I hope I do. I suppose I have no choice at that matter. But I really have no idea where they went, I don’t know how far they got. How are we supposed to find them?”

  “We don’t,” Rosencrantz says, putting a hand on my shoulder. “We make sure that the king doesn’t find them.”

  21

  Xander

  The town consists of a collection of mostly two-storey brick houses, arranged in circles around the market square, made to resemble the shape of the castle. The streets are all cobbled, but there are a few trees here and there, creating a livelier touch. Not that the town needed it. The thing that it most definitely doesn’t lack is life. It’s always crowded, always so full of people. Treldorn is a busy place, being one of the biggest towns in Jütland. Although it isn’t anywhere near the coastline, making it not as important as the outer towns in regard to trading, its immediate proximity to the castle – and therefore the comings and goings of the richest and most influential people – creates the ideal place for lots of artists, musicians, tailors and other craftsmen.

  The market square is surrounded by various inns and pubs. Arcadia, Xavier and I have drunk ourselves through most of them, but there are two or three places that hold the most memories and which have become our regular spots of misbehaviour.

  I tug at Xavier’s coat, indicating for him to follow me as I stride about the place like I own it. No reason to hide here yet, as it is quite impossible that word about my ‘treachery’ has reached Treldorn already. I pronounce a few greetings here and there, nod at a few familiar faces, but I make it clear that I have a destination in mind and no interest in wasting my time.

  The Fortinbras Inn stands restlessly in the shadows, tucked away at a corner of the market square – awaiting the rush and the heat of the bodies that flood it every evening. There’s nothing special about it, no fancy façade, not even the best beer. And yet it somehow managed to become my favourite. The innkeeper – Rishak – is storming in and out of the place, his shirt already soaked through with sweat, stacking boxes on a carriage at the corner of the inn. His daughter – Maggie – is wiping the windows frantically.

  Rishak puts a box down on the carriage and stretches. “That’s nearly all of the bloody things,” he says, out of breath. “Go fetch Kyle and tell him to harness the horse.”

  He waits the few seconds it takes for his daughter to realise she’s being spoken to, before he nods and stomps towards the back of the inn.

  I quicken my pace so we reach her before she can vanish inside.

  “What are you doing?” I hear Xavier whisper behind me but ignore him. My eyes are set on the target.

  “Maggie, darling,” I call out before she reaches the door. She’s clearly caught off guard and whirls around, a pained look on her face. As she recognizes me and Xavier however, the look quickly changes into one of surprise and a smile appears on her lips.

  “My prince,” she says, making a curtsy. “Mr. Colson.”

  “No need to be so stiff, dear,” I say, putting a hand on her shoulder and blowing a kiss on either side of her face, before taking a respective step back. Her face turns a lovely shade of red and I grin at her smugly. Xavier clears his throat awkwardly. “We’re friends after all, aren’t we?”

  Her smile turns shy and she looks up at me from under long eyelashes. “I’d like it to be true, my prince. If it is what you wish. How can I be of help so early in the day? I’m afraid, we’re not open for business just yet.”

  I start shaking my head before she even finishes her sentence and take one of her hands in both of mine. It’s cold and a little clammy. She seems startled by the gesture and grows even more red, if that’s possible. I stroke a thumb over the back of her hand.

  “That’s not at all why we’re here, Maggie,” I say and put on a secretive smile. “There’s something Xavier and I need to do and we desperately need your help.”

  Her eyebrows rise. “M-My help?” she stutters, nearly squeaking.

  I nod earnestly, holding her gaze. “Yes, you’re the only one we can trust with this. It’s a secret, you see.”

  “A secret?”

  “A surprise, really. So, nobody can know what we’re about to do, do you understand?”

  She looks between me and Xander, a little unsure. I flash her another smile and she nods quickly.

  “Good,” I say, letting go of her hand. “Because you see, the wedding of my beloved mother and uncle is getting close and I still haven’t found the perfect gift to give them. Everything I could get them here in Treldorn, they already have. So I need to look somewhere else, you know? Somewhere they wouldn’t expect me to go.”

  I raise an eyebrow expectantly and glance over to the carriage full of boxes. “I heard your father would be leaving for Rassgar today and you see, it would be the perfect place to look for a wedding gift. It is the Capital of Faith, after all.”

  I give her time to let my words sink in and turn my head towards Xavier for a moment, who has been awfully quiet this whole time. Our eyes meet and I can see that he’s trying hard not to smile. He shakes his head disbelievingly when I grin.

  “Oh,” Maggie breathes, “so you want me to ask my father to take you with him to Rassgar?”

  “No!” Xavier and I immediately blurt. She takes a step back, surprised about our reaction and musters us confusedly. “I don’t understand.”

  I quickly check if anybody is listening in on our conversation after our little outburst, but everybody around us seems to remain blissfully ignorant.

  Xavier puts a hand on the girl’s shoulder, leaning in closer. “We’re going to hide in your father’s carriage, okay? And you absolutely can’t tell anybody that we’ve done so, all right, Maggie? Nobody can know, and I mean nobody. After all, it’s supposed to be a surprise.”

  “We’re trusting you on this one, Maggie darling,” I add with a conspiratorial wink.

  She gulps, looking wide-eyed between Xavier and me. There’s still a pink blush covering her cheeks. Finally, she nods. I grin, satisfied, and squeeze Xavier’s arm quickly.

  “Thanks, we owe you one.”

  “But be quick about it, father’s leaving soon,” she says, rushing us over to the carriage. Rishak is not back yet, so I cast a final look around to check that nobody is watching, before flinging myself into the carriage. The boxes don’t leave much space exactly, but they are piled up high enough that I can hide in between them without being seen on the spot.

  Xavier mutters some final thank-you to Maggie, before jumping in after me. The carriage rocks a little from his weight. Hiding is not getting easier with Xavier’s massive build in the picture. But before I can begin to seriously doubt my plan, Xavier rearranges a few boxes and somehow – I like to consider it a miracle – we fit somewhat inconspicuously into the carriage.

  It’s just as I am about to release a relieved sigh that I hear voices. Voices that sound too authoritarian and demanding to be coming from Maggie or her father.

  “We’re looking for Prince Alexander.”

  Panic starts boiling up in my stomach. Immediately, Xavier’s hand flies up to cover my mouth. I shoot him a look. I’m not stupid, it’s not like I was going to give myself away. He doesn’t meet my eyes. Instead he squirms behind the stack of boxes and risks a look at the newcomers. As he turns back to fa
ce me, I can see that he has identified them. So we have been found already. That was quick.

  Xavier presses closer to me, pushing me further back into the boxes. I would ask what he’s doing, but his hand is still covering my mouth. He’s pushing further, but there’s just no more space left. I’ve made myself as tiny as is possible without breaking a bone or two. Xavier is pressed up against me, practically covering me from head to toe. He’s trying to shield me from view, I realise. Not that it’s going to help. If the soldiers spot Xavier, they find me as well. Still, it’s kind of endearing, how he practically tries to cover me like a blanket. It would be hot, were we not fearing for our lives.

  “He was seen coming this way. Was he here?” I hear one of the soldiers ask.

  There’s a stretch of silence that makes my stomach churn in fear that Maggie’s not going to keep her word.

  “N-No, he hasn’t been here today,” the girl finally answers.

  “Well, then it’s no problem if we took a look around, right?”

  “What? Eh – no, I mean –”

  “What’s going on?” the harsh voice of Rishak interrupts suddenly. He must have come back to the front of the inn. “What do you want from my daughter?”

  “We are looking for the prince, have you –”

  “We haven’t seen him. And now, would you please be so kind as to bugger off, some people have work to do.”

  “There’s no reason to –”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Rishak interrupts again, grunting. “Continue this investigation for longer and you won’t be having any decent booze around here, if I don’t get my arse to Rassgar soon.”

  That seems to bring them to silence.

  Xavier

  My calves burn from crouching, my knees want to pop and my back is going to kill me if I keep it hunched like that for much longer. Only the rocking of the carriage gives my muscles some kind of release, shaking them up and providing at least a little bit of movement.

  I’m still half hovering over Xander, as there’s simply no room for me to back off and give him some space. He doesn’t seem to mind too much. His head rests on my outstretched arm, that I use to keep me balanced. His eyes are closed, but I know he’s not really asleep. It would be humanly impossible to sleep in this position. I don’t know how long I will be able to stay like this. It’s been a while since we left Treldorn behind, but I can’t estimate how much time has passed. Being in an uncomfortable position tends to make the time go slower.

  I lift my head to look between the boxes at the passing surroundings. Nothing besides trees. Nothing that feels familiar, that I could pin a location to.

  At least, my father’s soldiers don’t seem to be following us. That’s worth a little discomfort.

  The sun is sitting low in the sky as the carriage finally comes to a stop. Xander slowly opens his eyes and blinks at me tiredly. “What’s going on?”

  “We need to leave, quickly,” I hiss and try to move a few boxes silently. “Before Rishak starts to unload.”

  Xander nods absently. I try to rise slowly, but my muscles are sore and decide to act against me. I stumble and let my arms fly out to catch myself on the boxes, knocking a couple of them over. They fall in a loud clatter from the carriage.

  “Fuck,” I huff, at the same time as I hear Rishak somewhere asking: “What the –”

  I grab Xander by the elbow and jump off the wagon.

  “Run!” I command. Pulling a disoriented prince after me, I run towards the first houses I see to get out of the innkeeper’s field of vision. Xander crashes right into my chest as I slip behind a wall and come to a sudden halt.

  “What –” Xander says and tries to regain balance, but I close my arms tightly around his waist and keep him pressed against me.

  “Shhh,” I make, listening for any signs of somebody following us. As soon as I’m positive that that’s not the case, I let out a deep breath I didn’t realise I’ve been holding. I loosen my grip on Xander, but he remains in place, hands fisted in my jacket.

  We’re in a narrow shadowy alley. Good. Not many eyes to spot us here.

  “You all right?” I ask, looking down at Xander who is suspiciously quiet. His eyes have lost some colour and he looks more tired than usual, but he gives me a small smile and nods.

  “Good. Let’s go this way.” With this, I grab his hand and pull him down the alley. It would be best to keep a low profile. We are still too close to the castle, people know our faces. We would be recognised far too soon. At least, the prince would be.

  “Let’s look for a place to stay for tonight, yeah?” I suggest. “And then I’ll go fetch something to eat for us.”

  Xander nods, his gaze still distant. “Sounds good.”

  I take us to the first inn I can find that isn’t too close to the centre. It’s shabby and cold inside, but it has to do for the night. The innkeeper is a cranky woman in her forties, hair tied back in a messy bun and face branded by hard work and worry. We pay for one room upstairs at the end of the hall and hastily disappear inside it.

  It’s small but appears to be tidy. There’s a tiny window facing the quiet street outside and two very narrow beds that lack absolutely every luxury Xander is used to. However, he doesn’t complain as he makes his way over to one of the beds and slumps down on it gracelessly.

  “Will you be okay on your own for a while?” I ask. He nods and I go downstairs to grab some soup and hard bread to bring back to our room. When I come back, he’s moved into a more comfortable position on the bed.

  I hand Xander a bowl. It’s not hot, but warm enough to be pleasant against the coldness in the room.

  “Onion soup,” Xander states with a raised brow.

  “I know you don’t like it,” I say, “But there’s nothing else. I asked.”

  He nods again and starts eating. His expression makes it clear what exactly he is thinking about this soup, but he finishes it nonetheless. He must have been really hungry.

  After I’ve brought the empty bowls back downstairs, I come up to find Xander sitting with a blanket thrown over his shoulders, his cheeks a little rosier than before.

  “You look better,” I say with a soft smile. “Did the food help?”

  “It was atrocious,” he answers and wrinkles his nose. “But a hungry me is a cranky me and that’ not helping anybody, so…”

  I huff out a laugh and sit down next to him. “At least you’re talking again. I didn’t even know you were capable of being quiet for such a long time. I was worried.”

  He elbows me in the side. I laugh even harder. He turns to face me, his expression remorseful.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

  “What for?”

  “Everything. It’s my fault you are in this situation. I – I never meant for something like this to happen. I just wanted to have my home back, the way it used to be. And be able to stay there. Look at where I am now. I’m running away from it. What if I’ll never be able to return? What if I’ve lost it forever? I’ve ruined my life, Xavier. And I’ve dragged you right into my mess.”

  There’s a pathetic quiver in his voice that I just can’t deal with. I grab his hands and squeeze them tightly.

  “It’s not your fault and you haven’t dragged me anywhere, Xander. I go where you go, that’s the deal. And this is not the end. We will find a way to prove that Claudius killed your father and then everything will be alright.”

  “I wish I could believe that. How do you do it? How do you stay so strong?”

  “How can I not believe it when I’m looking at you?” I let go of his hands and cradle his face instead, making him look right into my eyes as I say: “You are the strongest person I know, Xander. Yes, you are ridiculously dramatic and a whiney child when you’re hungry –”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “– but you’re also unbearably kind and intelligent and just so so good. You know what I believe when I think of you? That absolutely nothing is impossible. So yeah, I believe everything will turn out
right in the end. Because it’s you, Xander. You make everything possible.”

  I know my face is red by the time I’m finished. Somehow, laying your feelings bare feels more intimate than … anything we’ve done so far. But I don’t care. Xander deserves to hear those words. He deserves to know what he means to me.

  “Xavier,” he whispers and shakes my hands off his face before lunging himself at me, burying his nose into the crook of my neck. “You really are a sap.”

  I chuckle and put my arms around him. “That’s why you love me.”

  As soon as the words leave my mouth my whole body tenses. Fuck, I didn’t mean to say that. Why did I say that? We haven’t even discussed what this thing between us is properly and here I am, just casually dropping the L-word like it’s not a big deal. It wouldn’t have been a big deal before … it’s not like Xander doesn’t know that I love him, and I also know that he loves me, but that was before we started … whatever it is that we’re doing. Now it feels different. It feels so much heavier.

  I can feel Xander pull back and immediately drop my arms, an apology ready on my lips. But the look in his eyes takes my breath away. His eyes are so green and so full of affection and warmth. He smiles a bit cockily, nudging my nose. “Yeah, I do.”

  I forget to breathe for a moment as I stare in wonder into those deep irises like they’re holding the answer to every question ever spoken. Maybe they do.

  Xander snorts out a laugh. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not like you didn’t know I loved you.”

  “I didn’t,” I breathe. It’s the truth and a lie at the same time.

  “Yeah, right. Because I wasn’t totally obvious.”

  “… say it again.”

  “What? No, you can’t just tell me to say it.”

  “Please.”

  His eyes wander to the ceiling and he bites his lip like he’s trying to suppress a smile. It doesn’t work. “I love you.”

  “Again.”

  Now he laughs and smacks my chest with the back of his hand. “Look who’s getting needy.”