Sublime Wreckage

by Charlene Zapata

  "Do you have a list for the store?"

  "Yes. It's on the counter along with the money. Don't dilly dally or go for a joy ride. You hear me young lady?" I hate it when she calls me that but it's better than Mags.

  "Yes Ma'am. I will get back as soon as I can so I can finish up the laundry." That should get her off my back and allow for some extra driving time. I grab the keys, list and money off the counter and head out the front door grateful for some time to myself.

  Chapter Three

  I am so giddy I actually jump up and down and squeal like a twelve year old. I hop into the front seat of my mother's maroon 1998 Pontiac Grand Am. It's not the nicest car or the newest but I don't care. I get to drive! I roll both windows down and prop my left leg up against the dash. I put the car in reverse and back out of the driveway. As soon as I am far enough away from my house I blast the radio. I immediately start singing along with classic 90's music.

  After about 20 minutes of driving around enjoying my freedom I decide I've wasted enough time so I head over to the grocery store. I park in the only open spot, grab the list and head inside. Once I get a cart I look down at the list and then check the money I shoved into my front jean pocket. Dammit. Of course she didn't give me enough money to cover everything. Not even close. Why does she do this to me? If I come back without getting everything on the list there will be hell to pay. I hate that she makes me do this. Even if I use the $22 I have left for my lunch money this week I still can't pay for everything on the list. I take a deep breath realizing what I have to do. Thank goodness I wore an oversized t-shirt today. Doesn't she realize this is even harder in the summer when I don't have a bulky coat to help?

  I grab the cart and clench it until my knuckles turn white. Then I let it go. At least if I get caught she will bail me out with no questions asked. I take a few minutes to examine the list more carefully. I add up how much this is all going to cost me and figure if I "five finger discount" four of the items I can pay for everything else and only have to use some of my own money. This is the reality of my life. So I suck it up and head into the store. I'm about halfway through the shopping list. I have two of the four "free" items securely tucked down my pants. Just as I'm reaching up on my tip toes to pull the asthmatic inhaler off the top shelf I hear a deep voice laugh behind me. I turn slowly, lowering myself back down to the balls of my feet, just as I notice who that sound came from. Standing right behind me is Vincent Moreno.

  "Sorry, but you might want to keep your shirt down. I can see that box peeking out of your jeans and I would hate to see a pretty little face like yours end up in juvy. Hi. I'm..."

  Right before he can introduce himself I snort. "I know exactly who you are Slick. And I don't need advice from you." I turn back around, reach up high and pull the box down. I turn back around with the box in my left hand, cross my arms over the cart handle and slowly begin to open the box. After it's opened I slide the inhaler out of the box and into my front pocket. My shirt covers the bulge there but even if someone sees it I can play it off as my own. I cross my arms again still holding the empty box. Vincent is standing there watching me like a hawk with a small smirk on his face. Oh my God! He is so damn good looking. He looks like his little brother but more mature. He has dark skin, dark brown hair that is almost black, cut very short almost like a military buzz cut. His eyes, oh my, his eyes. They are the deepest brown, they remind me of my dad. I have to get away from him but he is blocking my way. "Do you mind, I kind of need to finish my shopping."

  He is just standing there staring. What is his problem? He's the thug not me. I do this out of necessity not by choice. I've heard the stories about stealing, car theft and beating kids up just for the heck of it. Thug. He is a thug. So I do what anyone would do with a thug, I run right into him with my cart. Okay, so no one else would do that to someone they are afraid of but I guess my brain isn't working right now.

  "Ouch. That really wasn't necessary. I would have moved. I just haven't seen a girl with such huge balls before. You're pretty good too. That's rare."

  "I don't have a clue what you're talking about." I push my way past him while rolling my eyes when I get a whiff of his scent. And I say scent because it's like nothing I have ever smelled before. I don't even think I could describe it other than to say it's just him. Fresh, clean, bright with a hint of grass mixed in with the best cologne I have ever smelled in my entire life. It reminds me of being in the park on a cool fall day laying on the ground so close to the earth you can smell it. Very rustic but also very...very...I just can't place it. It seems to suit him as odd as that sounds.

  I turn the corner and go over two aisles to the bread. I tuck the box into the palm of my hand. As I reach for the loaf of bread I quickly place the empty box behind the other loaves and push it all the back. One more thing to get then I'm done. I go down the last aisle to take the last item. Cream for my mother's eczema. I repeat the same process and slip the tube down the front of my pants. Well, that's uncomfortable. Just act normal and get the hell out of here. Confidence is the key.

  I step up to the counter, empty my cart and wait for the total. I was able to find a few things on sale so the total is not as bad as I thought. I only have to add $5 of my own money to cover the groceries. I pull the money out of my back pocket to pay, careful not to lift my shirt to much in the front. The lady behind the register hands me my receipt while giving me a small, tight smile. I grab onto the shopping cart and head for the door. This is the scariest part. Can I make it to the car? If they saw me take anything, they will stop me right after I exit the store. I got caught one time stealing medicine for my mom. They called her and when she picked me up she looked so pissed I thought she was going to beat the shit out of me when we got home. As soon as we got in the car, she started laughing. All she said was don't get caught again. The store never pressed charges because it was under $20. My mother paid for the item so they let it drop. I was only 15 when it happened and learned my lesson. I honed my skills and haven't got caught since. But that doesn't mean I won't. And at my age, almost 18, it could ruin my chances of getting into a good college. I know she knows that so I can't understand why she still pulls this crap with me.

  I take a big, deep breath as I make my way back to the car. I pop the trunk and start loading the bags. I quickly pull the four items from my pockets and pants and put them in one of the bags. That's when I hear his voice again.

  "That was very impressive. I couldn't have done it better myself. I didn't catch your name?"

  "That's because I didn't throw it your way, Slick." Did I really just say that? He is going to think I'm a moron. Come on Maggie. Think of something cleaver so you don't look like an idiot. Nothing. I've got nothing.

  "Wow. I don't think I have ever met someone so turned off by my presence. Is it something I said?"

  I look up and immediately regret it. I am staring directly into those endless brown eyes. I can't seem to pull my eyes away. He is standing right beside me, close enough that I can inhale his scent. So I do. I take a deep breath and exhale. Why do I feel drawn to this thug of a guy who I don't even know? Sure he is good looking. Okay. That's a bit of an understatement. He is so my type. Tall, dark and handsome. I know it sounds cliché but damn. I reluctantly tear my eyes from his intense look and make my way down his body. I notice his strong jaw with a little stubble that I just want to lick. What is wrong with me? He is wearing a tight black t-shirt that shows off all of his muscles. And I mean all of them. It's the end of summer so he is wearing light tan shorts with big black work boots. Who does that? Who wears boots in this heat? But his legs, at least what I can see of them, are buff. There just isn't a better word. I hate those guys who focus all their energy on their upper body only to end up with chicken legs. Two skinny sticks holding up their over muscled torsos. But not this guy. He is built but it's not overdone. He is tall, slender and muscular. The perfect combination.

  "Like what you see?"

  I snap my eyes back up to his and sc
off. I actually scoff in his face. "Nothing I haven't seen before. Why are you harassing me anyway? Don't you have a bank to rob or something?" What is wrong with me? Seriously. I can't even believe I just said that.

  "Huh. I wouldn't have pegged you as someone who judges a person based on what others say, especially given your history with Sam."

  And on that note he turns and walks away. Damn, how does he know about Sam? Does he know who I am? Are they friends? So many questions that I have no intention of asking. The guy kind of scares me. Well, maybe that's not true. If I was so terrified of him I wouldn't have been antagonizing the guy so much. It's like I wanted to piss him off. There must be something seriously wrong with me. On the drive home flashes of Vincent Moreno keep hitting me like a slap in the face. It's his eyes. That's what drew me into him. There is something more to this "thug" I can feel it. Snap out of it Maggie! You don't have time for boys. But Vincent is no boy that's for sure. He is all man. And a hot man. I have got to get my mind off of him. Maybe I will go for a run after I finish all my chores and homework. That will clear my head.

  I pull into the driveway dreading going inside to her. I wonder what kind of a mood she's in now. I grab as many bags as I can carry and head into the house of doom. My mother is exactly where I left her. Sitting in front of the television. "Hey Mom."

  "What took you so damn long? I have been waiting forever!"

  "Sorry, it was really busy at the store and they were shorthanded." I really don't like lying but she brings it out in me. I only tell her things that I know she will never learn the truth about. I head back out to finish bringing the rest of the bags inside. When I come back to the kitchen, my mother is standing there scowling down at the groceries.

  "Did you get everything on the list? And don't you dare lie to me!"

  "Yes Mom. I got everything." I can't help it, I roll my eyes as I turn away from her. I regret it immediately. I instantly feel her grip on my right shoulder as she digs her nails into my flesh. She turns my body so I'm facing her then she slaps me right across the face. I quickly pull my hand up to the cheek she just hit. God that stings. I have never gotten used to being hit by this woman. Never. It still rips me to shreds. How can a mother hurt her child this way? I have never understood her hatred for me. As I look into her piss green eyes that is exactly what I see. Hate.

  "Don't you ever roll your eyes at me again you ungrateful little brat or I will show you who is in charge around here. Do you need that reminder again?"

  "No Ma'am. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." I whimper through my words as tears fall down my face. I hate that I'm crying in front of her but damn that hurt. I slowly turn away and start putting the groceries away. After I finish I ask her if she needs anything. Of course she wants me to fix her a bowl of ice cream with all her favorite toppings and a fresh sweet tea. I swear that woman eats more sweets than any other person I know. After I serve her, I go and switch the laundry over. Then I head into the bathroom to clean up. Just as I'm about to wipe down the mirror I notice the huge red mark across my face. Damn she hit me hard. I really hope it goes away before the morning. I really need to put some ice on it before it bruises. After I finish up in the bathroom I head back out to collect her dirty dishes. The woman doesn't lift a finger when I'm home. I wash her dishes and put them away. The laundry is done drying by this point so I fold it and put it away. Then I grab an ice pack and head to my room to work on homework.

  It's about 10:00 when I finish with everything. I am so tired but I really need to go for a run to clear my head. I put my shorts and running shoes on and head out to the living room.

  "I'm going for a run. The bathroom is clean, the laundry is done, and my homework is finished. I won't be gone long."

  "Like I give a damn what you do. As long as your chores are done go wherever you want as long as you don't take my car."

  Like I said before, she doesn't care what I do as long as I have done everything she wants before I do it. I really do wonder what it would be like to have a mother that actually gave a damn about me. I head out the front door this time since she knows I'm leaving. With any luck she will be asleep by the time I get back. Have I mentioned I have incredibly bad luck when it comes to my mom? So more than likely she will be awake and waiting when I get home.

  I put her out of my mind and run. I try to clear my head but I keep picturing Vincent. His strong muscles flexing under that tight black t-shirt as he moved. And those legs, strong, thick calves with those boots. Seriously, who wears big, thick work boots this time of year? But I kind of liked it. Why did I like it? I can't get involved with someone this close to graduating and escaping the hell I live in with my mother. I'm drawn back to his eyes. There is just something about them. I didn't feel fear when I looked into them, I felt oddly safe. I have got to get him out of my head. So I run harder, faster until I can't breathe anymore. I finally stop and bend over trying to catch my breath. When I look up I am right by the tracks. I really don't know why I always end up here. Maybe it's just familiar. After I wipe the sweat from my face I turn to head back when I see someone coming toward me. I freeze until I hear that voice that is becoming all too familiar.

  "You know you really shouldn't be out this late alone. A pretty girl like you could get hurt and that would be a shame."

  "I can take care of myself." That part is true. I took a self-defense class over the summer so I would have some sort of clue of what to do if I ever did get attacked. I thought it was somewhat necessary since I like to run at night. Just then Vincent takes several steps closer until he is standing right in front of me. "Don't say I didn't warn you when you're lying on the ground face down with my knee in your back, Slick."

  "I wasn't going to test the theory. I believe you. You seem like a smart girl. I don't think you would be out here right now if you couldn't handle yourself."

  As soon as he speaks the words I realize just how close he has gotten to my face. He slowly leans in and brushes my cheek with the back of his hand. I inhale a sharp breathe at the proximity of his warm body. I feel a hot flame on my skin that tingles all through my body. What the hell is this? I haven't reacted to a person of the opposite sex since Sam. Right now all I can think about is how close his lips are to mine.

  "Did someone hurt you?" His eyes are filled with so much concern as he studies my face.

  I immediately jerk away from him. It's like having a cold bucket of water dumped over my head. How dare he? He doesn't even know me. "That's none of your damn business. Why are you even out here? Are you stalking me?" He steps away from me giving my space back.

  "I actually think you're stalking me. See that small house on the corner? Well, I live there. So what are you doing in my neighborhood sweetheart?"

  "Ugh. Don't call me that. Like ever."

  "Well, you didn't want to toss me your name earlier so what else am I supposed to call you sweetheart?" There is a huge smirk on his face and I just want to smack it off. That's not true either. I kind of want to kiss him. OMG! I have got to stop thinking about him like that! Snap out of it!

  "It's Maggie but I suppose you already know that since you seem to know Sam."

  "I actually didn't know your name. I just knew you were Sam's ex. Sorry about the comment earlier. I really don't know anything about your relationship with Sam. I don't know the guy that well. I just do some work for his family and happened to see a picture of you at his house a couple of years ago. Well it's nice to meet you Maggie."

  "Ummm...it's nice to meet you too, Vincent. And I'm sorry for what I said about you robbing a bank. I'm usually not so temperamental. I was kind of short with you based on rumors. So... sorry."

  "I understand. Most people don't have a high opinion of me but I promise not to rob you."

  I actually laugh a little. It was kind of funny. Like I have anything worth taking. "Well it is getting late and I have to get up early for school. I guess I will see you around, Slick." I offer my own little smirk with the nickname I have coined for him.
>
  "Uh, okay. Do you want me to run with you back to your house or give you a ride? It just seems wrong to let you run alone this late at night. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you."

  "It's okay, really. I do this all the time. I appreciate the offer but my mother would never let me out of the house again if she saw some strange, older guy giving me a ride home or running with me. But thanks for the offer. Later Vince." Before he can respond I turn around and take off toward my house. I can't stop smiling. He actually seems really sweet. I might just have to get to know him better after all. I will have to keep things strictly platonic so I don't get too distracted from school. But I do think we could be friends at the very least. As long as I can control my raging teenage hormones.

  I finally make it home exhausted. I didn't get much sleep last night and it's already past 11:00 pm. I close the door quietly behind me because I don't see any lights on. I tip toe down the hallway, peak around the corner and can't believe my eyes. She is actually asleep. She is never asleep this early. Maybe my luck is about to change.

  I walk very softly to the kitchen and get a tall glass of water. I drink the entire glass then fill it again. I stand in our tiny kitchen replaying the entire conversation with Vincent. I'm glad he doesn't know anything about Sam. Or at least that's what he told me. For some reason I trust him. It just doesn't feel like he would lie to me. I actually have pretty good intuition about people. I think I get that from my Dad. He was a police officer for a reason. I think he was a good judge of character. Somehow that got lost on my mother. Why he ever got involved with her I will never understand. As much as I remember of him and what I know of her they never should have ended up together. I guess in the end they didn't. They didn't even last a year. They were polar opposites. She hasn't had a relationship last longer than 6 months ever since I've been alive outside of my father. When she does have a guy to distract her it's great. She really doesn't give a damn about me then and I have all the freedom I want. I wonder when she is going to meet the next guy. I hope it's soon because I could use a break from her. Although the break-ups are awful. It's like pure hell around here for weeks until she gets over it. I decide not to press my luck and chance her waking up so I head to bed. I fall asleep immediately. For the first time in weeks, I have a dreamless sleep.