by Mia Ford
21
Veronica
I blink my eyes open as light filters through the cracks in my eyes. For one glorious moment, I feel like I’m in my bed, back in America where I should have been all this time. I imagine Jordan is next to me with his arms tightly wound around me, and that we haven’t had even a scrap of problems. It’s all so wonderful. I must have been dreaming about it because the picture is crystal clear in my mind. I really don’t want to let it go…
Even less so when the pain radiates through my head from resting it on the hard rock of the ground. It’s a miracle that I’ve managed to get any sleep during the time I’ve been here – however long that might be – but I suppose that’s just because I’m so exhausted. Physically and emotionally. Being a prisoner in a terrorist camp is hell. It’s unpleasant, it’s uncomfortable, it’s fucking terrifying. I keep trying to think that I’m lucky. Aside from being forced to witness my friends all die and being forced to make the video, nothing too bad has happened to me. I haven’t been beaten or attacked like I thought I would. I assumed I might have to fight to keep my clothes on the whole time I’m here, but it hasn’t been that way. I haven’t had to defend myself at all. I’ve even been given water and scraps of things to eat along the way. My appetite just isn’t there, but I suppose I’m being taken care of. I just wonder why. What’s the purpose of keeping me here? Do they think I’m important? I want to let them know that there isn’t any government in the world who will pay a million dollars for me, but once they learn that then I’ll be disposable and they might just kill me. I don’t want to end up dead, not like this.
But then… would I be better off dead? I mean, I don’t know if anyone’s even seen that video yet. Maybe it hasn’t been distributed or no one’s seen it. If they have, I know nothing will happen. I won’t be saved. Maybe Christopher and the others are the lucky ones because their lives ended quickly. They won’t have this agony. Being alive is just prolonging the inevitable anyway, isn’t it? I should just give up and let them take me.
“Oh, Jordan,” I mutter to myself as I finally sit upright. My body is stiff, it hurts, but I can’t lie down forever. If I do, I know that I’ll never give up. I’m not quite at that place yet. “Oh, I miss you. I miss you so damn much.”
He’s the one person who’s keeping me going, despite the fact that he’s out there in the world hating me somewhere. His face, the love we once shared, that’s the only thing keeping me alive. I can’t help wanting to see him again, even if it’s impossible. Just to tell him that he was right. I shouldn’t have come. I should’ve listened.
When I remember all those times he yelled at me and I thought he was being stubborn, all the times I got mad because I thought he wasn’t listening to me… now I can see that he just had my best interests at heart.
I rub my hand up and down my arm, feelings the cuts and scars there. A lot of them have come from me catching myself on shards and rocks in here. Some were attained as the men brought me to this prison. I would’ve got more if I fought it, but I was too much in shock to battle them at all. I pathetically let them take me.
Seeing Christopher and the others die like that, I haven’t ever had an experience like that before and I hope I never do again. The blood and gore… I was so horrible. How can these people commit atrocities like this? I don’t understand these men, they’ve become like savage animals with no regard for human life. I’ve heard of it, it isn’t unknown, but seeing it is something else entirely. I want to go back in time and to tell Oliver to get lost. I knew this idea wasn’t a great one. Why did I get sucked in to what he wanted me to do? It isn’t fair. He’s the one at home in his cushy job, loving his life, and we’re the ones dead and trapped. He should be here.
I ball my fists up angrily by my side as I think about that. Anger is another place I keep going to. It’s an unhealthy emotion, but with my dry throat, my torn-up clothes, my ripped skin, and the emotional turmoil I’m going through, I can’t seem to help it. The negative emotions drive me. They keep me going.
I stiffen as I hear voices outside my cell. My entire body freezes while I wait to see if something is going to happen. Every moment of every day I expect them to come in with something to decapitate me. Fucking hell, who would have ever thought that I was in a position where my head is going to be sliced from my shoulders? I try to think of it in a detached way so it doesn’t consume me, but it’s hard. I keep imagining the agony in my neck. It’s got to hurt, there’s no way it won’t destroy me. It’s probably the worst way to go.
My ten-day deadline might be due soon too, I have no idea. It could even be today. Time blurs in here and I have nowhere near enough sleep to be sure. I slide my eyes closed and wonder what it’ll be like if this is it.
The cell door swings open and a dark shadow looms on the other side of the door. I scoot backwards like a scared little mouse trying to protect myself from the bird of prey, but of course, it’s pointless. There’s nowhere to go. Almost as an instinctive reaction, I open my mouth to say something, but my mouth is too dry. It’s been too long since any liquid has slid down my throat. As the guy moves closer to me I wonder if it matters.
He mutters something to me as he grabs me and drags me upright. My top rips just a little bit more, but that’s the least of my worries. My heart thumps painfully, my tummy aches with nerves, my lungs are empty.
This is it, I try to tell myself so I can get adjusted. No more worrying. It’s happening right now. I’m going to die. I tip my head upwards and think only of Jordan now. I love you, Jordan, I miss you so much.
I wish I could be granted the time to say goodbye to him, but time is gone. I have no more of it.
I’m taken into a room where I’m pushed to my knees once more. Tears fly down my cheeks, I give up trying to keep my emotion locked away when it’s all over anyway. I’ve already spotted the camera, I saw the familiar glow of it the moment I stepped into the room, which means my death will be publicized. I’ll become more famous than I’ve ever been before. The whole country will know my name, maybe even the world…
Unless this video is for nothing and it’ll join a whole load of other meaningless videos which go nowhere. I suppose that could be just as possible. Who knows what’s going on with these people. I don’t even want to begin to understand. I’m done, I don’t even want to think anymore. If I’m going to die I want it to just be.
I get a newspaper stuffed into my hands and another script in barely legible writing. The tears stream so fast down my face it blocks my vision. I can hardly read the words, but I suppose I’ll have to. My final speech. Whether someone sees it or not, it’ll be the last words ever spoken by me and it isn’t even my own words. I don’t even get to choose what I say. It really isn’t fair. That has to be the largest indignity of all.
I hear a gruff grunt and the man makes a signal with his hand which I suppose means it’s go time. No time to think it through, no time to get worried, we’re just going for it. It’s happening.
“My name is Veronica Best,” I rasp. “And six days ago,” Six days? Maybe I still have time after all. I really shouldn’t be so excited about four extra days in hell but I can’t help it. “I was captured while reporting in Afghanistan and now I’m… I’m a prisoner. If one million dollars isn’t paid in four days, I will… die.”
This is hopeless, absolutely ridiculous. It isn’t going to happen. What I should be doing is begging Jordan to come and see me one last time. But I suppose I don’t want him here near these people either.
“I will be decapitated as a symbol of…” Shit, I can hardly read the words. I squint my eyes and look so hard my eyes nearly pop out of my head. I have to improvise a little bit because it doesn’t make much sense. I think it’s been badly translated in places. “Of everything that is wrong with the Western world.”
I glance up once the words are spoken and stare into the camera lens imagining that I’m looking at Jordan for the final time. Maybe he’ll get that I’m trying to tell him go
odbye with my eyes. If he sees it.
Once the video is done I’m rewarded with a glass of dirty water which I suck down like it’s a damn oasis rather than something which will probably make me ill. It feels so terrible, yet incredible at the same time. It’s my life line which I suppose I’ll need if I’m going to make it through the next four days.
Who knows, I think helplessly to myself as I’m dragged back into the prison cell that I’ve only just left. Maybe some miracle will happen and I’ll be freed just in time. I don’t want to get my hopes up but I need something to rely on, something to day dream about to get me through this truly horrific time.
***
Time passes. I don’t know how much, it could be days, it could only be hours, but I feel myself growing delirious with hope as it ticks by. The idea which was only a dream not so long ago has become a solid wish that I can’t let go of. I become stupidly convinced that someone is coming to save me and I’ll be back home before long. I even think about what I’m going to say when I speak to Jordan again.
“I’m sorry,” I imagine myself saying into his chest as he holds me tight into his chest. “I will always listen to you in the future. I know now that you’re right. I should have seen that sooner…”
He’ll forgive me as well, I’m sure of it. It won’t matter to him that he can say ‘I told you so’. He won’t want to. He’s such a good man that he’ll be too concerned about making me heal. I will love him even more for that. And if I have to give up my career afterwards to keep him in my life then I will. After all, my job hasn’t come to my rescue. I’ve always needed it more than it’s needed me, and I don’t like being disposable.
In my career, I only mean a small part. To him, I’ve always meant everything.
We’ll make it work as well, because the both of us will stop heading into danger. We’ll make some serious changes so that we can actually have a life together. I know Jordan won’t mind after this. Something so dramatic has to be life changing, otherwise what’s the point?
Now, I just need my rescue to come so I can finally make that dream come true.
22
Jordan
“Where are they?” I yell to the intelligence officer. “I already know that you can pinpoint the location where this video was shot, so just tell me where it is already. I don’t want to have to threaten you.”
I’ve been acting like a crazy person ever since I got out of the infirmary but I have to. That time spent passed out was wasted. Veronica needs me and I’m going to get to her no matter what. No one will hold me back. Not even this jumped up desk jockey who won’t tell me anything for some crazy reason. He’s acting like I’m unstable, as if he can’t see that he’s the one making me feel that way. He’s driving me insane.
“I don’t know if I’m authorized to do that…” His words cause the intense anger to bubble painfully.
“Fuck what you’re authorized to do. This isn’t a normal situation here. This is the woman that I love and I need to rescue her.” I need to plead to the heart he must have I his chest. “Wouldn’t you do anything for your family? Wouldn’t you want to rescue the person you’re in love with if you could? Just help me, please.”
He uses his index finger to push his glasses up to the bridge of his nose and he blinks a few times in shock. “I would be tempted to, yes, but we all have to do what’s commanded of us, don’t we? We can’t all act on our own whims or this wouldn’t be an army. This would just be a bunch of people acting selfishly.”
I can’t help it. I swing my fist back ready to smack him right in his stupid face. How dare he suggest I’m acting selfishly, who the fuck does he think he is? I’m doing this for someone else. That’s the whole point…
“Miller.” My superior grabs my fist and holds it in the air. “To my office, please. We need to talk.”
I should be worried because I’m about to get a bollocking, but I can’t see it that way. My emotions for Veronica are stronger than anything I feel for work. It’s wild to think I once assumed that I needed an incredible job just to be good enough for her. We shouldn’t be defined by our careers. We should just be us. We sure as fuck wouldn’t be in this position if we had been. We’d be much closer to that dream we once had for a marriage, a nice house, and children running around our feet. Now that dream might be taken from us forever.
“Now.” Officer Hankly takes his seat and indicates for me to do the same. It pains me to take the command, but I do. “I understand you must be worried about the journalist who’s been captured. She’s your girlfriend, am I right in assuming that?” I nod dumbly. If he tells me now that I need to just forget about her then I will scream. “Well, the group that she’s been captured by, our people have a strong interest in. We’ve been tracking their movements as much as we can for a very long time, but this is the first time we’ve had a lead on them…”
My heart lifts. This all sounds very positive, like we might know where they are. “You know their location?”
“Yes, and I don’t want you to worry about it because I have a team in place to sort it out.”
I don’t feel comfortable with that. I don’t like the idea of Veronica’s life being in someone else’s hands. They might not care for her like I would. She might accidentally be killed in cross fire. That won’t happen under my command. It needs to be me who gets her, that’s just the way this has the has to be.
“I want to go,” I demand forcefully. “I need to be there for her. I want to rescue her.”
“Now, Miller, you know as well as I do this isn’t a place to be a hero,” Hankly shoots back just as firmly. “This isn’t a time for you to start acting crazy and throwing your weight around. This is a very delicate mission.”
I try to calm myself down because I know I need to seem very much in control if I have a hope in hell of him listening to me, Hysteria and a flaring temper isn’t exactly going to help me keep the respect that I need.
“With all due respect, Sir, I really do believe that I need to be involved with this. I have proven to you many a time that I can be trusted to take care of complex missions just like this one…”
“Yes, when you aren’t connected to it.” He shakes his head determinedly at me. “This is too much. You are too close to this one, you’ll lose your head while you’re out there and we can’t have that. I can’t have you and other good men killed. You need to keep away from this one. I know it’s hard for you…”
“Not hard, impossible!” I toss my hands in the air in frustration. “I can’t do it. You have to let me go, and we also need to stop wasting time. I need to be in Afghanistan now. Time is running out.”
“That’s exactly why it’s pointless for you to go. Don’t you see that? You’ll hold it up.”
“Not if you send me on an emergency transfer.” I know this is asking too much, I’ve already had more than enough from the military but I just need this one last thing. “I need to be there, you don’t understand. I’ve worked hard for you, I’ve always done what you’ve asked, I’ve led men. And now I need this.” I lean back in my chair while I try to gauge his reaction. It’s challenging. He doesn’t seem to be giving anything away. “I intend to go anyway. Whatever decision you make here, I need to be there. Please don’t make me be the bad guy.”
He wavers, but I don’t know how far he’ll tip over the edge. I hope and pray that it’ll eventually be in the way that I want it to go. I don’t intend to leave this office until I get the answer I want anyway and I can be pretty persuasive when I need to be. If a time has ever called for me to get my own way, this is it!
***
I glance around at the guys coming with me, feeling nothing but gratitude for them. Honestly, I love these men so much for agreeing to fly out on such a short term, dangerous mission, just for me. Especially Timmy. I assumed he was like me, never wanting to return to Afghanistan after what happened to his friend, but he’s come for me.
If I hadn’t managed to get anyone to agree, Hankly never would
have signed off on something that he was unsure about anyway, so I’m extra grateful. Now, I just hope that it all goes well. I’m pretty sure it will. Our determination and fresh eyes, combined with the guys already over there who know about this segment of scum bags should be a dream team. My main hope is that Veronica is kept alive for long enough so this works. There hasn’t been any news on her ever since that first video, but I have to keep hope. I need to believe she’s alive.
I fully intend to kill every fucker that’s even breathed near her as well. If any of them have even dared to touch her then I’ll make it slow and painful. The one who threatens her on the video… well my plans for him are going to hurt… a lot. Revenge won’t be sweet, none of this should have happened, but it’ll make me feel better.
“We ready?” Timmy asks. I nod and he indicates for the small jet to take off. “Are you ready?”
He knows as well as I do that it’s a completely different question. I nod again, even more certain. This might not be what I ever expected to happen, but this is what all the training was for. I’ve been working my body for years, making it the best that it can be, and it’s time to put that to good use for Veronica.
“Yeah, I think so.” I force out a smile. “Just about. I have to be, don’t I. She needs me to be ready.”
Timmy nods knowingly. “We’ll do what we can to get her back. Don’t you worry about that.”
You hold on tight, baby, I think silently, hoping that my message gets through to her. I’m coming. We all are. We’re coming to rescue you from this hell before those assholes do anything to harm you.