The Ongoing Reformation of Micah Johnson

by Sean Kennedy

  Unnerved at Micah’s silence, Will repeated himself, sounding even more stressed. “What do you want?”

  “Oh, you know us faggots,” Micah said breezily. “Cock.”

  “Fuck off.”

  “You said the magic word! Now you get a wish.”

  “Get out of my way.”

  “I don’t think that’s your wish.”

  “What are you saying?” Will was sweating profusely now.

  Micah was a little distracted by the track a drop of sweat caused as it ran down Will’s neck and along the centre of his chest. “It’s cute, the way you’ve been trying to get my attention. And I guess in this digital age, harassing me online is the equivalent of sending me notes or dunking my pigtails in the ink well.”

  “What fucking drugs are you on?”

  “I know it was you.”

  “Know it was me, what?”

  “Don’t act dumb. Well, I know with you it isn’t an act, but stop pretending you don’t know. You sent me those messages on Facebook.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Yeah, but I notice you’re not denying it. And your sending them makes you a homophobe.”

  “You make that sound like a bad thing,” Will scoffed. He grasped the towel tightly around his waist, as if he was scared Micah would yank it away.

  “I just wonder why you are, that’s all.”

  “Why I’m a homophobe? You need a reason? I can give you plenty.”

  “I don’t need you to tell me. I already know.” Micah closed in on him, invading his personal space so badly he could smell Will’s breath. Will was losing any pretence at swagger, all confidence leaching out of him.

  “Get out of my face.”

  “I don’t think so,” Micah told him. Their chests almost touched, close enough to feel the heat, and Will’s breath became even more ragged. “I think that’s it. You want me in your face.”

  “I’m not going to—”

  “You dream of it, don’t you?” Micah dropped his tone, becoming silky and seductive once more. It was such an easy act to put on. “Ever since you found out about me. You’re a self-hating homo, but you know you have no choice. There’s no cure. You’ll be gay forever. And I’m probably the only other one you know. So you have this silly little daydream that one day, after training, we’ll be alone in the change room, just like we are now, and you’ll see me admiring you. And you know what? I never did until today. But you are a good-looking guy with a hot body. So I can’t hide it.”

  Will was trembling now. Micah knew he was sliding into cruelty, because the guy looked like he was about to break down. He didn’t say anything; he no longer looked capable of it.

  So Micah pushed on. “Instead of being angry that the fag was caught looking at you, you’re flattered. And you’re starting to think, ‘Oh, I wish he would just walk over to me. I hope he sees the huge, raging boner I have and does something about it. That he’ll touch me.’”

  Will was a statue, unable to back away or protest. But Micah was getting the reaction he expected. If he looked down, he knew Will would be pitching a tent.

  “And then I do it. I approach you. I know what you want. And I want it too. After all, I already have the reputation. You know I’ve already sucked one willing cock in the change room, so what’s one more? And maybe I’m a little lonely too. After all, it’s been a while since a hand was on my dick that wasn’t my own. You’re practically panting now, as my hands brush against the towel you have wrapped around you.”

  And Will was. Micah’s hands were on Will’s waist, his skin bristling with static energy. For a fleeting second, he felt Will’s fingers brush against his navel, trailing along the edge of his boxers. Even though he knew it was all false, and wrong, he was a little turned on himself.

  “One little pull,” Micah murmured, “and it all comes away. And what have we here?”

  Will gasped as Micah’s hand found its rock solid evidence through the towel. He even closed his eyes in anticipation, but they flew open again when Micah’s hand drifted back up to his waist.

  “It’s just so disappointing, you know?” Micah said. “The one person who really singled me out for abuse happens to be doing it so no one will guess that he’s gay himself and is desperate that no one will ever find out, that it won’t ever be suspected of him. I mean, it’s such a fucking cliché. I would rather have you just be some irrelevant bigot, than someone to feel sorry for.”

  And before Will knew what he was doing, Micah undid the knot of Will’s towel, and it fell away.

  “Oh,” Micah said sadly. “Well, that’s even more disappointing.”

  He didn’t even see the punch that followed. But he felt it before he hit the floor and didn’t feel anything else from there on.

  Chapter 3

  HIS SURROUNDINGS had changed when he opened his eyes again. Micah instantly panicked, as the first thing he remembered was being practically naked when he was last conscious. But when he looked down at himself, lying prone in the school’s medical room, he was dressed in his footy gear, the now-dried mud flaking off and staining the white sheets. He was still barefoot, however. Who the hell had dressed him?

  Joanne and Rick stared down at him with worried expressions on their faces. As Micah shifted his head, which was pounding mercilessly, he could see Alex sitting across the room with Declan Tyler; both looked just as concerned.

  “Aunty Em,” Micah croaked. “I’ve had the strangest dream!”

  He could see Declan shake his head with exasperation. Alex grinned. His parents’ features, however, were in no way relaxed.

  “Are you in pain?” Joanne asked.

  “My head does hurt a little.”

  “You’re covered in blood, and your right eye is swollen,” Alex said matter-of-factly.

  “That must be why the room is so blurry.”

  “Did you do it?” his father asked.

  “What?”

  “Rick, this isn’t the time—” Joanne said.

  “They’re threatening to expel him!”

  “Expel me?” Micah asked. Then he settled down farther into the pillow. “If they have to, I guess, they have to.”

  “That’s your response?” Rick demanded. “That kid is saying you came onto him! Did you?”

  “Dad, do you really think I would do that again?” Micah knew he was fudging the truth a little, but it wasn’t like he really wanted to seduce Will. He just wanted to hurt him. Okay, maybe it wasn’t healthy, but it sure wasn’t the same situation that had made him move schools the time before.

  “Then what happened?”

  “We had a minor disagreement.”

  “Obviously,” Rick scoffed.

  “Maybe I should get going,” Declan said.

  “Thanks for coming in,” Micah said, touched that Dec was going to that much trouble for him. Then he remembered the conversation with Emma the day before about how he was always eating up Dec’s time. And breaking his heart because he was always stuffing up. She would have a field day when she found out about this latest saga.

  “Don’t worry, we’re going to have words.” But Declan smiled, possibly to placate him.

  Micah didn’t feel too reassured.

  His parents walked him out, and as soon as they were out of earshot, Micah waved Alex over. “Details! Now!”

  “Are you okay?” Alex asked.

  “No time! Tell me!”

  Alex looked towards the door, expecting his parents to come in any second. “Long story short? The coach came in to find you on the floor and Will standing over you.”

  “Um, was I dressed like this?” Micah asked.

  Alex looked at him suspiciously. “I guess so. Why?”

  “No reason.”

  “Oh, Micah, you did come on to him!”

  That sentence sounded strange coming out of his eleven-year-old brother’s mouth. “What? No, I didn’t! At least, not the way they’re obviously saying. I was on my way to the shower—”

  “
So who dressed you, then?”

  “I don’t know! Look, Alex—” Micah grabbed Alex by the shoulder and pulled him in closer. “You can’t tell Mum or Dad about that.”

  “You said you weren’t going to lie to them anymore!”

  “And you saw what Dad was like just then!”

  Alex sighed.

  “Don’t give me that look! I need you to cover for me.”

  “Don’t I always?”

  “Please, Alex!”

  “Fine, fine. But how are you going to find out what happened?”

  Micah shrugged and winced. Even shrugging hurt. “I don’t know just yet. So what happened after the coach found me like that?”

  “They called the nurse, and you apparently woke up.”

  “I did?”

  “Don’t you remember?”

  “Not a thing.”

  “You said that Will Smith hit you.”

  “What? The Fresh Prince of Bel Air?”

  “You obviously meant your team mate Will—”

  “You think?” Micah was truly perplexed. “But why would I say—I guess that doesn’t really matter.”

  “No. You’ve got other things to worry about.”

  “Continue.”

  “They thought you were fine, so they called us and Will’s dad. They’re with the principal right now. Dad’s wanting to call an ambulance, the police, and our lawyer. Did you know we even had a lawyer?”

  Micah did, actually. His dad had wanted to sue his last school for letting the details of what caused his expulsion get out to the public. Once again it looked like he would have to plead with his dad to stop his love of possible litigation. He meant well, but it was not the way to deal with these things. And after all, it’s not like they were bloody Americans.

  So there he was, in trouble again. Would he ever learn?

  Alex scrambled as the door opened and his parents entered, throwing himself back into his seat.

  “Declan is going to call you tomorrow when you’re feeling a bit better,” his dad said.

  Micah nodded. “I think we should go and see Mrs. Hin and sort this out.”

  “No,” his mother said. “You’re not up to it yet, and I want to get you checked out at the hospital.”

  “I’ll make a deal with you. I will go to the hospital, willingly, if you let me go and see the principal first.”

  “No deal,” his dad said while his mother said, “Deal.” They glared at each other.

  “While you two sort that out, I’ll get Alex to help me down to the office,” Micah said. He gestured at Alex, who gathered up his belongings and followed Micah out the door.

  It only took a few seconds for them to hear the raised voices of their parents as they argued yet again about their wayward son. Micah closed his eyes, guilt making him dizzy.

  “You okay?” Alex asked.

  “Yes. Let’s go.” Micah padded away on his bare feet, and Alex reluctantly followed.

  AS IT was almost five o’clock, the head office was empty. Micah was glad of that, as it meant they didn’t have to battle the dragons that normally manned the desk and used their power to prevent one from doing anything he needed to do, such as see the principal, stop a boy from being outed against his will, and prevent his father from serving a lawsuit against the school.

  Micah knocked on Mrs. Hin’s door, and Alex shot him a worried look.

  “Calm down,” Micah said. “I know this place like the back of my hand.”

  “If I have to come to school here, the teachers are going to hate me because of you, aren’t they?”

  “Don’t worry, you’re not going to end up here. I won’t let them send you to the two crap high schools I’ve ended up at.”

  The door opened at that exact moment, and Mrs. Hin peered out. She’d most likely heard him saying her school was crap, but all she said was, “Micah, I’m in the middle of a meeting.”

  Micah tried to open the door, but she stood firm.

  “I know. I just wanted to talk to Will.”

  “That’s not a good idea—”

  “Is that him?” a rough, male voice demanded.

  “Where are your parents, Micah?” Mrs. Hin asked.

  “Here!” Joanne yelled, sounding out of breath as she and Rick appeared behind their sons.

  Great. Micah tried the door once more.

  Mrs. Hin sighed and let it swing out into the room. “I guess we might as well talk this out together.”

  Micah entered the room first. Will was seated next to his father, staring at the ground and refusing to look at anybody as the room suddenly became very crowded.

  “I’m afraid there aren’t enough seats,” Mrs. Hin said.

  “Micah, honey, you take one,” Joanne said. “I don’t want you fainting after only just having awakened from a coma.” This was obviously said for the benefit of Will and his father.

  Micah rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t in a coma, Mum.” But he sat down to placate her.

  “Oh?” Joanne asked as she and Alex squeezed into the remaining chair, leaving Rick to stand. Will’s dad glared at them, one by one. “I think being knocked unconscious is pretty much the same thing.”

  “Anybody with a medical degree might not think so.”

  “So, what happened, Micah?” Mrs. Hin asked, putting an end to their argument.

  Will’s dad opened his mouth to speak, but Mrs. Hin held up a finger.

  “I’ve already heard Will’s version of events,” she said. “Let’s hear Micah’s.”

  “How can we trust anything he says?” Will’s dad glowered.

  “And your son, Danny Green, is he so trustworthy?” Rick asked.

  “Please, gentlemen,” Micah said as laid-back as he could. “I believe Mrs. Hin said it was my turn to speak.”

  At that moment Will decided to look up.

  Micah saw the panic in his eyes. It was the look of a boy who was terrified of his darkest secret being revealed. And with the dad he seemed to be blessed with, Micah could understand why. Mr. Deanes didn’t look like he’d be too welcoming of a gay son. Micah could only imagine the trauma that lay ahead for Will. This was a boy who was about to fall apart, and all the power lay in Micah’s hands.

  There was part of him that wanted to drag Will out of the closet, to punish him for harassing Micah for being exactly the same as him. The only difference was that Micah, despite all the crap he’d been through, was free to live his life. Will was trapped for the foreseeable future.

  “We had a few words on the field,” Micah said, “and I was pretty pissed at him.”

  “Can we please try and get through this without the swearing?” Mrs. Hin asked.

  What was it with principals and swearing? Swearing was nothing in comparison to laying someone out cold on the tiles, but whatever floated her boat. “Sorry. Anyway, when I got to the change room, Will was still there.” Micah was amazed at how confident he sounded. Should he be scared that lying came so easy to him? Or would it at least prepare him for a career as a used car salesman if he didn’t get drafted? “So I had a go at him.”

  Will’s head snapped up again. He was probably trying to guess Micah’s motives, but maybe he would never understand. It was like the conversation he’d had with Emma. Micah had been unwilling to think about the reasons why the other kid in his infamous outing incident let Micah take the blame for it and helped paint him as the predator. Well, there was another motive right in front of him—another scared boy with a domineering father who wanted the “perfect” son and would undoubtedly be disappointed with the one it would eventually be revealed he had.

  But he wouldn’t find that out today.

  “He shoved me,” Micah said. “So I shoved him back. Then I thought it was pretty ridiculous to be scrapping like kids, so I walked off.”

  Micah could tell his parents were staring at him, trying to figure out what his game was.

  “And how exactly did you come to be knocked out, then?” Mrs. Hin asked.

  “W
ell, it’s really embarrassing, but I tripped over my own feet and hit the ground. That’s all I remember, really. Pretty clumsy, huh?”

  “But Mr. Howard said Will admitted hitting you—” Mrs. Hin pointed out before Will’s dad jumped in.

  “The boy’s saying my son didn’t touch him. As far as I’m concerned, we’re done here.”

  “We are not,” Rick said. “My son is going to have to go to hospital to get checked out. He was out cold. There’s more to this story.”

  “No, Dad, there’s really not,” Micah said.

  Will’s dad was the epitome of smugness as he leaned back in his chair. “My son is innocent.” Will, however, looked like he was on the verge of tears.

  “What was he harassing you about?” Joanne demanded of Micah.

  “It’s just sledging,” Micah said. “It’s normal on the field.”

  “Was he being homophobic?”

  “So what if he was?” Will’s dad asked. “Nothing’s sacred on the field.”

  “That’s another issue,” Mrs. Hin said quickly, “and one that can be taken up with Mr. Howard.”

  “He wasn’t being homophobic,” Micah said. “Doesn’t mean he wasn’t a fucking idiot, though.”

  “Micah Johnson!” Mrs. Hin cried. “What did I tell you?”

  “Swearing is worse than punching somebody out?” Joanne asked.

  “It’s like I said before they came in,” Will’s dad said. “Boys will be boys.”

  “You’re so right, Mr. Deanes,” Micah said. “And it’s good we cleared it up here, rather than involve the police or child services.”

  Alex snorted, and when his parents turned to glare at him, he pretended to sneeze.

  “Besides,” Will’s dad continued, “we all know what that boy’s like.”

  Micah sat up at that and had to fight against the wave of dizziness that hit him. “Are you talking about me?”

  “Yes, what exactly are you getting at?” Joanne asked.

  “Everybody knows about his—” Will’s dad cleared his throat, flustered. “—reputation.”

  “Reputation for being gay?” Micah asked.

  “You’re treading on dangerous ground, mate,” Rick said.