Reed (A Redemption Romance Book 5)

by Anna Scott

  A sob caught in my throat as Reed made it to the bed, I heard the rustle of clothes just before he pulled the covers back and slipped in behind me, on my side, spooning me and holding me close. He must have heard me crying, and I hated that, but there was nothing for it now. I couldn't stop.

  "Shhh, precious, please don't cry. I'm sorry." He ran a hand up and down my arm and moved the other beneath me, cradling me against his solid chest.

  Shaking my head, I tried to speak normally, but couldn't, instead I croaked out, "I don't want you in here, I don't want you to see me like this."

  "I wish I could take all that back, sweetheart, I didn't mean to hurt you, you have to know that. I never want to hurt you. I love you, Gillian, you are my reason to change, my reason to start over with you. I hate that I put those thoughts, those doubts in your mind. Please believe me, baby, I love you and I'm here, I'll tell you everything."

  I sucked in a sharp breath and nodded, trying to hold myself together and listen. And so he did, he told me about Sandy, how they dated in high school and before he was deployed he asked her to marry him. He told me about the horrible letter she sent him while he was in the midst of hell and how she married the guy she had continually promised was just a friend. He explained how that had hurt him, how confused he was and that he took all the blame on himself, believing, falsely in my opinion, that it was him, his job, his deployment that had made her stray. Reed explained that while he was over there, he was lost and it was Nolan, Aurora's brother who helped him get his head on straight.

  If Nolan hadn't been there, hadn't helped him like he had, then Reed would have been a liability for his team and would have probably been killed and gotten other men killed because of his own distraction. All the guys gathered around him, lifted him up and helped him to move on, but he hadn't, not really. He had moved on with his life, but he never let another woman in, he held onto the pain, onto those seeds of doubt that she so carelessly planted. He never let another woman close enough to hurt him when she left and he just assumed that every woman would eventually leave.

  It was a long time before he started to go back even farther into his troubled history, he shared about his family and how they had been when he was little, but when his younger sister became sick with an aggressive cancer, no matter how much she fought, no matter how much they did to help her, she lost her battle and died just before he was twelve. They had lost everything, their ranch, their happy family, everything. Reed described his father was a shell of a man after his sister died, that he internalized everything, the loss of his livelihood, the loss of his daughter and blamed himself for not being able to protect her.

  The story of Reed walking in and finding his father with a gun made my stomach knot, but I stayed silent. He'd been talking for so long, spilling it all, I didn't him to stop, he needed to get it all out, to release all this pain and let me help him take it. I wasn't even sure if he remembered I was with him, lying next to him, but he was caressing the skin beneath my t-shirt over and over, but he'd been doing that so long, I didn't know if he realized he was even doing it. Was he taking comfort in me? I hoped so.

  "He looked me in the eyes, they were vacant, nothing was left, I could see it, like he was already gone, but he spoke. "My dad, who I had always admired, always looked up to, stared me in the eyes and told me that he was a failure, that he had failed his family, his little girl, all of us, he looked at me like that for a long time and I couldn't do anything. I wanted to run to him, to tell him that it wasn't true, that it wasn't his fault. We lost the ranch because of all the medical bills, it just took everything from us, but it wasn't his fault. I wanted to stop him, somehow, I knew my dad had given up. He lifted the gun, held it in his hand and glanced down, inspecting it for a minute, then looked at me again and said that he was sorry, but that mom and I were better off without him. He told me to do better with my life than he had, I didn't understand. He was the strongest person I knew, but I was frozen to the spot and I just stood there and watched as he raised the gun, put it into his mouth and kept his eyes on mine as he pulled the trigger. I remember the blast, remember the splatter on the white wall behind him, I remember it all, Gilli, it still haunts me. Why couldn't I stop him? Why didn't I say something? Why wouldn't my body work, I should have done something, but I didn't, like a coward, I stood there and watched the best man I ever knew die."

  I was crying silently, but with that, I blinked several times to clear my vision, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my cheek to his. "No, honey, no, it wasn't your fault, you were just a kid, it must have been terrifying, what could you have done?" I tried to soothe him, tried to convince him that he wasn't in the wrong, but even though he had wrapped his hands around my back and was holding me tight, I didn't know if I was getting through.

  "I couldn't save my dad, then in the Corps, so many died Gilli, right there in front of me, I saw them fall and I couldn't stop that either. I've killed, Gillian, I've killed the enemy. It was us or them and I killed them, twenty-seven men, twenty-eight lives mark my soul and you and Kelly, Gillian, can't you see, it's-"

  "No, it isn't. You said that it was you or them, it was war Reed, and you weren't responsible for me and Kelly being taken."

  "I should have been here, I shouldn't have fucked up and given you that damn space, I should have known about your fight with your parents, should have been here to protect you."

  He was so lost in his own grief and guilt, but I had to break through, I could hear the desolation in his words. Pulling my head back, I looked into his troubled eyes and saw tears glistening in them, it broke my heart and I knew that I needed to fight his demons and pull him back to me. "I love you, Reed. You're the best man I've ever known, you're giving, kinds and strong and I love you," I confessed just before my lips crashed against his.

  It took several seconds of coaxing before he joined in, there was no more talking, well not that kind anyway. We made love, passionately, kissing and stroking, loving each other, coming together and moving as one, comforting one another. It was a night full of emotions, the joining was so much more than anything that had come before, with our mutual confessions of love, it was so much more meaningful.

  "Don't ever leave me, Gillian, never leave me," Reed pleaded as we lay together in a tangled heap. His hand was entwined with mine, lifting it to his lips, he caught my eyes, seeming to beg me.

  "I never will."

  "Promise me," he said, it was more of a command than a request.

  "I promise, but you have to promise not to leave me either."

  "Never, you're going to marry me."

  A giggle escaped at his audacity, my self-assured man was back, after releasing all those horrible, painful memories, my man was back. "Am I?"

  "Of course you are." His roguish grin was wicked.

  "And when is this going to happen?" I sounded teasing, but I wasn't sure, was he really proposing to me right now or just telling me is future plans?

  "As soon as possible. Maybe this weekend."

  "Reed!"

  "What?"

  "Are you trying to ask me something or just demanding?"

  Pushing up onto an elbow, he looked down at me, swept the hair from my face and asked, "Gilli, will you love me forever, take my name, give me a house full of babies and promise to give me your succulent body everyday for the rest of my life?"

  My heart was racing, my nerves were shot and I didn't know how to answer him. Of course I would, I loved him, he loved me, but it was way too soon. "We've only been dating a few months, shouldn't we wait-" He stopped me with a single finger pressing against my lips.

  "I love you more than I ever thought was possible. If you love me half as much, it isn't too soon. There is more for us to learn about each other and we will, but we'll do that together, with rings on our fingers. Take my name, Gillian, let me adopt Kelly, let me make you fat as a house," he grinned and placed a hand over my flat stomach.

  I could see the uncertainty in his eyes, but t
here was nothing more for me to say, so I nodded, a tear escaping my eye and promised "I will, I'll marry you."

  "Thank God," he breathed, pulling me up, into his arms and loved me all over again.

  Chapter 14

  Reed

  Three days passed before I let Gillian or Kelly out of my sight. I knew I was being overly cautious, but didn't care. We needed this time together, as a family, to build our future together. Kelly seemed none the worse for ware, though she was more clingy than normal, which I figured was natural. Gillian on the other hand was skittish, jumping at everything. She'd broken into a cold sweat when we woke to the garbage truck out front. I held her as much as she'd let me, and generally just stayed close, but was pretty sure that she was on the edge.

  We had talked a little bit about the wedding, we had gone to see Luke and Aurora and I was so proud when I heard Gillian tell Aurora that we were engaged. Luke's grin and hearty pat to my back told me that he knew just how I was feeling. He was walking on cloud nine since his daughter was born. Kelly was enamored of the baby and I hoped that she would be just as excited when Gillian and I gave her a new little brother or sister.

  A light knock came at the door and I glanced up at Gillian and watched as her eyes widened with terror. She met my eyes, then took Kelly's hand and hurried back into our room. Our room, we needed to figure out something with this house thing. We were going to need a bigger place, and presently, we had two houses, so I needed to deal with that too. Whatever, the house wasn't important right now, what was important was my girl running from the room like the hounds of hell were at the door, scared of her own shadow. I understood it, but knew that I was going to need to get her some help, but that too would have to wait.

  Standing from the couch, where I had been folding laundry, I glanced toward the back of the house again, praying that Gillian didn't have Kelly hiding in the closet or something, my boss was being cool with everything, I was doing what I could to help remotely, writing reports and sending them in, but he was giving me some time off to be with my girls, but I couldn't take too much time, I knew that, but I was glad to have the few days I got.

  When I pulled open the door, I saw an older man standing on the porch, an old worn straw Stetson in his hand. He was looking down at his weathered boots and seemed nervous. Who the hell was this guy? When he lifted his head, I saw the shock in his familiar hazel eyes and knew.

  "Mr. Young?" I asked, though I really didn't need to.

  He looked at me, puzzled, but nodded. "Yes, and you are?"

  "I'm Reed Allen, Gillian's fiancé." Fuck, I liked saying that.

  His shocked eyes widened, not only did he not know me, but he didn't know his daughter was engaged. Yeah, it had just happened, but it was an indication of how little he knew his only daughter.

  "Fiancé?"

  "Yes, sir, can I help you with something?" As with most people, I towered over him. His shoulders were hunched forward, possibly from a life of hard work, but more probably from being beaten down by a despicable and hateful woman for the last few decades.

  I didn't know everything about what had happened between them, but I had been able to get enough, when Gillian told me about how her parents behaved at the cafe, how they came at her, said terrible and unforgivable things to her, it was enough for me to be wary of this man. She had loved him, had looked up to him, but in my eyes, he was weak. He hadn't stood up for his daughter, hadn't been the man he should have been with his wife and spoiled son. He allowed his wife to verbally abuse my girl her entire life.

  "I'd like to speak with Gilli, is she here? Is she okay?"

  "She is, she's going to be fine, but she isn't seeing anyone right now." It was a dick move and I knew it, Gillian was physically okay, but emotionally, God only knew. I wasn't going to push her into talking to this guy, and let him hurt her anymore. I saw him wince and nod in understanding, he knew that I was doing what he never had. Did he feel guilty? I didn't know and honestly, I didn't give two shits.

  "I - I didn't know," he looked at me with the weight of the world in his eyes.

  "Maybe not, but you knew enough and it was your responsibility to protect her, it was your job to provide her with a safe and loving home and you didn't do that."

  "So, you know then? Do you know everything?"

  Everything? Fuck, I really didn't know if I could handle whatever the everything was, but I shrugged, "I'm sure I don't, in time, she will tell me but right now, she's recovering from being kidnapped, drugged and frightened, it isn't the time to worry about the shit you let happen." My hard look was pointed, I was kicking this man when he was down, but too fucking bad.

  I had my dad on one hand, who did everything he could to protect my sister from a vicious illness, his hands were tied, he lost everything, including his own sanity, but he was strong, he was brave until the end, he had loved us and couldn't live with what he saw as his own failures. On the other hand, was this man, a father who sat by passively as his own wife spewed bullshit about my precious woman, who allowed her brother to treat her like shit, and whatever else. He hadn't done everything to protect her, he hadn't done anything as far as I could see.

  The man's face had gone pale, his eyes wide, I'd shocked him again. "Kidnapped?"

  "Yes, I believe that one of the officers contacted you that night to ask if you'd seen her, didn't you even come down here?" The specifics were hazy at best for me now, I had been in such a panic that my only focus had been on finding my girls, but I vaguely recalled Jake or someone calling this douche, I even thought I'd seen him, but couldn't remember for sure. Everything that night was such a blur of red hot anger and black fear.

  "Well, yes, but-"

  "But what? You were down here, so you knew we were looking for her, right?"

  "Yes, but I thought she'd just gone off somewhere, I didn't realize," he paused again, he did have a hard time getting a coherent thought out.

  "Christ, seriously? She's not an irresponsible twelve-year-old. Knowing her, she wasn't even irresponsible at twelve, the door was kicked in, there was evidence of a struggle and she and Kelly were both taken captive. It took hours to get an idea of where they were, and that was just a hunch, it took more than twenty hours before I held them, before I knew they were safe."

  Sheepish? Really, that was the look he was going for now? Damn, I had zero respect for my future father-in-law, but on the bright side, I didn't think that we'd have much to do with them.

  "I didn't realize."

  "Yeah, seems like that's a common theme for you. Maybe you should have pulled your head out of your ass twenty years ago and been a father." I was so pissed, I slammed the door in his face and wondered how the hell I was going to confess to Gilli about what I'd just done. Whatever, it sucked, I'd tell her that he came by and let it go from there, but I had a feeling that I needed to get to the bottom of this shit with her brother. I had an idea now, if her brother was mean to her, he probably saw Gillian as competition for her father's affections, the son was close with the mother - if you could call her that. The son must have ruled that roost with the mother allowing it. The father never stood up and took his rightful place in the family, he didn't raise his children with strength and integrity with his wife, side by side, he cowered and allowed his bully of a son to do whatever he wanted.

  Shaking my head, and trying to rid myself of the anger coursing through my veins, I started walking toward our room. I heard Blazer bark happily, so at least Kelly wasn't in the closet with Gillian, they were in there playing with the dog. Gilli's cell rang on the counter, so I snatched it up and answered. It was Miranda. That was another thing to consider, she was going to start working with Miranda at the horse ranch, which I thought was fucking awesome, but it would be good if we were closer to them. Walking into the room, I handed Gillian the phone and watched her eyes light up as she took it and began to talk about work the following week.

  She was going to be all right. I was going to see to it. Gillian, Kelly and I were going
to make it, we were going to find our way and soon, hopefully we'd all be the Allen family, with more on the way.

  Epilogue

  Kelly

  "Dad, please. I'm sixteen, it's just a dance." I was whining and I knew it. Dad hated it when I did but he also couldn't resist giving.

  "Young lady," dad started, but he was interrupted by my sister. She was four years younger than me, but man was she stubborn. She didn't have any fear of dad either, no matter how mad he got at us, she stood toe to toe with him every time. Mama said she didn't know where Adi, short for Adrianna got her guts. If I were honest, I didn't either.

  "Dad, knock it off," Adi told him, hands on hips with her foot cocked out to one side. I knew this was going to be all kinds of bad. Dad didn't appreciate her 'tude, as he called it. "You can't make us stay babies forever you know. You have to let us grow up and date and stuff."

  "Adrianna, stay out of this. You're not going to start dating boys at sixteen either." His frown was enough to make me take a step back. He'd never hurt any of us, he loved us all like crazy, but man when he got mad he could roar like a lion.

  "Don't need to start, I've already got a boyfriend," Adi announced, a smirk on her sassy face. 'Oh crap,' I thought, just waiting for dad to lose his mind.

  I did step back when I noticed the tips of his ears get bright red, his lips firm into a thin line and his eyes narrow on my little sister.

  "Adrianna Nicole Allen, you do not have a boyfriend. You are way too young for that kin of nonsense."