All Things Zombie: Chronology of the Apocalypse

by Various Authors

  "Which drug store?"

  "I don't know. I'm just telling you what Mike said."

  Tapping my eraser on the table, I thought out loud. "Okay, we have to be smart about this. We have to reasonably expect that we're still susceptible to the virus, unless it proves otherwise. What do we need to do to prepare ourselves in case it does affect us again?" Grabbing a legal pad, I flipped to a clean page. "Come on, Todd, snap out of it. Who knows how much time we have? Work hard, not smart." I frowned. "Wait, reverse that. Smart, not hard." Shit, either all this cramming for finals is getting to me, or I'm foggy with the virus.

  Todd stared into space. "Smart, not hard. Right." His attention snapped back. "This sucks, dude. We're going to need Spam, and lots of it."

  My stomach flip-flopped at the thought. For some reason, the last time this virus took over, the only food the zombies could tolerate was Spam. We'd joked about there really being brains in it. Thinking back on that conversation, I still couldn't come up with any other reason.

  Tuning back in, I realized Todd was rattling off things for the list. I scribbled fast to catch up. "We also need a car, gas, and a way to get all of that to a remote island until this all blows over."

  I stopped writing and rolled my eyes. "Dude, think about it. If we turn, being on a remote island is the last place we want to be. We're going to The Pharmacy."

  "Oh. Yeah. Good point. Wait, we're going where? Didn't you just hear me say the pharmacy is out of shots?"

  Looking around to make sure no one could overhear our conversation; I leaned across the table and lowered my voice even more. "Not that pharmacy. The Pharmacy. It's, um, sort of an underground meeting place for the students who are majoring in chemistry. Merlin, you know him right? He's a chem major and told me about it once after class a few weeks ago, invited me out. I went, and it was sorta cool, the way they had it all set up with a lab and everything. I figure if anyone can get a handle on what's going on, they can."

  "Is that around here somewhere? I only know Merlin by sight. We're not friends or anything. That's crazy, dude, an unauthorized lab for the chem students."

  "Crazy or not, that's where we're going. It's in Aspen Grove. Let's get supplies and I'll show you where it is."

  "Yeah, alright. Car. Gas. Spam. Road trip. Probably better grab some regular food, too. In case we don't turn. Or until we do."

  "Right. That's what I said. Weren't you listening?" Todd watched a girl walk past the window in that jerky, disjointed way he himself had walked less than a week ago. "Big O… man, look."

  Looking up from the list, I looked where he pointed. Outside the nearest oversized window was a small park with a jogging track around the edges, and a sidewalk right outside the building. "What? Her? That's Carol. She was in one of my classes last year. What about... crap. She's lurching. It's true then. We gotta go."

  Jumping up, Oscar pulled his backpack out from under his chair and shoved his books in. Todd followed suit.

  "You have a car, right?" Some students didn't have their own vehicles here, since they lived on campus and everything was within walking distance. Parking passes were expensive for those who wanted to keep their vehicle in one of the nearby garages.

  "Yeah. It's by the Quad."

  "I'm going to grab a couple changes of clothes and a can opener from my room. Meet you back here in ten?"

  "Yeah, okay. Me too. Ten."

  Jogging back to my dorm room, I thought back over the last twelve hours. Is Todd in shock or already affected? Nothing he did during the all-night study session was off-base, was it? What about me? Have I been acting strangely? I don't feel feverish or sick. Last time I was sick first. What caused it then? Nobody ever said. Shit, we could be on borrowed time already. How the hell am I supposed to know?

  Tossing my backpack on my bed, I spotted the canvas handle of a duffle bag sticking out from underneath. Bigger is better, right? I smirked.

  Flinging back the shower curtain that covers the closet, I pulled jeans, socks, boxers, and shirts from hangers and shelves, shoving them into the bag. On the shelf was also a box of snack foods, which got dumped in on top. My roommate, Stu, always left his hockey stick standing in the corner. Tossing that next to the bag, I moved to the desk and rummaged through the mix of miscellaneous stuff in the drawers for the can opener. In the same drawer was a miniature first aid kit that might come in handy, and was thrown in as well. By the time I'd finished, it took some serious wrangling to get the zipper closed. Slinging it over one shoulder, I grabbed the hockey stick, left the room, and made my way back to the library. At this point I probably looked like I was turning, with the lopsided way I'd been walking. Plopping down on the front steps, I relaxed and waited for Todd.

  April in Oklahoma was a great time to be outside. Well, most of the time anyway. As long as there wasn't a storm or a tornado. Today was sunny and mild, perfect for short sleeves without a jacket.

  A couple walked together, holding hands, across the street in the park. There was a woman sitting by herself on the bench, book open on her lap, and a group of guys in the middle of a game of football. None of them looked affected. Except maybe the woman on the bench...she seemed to be staring at the book without turning a page.

  Before I had too much time to think about it a black 4x4 pickup truck pulled up. Its windows were tinted almost black, and in the truck bed, against the back window, was a roll bar topped with fog lights. The passenger window rolled down and Todd called out for me to jump in. Opening the door, I slung the duffle bag on the floorboard and the hockey stick over the back of the seat then hauled myself up and in.

  "Nice truck," I said. Black leather bucket seats, chrome accents everywhere, and so many knobs and buttons it resembled what I imagined a spaceship might look like.

  "Thanks. It was a graduation — slash — birthday gift from my parents. They are so proud that I got this scholarship. I hate to let them down so I'm studying my ass off. Between that and football practice, this truck doesn't leave the garage very often at all." Todd looked away, embarrassed by the overshare. He cleared his throat. "So, anyway, there's a full tank of gas in this thing. Food first?"

  The man code says in situations like this, where one guy shows emotion, they both ignore it as if it never happened. Also according to the code, I looked at the list I'd written instead of Todd. "Yeah. Probably should get a flashlight and batteries, too, yanno, just in case. And matches."

  They took off out of the parking lot. "A flashlight and batteries? Are you expecting the power grid to go dark or something? Dude, you read too many books."

  "You can't be too careful." With that, I fastened my seatbelt. "Did you see any people-people on your way, or zombie-people?"

  Todd turned left at the light before answering. "Saw mostly people-people. A few zombie-people, maybe. Couldn't tell for sure... they could have been people-people with hangovers, or maybe they were up all night cramming for finals like we were. What about you?"

  "About the same. Didn't see many people at all, come to think of it. It didn't hit me as strange until now. There were a few people in the park that looked normal. Except maybe one, I don't know for sure."

  They pulled in to the grocery store parking lot. There were three cars off to one side, and a small transport bus with the local assisted living facility logo on the door. They sat in the truck for half a minute, looking around at the total lack of movement.

  "Very strange. I don't see any people at all now. People-people or zombie-people." Todd's head turned back and forth as if he were watching a tennis match.

  A low, unidentifiable sound caught my attention. Waiting, wanting to hear it again, I leaned closer to the window and rolled it down a fraction of an inch. "Listen."

  "To what?" Todd whispered, straining to hear anything at all. As if in answer, a metallic clang drifted in the window on the slight breeze.

  "That."

  "What is it?"

  "Sounds like someone banging on a pipe...somewhere." Unfastening my seatbe
lt, I turned around and slid open the back sliding glass window, too. "I can't tell where it's coming from."

  "What the –" Todd stopped mid-sentence, not sure how to express what he was seeing. "Dude, look at the roof."

  "The roof? Where? I don't see anythi – is that a kid? And a zombie?"

  Todd was already out of the truck and running toward the store. "Come on, we have to do something," he yelled over his shoulder, not waiting to see if I was following or not.

  Like a bad movie, I hopped down out of the truck and tried to catch up. I'm not an exercise genius; not even close to it. What made matters worse was I'd wound up hanging out with the kicker for the school's football team, making it seem like I'm slower than I really am. Which, of course, I was paying for now by losing sight of Todd before I even made it halfway to the front doors. Rule number one, cardio, my subconscious devil voice mimicked a famous zombie movie phrase. Oh, shut up, my live-and-let-live other voice in my head said.

  It only took a few seconds, but by the time I made it inside the store Todd was long gone. Stopping to look around, I took a minute to take stock of the situation. Everyone seemed to be long gone, not just Todd. Not a cashier, customer, or runaway toddler in sight. "Hey, where'd you go?"

  "Back here, in the store room," his voice drifted out. "Found the ladder, hurry up."

  I jogged down the middle aisle, circling a half-full shopping cart and an upside down milk crate where an employee had apparently been stocking from the carton next to it, and rounded the end of the aisle. Two aisles further on, the swinging metal doors leading to the employee-only area were on the left. Ducking through, I saw Todd by the bottom of a metal rung ladder attached to the cement wall near the back corner. He looked at me, then returned to looking up through a hole in the ceiling.

  "Looks like this is it." He climbed that ladder like a spider monkey and was gone from sight again.

  I shook my head and followed, albeit slower than he did. This is ridiculous. I'm getting a gym membership when this semester is over, I told myself. Sure you will... my devil voice countered. If it'll shut you up, I'll get a trainer too, I shot back. He stayed quiet. Good.

  At the top, there was a catwalk and another ladder that looked like it led to the roof. Great. A pair of shoes and the bottom edge of jeans were visible; the rest of the person was through the hole. One at a time, the shoes disappeared. I climbed the ladder, not entirely sure I wanted to be on the roof of the grocery store, especially if there was a zombie. Not seeing any other choice, I followed.

  When I stuck my head through the open hatch, I couldn't believe my eyes. Todd had a zombie in a headlock and the other person, who wasn't a child but a small adult woman wearing a smock and a nametag, was pointing her finger in the zombie's face and giving him what for.

  "You are not supposed to try to eat my brains, Brian, I've told you that twice already. You almost fell off the roof! Look what you did to the gutter. It's practically hanging on by one bolt. If you would have just waited a minute and let me finish my sentence, none of this would have happened and you wouldn't be in a headlock now by this nice gentleman." She looked up at Todd and smiled. "Thank you."

  "You're welcome." Todd looked over at me. "Dude, about time you got here."

  The woman's gaze found me and my heart skipped a beat. She was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Was that a halo around her head?

  Apparently she was instantly smitten, as well, because she walked slowly over to where I was frozen on the ladder, and she smiled at me. A seventy-five watt smile that melted my heart and turned my brain to mush. Mush brains. Zombies. About the time my thought process jump started and circled back around to why we were here in the first place, Todd's voice broke through as well. "Oscar? Hey, man, want to find the Spam aisle and get this guy some food? He's trying to take a chunk out of my arm."

  "Spam? Aisle three." Her nametag said Asia, but her voice was that of an angel. She smiled at me again and I felt my heart slam against the inside of my chest.

  "Thank you," I said to her, not sure if I meant for what she'd said or for the reaction she'd caused in my body, which I suddenly realized also affected something lower than my chest cavity. Embarrassment crept up, turning my neck and face red. I'd never been more thankful that my lower half wasn't visible than I was right this minute.

  "Dude? You okay over there?"

  "Oh. Right. Yeah, be right back." I descended as quickly as possible back into the store, partially to get the Spam, mostly to get out of sight before she realized the full extent of the effect she had on me.

  Aisle three was on the other side of the store, thank goodness. It gave me a little longer to talk myself down from a ledge, or the part of me that currently resembled a ledge. Once I found the correct aisle, I noticed there were shelves and shelves full of Spam; way more choices than I remember there being. They probably all had brains in them, but to be sure I grabbed the original variety.

  Taking my time, I found the aisle with the plastic utensils and grabbed a package before heading back to the ladder and up to the roof.

  "Took you long enough." Todd's voice was disembodied. The trio had migrated while I was gone; he obviously couldn't see me, either, and said, "Over here, other side of the air conditioning unit."

  When I crossed the roof and was able to see him, I still wasn't sure what I was looking at. He now had the zombie laying on the rooftop, face down, with his legs bent at the knees and folded up. He straddled Brian the Zombie, sitting on his bent legs, effectively pinning him down, and was holding his arms behind his back for good measure.

  "Really?" was all I could come up with on short notice.

  "Hey, he's a slippery one. Managed to get away from me and ended up over here before I caught him again. And this, for your information, is called the pretzel hold. I learned it from my mom. She used to hold us like this when we were kids, when we weren't listening to her. When she'd had enough. Now I know why... it's easier to keep control."

  Brian wiggled, trying to get free, to no avail.

  "Okay then." Holding the can, I opened the lid and took it over. "Here." Setting the can down, I ripped open the plastic bag and pulled out a fork and knife. Cutting the slab of gelatinous goo into chunks, I grabbed a handful of Brian's hair and held his head still, then forced the first chunk in. His teeth bit through the tines of the fork, snapping them off like tiny little toothpicks. Reaching back into the package, I pulled a spoon free this time and fed more Spam to him.

  "He seems to like it." I'd forgotten Angel – uh, Asia – was up here with us. The sound of her voice brought every nerve ending to life.

  It was Todd's turn to say, "Really." The smirk on his face told me he was up to speed on what was going on.

  I pointed the spoon at him. "Shut it," I said.

  Brian promptly shut his mouth.

  "Not you," I told him, "you eat this."

  Either through misunderstanding or sheer stubbornness, he clamped his mouth shut tight. Grabbing his jaw, I tried to force it open with pressure. It didn't work; he shook his head and mumble/growled through closed lips. I didn't want to get my fingers any closer to his mouth or inadvertently stick my fingers in it; what other option did I have? He flung his head violently to the side and knocked the Spam from the spoon.

  Dropping down beside me, Asia put her face close to Brian's. "Knock it off. They're trying to help you. The least you could do is let them."

  The tone of her voice must have convinced him, because he grudgingly opened his mouth. I scooped up another bite from the can and fed it to him.

  "Chew it and swallow." Her eyes narrowed and she pointed her finger at him. "I mean it. Now."

  I don't know whether it was her tone of voice, inner strength, ability to roll with whatever happened, or what, but I was even more attracted to her now.

  "When we pulled up, the parking lot was nearly empty, and there wasn't anyone manning the cash register or shopping, and the doors were open. Why isn't anyone in the store?" This
had been bugging me since we'd arrived.

  I fed Brian another bite, and after he took it Asia checked at her watch. "We don't open for another ten minutes. Brian and I were scheduled to come in and stock before we opened."

  "Oh. Gotcha. What time is it?" It had slipped my mind that Todd and I studied through the night at the library. I never even thought about it being too early.

  "7:50 a.m."

  "It's going to be a long day, dude," I said. Todd nodded.

  After several bites, Brian stopped trying to escape and opened his mouth like a baby bird for each spoonful. Todd loosened his grip.

  "So, what were you guys doing on the roof?"

  "Oh, this is where I like to take my lunch break. The boss has a habit of asking us to do one little thing, then another, while we're on break so we don't really get a break, so I hang out up here where he doesn't come looking. It's quieter, most of the time. Brian is my little brother. He started here last week and was complaining about Mr. Parkinson having him work through his breaks, so I showed him. We were up here already when he...became this. What's wrong with him?"

  "He, uh, caught a virus. Probably."

  I fed the last chunk to Brian, who now had a smile on his face. He closed his eyes and let out a fart.

  "Oh, man," Todd couldn't get away from him fast enough. The cloud of stench was obnoxious. I scrambled backwards toward fresh air and waited. For what, I wasn't sure.

  "What happened last time, when we were, uh," I almost said 'zombies' but didn't want to freak Asia out. Instead, I changed it to, "infected?" My voice sounded like it does when I have a cold; probably because I was pinching my nose closed.

  "Everyone passed out, remember? I passed out, too, I think. Woke up in the clinic with a massive headache."

  "Oh yeah. I remember that. So, Brian should be passing out soon."

  "With any luck." Asia added, her own nasally voice chiming in. "This happened to you guys already?"