Better With Butter

by Victoria Piontek

  I pat Butter and think of all the things that could go wrong. But I’ve been trying to master my worry and go with the flow.

  Theo and I head to a quiet part of the stage, and I teach him the command. “Think you’ve got it?”

  Theo nods. “Yes, but don’t you think it would be easier if you just played Peter? He doesn’t say much. He mostly wanders around and calls to the goats. It’s boring. Personally, I’d rather be Aunt Dete. She’s the villain and has the best lines.”

  He’s been saying this same thing to me about a hundred times a practice, but I don’t think he’s looking at it the right way. “But you get to be with Butter. She’s essentially the star. Mercedes planned the whole play around her.”

  “Exactly! I don’t want to be upstaged by a goat!” Theo says.

  “Theo! Seriously?” I laugh. I can’t even begin to relate to him. All I want to do is hide behind Butter.

  “Places, people. We’re starting the scene from the top,” Mercedes says.

  Theo, Butter, and I go back to the stage wings and wait for our cue. “Marvel, let Theo take this one.”

  “This is a cold run. Butter hasn’t practiced it before. Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Theo calls to Mercedes.

  “Yep, all good. Let’s go, people,” Mercedes says.

  I’m not sure it’s a good idea either, but I hand Theo the leash.

  When the cue comes, Theo and Butter walk out.

  Jamie sits on what is supposed to be a boulder, but it’s really a stool created to look like a rock thanks to some theater-set magic. When Theo and Butter get to him, he scowls. Since grumpiness is part of Grandfather’s character, it’s hard to tell if he’s acting or hating on Butter.

  Jamie says his lines.

  Addie says hers.

  Jamie says his next line.

  Then it’s time for Butter’s new trick.

  Theo gives her a light tap on the tip of her nose and points to Jamie.

  She jumps up and puts her hooves on his chest.

  Jamie FREAKS OUT. “Ugh … get it off me!!”

  Startled, Butter jumps back, freezes up, and falls over. Her legs stick straight out.

  Jamie throws down his cane, rips off his wig, and stomps off the stage, yelling, “I DO NOT WORK WITH ANIMALS.”

  Mercedes pole-vaults onto the stage. “Oh no. Butter. I’m so sorry.”

  I run out to Butter and reach her just as she scrambles to her feet.

  Mercedes takes Butter’s face in her hands and attempts to examine her. “I didn’t think he’d react that way. Do you think she’s okay?”

  Butter pulls away from Mercedes and trots to my side. She seems more annoyed by Mercedes’s inspection than Jamie’s outburst. I bend down and put an arm around her. “She’ll be okay.”

  Mercedes looks into the curtain wings where Jamie stands pouting. “That’s good. I should probably go deal with Jamie.” She walks away, muttering something about actors that I can’t quite hear.

  Theo rubs Butter’s nose. “I’m sorry, Butter.”

  “It’s not your fault. You did everything right. It’s him.” I glare at Jamie.

  Theo looks at Jamie too, only his expression is wistful. “Maybe I should have that role. It’s a meaty part, and I’d get to be creative with the makeup to make myself look like an old man.”

  “But what would Butter do without you?” I ask in an attempt to keep Theo interested in the role I need him to play.

  “Turn to you, her person,” Theo says, trying to hand me the leash.

  I push the leash back toward him. “You just need to spend more time with her. She adores you.”

  “Maybe.” Theo’s apathetic tone makes me nervous, and I decide he really does need to spend some one-on-one time with Butter to get psyched up about being her handler.

  “Watch Butter for me, okay?” Before he can argue, I shove the leash at him and walk away through the backstage area and out the door.

  I don’t have anywhere to go, but I want to him give him time alone with Butter so they can bond. I stand outside the door for about fifteen minutes, giving Butter and Theo a heavy dose of quality time. Maybe if I do this every practice, they’ll be good buddies by opening night.

  When I get back, Mercedes marches toward me, looking really annoyed. “We need to talk. Privately.”

  Maybe I was gone too long.

  She takes my arm and pulls me aside. “I need you to play Peter.”

  I’m stunned by her unexpected pronouncement, and my stomach rolls with fright. “What? Why?”

  “Butter. She’s not going to work for anyone else, and she’s harassing everyone. Look at her.”

  I thought Butter and Theo were bonding. I search the auditorium for her. She’s not with him. Instead, she’s roaming around nibbling on anything and everything, including people’s hair and their scripts. It’s surprising how comfortable she’s gotten with the kids in such a short period of time.

  “Sorry, I thought Theo had her. He needs to be more invested in her if he’s going to be her onstage handler. You should probably talk to him.”

  “That’s part of the problem. Theo really wants a better part, and I want to give him one. He’s been looking forward to this play all year. It’s not fair to make him stand in for you because you’re afraid.”

  I glance over at him. He’s staring at Mercedes and me. When he sees me looking at him, he quickly turns his head.

  “Look, I get it,” Mercedes says, drawing my attention back to her. “Stage fright is real. All the best actors experience it.”

  Out of nowhere, my eyes sting with tears. Hearing Mercedes acknowledge my stage fright instead of telling me it’s all in my head, and making it seem normal instead of freakish, is so caring and accepting that it bowls me over.

  Mercedes takes both my hands in hers. “If you do this, you’ll have me as your director and Butter onstage with you the entire time. You’ll have each other. What do you think?”

  “Maybe Theo just needs a bit more time to adjust to the idea?” I sneak a peek at him.

  “He really doesn’t want to do it. If you agree to this, he can be Aunt Dete. You know he’s dying to play the villain. But the only way he can is if you agree since Peter and Aunt Dete are onstage at the same time. And Kylie would love to get out of playing Aunt Dete. She hates the idea of being the meanie. You’d make them both happy.”

  I pause, thinking.

  “Besides, even though Peter is onstage quite a bit, he only occasionally yells Heidi’s name. You can totally handle it,” Mercedes says.

  I don’t want Theo or Kylie to miss out on their chance to have the role they want because of me, but Mercedes is asking too much. I shake my head. “I can’t.”

  “Please. All of us believe in you and will help you every step of the way. You also have Butter.” Her brown eyes beg me to change my mind, and I really want to make her and the rest of the kids happy.

  I bite my bottom lip, considering her words. Even though I’ve been petrified I’ll freeze up again, things are different now. When I did my Famous Californian presentation, I didn’t have Butter, Dad home, or friends. Everything has changed since Butter came into my life. And I’ve changed. With her by my side, I’m different. Maybe the play will be different too. Before I fully realize what I’m saying, the words slip out of my mouth. “I’ll do it.”

  “Great!” Mercedes hugs me.

  Theo joins us. “She agreed?”

  “She did,” Mercedes says.

  Theo throws his arms around me too, mushing us into a three-person hug.

  “What’s going on over here?” Addie asks.

  “Marvel agreed to be Peter!” Theo says.

  “Wow. About time.” Addie nudges me. “Wait until Jamie finds out. He’s going to have a major temper tantrum.”

  Mercedes rolls her eyes. “Don’t even get me started.”

  Theo hugs me again. “Thanks, Marvel.”

  I smile. “Sure. But if I can’t get the words out on open
ing night, it will be up to Addie to wing it and cover for me.”

  “No problem. I got your back.” Addie gives me a fist bump.

  “All right. Enough of this,” Mercedes says, getting back to business. “We have work to do. Peter. Heidi. Go work with the goat. Aunt Dete. You have lines to memorize and blocking to learn.”

  “Yes,” Theo says, and victory-punches.

  After play practice, Addie catches up with me. “Mind if I walk home with you?”

  “Not at all!”

  “I can’t believe Jamie scared Butter. Do you think she’ll do the kissing trick again?”

  I stroke her ears. “Eventually. She’s a smart girl, and she doesn’t seem to let stuff faze her.” I could take a lesson or two from her.

  Addie strokes Butter’s other ear. “I’m really glad you decided to play Peter. We’ll get to be in a ton of scenes together, and it will be super fun.”

  I nod and start to regret my hasty decision. Hanging out with Addie will be fun, but the idea that I have to be in a ton of scenes makes me queasy.

  We get to my house, and Addie stops at the fence. “Would you help me run lines tomorrow before school?”

  “Sure.” I open the gate and walk through. “I’d love to.”

  Addie hangs over the fence to give Butter some extra pets, and Butter jumps up to get closer to her.

  “Thanks for walking home with us.”

  “I like hanging out with you,” Addie says.

  I’m surprised by her response. Addie has so many other friends. “I like hanging out with you too.”

  Butter bleats at Addie, and I laugh. “I think that means she also likes you.”

  “Well, that’s good because I like her. See you in the morning.” Addie waves and heads home.

  As I watch her go, I realize I have something I’ve always wanted. A best friend.

  During play practice, I help Addie run lines away from the main group, which is awesome. I’m reading Peter. He really doesn’t have too many lines. He only has one scene where he says something other than Heidi’s name, but it’s still a huge amount of pressure.

  “You’re really good, Marvel,” Addie says. “I keep forgetting it’s you talking and not Peter.”

  “Thanks.” I’m surprised at how much I like rehearsing. It’s easier being Peter, the character, than it is being me. When I’m reading lines, it’s like putting on a mask and Peter’s nothing like me. He’s brave and outgoing and doesn’t let anything worry him. The only thing Peter and I have in common is our love of goats.

  I’m having so much fun with Addie, I’m starting to think I might possibly be able to manage this new role. The weirder part is how much I want to try it. I’d love to show Dad what I can do before he has to leave again. I only wish I could get over the waves of nausea that overtake me every time I think about actually doing the show instead of just practicing for it.

  Addie rolls the script up in her hands and pretends to be the mean grandfather. She delivers a line and fumbles it badly.

  I try not to laugh, but I can’t help it.

  Addie starts to crack up.

  It’s not even that funny, but we can’t stop laughing.

  Mercedes spots us goofing off and hurries over. She runs a VERY tight ship. She puts her hands on her hips and scowls. “What’s going on over here?”

  This makes me and Addie laugh harder.

  “What’s so funny?” Mercedes asks.

  We can’t even stop long enough to answer her.

  “Get it together, you two, and get onstage. I’m ready to do our first run-through of the scene where Heidi visits Peter at his home.”

  That stops me laughing.

  Addie and I take our places. The set for the scene is simple—a table and two rocking chairs, and I only have one major line. When Peter’s grandmother asks how his reading is going, Peter says, “Just the same.” It shouldn’t be hard, but somehow it is.

  “Places, everyone,” Mercedes says.

  Addie sits at the table across from Jada, a kind girl Mercedes casted as the grandmother. I settle into one of the rocking chairs and hold Butter’s leash loosely to give her enough room to move a little.

  Mercedes scans the stage with her hands on her hips. We all know that stance by now. It’s means something isn’t to her liking. She considers the set for about five minutes and finally says, “I don’t think a goat would be inside the house.”

  “But I thought Butter was supposed to be in all the scenes with Peter?” I say, reminding Mercedes of our deal.

  “But it doesn’t look right. Let’s try it a few times without her. It’s just rehearsal.” Before I can complain, Mercedes leaps up onto the stage and leads Butter away.

  I watch Butter go, feeling panicky.

  “From the top,” Mercedes says.

  Addie runs through her lines, and then Jada says hers. They go back and forth a few times, and then it’s my turn.

  I whisper, “Just the name.”

  Mercedes says, “Marvel, your line is Just the same. Not name, and speak louder, please. Project. From the top, everyone.”

  We start again. When it’s time for my line, I try to do what Mercedes wants and speak up, but I overcorrect. I get the line right, but the volume of my voice is so loud it echoes around the auditorium.

  Everyone watching snickers, and I see Jamie doubled over, laughing hysterically in the stage wings.

  My face turns bright red.

  “Don’t worry, Marvel. You’ll get it,” Mercedes says.

  Unfortunately, her prediction never comes true. Every time we run the scene, I mess up. When I don’t improve after multiple attempts, Mercedes finally decides to work on something else.

  Grateful to be free, I dart offstage, collect Butter from Mercedes, and look for a place to hide for the rest of practice. I find a quiet spot backstage, and I’m there feeding Butter Cheerios when Dad shows up with a wooden cutout of a mountain. He’s been building a mountain range out of plywood to mimic the Swiss Alps. He’s been coming to school at the end of practice every day to deliver more pieces of the set and then walks home with me.

  Dad leans the mountain against the wall and brushes his hands off. “Hey, kiddo. What are you doing back here?”

  “Hiding.”

  He smiles and sits down next to me. “And why are you doing that?”

  “Because I kept messing up our scene.” I sound petulant.

  “Hmm. First time you ran through it?”

  “Yeah. How did you know?”

  “An educated guess. Nothing ever works right without practice. You’ll get it.” His calm confidence makes me want to believe him.

  “Do you really think so? Because I’m worried I’m going to be a disaster.”

  “I really think so,” he says, and puts his arm around me, pulling me close. “And even if you don’t, everything will be okay.”

  Somehow the strength of his arm around me makes his words feel solid and trustworthy, so I let myself believe them. We still have a few weeks of practice left. Maybe if I can convince Mercedes to let Butter be in the scene with me, I’ll be able to do it.

  Butter jumps up and puts her front hooves on Dad’s stomach. He scratches the sides of her face as he would a dog’s. “Are you ready for dinner?”

  “She’s eaten half the play scripts already,” I say.

  Dad chuckles. “She’s a goat. It’s in her nature, but maybe we should feed her something with more substance and you need dinner too. What do you say we go home and forget about plays for a few hours?”

  “That sounds great,” I say, and we head out the stage door.

  Outside, the temperature has dropped and the fog is starting to roll in. That’s one of the crazy things about the Bay Area. It’s warm and sunny one minute, and cold and foggy the next. It’s something about the way the city is in between the sea and the mountains.

  “You know, I remember one night on the ship when the fog was so thick, I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my
face. There were no stars, and if it weren’t for our instruments, we would have had no idea where we were going,” Dad says.

  I imagine it and get a familiar sick feeling in my stomach. I don’t like when Dad talks about his time at sea. I hate thinking about him being out on his ship away from us, and I really don’t want him to talk about going away again.

  “You know I’m going to be heading out to sea again.”

  I unhook Butter’s leash so she can run. “Do we have to talk about that? I don’t want to think about it.”

  Dad takes my hand. “Marvel, we can’t ignore the hard stuff.”

  “Why not?” He might not be able to, but I can. I have him home, I have friends, I have Butter. For the first time in a long time, life feels pretty good. I’m not going to muck it up by thinking about hard stuff.

  “Because, kiddo, the hard stuff has a way of catching up with us whether we want it to or not.”

  I choose not. “So, you think Butter has bad manners, huh?” I ask, changing the subject.

  Dad sighs. After a few seconds, he says, “I think she has terrible manners.”

  I laugh and swing our hands as we walk. “Me too.”

  Dad chuckles, and life is perfect. Me, Dad, and Butter all together.

  I’m on the playground before school with Butter. It’s my favorite place to train her because there are so many things for her to climb on. She still hasn’t mastered bowing or jumping up on a surface on command and I need her to do both for the play, so we’re here to practice. I still have a lot of conflicting feelings about the play. One minute I’m super excited about it. The next I’m wishing I could hide under a box until it’s all over.

  I take Butter over to a bench that sits on the edge of the playground. I manage to coax her onto it and reward her. She’s so clever and picks up tricks quickly.

  Ms. Day sees us and comes over. “Well done! Butter is going to be amazing in the play.”

  I smile. “I think so too.”

  “I hear you’re doing a pretty good job too. I’m proud of you. You’ve come a long way these past few weeks, and you’re going onstage as Peter!” Ms. Day pats me on the shoulder.