Long Time Coming

by Vanessa Miller

  "You don't have to be a smart aleck, young lady. I'm just trying to tell you that if you have specific wishes for your children, it's best to have it written out and notarized."

  "Okay, then, I'll make sure to write down my wishes."

  "It's not enough to just say what you don't want, Kenisha. We need to determine who might be a good fit for your children. So let's at least start by compiling a list of your immediate family members."

  "Well, that will be quick, because I'm going to reject them all."

  "You can't just dismiss them so quickly, Kenisha. What about your mother? You really don't think she would step up to the plate and take care of your children if something happened to you?"

  "My mother is a drunk. And besides that, she never protected her own children, so how can I expect her to protect mine?"

  "Okay, I understand why you don't want your mother. But what about Aisha?"

  "Aisha is lazy. She has four illiterate children, and two of them are over the age of seven. No way will Aisha destroy my children's future the way she's doing with her own children. And before you ask, Kevin is a wonderful guy, but he is addicted to drugs and therefore is not stable enough to keep my children."

  Deidre felt so sorry for Kenisha, but she tried her best not to let it show. If she knew nothing about the young woman in front of her, she knew that Kenisha couldn't stand to be pitied or looked down upon."What about your father? Do you have any communications with him?"

  Kenisha scoffed."I don't know if I can call the man who impregnated Martha a father. I know he paid his child support. But he never visited me when I was a kid."

  "Did he and your mother not get along?"

  "All I know is the man's name is Dwayne Smalls. He owns a chain of fast-food restaurants and has children littered all over this city. But the only ones he claims outright are the ones he had with his wife."

  "You've never seen him?" Deidre had been daddy's little girl until the day her father died of a massive heart attack. She remembered crying as if the world had come to an end when her daddy died. But Kenisha spoke of her father with no emotion at all. Deidre just couldn't fathom how her life would have been had she grown up without the love of her father.

  "I went to one of his restaurants a few years back." Kenisha's eyes took on a faraway look as if she was picturing the scene all over again."I dressed my children in their nicest clothes, and we ordered our food and sat down at one of the tables and waited for him to come in. We had been finished with our food for over an hour when he finally walked in the door. He had some files with him, so he walked over to one of the tables and sat down.

  "I got up and walked over to him. I put my hand out and said, 'Sir, my name is Kenisha, and I brought my children here today so they could meet you. '

  "He ignored my hand as he looked up at me and said, 'If it's money you want, you need to ask your mama for it. I paid my child support, and if she didn't give it to you, I don't have anything to do with that. ' "

  "That's pretty cold," was all Deidre could say.

  "Don't I know it. So, anyway, that was the first and the last time I saw the man."

  "But he gave you his last name."

  "My mom blackmailed him into doing that. I was child number three, and she was tired of not being able to list the name of the father on her children's birth certificates. So she promised not to tell his wife if he would give me his last name and sign the birth certificate."

  Things were looking pretty bleak as far as family members went, but then Deidre remembered something and snapped her finger."Don't you have another sister? The one who kept your children while you were in the hospital."

  Kenisha smiled."Angelina is smart. That girl is going places. And as much as I hate to agree with my mother, she doesn't need three kids stopping her from achieving her goals." A look of determination overtook Kenisha as she said."I wouldn't want her to have my children, anyway."

  "Why not? You just said she's going places."

  "Angelina isn't the problem. It's her father. He's a pervert, and that man will never get his hands on my children. He's ruined enough children in my family."

  Again, sadness overtook Deidre at the thought of the life Kenisha must have led, but she didn't pity Kenisha. Rather, she admired the strength in this girl who grew up too soon and, if the doctors were right, would be gone from this earth way too soon. Deidre remembered watching the Michael Jackson memorial and listening as Usher sang "Gone Too Soon." The song was endearing, and it had touched a special place in Deidre's heart. But she hadn't known Michael Jackson. She knew Kenisha, and as she thought of that song while they sat on the couch, discussing possible options in the case of her death, Deidre couldn't hold back any longer, and a tear fell down her cheek, followed by several others.

  "I'm sorry," Deidre said, knowing that Kenisha wouldn't want to see her tears.

  "I'm sorry too. I wish I had a different family. I wish my mother had never run into Jimmy, the child molester, and I wish I didn't have cancer. But there's no sense wishing the day away when I need help finding a family for my children."

  At that moment, Deidre flashed back to her conversations with Johnson about adopting. And then she realized that God did, indeed, work in mysterious ways. Because while she was thinking that Johnson's sudden interest in adopting a child showed a lack of faith in her ability to conceive a child for them, it had been God planting a seed all along. She and Johnson must have had that conversation so that when this moment occurred with Kenisha, Deidre would know exactly what to say. Her eyes lit up as she asked, "Have you thought about checking out some adoption agencies?"

  "I don't know," Kenisha said hesitantly."What if the father is a pervert or the mother is a drunk?"

  "These agencies screen the prospective parents pretty thoroughly."

  "How do you know?" Kenisha folded her arms across her chest.

  "Johnson and I have applied with the Action Adoption agency, and they are running thorough background checks on us. If you'd like, I can do a little more research on the process."

  Kenisha unfolded her arms."You'd do that for me?"

  "Of course. All I have to do is Google a few things and then make a few calls. Once I have the information, we can decide what we want to do."

  Kenisha looked away as she said, "I'd appreciate it if you'd look that information up for me. I don't have a computer, so I'd have to go to the library to do it, and right now, I don't think I'm suitable company for the general public."

  Deidre looked at her watch and then stood up."It's way past my lunchtime, so I need to get back to work."

  "Good thing you don't have classes to teach, or you'd probably have to fire yourself, huh?" Kenisha said with a laugh as she followed Deidre to the door.

  "I might not have classes, but I have a superintendent who could give me the boot. But I'm not trying to give him a reason."

  "Thanks for stopping by," Kenisha said as she opened the door.

  This was the first time Kenisha had ever thanked her for anything. Kenisha had been so defensive about everything from the moment they'd met that Deidre never knew what might set the girl off. But now it seemed as if Kenisha was letting her guard down a bit. That made Deidre feel good. She had misjudged Kenisha when they had first met, and ever since that time she had been trying to make things right. It appeared that she and Kenisha were rounding a new corner, and maybe they were even becoming friends.

  "I'll talk to you in a couple of days, once I have some more information on what you need to do." Deidre was all smiles as she left Kenisha's house.

  When she got to her car, though, the tears began to fall. Deidre drove down the street and then parked her car. She was so shaken up by the whole thing. No one should have to deal with so much misery in such a short span of time. She wanted to help Kenisha but felt that anything she could do would certainly not make up for the lifetime of suffering this young girl had endured.

  Deidre picked up her cell phone and dialed her mother.

&
nbsp; The phone rang three times, and then Loretta Clark picked up."Hey, sweetie, it's so nice to hear from you."

  Deidre couldn't stop the tears from flowing as she opened her mouth and blurted out, "Mom, I just want to thank you for being a good mother. You've always looked out for me, and I appreciate it."

  "Are you crying?" Loretta asked with concern in her voice.

  "Yes."

  "Why, honey. What's wrong?"

  Deidre wiped the tears from her face and then said, "I have a new friend. Her name is Kenisha."

  "Well, that's nothing to cry about," Loretta said, sounding a little baffled.

  "She's dying, Mom. She's only twenty-three years old, she has three kids, and she's dying."

  "I'm so sorry to hear that, honey."

  "Would you pray for her, Mom?"

  "Yes, of course I will. Now dry your eyes and trust God— okay, Deidre?"

  "All right, Mom. I'll do that."

  Deidre had researched adoption agencies. And she had found out how the process would work for her and Johnson, but she didn't know much about what Kenisha would need to do in order to have her children adopted. So she sat back down in front of her computer and began her research. She printed off dozens of pages and jotted down a bunch of notes on her notepad. The entire process seemed pretty straightforward. To get the process started, Kenisha would have to appear before the probate court and relinquish her rights so the adoptive family could petition the court for a decree of adoption. The probate court would have to approve both Kenisha's application and the adoptive parents' petition before a decree of adoption could be ordered by the court.

  When she was done, she called Kenisha."Hey, I've got that information we talked about," Deidre said as soon as Kenisha picked up the phone.

  "That quick?"

  "The Internet is a wonderful thing."

  "So what do we do now?"

  "In order to have the children adopted, you'll need to apply with the probate court. Before doing that, I would suggest having someone in mind, so the courts don't pick someone for you."

  "I wouldn't want the courts to pick my children's parents," Kenisha said in a whisper.

  "Are the kids in the room with you?" Deidre asked.

  "I'm in the kitchen, but they're in the living room watching a movie, so I don't want to talk too loud."

  "When do you plan on telling them what's going on?"

  "I haven't got that far yet. I don't know."

  "Okay, we can talk about that later, but my recommendation is that we check out a few of these adoption agencies and see if any of them are able to help you."

  "When can we do that?"

  "I'll make a few calls tomorrow and see if we can make some appointments."

  "Okay." Kenisha hesitated and then said, "Thanks, Deidre."

  15

  The first place Kenisha and Deidre had an appointment was a social services adoption organization. It was there that reality slapped Kenisha in the face hard. The woman who sat behind the desk appeared to be in her mid-fifties, with salt-andpepper hair that was neatly swirled into a bun on top of her head. Her name was Leann Banks, and she was the kind of woman someone was always shushing, because she told it like it was with no sugar on top.

  "It is unfortunate that you have three children in need of adoption. I could probably place the two-year-old within six to nine months, but the other two might take years."

  Kenisha held up her hand, halting the conversation."Are you saying that my children wouldn't be placed with the same family?"

  "Most of my adoptive parents only want one child, two at the most. It is a rare adoptive parent who will take three children at one time. I'm sorry, Ms. Smalls, because I realize that you don't have the kind of time I would need to place your children with suitable parents."

  The story was the same at the other agencies. No one could guarantee that Kenisha's children would all be raised together, not even the forever families–slogan place.

  Kenisha then talked with Children's Services to find out what would happen to her children if she died before finding someone to adopt them.

  The social worker, Mr. Nater, told her, "If your children do not already have a guardian at the time of your death, they would be placed into the system and would live with foster parents until someone adopts one or all of them."

  "Would you be able to ensure that my children stay together?" Kenisha asked with her fingers crossed.

  "No. I'm sorry, I would not be able to guarantee such a thing."

  Kenisha was distraught, but Deidre admonished her not to give up. Then about a week after the visits to various adoption agencies, Kenisha received a packet from one of the agencies with information on four couples that were either interested in adopting Kennedy alone or both Kennedy and Diamond together, but not Jamal. As she and Deidre sat down at her kitchen table to review the information on these people, Kenisha was at the point of tears over the fact that none of the couples wanted her son."What is Jamal supposed to do? He's a good kid, but he needs guidance just like anybody else."

  "I know, I was thinking the same thing myself," Deidre admitted.

  "How can these people think that eight is too old? If they're willing to take the two- and five-year-old, why not their older brother? Those girls should have someone to look out for them."

  Trying to cheer Kenisha up, Deidre said, "All of this won't even matter when God heals you."

  "In the meantime, what am I supposed to do about this?" Kenisha held up the papers they had been reviewing on potential parents.

  "I've been thinking about this, and I really believe that your children should stay together. So let's throw all of these people back where they came from and wait and see what happens next."

  Kenisha threw the papers back on the table."I agree. If they don't want my son, then they can't be very nice people, anyway. Let's go sit down in the living room and get away from these papers."

  They got up and walked into the living room. It was Columbus Day, so school was out. The kids were over at Aisha's playing with her children, so Kenisha could review the information from the adoption agency without prying eyes.

  "How are the kids doing?" Deidre asked when they were seated.

  "They're doing good. I think Jamal knows something is up, but he hasn't asked me yet. That boy is just too smart for his own good."

  "Yeah, I realized that the first time I met him. He was only seven at the time, but he spoke with so much wisdom that I was instantly impressed."

  Kenisha saw a gleam in Deidre's eyes every time she spoke about Jamal. So she knew that Deidre cared about him. And it seemed to Kenisha that Deidre would be a good mother, but she wondered why Deidre hadn't asked about adopting her children."When we met, I remember that you were upset because you thought you were pregnant, but it turned out that you weren't."

  The look on Deidre's face told Kenisha that she had touched on a taboo subject. Kenisha lifted her hand and said, "Look, if it's none of my business, don't worry about it . . . forget I said anything."

  "It's okay. I don't mind telling you," Deidre said. She took a deep breath and then said, "I can't have children. When I was a teenager my doctor discovered that I had polycystic ovary syndrome."

  "Poly what?"

  "It's a condition that can cause problems with a woman's menstrual cycle and make it difficult to get pregnant."

  "Just because it's difficult doesn't mean it won't happen, right? Isn't that what all that prayer stuff you're always talking about should take care of?"

  "Well, it hasn't happened yet, and Johnson and I have been trying for several years."

  "Is that why you and Johnson applied with that adoption agency?"

  "Yeah, Johnson wants to be a father in the worst way."

  "Would my death count?"

  It was the first of the month, so Kenisha sat patiently waiting for Chico to knock on her door. She knew he would be there soon. This was the day he always visited Kennedy and just before leaving, Chico always see
med to find a reason to ask to borrow a few dollars. Kenisha normally didn't give him a dime, but today she had a twenty on the kitchen table, right next to the form for relinquishing parental rights that she needed him to sign.

  Kenisha stood at the sink washing the breakfast dishes when she heard Chico pounding on the back door."Here we go," she said to herself as she opened the door.

  "Hey, girl, what's been shaking?" he said as he strutted into her apartment.

  "Nothing much, Chico. How about you?"

  "Oh, you know how I do it. I'm always gon' find a way to get to the top."

  Chico used to say that to her when they first started dating. She used to believe him. But that was when he had a real job and wasn't ninety pounds of human waste."I'm glad you stopped by, Chico. I need to talk with you about something."

  "Oh, you're actually going to be nice to me today?"

  "I don't have any more fight in me, Chico. Can you sit down at the kitchen table so I can talk to you?"

  "Do I get breakfast?" he asked with hopeful eyes.

  "Sure, sit down and I'll get you a muffin." Kenisha took the twenty off the table and put it in her pocket before she grabbed the blueberry muffins out of the cabinet. She handed two muffins to Chico and then sat down. As he devoured the food, she told him, "I'm dying, Chico."

  "What?" he said as he stuffed one of the muffins down his throat.

  "I have cancer. My doctor doesn't think I'm going to live very much longer."

  He laughed."Is this some kind of trick? You're too young to have cancer."

  "That's what I thought too. But it's true, Chico. And I've got the aches and pains in my body that prove something is definitely wrong."

  "Your brother tried to tell me that you were sick, but I didn't believe him. I thought he was tripping off of some bad crack or something."

  "It's true." Sometimes Kenisha amazed herself at how calm she had become with the news of her impending death. She was able to talk with Deidre about it without bursting into tears, and now she was having a rational conversation with Chico—telling him about her death as if she were telling him about Kennedy visiting the zoo for the first time.