He returned his attention to Raul, noticing his brother's unusually thoughtful expression as he sat back in his chair. Sitting in front of him, Esteban asked, "Raul, what's wrong?"
Raul looked at him and said in a serious tone. "I'm stupid after all. All these years, I thought something was going on between Diego and you."
Diego and Mauricio Alvarez had been their friends and neighbors all their lives, and while Esteban had a great friendship with both of the Alvarez brothers, Raul had always disliked Diego for being effeminate, and thought that beating the gay out of him would work. In the long run, Diego learned to fight back and Esteban concluded they enjoyed their bloody arguments, so he didn't intervene anymore.
"Raul, I told you hundreds of times that there was nothing more than friendship between us."
"I get it now. The real thing was between Mauricio and you, right?"
Esteban concluded there was no point in denying it. "Mauricio didn't want you to know, because he wanted you to preserve the image you had of him of being like you."
Raul made a face. "Dear God! I was so blind. I suspected something like that, but I never wanted to admit it, not of Mauricio."
"I know that being close friends you consider this a treason of sorts, but it was his life and his sexuality, so you have to respect it, even though you probably would have a lot to say."
"What about you? I've thought your homosexuality was unwanted."
"And it is, I've kept myself chaste all these years."
"Whew! I'm not sure what's worse, you being gay, or that silliness of chastity." Then frowning he asked, "What did you write in those letters?"
"Nothing ever happened between Mauricio and me, so there is very little romance in those letters. We only discussed books, some controversial, but I have the right to read whatever I please, don't I?"
"Well, in your current situation, you probably should be concerned. What if those letters fall in the hands of the press, eh? The press can take anything and turn it around, and you would find yourself in a compromising position. You're lucky the boy didn't sell them."
"No, he's not that kind of person. I've seen little of him, but I can tell he's honorable. Besides, at twenty-five, he's hardly a boy. "
"Esteban, are you serious about leaving the church?"
"Of course. Why?"
"It would be good if you got some new clothes. Since we're here, let do it. You're calling everybody's attention dressed like that."
Esteban agreed, and when Javier came back, he let Raul guide him into buying some new stuff. Nothing fancy, simply a few shirts, pants, and a pair of jeans, because Raul said, those were essential.
Back in the car, Raul returned a few calls, business related, and asked Esteban, "Where do you want to go? If you want you can stay at my condo, unless you want to visit any of the clubs?"
Esteban actually smiled at that one. "No, thanks. Your place will be okay. I'm thinking of going to the farm, but I should wait for Diego's call, in case they are coming back soon."
"Okay, let's go home, I need a break. There is an event at the North Bergen club tonight, but I can drive you tomorrow."
Esteban hadn't seen Raul's new place after his divorce. It was a big apartment in a high-rise on the New Jersey waterfront, in the town of West New York, only a few miles from Hoboken. Pure luxury, like Raul preferred, with three bedrooms, which were for when his kids visited him, and a panoramic view of Manhattan.
Esteban picked up a picture featuring his four nephews as soon as they walked in. They were little devils, but he loved them and missed not spending more time with them. Maybe now he could.
Raul stood next to him and said, "Are you considering getting your own?"
Esteban put the picture back in place. "We already discussed that, I'm not having kids."
When he turned around Javier was staring at him, until Raul asked Javier to follow him, so he could show him where he was going to stay. Then they disappeared down the hall that went to the bedrooms.
Esteban tried to call Diego again, this time he answered.
"Esteban, I hope you're calling for something other than Raul, otherwise I don't want to talk with you either."
"Diego, what's wrong?"
"Didn't Raul tell you?"
"No. I spent the whole afternoon with him, and he didn't say you guys fought harder than usual. Except that he lost a girlfriend because you scratched the hell out of him, but that's old news."
"This is serious, Esteban. If he doesn't back off, I'm getting a restraining order."
"What? Hold on. You're not answering my calls because of Raul, and now you're talking legalese here."
"I'm sorry, I promised never to get you involved, but he's your brother and this might get ugly."
"Diego, you're scaring me. What have you done to one another this time?"
"It's not because of me, it's the baby and the mother."
"Which baby?"
"There is this girl, well, she's in her twenties and she's expecting a baby." He paused for a second before saying quickly, "it could be either Raul's or mine. He wants her to abort, but I'm keeping the baby. So he better stay away from us."
"Jesus Christ! How is it possible that the baby is yours too?"
"Ask him, it's his fault. It was his idea, I should have never listened, but whatever it is, this innocent child is being born. So tell that baby killer brother of yours to stay away."
"Diego! Oh, my God, How did you guys get into this mess?"
"For the first time ever, I would rather have you listening to his version. We'll talk when you come around."
Esteban told him what happened with his own life, and Diego explained that he was going back to Hoboken in the morning. Before ending the call, he again apologized for not answering Esteban's calls before.
Afterward, Esteban walked into the bathroom to remove his clerical clothing, before dressing as a layman for the first time in twelve years. Taking into account the years he'd spent as a seminarian, and later as a Jesuit priest, in total he'd dedicated more than twenty years of his life to the Roman Catholic Church.
Yet he hesitated before removing his Roman collar forever, although he didn't have an option because the day he'd been ordained he'd promised celibacy and obedience, but he had been struggling to keep the first one for years, and by walking away from the case he broke the second one. He would rather leave the priesthood now, before dishonoring his promises and offending the church and his family any further.
When he joined his brother in the living room, Raul briefly applauded him. "Great, this is the first step. Listen, this is your house, feel free to do whatever you want."
"Thanks. Raul, I spoke with Diego."
"Fuck! Well, I guess he told you his version."
"No, he wants you to tell me first, but he gave me a preview."
"I don't feel like talking about that now. Is he coming back or are you joining him?"
"He will be back tomorrow."
"Okay. Do you mind if I take you there in the afternoon, I'm going to stay out all night, and I'll need to get some sleep in the morning before going out again."
"No problem, whenever you can drive us is fine."
Raul turned around and leaning forward whispered. "Are you continuing the celibate thingy?"
"Why are you asking? I don't expect that you would accept my choice in case I don't."
"I'm not homophobic, Esteban. My problems with Diego have nothing to do with the fact he's gay. It's because he is annoying, and the most stubborn person on this planet."
"Raul, I thought you guys were making an effort to become friends."
"I tried, I really tried, but he's impossible! I even shared one of my girlfriends with him."
"You did what?"
"You said that the Catholic medical association thinks gay people can be cured, right?"
"The fact they say it doesn't mean it's possible. Besides, forcing a gay man to have sex with a woman is no cure."
"I didn't for
ce him, he agreed, and he liked it so much, he even stole her from me."
In spite of Raul's upset expression Esteban laughed. "He did what? You guys are insane. I'm not getting involved anymore in this nonsense."
Chapter 5
When Javier entered the living room, he noticed Raul's expression and tried to go back, but Raul stopped him. "Javier, it's okay, we're arguing about some crazy person we all know."
Javier noticed that Esteban had changed his clothing for a navy shirt and pair of black pants. He appeared younger, less severe looking, and Javier had to fix his gaze onto something else, before the two men noticed how interesting he found Esteban's lean sculpted muscles framed in the new clothes. He distracted himself by looking out the panoramic windows that made up a whole wall of the room, showcasing the Manhattan skyline.
"I'm sorry, if I interrupted something."
Esteban waved a hand. "No, you didn't. Take a seat, and listen to this craziness." Esteban waited until Javier sat down before continuing. "Raul and Diego decided to become friends, and to celebrate, Raul shared one of his girlfriends with Diego."
Javier couldn't believe his ears. "He has more than one?"
Raul reacted freshly. "Of course! Why should a man have only one?"
Javier was surprised by the saucy comment, but simply said, "I see. Did she agree to be with Diego too?"
Javier knew he sounded naive asking such questions, but he honestly was curious.
"Sure, you can't force a woman to do that. I mean, you can, but it wouldn't be the right thing to do."
"And what is the problem now?"
Esteban answered that one. "They are enemies again because she prefers Diego and is pregnant with his baby."
Raul stared at Esteban.
"It could be my baby."
"What's your version of the events, Raul?"
Raul dropped his shoes on the floor and hunkered down on the couch like a rebellious teenager. "Just what I said, man. I got Diego some pussy and he liked it so much that he got crazy."
Javier spoke before he could stop himself. "Really? I thought he was gay."
Esteban's expression equaled a prosecutor in front of the jury. "He is gay, Javier. And in all the years I've known him, which is all my life, I never heard of him liking any girl. I bet Raul did something else to get Diego in this mess. Raul, what did you use? Alcohol, drugs?"
"Javier is going to think I'm some kind of thug."
"When it comes to Diego, you have no qualms at all. To be fair Javier, Diego has done bad things to Raul, too."
Javier mumbled more for himself than the others. "Oh, they are really enemies."
Esteban remarked without taking his eyes from Raul, "Worse, because they shared the affection of many people who don't know what to do when they are at war. Anyway, this time there is an innocent involved. And I'm not talking only about the mother."
Raul got up and started pacing around a few feet. "It's my baby too. I mean that thing could be mine too."
Esteban stood in front of Raul stopping his errant movements, and his voice came out as tough as Javier had ever heard it.
"You're calling the baby thing, so killing him would not hurt, eh?"
Javier also stood. "Who is killing who?"
Javier had lost track of the argument, these two were at each other's throats, and Esteban was red to his ears when he said, "Raul wants the mother to have an abortion."
"Oh." Javier thought that even if he was pro-life, he understood there were times people had to make choices, but still the idea of a baby never being born affected him.
Esteban wiggled a finger in front of Raul's face. "Wait a second. How did she get pregnant? Don't tell me you were so irresponsible to have sex without protection, and forced Diego to do the same thing."
"I didn't force him! And the first time we used protection."
"The first time! So you guys did it more than once?"
Outraged, Esteban stared at his brother in shock, and Raul offered his most innocent expression, if he ever had one.
"I told you, he liked it."
"Raul, how are you so sure?"
"When they did it, I was there. I witnessed it."
"You were in the same room?"
"Yes. You don't share your girlfriend with some guy and leave them alone. Of course, you know nothing of these things, Esteban."
"And I'm not sure I want to know the details of this incident. Javier, maybe you shouldn't listen to this either."
"Why not? Because it's personal?" Javier asked.
"No. Because of the level of sexual deviancy involved," Esteban stated.
Javier found that funny. "Come on, Esteban, I've probably had more sex in my life than you."
Raul laughed at that for a few seconds. "Everybody we know has had more sex than Esteban. My poor brother is a virgin."
Esteban froze and Javier thought he should not have made that comment at all.
"I'm sorry, Esteban, I didn't mean to say it like that."
"It's okay. One is not supposed to be sexually active while being a celibate priest."
Javier went back to the sofa and kept his eyes on his interlaced fingers over his lap; he didn't want to risk glancing at Esteban's face, because his voice clearly announced how angry he was.
"Jesus! Raul, how could you do such a thing? What I don't understand is why Diego agreed?"
"Well, it's simple. He tried it, he liked it, and now, he wants to keep the girl with baby and all."
"No, that can't be true," argued Esteban.
"It is, and the problem is I shared my favorite girlfriend, the one I still like. And now she's pregnant and telling everybody it's Diego's baby."
"You messed up big this time," Esteban told him.
"It's probably my baby, not his. Esteban, I already have too many children, she's not having another."
"Are you telling me to my face that you want her to have an abortion?" Esteban asked Raul in astonishment.
"Esteban, the girl won't be a good mother, and I can't have more kids."
"It could also be Diego's baby, no wonder he's so mad at you, and he didn't want to talk with me thinking I was going to bring up this issue. Life is precious, Raul," Esteban said vehemently.
"Yes, easy to say when you're not paying child support plus alimony," Raul accused.
"Well, you should have thought before acting, you know."
Raul defended himself. "I did, I always use protection, that day was an exception."
"That day could end up being a disaster. Your penchant for young women is a disgrace, Raul."
"Much better than having it for men, don't you think?" Raul said snidely.
"What are you saying?"
Raul held his hands up as if to say, I give up. "You know what, Esteban, you shouldn't get involved in our problems. Diego and I will sort this one out."
There was a silence and Javier looked up, Esteban had walked away from Raul and stood in front of the panoramic windows for a few seconds before he turned around resolute, and told Javier, "Get your stuff, we're out of here."
Surprised, Javier stood, but before he could move, Raul walked up to where Esteban was and said, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, but this is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through, not even my divorce was this complicated."
"Why? Because you're going to be a father again? I see no complication there, besides, it could be the baby girl you've always wanted. Do you still want to kill her?"
"All right, I won't talk about abortion anymore," Raul conceded.
"Good. And you're going to find a way to work things out with Diego too."
"Ah, that doesn't depend on me, you know how he is."
"I'll talk with him, and you guys better come up with a good explanation why the both of you are having the same baby."
Raul shook his head. "That sounds wrong Esteban."
"Wrong is what Mom will say if she hears this story."
"Oh, no, you can't let Diego tell her until we know who th
e father is."
"Okay, but you better start apologizing to the baby's mother," Esteban informed him.
"I've never been good at that," Raul admitted, and Esteban smiled."Then it's never too late to learn."
"Fine, I'll send her some flowers with a card. Now, I better get ready, I'm going to be late."
Raul headed for the hall and from there he turned around and asked Esteban, "Can you do some coffee for me while I take a shower please?"
For a second Javier thought Esteban was going to refuse, but he walked to the kitchen. Javier followed him silently, and watched while Esteban looked around the room checking where things were.
"Javier, are you hungry? I'm going to cook some pasta."
"You know how to cook?"
"Yes, the essential stuff."
Javier wanted to tell him something, but wasn't sure if it was another wrong comment. After a while, Esteban looked back at him and asked, "What is it?"
"Esteban, I have a theory about why Diego got involved in that whole mess."
"You know why?" Esteban was curious.
"Well, not exactly why, but I think I know the reason he was able to perform with that girl."
"I'm listening." Esteban said encouragingly.
Javier lowered his voice.
"Because Raul was in the room, probably in the same bed?"
Esteban looked at him in astonishment. "Do you think?"
"Uh-huh," Javier affirmed.
"I can't believe what sex does to people, it's amazing how far some would go for pleasure." Esteban shook his head in amazement.
"Well, maybe you should try it so you can sympathize."
Again, Javier regretted talking, but there was something in Esteban that urged him to be daring. When Esteban ignored the comment and turned around to set the coffeemaker, Javier wished he were not HIV positive, so he could seduce him. He smiled at that thought, because he'd always been seduced. He'd never taken the initiative with anyone. Maybe with someone with limited experience he wouldn't mind.
"How virgin are you?" Javier boldly asked.
Esteban set the coffee can on the counter with extra strength and turned around. When Javier saw Esteban's mouth drop half open in shock, he decided not to back down, no matter what. There were so many things they could do without putting him at risk.
A Magnetic Couple Dilemma (Unfinished Liaisons Series) Page 4