Southern Love

by Synithia Williams

  Devin’s mouth opened and closed a few times. “Um, I’m sure she has something else to do.”

  Roscoe scowled before turning to Shayla. “You don’t have anything to do except go home and eat a sandwich, right?”

  Shayla looked between the two. Common sense said stay the hell away from Devin and his dad, but she genuinely missed Roscoe and hadn’t talked to him since his wife died. Dinner with them would be the only reminder of the good times she had in the town. It wouldn’t hurt anything, or anyone, to indulge herself in this, would it? Plus, no one could accuse her of trying to get her claws in Devin if her arm was twisted by Roscoe to come to dinner. That was a lie, but she’d let herself believe it.

  She smiled at Roscoe. “Nothing at all planned. I’d be happy to eat with you two.”

  The lady in front of them finally completed her purchase and Shayla dropped her bread and lunch meat on the counter. Mr. Jones put the items from Devin’s cart on the counter and told the cashier he was paying for it all.

  Shayla shook her head. “Mr. Jones, don’t. I can pay for my own bread.”

  He gently pushed her past the debit card scanner. “I know you can, but I want to do this.”

  The cashier raised an eyebrow and looked between Shayla and Mr. Jones. Feeling the start of another rumor Shayla opened her mouth to protest when Devin spoke up.

  “Just let him get it. Otherwise he’ll stand here arguing all day.” He said with a grin.

  Overruled, Shayla stood out of the way and let Mr. Jones handle the rest of the transaction. Hopefully it wouldn’t get back to her mother that Devin’s father bought groceries for her. When he finished paying, Shayla followed them outside. “Thanks, Mr. Jones, although you really shouldn’t have.”

  “Nonsense, you’re practically family. In fact, I used to hope you would be family one day.” He looked meaningfully between her and Devin.

  Devin cleared his throat. “Shayla, you can follow us to my dad’s house.”

  “Don’t waste the girl’s gas. She can ride with us. You’ve got to come back to town anyway.” Roscoe said. He walked toward Devin’s truck parked near the front. “Come on.” He hollered over his shoulder.

  Shayla and Devin stood frozen staring at each other. Devin looked skyward then at her with a wayward smile. “You heard the man.” He held out his hand for her to precede him.

  Roscoe kept up a constant flow of chatter on the drive to his home. He sat in the backseat, insisting Shayla sit in the front next to Devin. It took everything in her to pay attention to the man’s conversation. Her eyes kept sliding to the side to look at Devin. Once he caught her gaze and smiled. Her heart jumped in her chest. She was as nervous as she’d been when she was the junior varsity cheerleader with a crush on the captain of the football team.

  They pulled up at Roscoe’s house, a white ranch style home with a wrap around front porch. Acres of crop land surrounded it except on one side where there was a pine forest. When she asked if he owned all the land, he just grinned and winked. There was a barn off to one side, with no animals according to Devin and a small chicken coop next to it.

  “I’ve never seen a real chicken in my life.” Shayla said grinning. “Can I check them out?”

  Roscoe laughed. “Might not be a good idea since we’re eating chicken for dinner.”

  Shayla cringed. “Good point. Why didn’t you kill one of them?”

  “They’re mostly for the eggs. Plus, I didn’t have time to butcher one today.”

  She frowned over at the chicken coop. In hindsight, she probably never needed to see those chickens. She wouldn’t want to wonder which one was on her plate if she ate at Roscoe’s again.

  Devin gently ran his hand along her back. “Are you coming in?”

  She jumped and stepped out of his reach before she began to enjoy his touch too much.

  Devin cooked the chicken on a small grill in the kitchen, while she chopped vegetables for a salad. Roscoe sat at the table watching them. He kept the conversation on the times she used to visit him and Devin regularly. She was grateful he didn’t ask about Mark or her reason for coming home from Atlanta. Soon she was completely relaxed and laughing as Roscoe teased them about the old days when she and Devin were inseparable.

  She glanced at Devin, and their eyes met. He lifted the corner of his mouth and her chest tightened with longing for something she couldn’t have. She quickly looked away and concentrated on Roscoe’s story about their attempt to teach him the words to a Biggie Smalls song. Roscoe had said the song was noise, and they’d insisted it was prophetic. They’d spent that afternoon replaying the lyrics over and over until Roscoe got it right.

  Soon she forgot her longing, and tears streamed from her eyes as she laughed at the memory. “I’ll never forget you rapping that song. With your pants sagging and your arms waving.” She moved her arms in an exaggerated swagger before breaking into a fit of laughter.

  Roscoe laughed. “I hate that damn song. But sing it every time it comes on the radio. You two were something back then.” He looked at Devin. “I never understood what happened.”

  Shayla’s laughter faded and she looked at Devin. His eyes skirted to hers.

  “Dinner’s ready,” he bit out.

  He dropped the plate of chicken breasts on the table with a loud thud. Roscoe looked between the two and shook his head, but thankfully changed the subject. She brought the salad to the table and tried to concentrate as Roscoe started talking about old times again, but the jovial feelings from before were gone.

  Shalya shifted uncomfortably in her seat and tried to force the chicken down her throat. She’s what happened. She was the reason her and Devin’s friendship ended and she wondered if Roscoe would still welcome her to the table if he knew why. He probably already did. She absently rubbed her cheek as the memory of her mother’s slap after the rumors about what happened after Homecoming reached her. Everyone in town knew why she and Devin fell out.

  She and Devin eventually stopped talking. Roscoe tried to keep the conversation flowing, and she appreciated it, but by the time they finished the tension was thick. There was no way she and Devin could ever be friends. She didn’t know who she was fooling.

  “Why don’t you two sit on the porch while I clean up the kitchen,” Roscoe said once they finished.

  Shalya swallowed a groan. She wanted to go home and drown in a bottle of wine to forget all of her past mistakes.

  “I should head home.”

  Roscoe waved his hand. “Nonsense. Wait until I finish and then you can go.”

  Devin shook his head. “Dad, if she’s ready to leave.”

  “Just sit on the damn porch. Y’all cooked, I can clean. It’ll only take a minute. We ate bird food, so there’s not a lot to clean up.”

  Shayla couldn’t help but laugh. Resigned to following the man’s instructions, she and Devin left the kitchen. It was dark out, the chill in the air was the first sign of autumn and the sweet smell of the countryside wafted on the breeze. With a contented sigh, Shayla sat on the porch step. She looked at the stars right as one shot across the sky. She closed her eyes and wished things were different. That she and Devin could be together and no one would condemn her for being with him.

  She felt his warmth as he sat beside her and opened her eyes, but continued to look to the heavens, not trusting herself to look into his eyes.

  “My dad is determined to make things like they were before … ” his voice trailed off.

  She sighed. “Before I fucked it all up.” He didn’t answer and it broke her heart. “Look, I know you tried to extend the offer of friendship, and I appreciate that, but who are we kidding. I’m too fucked up and you’re too good.”

  He exhaled quickly before answering. “Shayla, I’ve wanted you since the day you braided my hair on Peaches’s porch. It’s never gone away.”
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  Her head whipped around. He didn’t look at her; instead he too was looking to the heavens as if the answer to their problem was there. Longing pressed heavily on her chest. His braid job was the worse she’d done that summer she’d helped Peaches braid hair. She’d been so distracted having him sit between her legs, that all of his braids were crooked. It was the first time she’d felt desire. The first time she’d known what it was like to want a man.

  But she couldn’t have Devin. Not then and not now. Her reputation was in shambles and her cousin loved him. It wasn’t as if she needed to break up another person’s dream.

  She smirked. “Don’t waste your time wanting me. I’m no good.”

  He ran his hands over his face. “Shit, Shayla, quit saying that. You’ve downed yourself since we were kids. I’m not smart enough. I’m not pretty enough,” he said in a falsetto tone. “When you know damn well you’re smarter than anyone I know and fine as hell. What you lack is confidence.”

  She stiffened. “I am confident.”

  “Bullshit.” He finally looked at her with anger in his eyes. “If you were, you wouldn’t say something so stupid.”

  “It’s not stupid, it’s true. You even said it yourself. I’m no good.”

  “I said that mess after you slept with Tony. What did I say before that? What did I say every day before that? That you were worth more than you gave yourself credit for. Worth more than what your mother gave you credit for.” He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. “You’re worth so much and you don’t realize it.”

  Tears burned her eyes. She looked away. She wished she could believe him. But she wasn’t worth a damn. If she were, she wouldn’t have gotten drunk at homecoming. She wouldn’t have mistaken one guy for another. She wouldn’t have spent the rest of her life living up to the image of a whore.

  She tried to pull away but he stopped her. She looked into his eyes. The darkness hid part of his face, but the intensity in his gaze burned bright. Her breathing stuttered. She wanted more than anything to kiss him. To forget all of the reasons why she should leave him alone and learn what it would be like to finally belong to him.

  When his head lowered she turned away. “I can’t, Devin.”

  He stiffened and pulled back. When his hand fell away it hurt more than if he’d slapped her. “Now it’s my turn to ask why, Shayla. Why every other man, but not me?”

  She gasped as pain sliced through her. She jumped up and fled from the porch to the side of the house. The crunch of his footsteps followed her and she ran trying to escape, but knew she didn’t have anywhere to go. Within seconds his hand grasped her upper arm and he stopped her. He pulled her into his embrace and she wished she were angry enough to push him away, but dammit, she wanted his arms around her.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  She shook her head. “Stop apologizing to me.”

  “I keep insulting you.”

  She jerked away. “As if I haven’t insulted you. Admit it, Devin. I’m the slut that ran from your arms to Tony’s in the same night. I flaunted my relationship with him to the entire town and embarrassed you in the process. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s always been me. Sorry, no good, easy Shayla.” Her voice started to waver so she stopped.

  His face grew rigid as she spoke. She knew her bluntness was painful, but they both needed to hear it. They both needed to realize that pursuing anything between them was a mistake. Devin was a model citizen, the pride of the community. She was a joke, the easy girl from the wrong side of town.

  “I’m ready to go home.”

  He regarded her for a few moments before nodding stiffly. “I’ll tell Dad we’re leaving.”

  Chapter 8

  Shayla parked her car behind Peaches and Roxanne’s in the gravel parking lot of Club Voracious. She gripped the steering wheel as she stared at the white flat front building. A large red neon sign blinked the word Voracious and cast its glow across the people standing in line and the cars in the parking lot. She’d insisted on driving herself just in case she felt the need to escape. You’re not in high school. You don’t have to do what Tony says. She repeated her mantra again. She hadn’t seen Tony in fifteen years and could have gone her entire life never setting eyes on his face. So why was she here?

  Peaches and Roxanne hopped out of Roxanne’s burgundy Oldsmobile and waved for her to hurry. With a deep breath, she opened the door and got out. Their idle chatter about the outfits of the other women in line was background noise to her. Instead, she concentrated on trying to calm her racing heart. This was crazy, she wasn’t a teenager anymore. There was no reason to let one person have such a chokehold on her emotions. Still, her steps shortened as they approached the entrance.

  Roxanne turned and put a hand on her hip. “Girl, hurry up. It’s your party.”

  Peaches turned and waited with a raised eyebrow. Amusement and a cold resentment filled her eyes. Peaches looked as if she knew Shayla was afraid to enter and enjoyed every moment. Shayla swallowed, clutching her small purse to keep from tapping her hand on her leg. She wasn’t doing this. To hell with being considered stuck up for bailing on her own welcome home party. She didn’t want to, couldn’t, face Tony.

  Peaches’s eyes narrowed and shifted over Shayla’s shoulder at the same time a warm hand clasped the back of her neck. Instantly she relaxed and breathed. She turned and looked into Devin’s eyes. His fingers gently massaged the back of her neck, sending comforting warmth throughout her body. She hadn’t seen him since returning his confession with brutal honesty the week before. She hadn’t dared hope he would still come tonight. Why would he want to witness the reunion of Helena High’s notorious couple of the late 90s?

  “You came.” Her voice was breathless and full of gratitude.

  The corner of his mouth lifted. “I said I was coming.” He looked at Peaches and Roxanne. “Let’s get the party started.”

  Peaches’s lips twisted in a scowl, but Roxanne smiled and waved them to come on. He dropped his hand and followed. Shayla brought up the rear and focused on how good Devin’s ass looked in his jeans instead of the upcoming reunion with Tony. The guy at the door hugged Roxanne and Peaches. His eyebrows shot up when he saw Devin.

  “What, Dr. Jones coming out to hang?” the guy said.

  Devin grinned and gave him a one armed hug. “What’s up, Larry. Yeah, I’m coming out to celebrate Shayla’s homecoming.” He turned and held out a hand to Shayla.

  Despite knowing it was wrong, she grabbed his hand and held on for dear life. When she met the eyes of the guy at the door recognition hit her. Larry used to play football in high school. He hadn’t been part of their clique, but he was a frequent attendee at Tony’s parties. Larry smiled and reached over to hug her.

  “I heard you were back in town. Long time no see.” He pulled back and grinned.

  “Same here, Larry,” she said. “You work here?”

  He shook his head. “Part time. I work for the sheriff’s department, and on my days off I handle security for Tony.” He eyed her hand still clasped in Devin’s and smirked. “Hopefully nothing will pop off tonight.” He stepped out of the way. “Have fun.”

  Devin squeezed her hand and they crossed the threshold into the dimly lit club. Hip hop music blasted and she read Peaches’s lips to follow instead of hearing the words. She would have expected the inside of a club owned by Tony to look like a hole in the wall. But the interior was impressive. Flashing lights bounced off cream walls adorned with large mirrors in gilded frames reflecting the dancers on the floor. The bar was stocked, the chrome railings and wood top shining. The tables not part of the VIP were full, as were all of the seats at the bar. Devin didn’t let go as they followed Peaches and Roxanne through the crowd to one of the partitioned off areas. There black velvet furniture and a few tables, all polished to a shine, waited with bottle
s of chilling champagne.

  Because VIP was partitioned off from the rest of the club it was not as loud, but Roxanne still had to shout for them to hear her say this was their spot. Someone grabbed her from the side and pulled her away from Devin. She fought panic as she hastily turned to face them. Her panic quickly fled when she met Jermaine’s friendly brown eyes.

  “Jermaine!” She grinned and hugged him before standing back. There were laugh lines on his tan skin, his once thick hair was balding at the top and there was more padding around his middle than there’d been in high school. But he still had a ready smile and laughing eyes.

  “Welcome home, Shayla! I would have come to see you sooner, but I’ve been busy at the shop. It’s good to see you,” he said.

  “Same here, Jermaine. Shop, did you actually start your own mechanic shop?

  Surprise lighted Jermaine’s eyes. “You remember that?”

  Shayla laughed. “How could I forget? Whenever anyone had a problem with their car you were the man to call. I’m glad to hear you finally made your dream happen.” She looked between him and Roxanne. “I hear y’all got kids now.”

  Roxanne hugged up to his side and he grinned. “Yeah, Roxanne can’t get enough of big daddy.”

  Roxanne rolled her eyes, but squeezed him tighter. “Whatever. You know it’s the other way around.”

  Jermaine laughed and reached out to give Devin pound. “What’s up, Devin? I didn’t believe it when Roxanne said you were clubbing with us tonight.”

  Devin shrugged. “Hey, they said let’s get the band back together.”

  Jermaine nodded but looked at Shayla with a sly smile. “No doubt.”

  Peaches popped a cork on one of the bottles of champagne. “Let’s have a drink until Tony can join us.”

  Instead of appearing anxious about Tony’s arrival, Shayla accepted the glass of champagne from Peaches and sat on the couch beside Devin. The next hour was spent drinking champagne and reminiscing about old times. She made sure to steer the conversation to fun times before Homecoming by bringing up some of Jermaine, Roxanne and Peaches’s most shining moments in high school. Thankfully, no one brought up that ill fated night.