Eastside

by Caleb Alexander

  Darius took a step toward his cousin and opened his hand. “Come with me tonight, Blood. But first, go and see Lil Fade.”

  Travon frowned. “Why?”

  “Because, regardless of what he’s done, he’s still the homie. Besides, you owe him at least that.”

  Travon swallowed hard. “Have y’all already been up there yet?”

  Darius shook his head. “No, I just found out a little while ago. His sister called; she was trying to get in touch with Capone.”

  Travon lowered his head and stared at the ground. “I can’t face him,” he whispered.

  “I don’t see why not,” Darius told him. “You’ve become just like him.” With that last biting remark, he went inside, leaving Travon sitting on the steps.

  Brooke Army Medical Center

  Fort Sam Houston Army Post

  Travon paused at the door. “I’ve got to face him. I’ve got to face him,” he whispered.

  He pushed open the door to the room and stepped inside. Lil Fade was lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by a forest of electronic monitors and intravenous drip machines. There were tubes and electronic patches all over his heavily illustrated, pale body.

  Lil Fade writhed in pain.

  Travon walked to the bed. “Lil Fade,” he called to him in a low, soft tone.

  Lil Fade opened his eyes. They were bloodshot. He turned his head toward Travon and smiled.

  “What’s up, Blood?” he said, greeting him, in a hoarse, low tone. “I knew you would come.”

  “How did you figure I would come?” Travon asked.

  “Because you let me get into your head, you let me get into your soul.”

  “Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you?” Travon asked. “Because of you, Tamika’s dead. I tried to run from you, and Dejuan killed her.”

  “Blood in, Blood out,” Lil Fade told him. “I never said whose blood it would take for you to get out.”

  Travon stepped forward. “You made me kill those people. Because of you, a lot of people are dead who shouldn’t be.”

  Lil Fade swallowed hard, and shifted his gaze toward the white ceiling. “Tre, if you killed me, I would consider you to be an angel of mercy. I would also die happy, knowing that BSV has you know, Baby-Low.”

  Travon shook his head and began to pace near Lil Fade’s hospital bed. “I’m not no fuckin’ Baby-Low. I don’t want this shit. Mika’s dead, Too-Low’s dead, and the people who killed them are dead. I’m through.”

  Lil Fade smiled. “I see you’ve gotten good at killing. Aaargh.” He writhed in pain. His hand grabbed a small rectangle-shaped box lying next to him. He pressed a little white button in the middle of the box, and this button sent a signal to the computer controlling one of his IVs, telling it to release more morphine. After a moment, he was able to speak again. He opened his eyes, and turned his attention to Travon.

  “Baby-Low, you killed those people, no one made you. And you felt satisfied when you did it. You are who you want to be.”

  Travon took another step toward the bed. “You stepped in front of the gun for me. Why?”

  “BSV for life,” Lil Fade said softly.

  Travon shook his head in disgust. “What happened to you?” he said through clenched teeth. “Why are you like this? What made you become like this?”

  “Like what?” Lil Fade asked.

  “A monster! A cold-hearted fuckin’ monster!”

  Lil Fade laughed, and pain shot through his body. His breathing became labored. “Look at me!” he commanded. His voice was raspy, clogged, muddled. “I’m an albino. I was born a monster. I’m a nigga with blue eyes and white skin. Do you know the hell I went through growing up? You’d be surprised at the names kids can come up with. I’ve been hating for a long time, Tre. I’ve been immune to feelings for a long time.”

  Travon frowned and tilted his head to the side. “You confuse the hell outta me. You’re smart, but sometimes you talk like you’re not. You use your intelligence to fuck with other people’s heads. Since you like that shit so much, why don’t you go back to school and become a shrink?”

  Lil Fade smiled. He waved his hand at the blankets that covered his body. “Pull the covers down,” he told Travon. “Pull this sheet all the way off of me.”

  Travon stepped forward and pulled the covers down. There was a large pink spot on the bandages covering Lil Fade’s stomach, where the shotgun blast hit. Travon’s gaze walked down Lil Fade’s body, and saw that his right leg was missing below the knee. Travon’s eyes flew wide and he jumped back. Once he became conscious of his actions, he stepped forward again.

  “It’s okay.” Lil Fade nodded and turned away from Travon. “I feel like running away too. It’s over for me, I’m finished.” Tears streamed down his face.

  Travon closed his eyes for a few moments, searching for the right words. There were none. He waved his hand over Lil Fade’s body. “It’s not over. All this means is that you have to slow down.”

  “And live like some fuckin’ cripple?” Lil Fade shouted. He pounded the covers with his fist. “This ain’t the way it’s supposed to happen. I’m supposed to die in the streets like a soldier!”

  Travon shook his head. “You mean like a fool!”

  Lil Fade shook his head and pounded the covers again. “No, like a soldier! Believing in something. Believing in the hood, in the homies, in you! I’m not supposed to live to be some crippled old man; I’m not supposed to live past eighteen!”

  Travon shook his head and turned away. “You’re crazy.”

  Lil Fade shook his head. “No, I’m finished. It’s all on you now, it’s all on you.” He lifted his bandaged hand and pointed at Travon. “You’re Baby-Low, and no one will let you forget it. From now on, everybody will be gunning for Baby-Low. Everyone will want the honor of being able to say that they killed Baby-Low. You will go on killing, BSV will keep on growing, and the set will live forever, and so I’ll live forever.”

  Travon shook his head and his eyes widened. “No.”

  “Yes.” Lil Fade bit down upon his lip. “I was it, and I passed it on to you. You will die, and someone else will have it.”

  “Fuck you, and your psycho killa bullshit.”

  Lil Fade rapidly shifted his gaze toward Travon. “Is it? Think about it. When someone thinks of Wheatley Courts, they think Dejuan and Too-Low. East Terrace, they think Slow Poke and C-Low. BSV, they think Capone and Lil Fade. Now they think Capone and Baby-Low.”

  Travon extended his arms toward the ceiling. “Is that what this is all about? Nobody will fear you, because you have only one leg?”

  Lil Fade turned away from Travon and again stared at the ceiling. “I didn’t ask you to come here!”

  “I know. I had to come.”

  “I know, because I saved you. Because you had to come and decide on the spot whether or not to kill me.” Lil Fade stared into Travon’s eyes, with his own tear-filled ones. “Please…”

  Travon turned away from him. “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked nervously.

  Lil Fade pounded the metal bed railing. “I can’t bail outta the car any longer, I can’t go anywhere or do anything anymore! My life is over. Everything I know how to do is over! Tre, I can feel again. I’m not a monsta.”

  Lil Fade began crying heavily. Tears streamed down Travon’s face as he leaned over and embraced the one person in life who had touched upon his every emotion. The person who he feared the most, the person who had killed for him, the person who made him take lives, and the person who gave him life.

  After all of the blood and all the killing, Lil Fade was human again. For several moments the two boys embraced, as Lil Fade let out years of pain. Tears flowed continuously from his bandaged body and broken soul. When finally they no longer embraced, Travon stared into Lil Fade’s eyes. They were no longer the cold, lifeless, penetrating eyes that brought fear to many. Now they were the tired eyes of a scared boy.

  “Tre, you can make it,” Lil Fade whispered.

/>   Travon recoiled. “What?”

  “Everything I told you was wrong, and everything Taariq said was right. Go to him.”

  Travon frowned. “What?”

  “Go to him,” Lil Fade repeated. “Don’t try to fight it by yourself, it’s addictive. Once you’ve started, you can’t stop. It’ll always be your first resort, and your defense mechanism. You’ll always use it to fall back on.”

  Travon lifted his shoulders and shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

  “Violence, murder. You’ve tasted blood, you’ve tasted power. It consumes you.” Lil Fade turned and stared into Travon’s eyes. “Tre, you have to kill Baby-Low.”

  “Is that the medicine talking, or you?”

  Lil Fade lifted his finger. “One last death. You have to kill Baby-Low, in order to save Travon.”

  Travon nodded and looked down. He understood.

  “Tre, I need you to do me a favor. Capone is coming up here, and I don’t want him to see me like this.”

  Travon turned, grabbed Lil Fade’s bed sheets, and spread them back over his body.

  Lil Fade shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

  Travon stared into Lil Fade’s eyes, and upon realizing what he meant, shook his head and stepped back. “No.”

  Lil Fade nodded. “Yes. You said it yourself, I’m a monster. And monsters need to be put to sleep.”

  Travon’s eyes flew wide and he shook his head again. “No.”

  Lil Fade closed his eyes and nodded slowly. “Yes. If you ever thought you owed me anything, for the park, for the witness, for the motel, or for the car wash, then you’ll help me. Please…” Tears streamed down Lil Fade’s cheeks again.

  “This is the easy way out,” Travon told him. He shifted his eyes toward the floor.

  Lil Fade lifted his hand and pointed out of the hospital window. “If I go back out there, they’ll shoot me dead anyway. Let me spare myself the humiliation!”

  Travon lifted his head and stared into Lil Fade’s eyes. “You weren’t merciful to none of those people, and now you want mercy? You even dragged me down into your twisted little world and made me kill!”

  “You didn’t kill those people, I did! I did! And now it’s eating me up inside.” Lil Fade began crying heavily again.

  Travon shook his head, and his own tears cascaded down. “Even on your way out, you leave scars.”

  Travon reached beneath his shirt and pulled out his brother’s nine-millimeter Beretta. He pulled back the slide and chambered a round, knowing that Lil Fade would be too weak to do so. He laid the gun in the bed next to Lil Fade’s hand, and took the sheets and rubbed them over the gun, removing his fingerprints. It would be the last time that this gun would kill.

  “Thank you,” Lil Fade told him through tear-filled eyes. He lifted his hand, and Travon clasped it. Lil Fade shook his head. “I can’t live like this. I don’t wanna live like this. A one-legged albino?”

  Travon laughed, and Lil Fade smiled.

  “I’m scared, Tre. Can you believe that, I’m scared?”

  Travon looked down. “I’m scared too,” he told him softly.

  “Of what?” Lil Fade asked with a frown.

  “Of tomorrow. Of the next day, and the day after. I’m scared of the rest of my life.”

  Lil Fade closed his eyes and nodded. “I know. I’m more scared of living than I am of dying. I kinda feel sorry for you guys. At least for me it’s over.” Lil Fade shook his head and smiled. “No more killing, no more banging, no more drive-bys, no more funerals, no more cases, no more courts, lawyers, jails. No more pain, or worries, or trouble. It’s all over.”

  Travon leaned forward and whispered into Lil Fade’s ear, “BSV for life.”

  Lil Fade shook his head and broke down into tears. “Don’t say that. Don’t say that.” He released Travon’s hand. “Go now, just go.”

  Travon patted Lil Fade’s shoulder, turned, and headed for the door.

  “Take care of Capone for me,” Lil Fade told him. “And I’ll tell Too-Low…that you’re gonna be all right.”

  Travon paused and closed his eyes, biting down on his bottom lip in an effort to hold back his tears. He walked out of the room, gently closing the door behind himself.

  Travon walked rapidly to the elevator, rode it down to the first floor, and strode out into the parking lot. About halfway to his car, he heard the faint sound of a gunshot. He arched his back and stared into the sky. He was released. Blood in, Blood out. Lil Fade had fulfilled the grim prophecy with his own blood.

  Travon closed his eyes and bit down upon his lip again, but this time it did not work. The tears came. They streamed down his face, as he climbed into his car and drove away. Inside of his car he began to think hard about his life, about tomorrow, and about his future. He thought about his children, and his family. He thought about Justin, and Frog, and of how they used to play marbles and toy soldiers together while growing up in the Courts.

  Travon thought of the football games, the playground, and the basketball court. He thought of his brother, and his death, and the first beating that he’d received at the hands of Quentin and Tech Nine. His mind jumped to his arrival in the Heights, and all of the people he had met, the things he had learned, and the things he had done. He thought of the little girl swinging in the park, just like he used to do when he was her age. He thought about Tamika, the twins, and her death. He thought of Poison, and the baby that they were going to have. He recalled all of the things that Mr. and Mrs. Chang had told him. He thought of the old lady, the crooked lawyer, the crooked police officers, the drug raids, and the juvenile.

  Travon thought of Mrs. Davis, and the mothers of the other boys who died that day. He thought about the park shooting, the concert, and all of the deaths before, after, and in between. Lil Fade was right, there had to be one last death. Mr. Chang was right, there was another way. Taariq was right; they were just young brothers killing one another over nothing.

  Soon, Travon arrived at his destination. He stepped out of his car, closed the door, and peered up toward the sky. Those beautiful South Texas evenings were gone. Now, there was nothing but darkness and rain. The heavens opened, lightning illuminated the sky, and the loud awakening clap of thunder roared across the city. The thunder was deafening. It shook his soul and vibrated the very essence of his being. The lightning flashed again, and it illuminated all. It brought light to all of the dark hiding places within. It illuminated his mind, it illuminated his soul. And finally, finally the rains came.

  The torrential waters flowed down upon him heavily, as he stood in the parking lot and extended his arms toward the heavens. He closed his hands, clenching them tightly. It was as though he were shaking the hands of God and forming a new covenant. The rains, they were purifying, drenching, and thoroughly cleansing. They washed away the blood upon his hands; they washed away the blood upon his soul. They mixed with the tears streaming down his face, washing them away as well.

  Standing in the center of the parking lot, Travon shivered, as the tears and cool rains came falling down. Finally, he turned and slowly walked inside the mosque where Baby-Low would slowly die, and in his place would be born Shaheed. A man, a father, a SURVIVOR…

  EPILOGUE

  Travon Robinson Travon went back to school and received his high school diploma from Competency Based High School. With Poison’s help, he was able to enroll in a local college, graduate, and go on to law school. He and Poison are now married, and live together with their three children on the city’s North side.

  Poison Whose real name is Camilla Jones, finished her last two years of college and went straight into her graduate studies. She recently graduated with a doctorate in computer science, and now works as a computer engineer at a local research center. Camilla adopted Travon’s two sons and is now raising them as her own. She also volunteers religiously at the Eastside YWCA and is a Big Sister to several inner-city youths.

  Darius He went back to school, and then on
to college. He is now a schoolteacher in the poor San Antonio Independent School District. He married Sheila, Frog’s sister, and they now have two beautiful children.

  Marcus After Marcus rose to become head of the Blood Stone Villains, he then walked away from it all. He joined the Navy, served on an aircraft carrier during Operation Desert Storm, Kosovo, and Operation Enduring Freedom off the coast of Pakistan. He is now a Navy recruiter in Philadelphia.

  Capone Alexander aka Capone was serving a sixty-year state prison term, for killing a Blood in the Rigsby in retaliation for Lil Fade’s shooting. His case was recently reaffirmed on appeal; however, it has recently been dropped to a twenty-year non-aggravated sentence.

  Romeo Jerome aka Romeo went on to college, but later dropped out. He is now married, and works for the city of San Francisco.

  Chicken She is now in her third year of residency at University Hospital. She was recently married to a doctor at the hospital where she previously worked.

  Elmira Travon’s mother went on to finish school and become a registered nurse. She moved out of the Wheatley Courts and into a nice apartment complex on the city’s Northeast side of town. She subsequently enrolled in a second work-study program, where she became a nurse anesthetist. She now drives a Lexus GS 450.

  Vera Still a registered nurse at the same hospital, Vera lives in the same two-story Victorian-style home in the Denver Heights.

  LaTonya Married a lieutenant who was stationed at Fort Sam Houston. She graduated from Incarnate Word College with a degree in biology. Today she and her husband live in Georgia where he is stationed. They have been blessed with a son.

  Robert Jr. A major drug dealer, Robert Jr. is still dealing drugs and using violence to expand his narcotics empire. His ruthlessness and entrepreneurial spirit have made him a millionaire several times over. He uses Bloods from the city to move his product, and has bodyguards for protection.