Semper Fi (An Erotic Romance)

by Laura B. Cooper

The room was floor to ceiling strewn with clothes, boxes and memorabilia. Blue walls highlighted countless pictures of Leila, photos taken with Logan holding her tightly next to him during a strong wind. Photos taken by professional photographers for their engagement and even photos of Leila with Logan’s parents, some of the pictures were near mural sized.

  But that’s not what attracted my attention. The room was filled with sex toys. There were odd ropes hanging from strong eyebolts in the ceiling, several chains, and array of whips and what appeared to me to be torture items. I’d never seen anything like it. CRAP! Patricia and Gracie had been right! The Senator was torturing women. There were barely enough open spaces on the floor to walk. Clearly this was a place where the Senator played his naughty games. Of course now I understood why Logan hadn’t wanted me to see it.

  I felt more than uncomfortable here though, as if she was still alive in this room. I plopped down on the bed and stared around the room. My fingers instantly fidgeted with a thick fleece blanket on the bed. There was embroidery on it. I lifted it up in my hands and laughed.

  Mandy and Monica stood at the open doorway; Monica pushed her way inside and sat down next to me. “She was a Zeta huh?”

  Now with my sisters surrounding me I couldn’t help but think of the irony. Even in this morbid scene, we were still debating sororities. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.

  “What should I do?” I whispered gazing at Leila’s belongings strewn throughout the frightening array of sexual devices.

  Mandy shook her head, “No clue. This is fucking freaky though.”

  Monica chimed in, “You have two choices really. You can tell him you came in here and get it all out or we can lock this door back and pretend it never existed. I think Logan will get rid of it all eventually. Maybe he’s gotta deal with this himself?”

  I nodded. Maybe he did, this wasn’t my place. I had no position in his screwed up past. I thought of Travis, just like Logan had no place in mine. Logan still hadn’t asked me what had happened he’d just been happy I’d chosen him. Not once during the times he was conscious had he questioned me.

  I took my sister’s hands. “You know you’re right. I have to trust him.” I stood up pulling them with me. “Let’s get outta here. Logan’s waiting for me back at the hospital.”

  Mandy pulled the door closed behind us and I used the key to lock it.

  “Hang on a second; let me at least turn this light off.” I mentioned flipping the lock open again.”

  “Okay we’re going to get dressed.” Mandy and Monica wandered up to their room on the third floor.

  I pushed open the door my hand ready to reach in and flip the light switch to the off position. As I did I noticed something out of place. The light in the closet was still on. I climbed over the piles of Leila’s things in the room and made my way towards the closet. Now I knew it was a closet shared by both rooms so the light emanating from it needed to be turned off.

  I pulled the door open and scanned the wall with my hand for the switch. Something caught my hand in the upper corner of the wall. It jangled as my hand touched it. I stepped further inside the closet and peered up. It was a chain hanging from a nail. Wait, that wasn’t a nail, it was bolted to the wall. I stared at it frightened. There was human hair caught in several of the links of the chain, blond human hair. I stumbled a bit on the throw rug on the floor below me and leaned on the shelves on the other side of the closet for balance.

  An eerie chill raced through me. I didn’t want to be in this closet another second. I left the light on and leapt over the boxes to the door of the room. I slammed it shut and locked the dead bolt. No one should EVER go in there again! My heart pounded as I leaned against the locked door behind me. A hatred beyond anything I’d ever felt before was burning inside me, Senator David McNarry was its source.

  Chapter 24

  I walked across the stage and took my hard earned diploma from the college President. I could see Logan sitting with my family far in the middle of the crowd on onlookers. Marlene was still having exams and wasn’t here. I doubted her excuse, but since I wasn’t ready to deal with her yet I ignored her vacant seat. Logan was walking now albeit, with a cane and a visible limp. He swore by January the twenty sixth he would not be walking with the cane. He wanted to stand on his own two feet at our wedding.

  There still had been no motion to discuss Leila or the room. After what I’d seen in there, I wasn’t anxious to hear another word about what went on in that room. As far as I could see it was locked tight. All of my belongings now covered the floor in the bedroom Logan and I now claimed as ours. It was uncomfortable to think that Leila’s former belongings and…hair in the room right next to ours. I knew Logan had been in there, or someone had, because the light had been turned off. As I struggled to keep up with Logan’s healing and my own final exams I tried to keep the room off my mind. I have to admit, the only times I slept well were the times we had to stay at my apartment because of studying and exams.

  My family had flown in only an hour before Graduation. It’d been a rush, but Ronald had gotten them all there and in their seats before I’d been directed to mine. After Graduation we headed to a lovely quiet restaurant near Logan’s downtown home. Dinner was filled with conversation regarding Logan’s leg, and my sister’s new careers, and of course Logan and my futures. Elise sat quietly with her nurse at the head of the table. She seemed to be regarding us all silently but Gracie sat on her left keeping us all entertained. A few times I was sure she was laughing at Gracie’s silly recounts of Logan as a child. She was surely telling all the adolescent secrets that Elise had always planned on telling her son’s fiancé. But she sat in silence. My mother doted on her throughout dinner but Elise remained incognizant of our relation to her. It was painful to see how much Logan missed her, even though she was sitting in front of him. Every time someone mentioned a past event that she’d been a part of Logan’s eyes flashed to her, hoping to see her remember. Elise’s eyes never flickered.

  In the end Logan and Dad battled over the bill for dinner and Dad won.

  I walked with Logan to help his mother and her dutiful nurse into their waiting car. Logan kissed his mother on the cheek and helped her inside. As I turned to walk back towards our car Elise grabbed my hand. Logan halted watching the interaction with curiosity. Elise pulled my hand, bringing me close to her. I bent down to listen carefully.

  “He didn’t kill that girl.” Her voice was crisp and legible. I was stunned, not only by her words, but that she’d been unaware all during dinner and suddenly she was herself again? It made no sense. I was starting to wonder if Elise McNarry wasn’t putting on an act with this Alzheimer’s thing.

  “Well then who did Elise?” I spoke to her as though I’d known her forever.

  “His father did,” she sighed, clasping my hand tightly. “Logan should know that. Tell him.” She let go of my hand and stared straight ahead in the car. It was like she suddenly blanked out. I had so many questions! “Elise?” I panicked, “Elise! Tell him what?” Did she mean I should tell Logan that his father killed Leila? That was impossible. Leila’s body had been found, thrown from her car, after the accident. Elise was no longer available for my questions; she was in her own world now.

  I must’ve looked stricken when I turned to face Logan. He had watched the interaction but hadn’t made a move towards us. As her car raced off into the frigid night he grabbed me. “What did she say?” His voice sounded far past alarmed.

  “She… uh… oh Logan.” I buried my face in his thick cashmere coat and cried.

  He pushed me away abruptly, “Tell me what the fuck she said, Mattie!”

  I’d never heard Logan so angry, a shiver of fear shot through me. “She said you didn’t kill that girl.”

  He held me at arm’s length searching my face. “Did she tell you who did?”

  I nodded tears streaming down my face. “Your Dad.”

  He calmed, “She said that?”

  I nodded
again, catching my breath from my sobs. He bundled me closer against the whipping wind of the parking lot. For the first time I was afraid of Logan. I knew my parents and sisters were watching from the enclosed car with interest. One wrong move on his part and Dad and my sisters would be on him like spider monkeys. I took a long breath. “Logan, at some point you’re going to have to tell me what happened.”

  He kissed the top of my head. “I know baby, I know. I’m a fucking idiot for not telling you by now. Tell you what, let’s get home and I’ll tell you everything. If you’re going to be a McNarry, you need to know what secrets we have so you can hide them too.” He sighed, he was distraught. “I just wanted to protect you from it all.”

  I clutched him tightly, “Who’s going to protect me from you?” I whispered still in shock at his sudden outburst of anger.

  He pulled me close, “Baby I’m sorry. I don’t deserve you and I know it. But one thing you need to know above all else.” I looked up into his green eyes waiting, “You never, ever have any reason to fear me. Listen, old habits die hard, but I’d rather die than cause you pain.”

  He wiped the tears from my face and tucked wisps of hair behind my ears. “You are so beautiful tonight and I couldn’t be more proud that you are mine. Come home with me, climb in my bed and let me show you what I mean?”

  I snuggled against him in the car; the chill was wearing on me. Logan pressed in beside me in the tightly packed back seat. His lips slightly touched my ear as he whispered, “I have a surprise for you when we get home.”

  I chilled and pulled him closer. “I hope it’s the same surprise you had for me last night!” I responded in a whisper.

  Logan pretended to scan the close surroundings of my family and act shocked.

  Monica and Mandy scoured my face sending me unspoken messages asking if everything was okay. I confirmed that it was but silently I was shaken by Elise’s message and Logan’s sudden outburst of anger towards it.

  Chapter 25

  As Ronald held open the car doors and helped my Mom, Dad, Mandy and Monica with their luggage, I struggled with my key to the front door. Logan pushed the door open and stood aside for me to enter. I flicked on the lights throughout the downstairs, parts of the home already felt comfortable to me as if I’d been here forever. Aside from the awkward scenario of the upstairs room the house was starting to feel like a home.

  Logan pointed upstairs. “Go on up and show your family where to put their stuff.” He kissed me lightly on the cheek. “Oh and baby?”

  “Yep.” I looked up at him.

  “Congratulations.”

  I kissed him appropriately in front of my parents and led them up the massive staircase. I was on the top step before I realized my surroundings had changed. All of the bedroom doors on the second floor were standing open. There were a total of five bedrooms in the house, three on the second floor and two on the third. Of course the door traditionally locked was my main focus. I stepped towards it hesitantly and moved towards the threshold. Mandy and Monica pushed to my side. Our gasp was cohesive. The room had been stripped of anything resembling Leila or the Senator. Walls had been painted, new elaborate furniture decorated the room, and artwork not photos now covered the walls. I grabbed Monica and Mandy’s hands beside me and whispered. “He did it.” They both hugged me tightly.

  But that wasn’t the end of Logan’s secretive designing. All three rooms on the second floor had been completely stripped and redone. I found my personal belongings in the Master Bedroom. No longer did the room resemble an old man’s misery, instead it was covered from floor to ceiling in solid white. The effect was mesmerizing. The shades ranged from artic white to sand as the modern design spread through the room. I felt Logan’s breath on my neck behind me, “Do you like it?”

  I turned around and put both hands around his neck. “Oh Logan it’s stunning! When did you do this?”

  “I admit I had it done. It’s not like I stood in there with a paintbrush or anything. But I picked it all out, that should count for something. They came in here today painted and arranged it all.”

  “Oh Logan it’s amazing!” I exclaimed.

  “And you noticed we gained a room?” Logan peered down at me questioningly.

  “I did, listen Logan you didn’t have to get rid…”

  Logan smirked but wound his hands into my curled locks, “Gracie told me you were in there. It’s alright, I should have told you how messed up it was. It was part of my past I didn’t want to deal with so I kept it locked. But you know…it sure felt good watching it all being hauled off. It was cleansing in a way.”

  I pulled myself around his waist to be closer to him. “Thank you Logan.” I mustered though I was close to tears. “You didn’t just throw it all out though right?” Suddenly the thought that all of Leila’s belongings rotting in a dumpster somewhere seemed alarming to me. As though she’d existed and poof now all sign of her is just gone.

  Logan laughed heartily, “Oh no, her Mother sent a truck for all of her things. She’s been trying to get that stuff from me for a long time.”

  Suddenly I felt almost sorry for the vicious Patricia Johnson. Wanting to have parts and pieces of her only child, just small reminders of her, back again, I couldn’t hate her for that. “Well that’s really sad.” I added still taken aback by all the work that’d been done in the room around me.

  Logan pulled my hair until my face was staring directly into his, “Ow!” I fussed.

  “Don’t ever feel sorry for that bitch.” Logan pushed me down in an overstuffed white chair near the door. I plopped down roughly. “Let me tell you what really happened Mattie, if you’re going to be part of this messed up family then it’s your right to know it all.” His massive body bent to sit on the arm rest of my chair.

  “The accident that killed Leila wasn’t my fault. I’ve known that forever. Leila showed up a frat party I was at, bruised and hurt badly. I’d had enough, and put her in the car to take her home before heading to my Dad’s house to confront him. She was pregnant you know.” He coughed to clear his throat. “Because my car was in the shop, we took Leila’s.” Logan struggled with his words; he was choking on each one it seemed. “Anyway, we were headed back to her house when the car lost its brakes. Out of control, we spun off the road and into the tree line. I woke up in the hospital, and they told me Leila was thrown from the car and died on impact.

  Two days later, I went to the mechanic’s shop where they had taken her car. I’d actually been there before getting oil changes and stuff, and had chatted with the owner. He said he’d freaked out when he saw her car being towed in. So he took it upon himself to examine it. You know, thinking there’d be an investigation and he could help. Of course there was no investigation. It was classified as a horrible accident and that was it. But he told me how surprised he was to see me walking in his shop. He said the brake fluid lines on the car had been severed with a knife.” Logan reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny pocket knife he always carried. “I’m fairly sure it was this one.”

  “Oh my God!” I exclaimed. “Who would’ve done that?”

  Logan looked at me skeptically, “There was never any doubt who it was, it was my Dad... this was his knife.”

  “But why would he want Leila,” and I gasped, “and you, dead?”

  Logan sat quiet, these memories were painful and it showed. “Because Leila was pregnant and the child was his. The accident was the perfect solution to his problem. He didn’t know I would be driving her car. I doubt he was trying to kill me, but I don’t think he would’ve shed a tear either.”

  I’d heard a similar account from Gracie, but she’d told me that Logan didn’t know about Leila and his father.

  “Dad had a rough idea about getting his jollies. Mom dealt with it for years. I’d ask her as a child how she got those marks on her, and she always made excuses. Then Patricia started showing up with the same marks on her. After years of seeing those bruises, I recognized them easily enough when
Leila started getting them.”

  I touched Logan’s thigh with my fingers, drawing tiny circles on his good leg with my finger.

  “All I wanted was to marry her and get her away from him. That’s why I went along with his screwy plan to marry her and say the baby was mine in the first place. Apparently in the end he decided that wasn’t good enough, Leila being dead was better for him.” He shifted on the arm of the chair. “That night, the night of the accident, she was supposed to be at her Mom’s working on wedding plans. Instead she came here for a last freaky night with my father. After a few hours with my dad, she left and met me at the party. Like I said she was distraught and hurt.”

  “Have you ever found out why?” I asked timidly.

  He nodded sadly, “Not for a while. I stayed locked up in my room for months, and then I unlocked his wicked torture room.” Again his voice shook uncontrollably. He was facing his worst memories.

  He continued, “I confronted my father about it all that night. He started screaming at me, veins bulging in his neck the whole time. She wanted it, he kept saying. It turned her on, she begged him to tie her up so he did. He watched television downstairs as she pleaded for mercy. The twisted bastard told me she never used her safe word so he let her scream.”

  “Logan, it’s horrible.” I exclaimed.

  “You’re right about that. But that’s not all of it. After Leila was gone, her Mother somehow found out what happened. I’m sure she guessed it; she and Dad had a thing going a long time ago. She hated him before but now that he’d killed her daughter she mentally tortured him. She blackmailed Dad until the day he died. I mean she badgered him mercilessly telling him the entire world would know about how he’d killed her daughter. I’m sure it was the cause of his final heart attack.”

  Logan stood up next to me. “Of course it didn’t matter; Dad paid her whatever she wanted, after all his reputation was at stake. That’s all that mattered to him, his reputation. I ran off to the Marines to get away from the bastard and Mom ran off to retirement.”