by J. L. Drake
“I needed this,” he said, more to himself. “Ten fucking years.”
I went to say something but he started to move, and his arm flexed above me and gripped the headboard. I couldn’t stop the rush that appeared. It tipped me over the edge and went roaring south without an end in sight.
Keith didn’t stop; he just took my climax and stretched it for as long as possible. Right as I landed, he came with roar. Every muscle locked in place as if he were stone.
I forgot how much I missed his face when he lost control. It almost made me want to try for round three.
My body was spent; I didn’t think I’d be able to move.
Flopping to the side, he wrapped his arm around my limp body and buried his nose in my hair.
“Ten fucking years.”
We lay together for a while until my dry mouth begged me for water.
***
Brown spread across the crispy crust, changing the shape.
“It’s going to burn.” Keith shook his head. We had been around the fire pit for an hour, and I saw no end in sight when it came to stopping my midnight snack.
“You dare question my s’mores cooking?”
His hands went up. “I’m just saying I live in the woods, and I know how to cook a marshmallow. You are going to burn it.”
I smirked. “The woods, hey?”
His face twisted; he had slipped again.
“I have never slipped up before.” He shook his head.
I held up the perfectly brown marshmallow. “Yeah, that doesn’t look perfect at all.” I inspected it further. “However, yours…”
“Shit,” he yelped when it caught on fire.
“Who’s the Boy Scout now?”
He laughed and ditched the stick, taking his beer instead. We sat for a while longer staring at the fire in silence. I was always comfortable with him like this. He was just easy.
“What do those numbers mean?” I pointed to his left forearm where it said 10-13-98 in black script.
“Just a date I wanted to remember.”
“Ninety-eight.” I quickly did the math. “Ninety-eight was the year we met.”
“Yup.” He nodded and took a swig of beer.
I began to mull over what happened to Keith that year. I wasn’t sure why October was so important.
“The first year, I was only in Iraq.” His voice was low. “We spent most of September on lockdown. It was maddening. I wanted to be out there, but enemy troops were spotted around our area. I ended up making a good friend named Tikaani. He was from Alaska. His family owned a homemade jewelry shop that specialized in unique diamond cuts.” His gaze fluttered up to mine. “He knew I was in the market for a ring.” My stomach dropped. “I drew up what I wanted, and it was ready for me by the time I arrived home. It’s stunning, actually, and it’s exactly what I wanted, even had the engraving 10-13-98 on it. The first day you walked into my life, and the first and only time I ever fell in love.”
My nose prickled as my eyes started to water. How could I have been so stupid? I felt like I failed myself. Something did, however, catch my attention.
“It’s?” I needed to know why he said this in present tense.
Nodding, he leaned his forearms on his knees and held his beer between his fingers. “After you left, I told myself I had ten years to hold onto it. If in that time we weren’t together, I’d sell it, and it would be me letting go.”
I felt the sting of his words, and I welcomed the pain. This whole time, I never once put myself in his shoes as to what my break-up did to him. My hope was he’d find someone better suited for him. I had become so dark inside it wasn’t something I want to spread to others, especially him.
“Carlos.” He broke my spiraling thoughts. “He’s my diamond seller. He found me a buyer, but I just can’t go through with the sale.”
“Keith,” I whispered, but my voice broke.
“Please, don’t.” He leaned back and shook his head. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted you to know who Carlos is, that’s all.”
I swallowed the massive lump in my throat and went back to looking at the fire. My emotions had been like a yo-yo since Keith walked back into my life. It was painful, but on the other hand, it had resurfaced so many good memories. Ones that made me remember a time when I felt loved and protected and happy.
Keith set his beer down and headed into the bedroom. When he closed the door, I broke down and let it all out into the pillow. God, it felt great to loosen some of the laces around my chest.
How could life be so complicated one moment, and the next make perfect sense?
Had I changed too much to be the woman he thought I was? Sometimes I wasn’t even sure who I was myself.
“Lexi.” Keith came to the door in his jeans and a ball hat. “Come to bed with me.”
I nodded, wiped my eyes dry, and joined him.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Keith
Lexi seemed to be quiet this morning. I pretended not to notice over breakfast. Mark was in full swing with his jokes and helped to keep the mood light. Savannah, on the other hand, looked like she had a little too much to drink and sported sunglasses and kept shaking her head at Mia, who looked to be in the same shape but for a different reason.
“Rough night, ladies?” I smirked and tapped Savannah’s shades.
“Mark had a brilliant idea to play a drinking game, and needless to say, I lost.”
“Or did you win?” Mark piped up. “You did win a sexy dance from yours truly.”
Cole glanced at me, and I raised my hands. “None of my business what you do behind closed doors.”
“Mark lost his traveling rights,” Cole hissed, then completely deadpan, said, “But the man can dance.”
Savannah started to laugh, hitting the table then her head. “Ohh, I hate you all.”
Mark chuckled, then looked at Lexi. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ve saved the best moves for you at the wedding.”
She rubbed her arms uncomfortably. “I’m not sure if I can make it.”
“You will.” I wrapped my arm around the back of her chair.
“I will?”
Leaning in, I kissed her collarbone. “I’ll explain later.”
On the drive back and on the plane ride, Lexi stared out the window, only talking when I asked her a question. No doubt she was shutting down and preparing for what was to come.
After we made it back to Boston, we stopped for a quick bite to eat. I noticed Lexi barely touched her sandwich. I wanted to her to open up, but now wasn’t the time.
My phone beeped, and I asked her to read it.
Clark: 1-10.
“Type back the same numbers.”
She did and put it back in the center console.
“Thanks.”
“What does that mean?”
I checked my blind spot and eased over. “It means we have a cover story ready for you, on why you were gone.”
“What? Really?”
“You went to visit your old family friend. You hired him as the bondsman for Antonio and his crew. They won’t be getting out for three more days.” I glanced over. “So I want you to come to Three’s wedding with me. That is, if you want to.”
“I, ah…” She paused, then surprised me when she reached over and took my hand. “I’d love to.”
A grin shot across my face, and I kissed her hand.
“Okay, so you hired a bondsman who was a family friend. You left because you needed the help to bail them out, and…”
“No offense, Keith, but they won’t buy that.”
I pulled my sunglasses down and gave her a look. “Glovebox.”
Inside was a file folder with receipts for a hotel, food, car service, and the bonds bill.
Sifting through the papers in disbelief, she looked over at me. “So you bailed them out?”
“Well, I did put them in there.”
She shrugged. “Okay, wow. Oh! What about Elliot? When do I get to see him?”
> “He arrived back this morning.”
“Damn, you thought of everything.”
“Not everything,” I muttered.
Lexi looked down at her hands, then pulled out her phone and sent a text, and a few seconds later she looked up, smiling.
“Do you mind if you drop me off at my parents’? Elliot wants to meet there. We need to chat about a few things.”
“Sure, just call me when you want to be picked up.”
“Thanks.”
I dropped her off and saw her disappear into the graveyard. I wished I knew how she was feeling.
***
“Pink or yellow?” Three held up a couple of photos of Gerber daisies.
Two was behind her and held up a finger.
“Pink,” I said while I desperately fought off a yawn.
“I think so too.” She placed it on top of her ‘yes’ pile.
“Okay, table chart or color chart?”
Two again held up one finger.
“Table chart.”
“Ha, that’s what I think too.” She beamed at me. “See, you need to be home more to help me with these things. A male’s touch is always appreciated.”
When she turned to the side, Two and I high-fived in the air. She always had my back on the girl stuff.
Nan set a drink in front of me and motioned for me to follow her out front.
“No, Nan, I need him,” Three pouted.
“I may not be here ten minutes from now, dear. I veto you.”
“Nice, Nan.” I chuckled, picking up the much-needed drink, thankful for the out. “Three, I think you got this covered. You know you’re going to do an amazing job regardless of what any of us think.”
“True.” She sighed, then pulled out another binder and called out for One, who dashed upstairs.
Once outside, Nan parked her wheelchair next to the door and moved to her rocking chair. She waited for me to join her.
“You find out who Two has been seeing?” I settled in, and when Nan didn’t answer, I looked over and saw her face.
“I did.”
“And?”
“And I’m not really sure how you’re going to take it.”
“Well, that’s a great opening.”
She sipped her scotch and took a moment. “Normally, I would wait and let her tell you, but I don’t think she will. She’s too scared, and honestly, I don’t blame her.”
“I’ll be fine as long as it isn’t anyone associated with the Almas Perdidas gang.”
She cleared her throat. “Not exactly.”
“Come on, Nan, out with it.”
“It’s Clark.”
Clark! I nodded as I let that sink in. I wanted to be mad that my best friend didn’t say a word about seeing my baby sis. On the other hand, I didn’t think I could have matched a better pair. Wow, I actually surprised myself at how accepting I was. What the hell is wrong with me?
“I really need you to say something right now, because your father has a tranquilizer gun I could use if you’re going to attack them.”
“No, I’m happy for them.”
“You are?” Two shouted from the doorway. I turned to find her wide-eyed at her outburst.
“Oh, so now you’re getting Nan to do your dirty work?”
“I didn’t want you going all big brother on me, and Nan and you have this weird bond, so yes, I used her as a shield to soften the blow.”
“She’s got you there, kid.” Nan ditched her empty glass and moved on to her backup flask.
Two moved to lean against the rail diagonally across from me.
“How long?”
She scratched her chin. “Six months.”
“Is he good to you?”
“Very.” She nodded without a missing a beat.
“Why Clark?” I had to know. He’d been like her big brother since we were kids.
“Why are you best friends with him? Because he’s a great person with a huge heart. He makes me happy, and we have a lot of fun together. Not sure if it will last, but I hope it does.”
I smiled at Nan. “Where did my pigtailed, snot nose, little shadow go?”
Two tucked her hands in her pockets. “I grew up, but don’t think for one second I don’t still need you.”
“Whoop, work those buns, Patrick!” Nan suddenly yelled out to our new neighbor who had taken up running…though I wasn’t sure for how much longer now that he was being verbally harassed by Nan.
Patrick’s mouth dropped open as he looked over his shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m talking to you, sweet cheeks.”
“Oh. My. God.” I covered my mouth in horror while Two just shook her head.
“See what she’s turned into? She’s flippin’ Betty White.”
Nan batted her hip to move. “Look at that ass. I could just bite it.”
“On that note.” I stood and hurried inside.
***
Lexi
The graveyard was empty, like it normally was these days. Elliot was on the bench looking straight forward. I saw the bandage over his eye and I wanted to run to him. My poor brother.
“Hi.” I gave a small wave. “Are you okay?”
“No.” His tone was flat, but he took my hand and pulled it so I would cuddle with him on the bench. The last time we did this was when I was sobbing in my bedroom right after our parents died. “Lost all use of the eye. Will sure made his point.” Before I could get upset, he moved on. “Where have you been?”
“Working on bail bondsmen and stuff.” Skipping the part about my weekend, which was obviously better than his had been.
“You’re a bad liar.” He chuckled darkly. “I’m just glad you’re back.”
I wasn’t.
“El, can I ask you something?”
He shifted so he could see me better. “Yeah.”
I really didn’t like the feeling that went along with this question.
“Why did you tell Keith four years ago that I was happy and with Juan when you knew I certainly wasn’t? Juan and I were becoming friends, but you knew how unhappy and lost I was without Keith.” His face fell, but he kept his good eye on me. “You made him leave. Why?”
“Would you have left?”
“Maybe not right away, but yeah, we could have left this hell and had a better life. Who knows where we’d be right now. I’m just confused, El. Why would you do that to me?”
He let out a long sigh and rested a hand on top of mine.
“I thought you wanted to be here at that point, and Juan was around. I thought you liked him.”
I sat up straighter. What was he talking about? “That’s not true. I never wanted to be here, Elliot. You did, not me. Why would you tell the one person you knew loved me and wanted me to leave and forget about me?”
“Don’t put that on me. You did a stellar job of that years ago, Lexi.”
“Ouch,” I whispered and wrapped my arms about my mid-section.
“Yeah, that was low. I’m sorry.” He stood with a huff and paused for a moment, then his face grew anxious and pale. “Look, Lexi, bottom line was I was afraid of losing you. I know I was being selfish but I didn’t want you to leave.”
I wanted to be furious with him for his words, but I pushed it aside because I did understand that feeling. “I would never have left you here, El, never. I really wish you hadn’t done that, but I guess I get it.”
I suddenly felt the need to do something I’d been thinking about. I pulled my phone free and started to type. Elliot’s gasp when he looked over my shoulder at what I wrote told me he didn’t agree, but I didn’t care.
Lexi: It’s Lexi. Check the south gate, fourth container in. DR member is waiting for you.
Before I tucked it away, I got a response.
Clark: You just made my year. Stay safe. Delete these messages.
If anything happened to me, I needed to know I left this world doing something right. I quickly deleted the texts.
“Come on.” I motioned for him to join
me closer to our parents. We sat together and lit a joint, passing it between us as we studied their headstones.
Elliot pulled his sleeves down when a gust of wind came by, kicking up leaves and swirling them into mini portals.
“Are you happy Keith is back?”
I nodded and picked a piece of grass free from dirt. “Yeah, I think so, but it’s been hard letting those feelings back in again.”
“We need to get out of here, Lexi. I can’t keep doing this.”
“I know.” I moved to lean against Mom’s stone, pretending she was here with us. “I just need a little more time, then we’ll go.”
“It’s been a year since—”
“I know.” I cut him off. It wasn’t worth the risk even saying it out loud.
“You sure this is going to work?”
“Christ, I hope so.”
Elliot rubbed his head like something was bothering him.
“What is it? Just say it, El.”
He covered his mouth and puffed out his cheeks. He was really struggling. Which, in turn, made me nervous.
“I need to tell you something without you freaking out on me.”
“That’s not the best line to start with.”
“Fuck me, I’m going to be sick.” His face went pale. What the hell was he keeping from me?
“I know you think Juan was the one who got you into the gang, but it wasn’t.”
My stomach twisted. Excuse me?
“Antonio told me I could skip the initiation if I…” He paused to try to read my expression, but I just stared back at him. “If I brought you into the gang. I had showed Juan your photo, and he…he really wanted you.”
What? I stood on shaky legs, my world spinning. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“You sold me out, your own sister, so you could get out of killing someone?” Saying it like that wasn’t helping my case, but he knew what I meant. “Why in the world did you even want to be with these assholes?”