by J. L. Drake
“The girl…she was what I needed at the time—”
“What, you couldn’t get a chick anywhere else?” I could feel my heart break. “So you told Juan he could ‘have’ me after we lost our parents! I was lost and alone, so you just figured he would, what? Take me off your hands so you could have some girl? You felt guilty leaving me behind, so you made a fucking deal? Oh my God, my own brother, my own twin!” I wanted to sob and hit something all at the same time.
He pushed to his feet, but I held up my hands so he wouldn’t touch me.
“You are my brother, remember?” I cried. “We come first before anyone else. I can’t believe you would do this to me. You are disgusting. Stay away from me!” I held my pounding head as the world moved in the opposite direction.
“Lex.”
“No.” I stuck my finger in his face. “You never liked me being with Keith, not even in high school. I get it, I found my soul mate early, and that took up a lot of my time, but dammit, Elliot! He made me happy, and you made damn sure the moment he was gone you drove in that wedge nice and deep. If Juan hadn’t taken me into the club and in a different direction, maybe I would have been able to wait out Keith’s tour. I wouldn’t be with Antonio now!” I was all over the map with my scattered emotions.
“Ten years, Elliot! Ten years I have battled inside about not being there when he came home from the war. Instead, I was in that horrible dive of a bar with Juan drinking a beer in the morning. I literally watched as I broke the heart of the only person who ever loved me into a billion pieces! All because I loved you so much that I didn’t see the truth!”
“Lexi, please!”
I lowered my voice as disappointment and disbelief drained away my energy. “And look where it got me, Elliot. I hope you’re happy. Your twin sister who loved you more than anything, who would have done anything for you, is getting her ass beat every time she does the wrong thing. Stuck with a creep like Antonio who degrades me every day. Thanks a lot. Mom and Dad would be so proud of you.”
Elliot’s bloodshot eye was wet, but he fought the tears. He just stood there and took everything I had to say.
I went to leave but turned back to remind him once more of who we were. “We’re twins. You hurt, I hurt, remember? Where was that promise when you sold me off?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered with his head down.
“Me too.”
It was only a twenty-minute walk to Keith’s house, and I knew it would be the best thing for me right then. I needed time to grapple with everything that had just happened. The pain of what Elliott had done was so raw I was bleeding inside. One step forward, three steps back in the shit department.
Fifteen minutes into the walk, my cell vibrated.
Elliot: I’m sorry, Lexi. I made stupid choices and now we are both stuck in this mess. I never meant to lie to you. I just was so lost. I hate this life and just want Mom and Dad back.
I started to cry. I hated being mad at him. We had been so close our whole lives, and that was what hurt the most.
Lexi: Just give me a few days.
Elliot: Okay.
As I stood in front of Keith’s door, I decided to keep this to myself. I didn’t need Keith hating Elliot. He had enough in his life right now, and this certainly wasn’t something I wanted to share.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Keith
The Next Day
“Looking pretty good, First Sergeant.” Nan rolled into my room, double parking next to my bed.
Buttoning up my jacket, I grinned at her in the mirror. “So do you.” Her bright orange dress made her face glow.
“Wait until you see Lexi.” She grinned, topping off her drink from the belly of my bear. “She could wear a paper dress and it would be on the cover of Vogue the next day.”
I chuckled. Nan was right. Lexi was absolutely stunning, especially when she smiled.
Nan locked her chair in place and stood, snatching up my phone.
“You two give me hope that love can still be present even after all these years.”
“Poppy never will forget you, Nan.”
“I know.” She smiled to herself. “We’ll just pick up right where we left off.” She hit a button on the screen. “That’s why I picked out something frisky for my funeral. We’ll have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Oh, Lord, Nan.” I laughed as her eyes closed when the music started.
Artie Shaw, “Begin the Beguine,” flowed from the crisp speakers, and she started to move her shoulders, swaying side to side.
“I remember the first time I saw your grandfather. It was the town fair, and people from all around had come out to enjoy the rides. String lights crisscrossed around the ballfield, and the smell of cotton candy was everywhere. I was next to the Ferris wheel with my girlfriends, laughing and watching it go up so high.” Her hands went to her chest. “When this song came on, I felt someone watching me, so I looked over and saw a strapping young man in neatly pressed pants and a wool overcoat smiling at me. He gave a little tip of his hat before he started walking right in my direction. Oh, Lord, my heart beat so fast, and my cheeks burned. The other girls tried to get his attention, but he didn’t even waver in his step. He was fixed on me.” She turned the music up a little higher, then pushed off the desk she was leaning on. “He asked me to dance and offered his hand. Without a thought, I took it and let him lead me to where a few others were spinning and shuffling.” Her hands went up as she swayed. “At that moment, I knew he was something special. I was sixteen when I met him. Who was I to know what love was? But that didn’t matter, and we never looked back.”
I stood in front of Nan and held out my hand. She smiled, taking it. With my hand in hers and my other on her back, I eased her around the room, carefully spinning her just a little. Her chuckle made my heart swell. I lifted my chin and played my part well. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for my Nan.
I knew this would be forever etched in my memory, me dancing around my room with one of my most favorite people, her eyes closed and her lips in a smile. I knew she was back there at the fairground dancing with Poppy.
As the song ended, I leaned down and gave a little bow. That’s when I caught Lexi watching us from across the hall.
“Go on, sweetheart,” Nan whispered. “Just because my love is put on hold right now doesn’t mean yours has to be.”
“I love you, Nan.”
“Of course you do.” She sat back down in her chair. “What’s not to love?”
“True.”
Stepping into the hallway, I watched as Lexi shifted her weight from foot to foot. Her head dipped as she gave me a small smile.
She looked…perfect in a dark purple dress that clung to her curves and hit right above the knee. Her hair had a tiny wave through it and shone under the light.
“That’s actually quite sexy.” She pointed to my uniform.
My hand brushed down the side of the jacket, happy she liked it. “Thank you. You look amazing.”
She nodded before she picked up her long coat and purse. “We should probably get going. Don’t want to upset the bride.”
An hour later and I was thankful I was standing in the wedding at an angle. My jaw was locked in place as I watched my baby sister be handed off to someone else. Danny was great, and he was aware of what I did for living, and that made this day a bit easier. Lexi was dabbing at her cheek with a Kleenex. She was just as much a part of this family, whether she believed it or not.
The roaring crowd pulled me from my trance. Three tossed up her hands and cheered with everyone else. She blew me a kiss as they walked back down the aisle.
“One down, three to go.” Dad slapped my shoulder. “Who knows, maybe Two will be next.” He pointed to Clark, who had taken her hand as they walked out together. I was pleased I had cleared the air with my best friend before the wedding. I wanted Two to let loose and have fun, and in all honesty, I was happy for them. I knew Clark would kick anyone’s ass if they ever touched h
er.
“Maybe.”
At the reception, the chairs were pushed aside, and the music “2 Heads” by Coleman Hell swirled around the dancefloor. Mark hadn’t stopped shaking it with Savannah, and made good use of the fact the rest of us hadn’t had time to get our buzz on yet. The two of them were jumping around like it was a rave and were shouting the words.
Three couldn’t get enough of them and kept joining in their crazy moves.
Mia and Lexi went to get a drink and left me with Cole. He leaned back and tossed a pair of keys at me across the table.
“What are these?” I picked them up and checked out the keychain that read ‘Dusk.’
“Keys.”
I shot him a look and watched his mouth curve upward. “You need to be closer to your family, and…” He flicked his head in Lexi’s direction. “I want you to run the new safe house.”
“What? Really?” I almost needed him to repeat it.
“Yes, under two conditions. You’ll need to come back and visit Shadows every month or two, and you remain with Blackstone. I will not lose any more members.”
Holy shit. I leaned forward and offered my hand. “Thank you.”
“There’s no one who could do the job better. Savannah wasn’t overly pleased, but she’ll get over it.” Cole’s face lit up as he looked over my shoulder. “W-o-w.”
“Beware the Dog” by Be Impressive made its way to my ears as I turned to see Lexi breaking it down with Mark, who was shaking his chest like he was at a cabana.
“Is it wrong that I’m jealous of his moves?” Mia sank into the chair next to me.
“I’m not sure if you should be,” Cole muttered, but he gave her a wink.
I laughed before I stood, downed my drink, and made my way over to the three of them. I grabbed Three and spun her into the group. Mark lowered himself to the ground and back up again, yelling the chorus. Lexi was laughing so hard she had to hold onto Savannah for support.
Three held up her camera and started to snap some pictures. I twirled Lexi around, took her head in my hands, and kissed her, hoping Three would get the shot. When I let go, I waited for her hesitation, but she just gave me a shy smile. I took her hands and started to dance with her while Mark tossed coconuts in the air around us. Where did he get these moves?
Nan, in her chair, shoulders swinging, joined the craziness. Mark came up behind her and grabbed the handles and started to do the train, but instead Nan reached behind him and grabbed his ass.
“Oh, Nan, I wasn’t ready!” Mark stepped in front of her. “Okay, do it again! I’m flexing now.”
I shook my head at Dad, who just covered his eyes. Those two were dangerous together.
While Mark taught Nan the Cabbage Patch move, I soaked up every moment I could touch Lexi. It was great to see her let loose and have some fun.
I caught Three as she raced by and mouthed. “Slow song.”
She gave me a thumbs up and pretended to wipe a tear at how happy she was for us.
A moment later, the DJ came on. “Time to slow this down a little.”
Cole was suddenly at my side reaching for Savannah, who had caught the eye of Danny’s brother.
Lexi moved her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest as Adele’s powerful voice sang “Someone Like You.”
Placing my chin on her head, I let out a long sigh, loving that she wanted me at this moment, not the other way around.
Our bodies formed one as we swayed in a circle.
Savannah mouthed, “Her eyes are closed,” then she smiled with such happiness I could have shed a tear. I wanted this so badly it physically made me ache. I knew we had a lot to get through before we could be us again, but dammit, I’d sell my soul to keep this woman. She was mine.
“Keith?” She looked up at me with glossy eyes.
“Yes.”
Her eyes flickered back and forth as if she were carefully trying to choose the right words.
“Never mind.”
“What is it?” I urged her to tell me.
“Thank you for this.”
I smiled and dipped down to catch her lips. She let me, and I lost myself, not caring that we weren’t alone. It wasn’t a passionate kiss. It was slow and meaningful and held so much promise.
***
Lexi
My thumb brushed back and forth over the handle of my mug without care in the world as I watched the steam float away. It made me envious, and I wished I could lift myself up and join it where it was going. These past three days had been nice—relaxing, even. Been a while since I felt like I was seen for more than just a body.
A strong breeze blew my hair around, occasionally interrupting my view of the quiet street. I was resting on the wide railing of the front porch. One foot straight out in front of me, the other bent so I could rest my chin on it, I needed a moment to gather myself. I knew I had to go back to the clubhouse, and I was strangely torn up about it. My emotions were a mess. I knew I didn’t love Antonio—hell, I didn’t even like the bastard—but I had spent a lot of time in his life, and it held a certain comfort level I had become used to. I knew I had a job to do, and it was time this came to an end.
“Hey.” Keith came out holding his keys. He leaned down and kissed my head. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
“I’m sure. Let’s go.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I quickly pulled it free, thinking it was Elliot.
Yellow: Should we meet?
Keith gave me a strange look.
“Who’s that?”
Lexi: No.
“No one.”
My stomach was in a nasty twist that grew tighter as we drew closer to the clubhouse. Every stoplight, I fought the urge to hop out and run. Keith kept his hand on mine, giving it a squeeze here and there. Occasionally, he would ask if I wanted to change my mind. I knew he would spin this car around on a dime if I even hesitated. I had convinced myself I couldn’t allow myself to fall under Keith’s spell again. Some wounds were still too deep to get past completely. Although I had begun to think that over time some might heal, I would not go there right now, not with what I had to do.
Sweat broke out between my shoulder blades as I reached for the handle and opened the heavy metal door. Keith had dropped me off a block away, waiting to be sure it didn’t look like we arrived together. The smell hit me with a wave of nausea, and I was weak in the knees, but I raised my chin and stepped into the room.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Will grunted as I pushed by him, hoping to find Elliot. “Hey!” He grabbed my arm. “I’m talking to you.”
“Get off me!” I hissed, not in the mood for his shit today, and using him as a catalyst to get my anger flowing.
Spinning around quickly, I managed to break his hold and headed for the bar where Antonio charged at me like a bull.
Shit.
“I’m not sure if I should beat you into a grave or fuck you into tomorrow!” I braced for the blow but was surprised with the rough kiss I got instead. “Hey, boys! Let’s hear it for my girl who broke us out of that shit hole!” The bar erupted, and I managed to produce a strained smile as they drained their drinks.
“Okay, boys, get the fuck out of here and do what I asked.” He waited for them to leave, then he shoved a drink in my hand and gave me a funny look, but one I knew all too well. This drink was laced. “Drink up,” he ordered.
I set it on the bar top. “I want to see Elliot first.”
His stance straightened and his eyes burned into mine. “What?”
“Antonio, you have no idea what I had to go through to get you guys out. Give me a few minutes to let my brother know I’m back safely.”
He shoved the drink in my hand again, his expression ugly, and that’s when I heard it.
The sound that would haunt me for as long as I was on this earth.
Pop! Pop!
Antonio shoved me away from him and ducked behind the bar like the coward he was.
A woman sta
rted to scream from the other room. My gut instinct told me to move, and I raced toward the screams and flung open the door.
I became weightless. My skin prickled as the blood dropped to my toes, and my lungs froze in position. The world simultaneously stopped spinning and spun out of control at the sight of my brother, my twin, lying on the floor with his blood pumping from a massive hole in the side of his head. “No!” I screamed and dropped to my knees as my head grew light. My hands shook as I tried desperately to put things back the way they were supposed to be. Brain matter dripped from my hands. “What did you do? What did you do?” I screamed in his face. “You can’t leave me here! You can’t!” Painful sobs ripped from my chest and rattled in my throat. “Elliot, wake up!” This was a joke! A fucked up prank by Will. Will! He was hunched oddly in a chair, and blood had soaked through his shirt and pooled onto the floor below him. More blood dripped from his lips, and I realized there had been two gunshots. That realization was oddly soothing.
As the room came into focus, I saw pictures strewn all over the floor. On shaky knees, I grabbed the closest one and tried to absorb what I was looking at. Even in my stunned state, the ugly truth got through.
“Holy shit!” Antonio nearly laughed behind me. “What a fucking mess.”
I couldn’t handle it. Dropping my head back, I let out a nasty, horrific scream.
My mouth tasted like tin as I sobbed, holding the picture. Everything hurt. It was as though someone held a match to my skin and the fire crawled up to scorch my heart.
“Get up, Lexi!” Antonio ordered, frustrated with my mourning.
“Fuck you,” I hissed, not caring. Nothing mattered anymore. My brother, who had been nothing but their punching bag, had been driven to kill himself because of this picture. The gun by his hand made the tiniest impact. He shot Will.
“What’d you say?” He reached out to grab me, but I coiled back out of his reach, and I felt something hard hit my foot.