I Need You Here

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  I tried to shake my head, but felt ready to pass out at any moment. “I’ll never be yours.”

  My vision blurred and I slumped to the floor when he finally released me. I was able to see his feet, and the feet of his henchman walking away from me. “I want you to clean up the mess you’ve made here in the condo, and the mess you’ve made of yourself. Aaron will pick you up for your appointment on Thursday morning.” He paused at the front door to add, “I need you in the office bright and early with my usual coffee and pastry,” before slamming the door shut and leaving me alone.

  I lay on the floor for some time, allowing the pain in my arm, face, and neck to subside. Slowly, my breathing returned to normal. My life was a mess. I had one chance to correct it, to be with the man I thought might be my soulmate. Would he still want me? Regardless, I needed a way out of here ASAP.

  I calmed down, levered up into a sitting position against the wall, and began surveying the damage. I definitely had a mess to clean up, both in the condo and in my life. I’d tried desperately to keep Liam from even entering my — well actually his — place, and we’d managed to knock over a couple of vases and some potted plants.

  I had to laugh at myself. I’d warned my best friend, Marissa, about trusting assholes like her ex-boyfriend, Tom Reynolds, who ended up hurting her badly — physically and emotionally. First he’d scared her into believing that sex was supposed to hurt, later tried to kidnap her, beating her badly enough to land in the hospital.

  Tom had tried to drug Marissa’s brother but wound up drugging their best friend, who’d passed out while driving. The end result was a horrific accident that killed the other driver, Dane’s sister, (who died from an undiagnosed aneurism), and Ethan had been in a coma for months. While Liam was almost as controlling as Tom had been, at least he didn’t try to fuck with other people’s lives — at least not to my knowledge.

  Then again – could Liam be that violent? Marissa had sported some bruises on her face and arms from time to time, thanks to Tom. Liam had started leaving them on me, to the point I had to wear concealer, long sleeves, and scarves to hide the evidence.

  Damn it Dawn, you’re such a fuck up! My inner voice kept screaming at me telling me just what a sucker I’d been to fall for Liam’s shit – hook, line, and sinker. Truth be told? I’d envied how easily my former roommate, Ashley, had fallen into her job at her father’s company, married her long time boyfriend, and was now living in her dream home. Marissa had a fairy tale blossom from the depths of despair, convincing me that I could find my own dream.

  It’s just too bad that I hadn’t seen the truth hiding right in front of my face. My prince was in Orlando. I should have known that Liam had ulterior motives when I’d received his job offer, which was far better than any of the others offered. I could have made less money and stayed in state. I could’ve been dating Rafe all this time. I would’ve never even considered that Liam wanted to make me is mistress! Damn, it. Rafe was everything I wanted — everything I needed. I fervently hope that ship hadn’t sailed.

  I still couldn’t fathom why he wanted me. Liam had everything a man could dream of – the perfect model wife, two kids, married into money, a vice presidency at one of the top business firms in Atlanta, and all the women at work drooling over him. Why on earth did he want me?

  My first few days at work, all the girls told me I’d never last because I wasn’t the “perfect” image for the vice president. All of his previous assistants had been rail thin, hardly ate, and answered to his beck and call. They’d quit because he only wanted them to give him blow jobs, never really having sex with them — or so they’d have me believe. The only thing I had going for me was a head full of dark blonde hair, porcelain skin to die for, and curves galore. I certainly was no perfect size six. Did he prefer bigger women instead of toothpicks? Who knew?

  Thankfully, I only had to hang on for two more days. Actually, that’s what started the fight today. My father had called me at home to inform me that I’d be having lunch with my uncle Tony on Tuesday. He’d let it be known that my uncle wouldn’t take no for an answer, and would be at my office to pick me up promptly at 1 p.m.

  Tony called the office later that day to confirm our lunch plans. I hadn’t informed Liam, or asked his permission, but somehow he’d found out.

  It was no surprise to discover my phone calls were being monitored. What he didn’t know was that my father and uncle expected him to hear our conversation.

  I’m just thankful my parents realized something was wrong. I’d been able to call them every couple of weeks. I’d suspected that my cell phone and land line were both being monitored when Liam confronted me about a comment a friend had made about my falling for someone back in Orlando. That was the first of many clues that my boss was not just a control freak, but also a stalker.

  I closed my eyes and continued to lean back against the wall as my mind recounted the better times when I was with him – Rafe Prescott. The last time we were together was at Dane and Marissa’s wedding. I’d envied Marissa having someone who loved her and protected her with everything he had. Rafe was Dane’s younger brother, and I’d begun to believe that he might be the one. If only Liam hadn’t discovered my interest.

  My heart pounded remembering how Rafe’s hand had run soothingly over my legs, up against my sides, and up to my breasts, where he massaged them gently before teasing one nipple with his tongue, making it harden. I wasn’t a stranger to sex, but that night I experienced things I’d only read about. He had me begging him, needing him — he made me feel complete.

  I didn’t want to recall too many details of that night because I’d be wet in no time. Just the vision of him was enough to set anyone’s panties on fire. He stood roughly six feet tall, had a dark head of hair, cut short on the sides and slightly longer on top, and his eyes reminded me of two pools of caramel with a just a hint of cappuccino. I could lose myself in his gaze, especially when he smiled that wolfish grin of his.

  Rafe had shown me the art of surrender, how to let my body feel and accept what it needed, and how to please him in the process. My God, the sex was so incredible I didn’t want to leave Orlando!

  I’d decided I’d talk with my parents and see if I could get their help in moving back to the city. They knew I was miserable at work, mainly because of Liam. How he discovered I was discreetly inquiring about other jobs was beyond me.

  I’d hated leaving Rafe without a note or a word, but felt I had no choice. That morning, Liam demanded I return to Atlanta, and to him, ASAP, or there would be hell to pay. He’d sent a driver who was waiting outside of Rafe’s condo to escort me back to Atlanta. I knew he meant business when his driver, Aaron, had flashed a gun. He told me, in no uncertain terms, to get in the car — or else. I knew I had no choice but to leave. I wasn’t going to take unnecessary chances with my life or Rafe’s.

  I never really cried much because I’d grown a very thick skin thanks to my family’s choice of occupation. I’d learned, at a very young age, to be thankful for the things I did have, and to expect life to change on a moment’s notice. However, leaving Rafe behind in Orlando, with the potential of a better life, had me bawling for hours. I hadn’t just left him behind, but a part of my heart, too. I’d instantly resolved to do anything, within reason, to return to Rafe, my family and my friends. So I contacted my family and used the same tactics I’d been taught as a child.

  IT’D BEEN DAYS SINCE Dawn had called Marissa, asking to be hidden. I never told them that I’d known something more was up, but I panicked every day there was no sign of her. And there’d been no hints when to really expect her, except ‘soon’.

  Something was definitely off. I’d tried calling her at home, only to have a man answer and be told, “Stop calling - she doesn’t want to speak to you”. I tried her cell phone, but found the number was no longer in service.

  She had warned me never to call her workplace because her boss was very controlling and monitored every phone call. I hadn’t bel
ieved her, thinking she just wanted to push me away. So I called anyway only to be given the run-around, until I finally was able to speak to a woman who seemed to like Dawn. I was desperate, so I talked with her, pleading my case. Her voice was whisper quiet, but she said she had to tell someone. “I’m not supposed to be talking with anyone who calls about her, but she went to lunch on Tuesday, and we haven’t seen or heard from her since. We’re all very concerned for her well-being, especially her boss. He’s acting crazy, and has everyone who isn’t on a deadline out looking for her.”

  My heart beat so fast I almost passed out. Missing? Dawn was missing? What the fuck! A couple of days ago she asked if she could ‘hide’ at Marissa and Dane’s, and now there’s no hide nor hair of her?

  I called Marissa and asked if she’d heard anything from Dawn. “No. I’m worried, Rafe. This isn’t like her at all, to say she’s coming and then not show up or call. I’ve tried calling her, but I can’t even leave a message for her -- her cell’s been deactivated.”

  “I know. I have a bad feeling about all this. I just pray she’s all right and will get in touch with you when she can. Promise me something?”

  Marissa hesitated on the phone, but finally agreed. “Sure.”

  I inhaled deeply, trying to contain my anger and need to yell at something. “I know she doesn’t want to talk to me, at least not yet. Please let me know, even it’s just a text, if you hear from her or if she shows up. She’s everything to me, sis.”

  I felt bad, because I could hear Marissa crying. “I’ll let you know. Remember, she needs to deal with whatever’s going on at her own speed. None of us can rush her.” Her voice wobbled and she paused and chokingly whispered, “Rafe, I’m scared for her.”

  Fear was also weighing down my heart and soul. I needed to find her, figure out what the hell was going on, and protect her at all costs. But, how? As far as anyone knew, she’d dropped off the face of the earth.

  I threw the phone onto the couch and sat down, grabbing a pillow and punching the hell out of it just to release some frustration. Where the hell is she? Is she okay? Why haven’t we heard anything?

  I tried some breathing exercises that Kenny, a psychologist friend of mine, had taught me. I’d been having some anxiety issues lately, mainly in regard to the frustration over Dawn’s rebuffs.

  I tilted my head back against the sofa, held the pillow tightly to my chest, and tried to go to my happy place. For most, it’s a special location, maybe the beach, for other’s it’s a memory, often from their childhood memory, or a single moment in time. For me, it was the moment I’d first laid eyes on Dawn.

  I slowly began to relax, my breathing became controlled, my heart rate returned to normal. I remembered Marissa’s graduation, ten months earlier, and finally succumbed to the sleep that had thwarted me for days …

  I’d felt anxious that day. I didn’t want to take time off from work to attend a stupid graduation. I’d already had mine, years earlier, but Dane insisted. I had no desire to sit there for hours on end, just because he wanted me to.

  “Remind me … Why am I here again? Can I please leave? Marissa won’t notice me gone. Hell, I haven’t even met her yet!” I complained.

  “Rafe!” My father’s booming voice got my immediate attention.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “Today, we’re all here to support Marissa. Your brother really loves and cares for this woman. If it weren’t for her quick thinking, your brother would be dead. I think we owe her a debt of gratitude for saving Dane’s life. Sitting here for a few hours will not kill you.”

  I hung my head in shame because he was right, without Marissa I’d be an only child now. I’d already lost my sister, thanks to an automobile accident and an undetected aneurysm lurking in her brain. Her death hurt me so much that I poured myself into my work, so I wouldn’t have to deal with my grief. When I wasn’t putting my Juris Doctorate to work in the legal department at Prescott International, under the watchful eye of my uncle Tomas, I was at the club helping as a Dungeon Master and looking for a willing sub to do no more than be my receptacle for the night and relieve my pent up frustrations.

  I simply could not understand why my brother would be willing to settle for one woman, when there were so many willing fish in the sea. He’d gone from playboy extraordinaire, to devoted to Marissa, after one glance and a single, albeit passionate, kiss in an elevator. He’d become obsessed. Hell, it was all he would talk of for weeks —- that he’d found the girl of his dreams. The only thing that brought him out of his fantasy was losing our sister, Gabriella. It shook him to his core. I’d never seen him so lost without her. We were all close, but they understood each other on a whole other level. No one in the family knew that he’d blamed himself for her death and didn’t care whether he lived or died, until it was almost too late.

  Later he’d explained to me that Gabi had guided him to Marissa. He’d been unrecognizable, and she had no clue whom he was. He didn’t want to divulge it, feeling embarrassed by his current state. Heck, none of us were able to recognize him when we got to the hospital; he’d been so bruised, bloodied, and drunk. He finally started looking a little like himself after the doctors pumped his stomach and the nurses cleaned him up.

  “I’m sorry to drag you here today, Rafe.” Dane placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “I appreciate you doing this for Marissa and me. Her parents are caught between a rock and a hard place. Their business has been in decline because of some poor investments and they had to downsize all around … even sold the family home. Instead of attending their daughter’s graduation, they’re being forced to move this weekend, so there was no way they could attend. Unbeknownst to her, her brother, Nate, has worked day and night to be able to clear his schedule for a couple of days and he’s on his way, but his flight had been delayed. Hopefully, he’ll be here soon. All I ask is that you at least stay through the ceremony to help us cheer her on and let her know that she’s not alone, now that she has our family. Afterwards, you can take off if you’d like.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “She has no one?”

  He shook his head ruefully, “Until her brother gets here, we’re it.”

  Damn if I didn’t feel like a heel. I was accustomed to being surrounded by family; including friends we considered extended family members. I couldn’t imagine what it felt like to be alone.

  I looked at his expression and realized, “You love her, don’t you?”

  Dane nodded and smiled. “I love her with all my heart. But she’s spooked by past experiences, so I’m taking things slow to gain her trust. I don’t know how to explain it, but she’s it for me.”

  I smiled. I was happy my brother finally found happiness. He’d had quite a few women use him for his money and social standing, but had never found anyone who’d be loyal to him or our family. Granted, I was excited and hopeful about his future, but I still thought he was a fool to fall for this whole “love at first sight” crap—an impossible myth that only suckers bought, my brother included. And then it happened—one glance at one woman, and the earth stood still.

  Marissa’s group had been called to accept their diplomas, and I couldn’t look away from the beautiful woman sitting several seats away. It felt like time was suspended, my heart beat erratically, and I held my breath. I watched her walk up on stage ahead of Marissa. Who was she?

  “Congratulations, Miss Dawn Marie Jamieson!” There was a chorus of applause, including Marissa, who I noticed clapping enthusiastically up on stage.

  I felt a hand come down on my shoulder as someone took a seat beside Dane. “Sorry, I’m late, guys. Thanks for saving me a seat. Has she walked yet?”

  I looked up and saw that Dane’s friend, Nate, had just arrived. I listened in as he brought Nate up to speed. “Your sister is fourth back on the stage now. You made it in the nick of time.”

  I smiled and nodded, acknowledging Nate’s presence. I’d met him numerous times at the club, but didn’t know he was Mar
issa’s older brother. I leaned forward and quickly asked Dane, “Does Marissa know the woman who just graduated? I believe her name is Dawn?”

  He nodded, keeping one eye on the stage toward Marissa. “They’re friends and have been roommates for the past four years. Why?”

  I had no time to elaborate because Marissa’s name was called and we all stood up, clapping and whooping and hollering as loud as we could to help support her on this special day. I guess she wasn’t prepared for the amount of noise we made, because she blushed profusely while crossing to receive her diploma, before walking down and taking her seat.

  My need to get out of there vanished and my eyes stayed glued to Dawn and Marissa. “You look like I did the first time I laid eyes on Marissa at work,” Dane laughed and rose to go find Marissa. I nodded absently, not really caring what was said.

  Nate, and our entire family, began walking toward where Marissa and Dawn stood. My brother noticed that something was off, so he skirted the crowd and got to her side faster than we could. I watched while Dawn put her arms around Marissa, consoling her, while surreptitiously handing a note to Dane. Something was definitely wrong.

  I was about to ask if everything was okay when my father cleared his throat and wished her well on her graduation. She looked shocked by my parents’ presence standing in front of her, and questioned why they were there. My mom quickly assured her that any member of the Prescott team was made to feel like a member of the family.

  My introduction to Marissa was brief. For the life of me, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Dawn. I hadn’t meant to be rude, but I waited around only long enough for her to be reunited with her brother and then made my escape when Dawn walked away. I needed to follow her —to find out more about her.

  I stood back while she conversed with a younger version of herself (whom I presumed to be her sister) and two people who might have been her parents, but looked old enough to be her grandparents. I overheard her say, “I’ll meet you guys there in just a few,” before giving them all hugs and walking off in a different direction.