I Need You Here

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  I nodded, remaining silent. “I guess the stress of everything is getting to you. I’m not going to push, but I hope you’ll come to me when you’re ready to talk. You know I won’t judge and will help you in any way that I can. I’m sorry for Dane’s behavior. He’s not normally like this, but with the baby coming and all—let’s just say he’s a bit overprotective right now.”

  I stumbled over and gave her a weak hug. “Thank you for everything you’ve done so far. I promise I’ll do everything in my power to keep you both safe. If I even suspect there’s any danger, I’ll disappear.”

  She didn’t pressure me that day, and only offered, “Why don’t you eat and rest for now. I imagine you’ve had a trying time just getting here. I’ll speak to Dane, see if I can get him to apologize.” Marissa walked to the door and was about to close it when she looked back. “You can join us downstairs if you like. If not, I’ll let you know when lunch and dinner are ready, or bring you a tray if you’re not up for company.”

  My eyes brimmed with unshed tears. I’d been so lost without my friends, and was humiliated that I’d sunk so low. The only thing I could choke out was, “Thank you.”

  Several days passed, and Marissa never pushed for details. She let me come to her, for which I was thankful. I avoided Dane, choosing to join Marissa for meals in the kitchen while he was at the office, and eating in my room when he was home. I’d rather be alone than endure another confrontation.

  I felt badly that I’d given Marissa such a hard time when she’d dated that asshole, Tom Reynolds. He tried to control her every move, alienate her from her friends and family, and used sex as a weapon, solely to settle a grievance against her father over a bad investment. I made a mental note to apologize to her later. I’d given her a ton of grief about staying with him, which made me take a hard look at myself and my choices.

  My body trembled remembering our last conversation. Liam was furious and demanded I not leave the office to meet my ‘Uncle’. Tony wasn’t a blood relation, but he didn’t need to know that. All Liam really needed to know was that my ‘Uncle Tony’ was a very large and intimidating man. Tony came up to our offices to see why I hadn’t met him in the lobby of McLeigh International Wealth. Tony brooked no denial, his arms crossed over his beefy chest, “We've not seen each other in three years. Unless you can give me a damned good reason, I’m taking my niece to lunch.” Liam’s eyes narrowed furiously and opened his mouth, when Tony cut off whatever he’d been about to say, “If you’d like I could get my friends at the police department around the corner to come by and maybe you can explain it to them.”

  Even though my nerves were frazzled, my stomach picked that moment to grumble rather loudly. It was important that I eat and keep up my strength. Everyone was right, I’d lost too much weight thanks to that asshole.

  I knew Liam was the jealous type, but I had no idea how calculating and manipulative the bastard could be. He’d managed to back me into a corner, asserting control in a manner I swore I’d never allow. His need to possess, to own, to control my every waking moment, was incomprehensible. Why me?

  My first goal had been to get away from him, from his verbal and physical abuse. I was thankful I’d kept my friendship with Marissa to myself; otherwise he’d have a good idea where to look.

  Yes, Liam was an asshole, but he was a smart asshole. He’d seen my low self-esteem, discovered my budding attraction to Rafe, and used my own insecurities to convince me to move. Effectively forcing a wedge between my friends, my family, a man with whom I’d felt an immediate connection. I’d be damned if he was going to compel me to keep that appointment and undergo a surgical procedure to make me perfect in his eyes. It wasn’t his mistake to deal with, it was mine. If he forced his hand, I would have to carry around the pain it would cause, in my heart, forever. I’d never be able to live with myself. Hell no! I would rather be dead, which lately I felt that way.

  I was alone, lost in thought, and picking at the food Marissa had left for me, when I heard tires squeal out front in the driveway, followed by someone continually ringing the doorbell and pounding on the door.

  My heart leapt to my throat. My immediate thought was, “He’s found me.” I looked out the window to see a Ducati in the driveway and breathed a sigh of relief, knowing Liam despised motorcycles.

  “Where the hell is she?” It was Rafe’s voice.

  “No one’s here, Rafe. It’s just us.” Dane’s voice insisted.

  I cracked the bedroom door to listen closer to the conversation. “Dammit, I know she’s here. I saw someone dropped off by a very well paid cabbie the other day. I watched as she entered a code at the gate. Who the hell is Ms. Chica Pizazz? And why do you have all that food in the kitchen? You expecting company, or are they already here?”

  I wanted to run downstairs and tell Rafe that I was here, that I wanted him, but I couldn’t. I was not putting his life at risk. I wished there was a way to make him understand I avoided him to keep him safe. Liam knew the one thing that would ensure my compliance was to threaten the one person I cared for most—Rafe.

  “Rafe, please be reasonable. One of my friends visited the other day and I gave her an old key code to use.” Marissa’s voice was calming and I could hear things start to settle down in the foyer. I was in awe at her ability to diffuse any situation and gain the upper hand. I didn’t know where she got her magic from or if it was because she was expecting, but something about her had changed and I was in awe over it.

  His voice was much calmer when he asked, “And the food? Why do you have so much?”

  I figured Marissa would be the one to answer, but Dane had come up with an elaborate tale. “You remember how Marissa's eating for two? She’s been having certain cravings lately. Sometimes she eats a lot, and others she picks throughout the day.”

  I stifled a giggle. Usually not a big eater, Marissa had laughingly told me about her odd craving for mint chocolate chip ice cream and would eat a whole pint in one sitting. It must be the pregnancy hormones. At least my friends weren’t totally lying on my account. They were partial truths.

  My heart nearly broke when I heard Rafe solemnly ask, “Will you at least tell me when she arrives? I hate being kept in the dark. I still don't understand why she refuses to talk to me. I need to talk to her more than I need my next breath of air.”

  It was all I could do not to rush downstairs and fling myself into his arms. The conversation died and I could no longer hear what was being said, so I quietly shut the door and leaned against the wall. I was so emotional; my legs would no longer support me. My body slowly slid down until I sat on the floor sobbing, my tears blinding me. Why did this have to happen? You know why this happened. You trusted someone you knew nothing about. You could’ve had your parents do a background check, but no, you wanted to be Miss Independent, and do it all on your own. Girl, you should’ve known that an offer that’s “Too good to be true” is exactly that.

  My thoughts were spinning, when a soft knock on the door startled me. Marissa opened the door slowly and saw what a mess I was. She extended her hand to me. “I’d join you on the floor if I could, but I’m too big to get down there. And even if I did, I’m not sure if even Dane could get me back on my feet. I can’t wait for this pregnancy to be over. I feel like the Goodyear blimp.”

  My tears kept flowing, but she managed to wangle a smile out of me. Leave it to Marissa to know just what to say. I’m unsure what compelled me to apologize. “I’m sorry for coming here, for causing so much turmoil in your lives … for everything really.”

  I managed to stand without her assistance, but she quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bathroom. She motioned for me to sit on the side of the tub, wet a washcloth with cool water, and helped me clean up my face. “Do you remember what you told me when Tom was being such an ass?”

  I thought for a moment, trying to recall all the conversations we’d had regarding that loser. At the moment, my mind was a cluster fuck of emotions to remember anything
specific, so I just shook my head.

  She placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder and squeezed while she continued to wipe away the tears. “You told me, ‘Shit Happens. Deal with it and move on’. I personally couldn’t agree with you more. So your boss turned out to be a jerk. I would elaborate more and call a spade a spade, but you haven’t given me all the details, yet, so I have to base my opinion on what we discussed a few months ago.”

  I reached up and clasped her wrist, “I wish I could tell you everything, but I’m scared. I don’t want you to think less of me for being so stupid, or that I’m being a wimp. There’s a lot that you don’t know about me.”

  “You are nothing of the sort.” She stomped her foot, shook her head emphatically, and crossed her arms. “I won’t allow you to talk less of yourself in my home.” She was a sight to behold, being so pregnant, and I knew she was employing one of the things we learned while roommates. When life got too serious we’d sit back, crack a few jokes, and try to find a solution to our problems.

  I opened my mouth a few times to tell her everything, but no words would come. I couldn’t understand why and started to panic. My breathing became frantic, and spots formed before my eyes.

  I heard the squeal of a vanity chair being dragged over to me; her hands grabbed each side of my face. “Dawn, you need to slow your breathing down or you’re going to pass out. You’re having a panic attack.”

  Her words drifted off and darkness engulfed me. A man’s voice commanding voice broke through the haze. “You will look at Marissa, NOW!”

  My eyes snapped open, and Marissa started to come into focus. “That’s it, my friend. Look at me and let’s try to slow down your breathing. I want you to take a deep breath in, hold it. Now let it out, slowly. Again.”

  I was so humiliated. How had I become this pathetic individual having a panic attack for no apparent reason? You know the answer to that. It’s because of that sadistic bastard of a boss. He tried to control you, strip you of everything you hold dear, and twist your mind to believe you can’t function without him. You were lured to the gates of Hell, and found Liam.

  I began to tremble. “Quick, Dane, get some chocolate from your nightstand. I think she’s dropping.”

  Dropping? Wait a minute! The term seemed familiar and then it dawned on me that it was used frequently in some of the books I’d read. Rafe had explained about subspace and subdrop. I hadn’t done a scene, but felt disconnected and my body was shaking uncontrollably.

  Dane came back into the bathroom with a couple small pieces of candy and a blanket. “Eat this, Dawn, it will help.” I reached for the candy, and put a piece in my mouth as he wrapped a blanket around me.

  I dared to look up at him, fearing I’d find contempt for all the problems I caused. To my surprise, his expression held only concern. “You’re going to be okay, Dawn. We’ll make sure you get through this, but you need to talk to us; let us know what’s going on in that mind of yours, so we can help you.”

  The shakes started to subside and my breathing evened out as I looked at them both. “Thank you for all you’ve done. I should probably get out of your hair. I’m no good for either of you and I don’t like you seeing me like this.”

  Marissa hugged me tight. “You’re the strongest person I know. You made sure I got away from Tom and you helped me realize my true feelings for Dane.” She leaned back, pushing a lock of my hair away from my face. “We all have our stumbling blocks. We’ll get you through this and you’ll come out even stronger. It’s up to you to decide whether to live in fear, or push forward and take back your life.”

  I wanted my life back—the life I had the day I met Rafe, before everything went to hell. “Can I talk with you in a little while, after I take a nap? Rafe scared the shit out of me.” Dane and Marissa looked horrified, “I thought he was Liam, or some of Liam’s men. I was afraid I’d been found.” Marissa shook her head as Dane’s jaw clenched. My gaze met his, my eyes pleading. “I love Rafe so much, but I can’t be around him. I can't endanger his life.” I hoped that I wouldn’t need to go into further detail, and that they’d understand the threat Liam presented—not to me, or them, but that Rafe was in the most danger by me being here.

  I was exhausted from all the excitement. They were right, I needed to decide whether or not to stand up to Liam and demand my life back. I needed the people I cared about back in my life. The journey may be arduous, but I was no longer alone; and it was time to rally my allies and utilize their talents to the fullest.

  Marissa placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll let you rest, but I’ll be back in a few hours. You don’t have to tell me everything, only what you’re comfortable with, but I would like to know what the deal is with Rafe.”

  Her request was reasonable. I could do that. “Okay.”

  I KNEW I SHOULDN’T have rushed over to Dane’s house, especially knowing I had people following me. It was a stupid move on my part, but it confirmed two things … I was definitely under surveillance, and so were they—I noticed a familiar car parked down the road and someone taking pictures of Dane’s house.

  I just couldn’t help it. It took Ethan several days to gather the information I wanted. Dawn and I had talked at length, but she’d never disclosed where she grew up. She’d only told me where her grandparents and sister currently lived. She never truly elaborated about her life, except for the years spent at the local university, and being roommates with Marissa and Ashley. I knew her job was central to our problems. It was imperative that I find out who Dawn really was, why she was reluctant to discuss her past, and why she was running scared.

  I had a feeling her boss, Liam Cavanaugh, was a less then stellar individual. His excuses to keep her in Atlanta, ensconcing her in a private apartment, convincing her to accept a company car and sell hers—things just didn’t add up.

  I knew her initial job offer was similar to the one my father had made Marissa after she’d unwittingly saved Dane’s life. She'd been hired as a manager trainee and as such would work closely with Dane, day and night. Marissa’s home had been broken into, her belongings destroyed, and she was nearly homeless. Dane had been drinking heavily, blaming himself for our sister’s death. Our father is a smart old codger. He’d added a stipulation that he wanted her to live in the same house not only to accommodate the often-crazy work hours necessary in a global business, but also to keep an watchful eye Dane. Of course, the old man told Dane what had happened to her, and that she would be there to keep an eye on her. Who knew our father would play matchmaker so well? Because of the similarity, Dawn had jumped at the opportunity, thinking that this job would be everything she dreamed of. I feared it might be worse than I thought.

  Something about Liam didn’t sit well with me. Dawn was ecstatic when she first started her job; but as time passed she’d become more and more withdrawn. She’d been able to negotiate time off for her roommate Ashley’s wedding with little problem. However, allowed little time for Marissa’s. He insisted she stay at a specific hotel and demanded to make her travel arrangements.

  It hadn’t stopped there. While she was here for Marissa and Dane’s nuptials, he called her every couple of hours, checking up on her. And her easy going demeanor changed. She was distant, and not just with me. It seemed like she was pushing everyone away from her, even her closest friends. I would have thought she’d lost interest if it hadn't been for the one incredible night.

  As a precaution, I’d had Ethan do a deep background check on one Liam Cavanaugh. His actions, the fact that he had everyone who wasn’t involved in a project looking for her in Atlanta – there were just too many red flags to ignore.

  I’d asked Dawn once if she had the hots for her boss, but she adamantly denied it citing, “Okay, I admit he's kind of cute—but eww! He’s happily married with a couple of kids. I’m not interested in anyone else, Rafe.” My heart skipped a beat remembering how she’d insisted that she’d only been interested in me.

  So what the fuck happened? I returned to th
e condo to review the data Ethan had gathered. I ran my hand over my face, frustrated. I thought if I could get my brother and sister in-law to admit that Dawn was there, that I might make some sense of things. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t budge. On second thought, though, I was glad they hadn't. I needed to clear my head and devise a way to talk to her alone—with no one being the wiser.

  How was it possible that Dawn’s electronic footprint went back only ten years? Where was she prior to that? Who was she? Ethan had enhanced the video of her when she arrived at Dane’s and discovered she was covered in bruises, which fueled my need to see her, to question what was really happening. Ethan had tried to assure me that, even in this advance technological age, sometimes a person’s history remains hidden; and that sometimes information remains in paper files, stored in basements and warehouses—invisible to any experienced computer geniuses.

  I looked over the meager file and tried to memorize all the facts, as well as jotting down questions that I’d like to ask her. I pushed the printouts aside and picked up the file Ethan had on Liam. I grabbed a bottle of water, drinking thirstily. I opened the file and saw a picture of him. He wasn’t half bad looking—dark reddish blonde hair and emerald green eyes, but he had an arrogant air about him. Men can always read each other. This bastard’s attitude almost leapt off the page. The asshole’s smirk reeked of being a controlling son of a bitch.

  There were no birth records for him, either. No indication of when or where he was born, no college transcripts—only a copy of a college degree and proof that he’d started working with McLeigh International Wealth seven years ago, when the company first launched, the past four as a Vice President.

  I picked up the phone and called Ethan. “Any idea why there is no information on Liam prior to the last seven years?”

  “I agree, it sounds suspicious. I couldn’t get much of anything on him. I had to call in a favor to one of your family’s bodyguards, Rick, to get that much information.” He sounded a bit perturbed. “I owe him and Derrick upgrades to their home computer systems.”