Devour

by E. K. Blair

  “I don’t have that right, but I want to know. I didn’t mean to hurt you, and if I did, I really am sorry. I grouped you in when I shouldn’t have. You’ve been nothing but nice since I got here this morning.”

  I glanced back and forth between him and the road, unsure of what to say. “Yeah, it did hurt a little.”

  He turned away from me. “I knew it did, and I’m sorry. Sometimes, I speak before I think. Listen, I don’t want to start out like this. Can we start over?”

  “Does it really matter that much to you?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I guess it does. I’m just not sure why,” he said as he turned to face me.

  “Well, I’m willing to ignore this afternoon if you are. You could use a friend since you’re so antisocial, and I’m willing to be that friend if you let me.”

  He grinned. It was the first one I’d seen since he’d gotten in the car.

  “I am not antisocial.”

  “Yes, you are. You completely ignored Todd in class today.”

  “I did not ignore him. I nodded when he said hi.”

  “That doesn’t count. You’re supposed to be sociable, you know, as in, like, talking to someone,” I said as I grinned back at him. “Whatever. Maybe I prefer not to be around people.” “Why would you say that?” I asked, confused.

  “Because people are assholes. I learned long ago that the only person I can trust is myself.”

  For someone so young, he was definitely jaded. I had no idea what had happened to him previously, but it was obvious that he didn’t care about others or what they thought of him. Someone had hurt him, and for some reason, I cared.

  “Not everyone is an asshole. Some of us still care.”

  “If there’s anyone out there that cares, I’ve yet to meet them, besides my mom. It’s just her and me against the world. Fuck everybody else.”

  He had just given me a bit of information about himself without even realizing it. I smiled as I glanced over at him.

  “You’re close to your mom, I take it?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, my mom is the only one I have left. It’s been me and her for years, and I like it that way.” “Where’s your dad?” I asked.

  “No clue. I can barely remember him. The bastard left us when I was little.”

  “That sucks. My dad travels a lot, but at least I still get to see him. If not,

  I might go crazy without him.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Why is that?”

  “My mom and I don’t get along. She’s too busy planning committee events to be a mom.”

  “You said before your parents are divorced. Where is your dad?”

  “He’s in a band, so he travels a lot. It’s been like this my entire life, so I’m used to it. I just wish he was home more to help me deal with her.” “Make a left here,” he said, effectively ending our discussion.

  I gave my signal and turned left at the light. We were in the slums of the city, and I was glad that my car had automatic locks. I had no idea how Jesse could stand to work here. I would be afraid of getting mugged. Although, since he was a pretty big guy, that probably wasn’t a problem for him.

  A few buildings down from the turn off, there was an old brick building with a sign out front that said Rick’s Tattoos. It was weathered and broken down on the outside, but the inside looked brightly lit. I pulled into the parking lot and shut the car off.

  “Well, this is me. Thanks for the ride,” Jesse said as he opened the door to get out.

  “Wait!” I yelled.

  He turned back to me. “What?”

  “So, we’re starting over tomorrow? Clean slate?”

  He smiled, and my stomach flipped as I saw the dimple in his cheek.

  “Yeah, we can start over. Maybe next time, I won’t be such an ass.”

  I laughed. “Something tells me you’re good at being an ass.”

  “That, I am. Have a nice night, Emma.” “You, too!” I called as he walked away.

  I waited until he went inside the building before I finally pulled out. There was just something about this boy that kept me intrigued, and I was determined to find out what it was, mother be damned.

  The house was quiet as I closed the door behind me. I had to admit that the peace was kind of nice. I knew as soon as my mom came home, there would be never-ending chatter about her meetings, and I just didn’t have it in me to listen tonight.

  I walked up to my room and threw my bag on the bed. I didn’t have any homework tonight since I’d finished it at school, so I fell down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling.

  Today had been interesting to say the least. Jesse had come out of nowhere and completely thrown me off balance. I needed to pull myself together. I didn’t get nervous over boys. They got nervous over me—with the exception of Todd, but every girl in the school got nervous when he was around.

  I should be focusing on Todd, not Jesse. Todd was safe. Todd was someone who my mother wouldn’t commit murder over if she found out we were together. He was who I was supposed to be with. Or, at least, I should be with someone like him, not a guy like Jesse. He was too poor, too common.

  So, why am I staring up at my ceiling, thinking about him? I wondered. I needed to get a grip and control my hormones. That was all this was. Jesse was attractive, and I couldn’t help but notice that. I was a hormonal almost eighteen-year-old. There was no other excuse for it. I couldn’t be crushing on the poor boy, no matter how attractive he was.

  I groaned as my phone started ringing. I pulled it from my pocket to see that it was Lucy calling. “Hello?”

  “I saw you leaving school with the new guy. Start talking.”

  “There’s nothing to say. His car broke down, so I gave him a ride to work. That was it.”

  “You didn’t bang him in the back of your car?” she asked, sounding disappointed.

  “No, I didn’t bang him. Sorry to disappoint,” I said sarcastically.

  “A girl can hope. What happened when you drove him to work?”

  “Nothing. We talked, and I dropped him off.”

  “You’re seriously crushing my dreams right now. I was picturing him naked.”

  “We were both fully clothed.” Unfortunately.

  “Well, that just sucks. Maybe next time...” she hinted.

  “I’m not interested in him like that.”

  “Are you a lesbian?”

  My mouth dropped open. “What? No!”

  “Then, you’re interested in him. I’m pretty sure every girl at our school is interested in him. Everywhere I went today, all I heard was people talking about the new kid.”

  “There are other new kids though, so maybe it wasn’t all about him,” I said.

  “I saw the other new kids. Trust me, they were talking about Jesse.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh. But I have to say that he didn’t even glance at anyone all day, except for you. I think he has a thing for you, too. You could totally snag him if you wanted to.”

  “I don’t want to snag him,” I lied. “I want Todd. Did you see him talking to me today?”

  “Todd is nice, but he’s no Jesse, and yes, I saw. He’s definitely into you, too.”

  “I hope so. Todd is just what I need.”

  “I don’t care who you need. It’s who you want that matters. So, do you want Todd or Jesse?” Lucy asked.

  “I want Todd,” I answered automatically.

  Even I knew it was a lie, but I couldn’t help it. There was no way that I could get involved with Jesse. My mother would make my life a living hell.

  “Whatever. I’m going to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Later.” I ended the call and threw my phone onto the nightstand.

  I definitely want Todd...maybe.

  That lesbian option was starting to look pretty good.

  When I pulled into the parking lot the next morning, Jesse was under the hood of his car with some guy I’d never seen before. I parked a couple of spaces down from them and go
t out. Jesse was oblivious to my presence as he tinkered with the engine.

  “I’m telling you, it’s the starter. The engine is fine,” the unknown guy said.

  “It can’t be the starter,” Jesse argued.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I can’t afford a fucking starter right now. I just cut back on hours at the shop for school.”

  My heart went out to him. He was trying so hard, trying to work as much as possible and go to school, and he couldn’t even afford a part for his car.

  “Listen to me. I know cars, and you don’t. It’s the starter. Talk to Rick.

  Maybe he can pay you early or something.”

  “I’m not asking him to do that for me. I’ll figure something out,” Jesse snapped.

  I cleared my throat to let them know that I was standing behind them. Jesse tensed before glancing over his shoulder. He seemed to relax when he noticed me.

  “Hey, Emma.”

  “Hey. Did you figure out what’s wrong with your car?” I asked.

  “It’s the starter,” the unknown guy said.

  “Oh, is that easy to fix?” I asked, sounding like a total girl. I knew nothing about cars, except for how to put gas in one.

  “It is if we can get the part. They’re expensive though.”

  “I’ll figure something out,” Jesse said as he closed the hood and wiped his hands on a rag.

  “What year is it? After school, I’ll check around at a few of the junkyards to see what I can find,” unknown guy said as he took the rag from Jesse and wiped his hands on it.

  “It’s a ’98 Jeep Cherokee,” Jesse said as he took the rag back and glanced up at me. “By the way, Emma, this is Andy. Andy, this is Emma.” I held out my hand, and Andy shook it. “Nice to meet you.” “You, too,” he said as he looked me over.

  I stared back, taking in his appearance. He had the same surfer guy look as Jesse, except where Jesse’s hair was longer and blond, Andy’s was a dark brown and cut short. His eyes were dark brown, too.

  Both guys were both extremely tan and really attractive. Standing next to each other, they made quite the pair. Andy seemed nice enough, but there was just something about the way he looked at me that made me think he was a player.

  “Well, I’d better get to class. I’ll see you inside, Jesse. It was nice to meet you, Andy,” I said as I looked away from Andy.

  “See you in a few,” Jesse said as he walked to the passenger side of his car and pulled out his bag.

  I knew just what to do to help Jesse. I smiled as I pulled out my phone and dialed the number to the repair shop that my mom had me take my car to for services.

  Frustrated, I slammed my books down on the desk. I had no idea how I was going to come up with the cash to get my Jeep fixed. It pissed me off even more to know that every single one of these kids had enough money in their pocket to pay for the repairs without even thinking about it. I wasn’t usually a whiny asshole, but that really sucked. I hated them all for it right now.

  “You okay?” Emma asked as she took the seat beside me.

  “I’m fine,” I grumbled. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk.

  “No, you’re not. You’re upset. Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

  “Not really.”

  She sighed as she set her books on the desk. “Fine, I’ll leave you alone. I was just trying to help.”

  I instantly felt bad about being a dick to her. She was only trying to be a friend to me. “I’m sorry. I’m just in a bad mood, and I’m not the best company right now.”

  “It’s fine. Seriously, don’t worry about it. We all have those kind of days.” I looked up to see her smiling at me. She really needed to stop doing that. I’d spent half of my night talking myself into ignoring whatever I felt when she was around. When she smiled, she made that really hard to do.

  “It seems like I have more of them than most. I can never catch a break,” I replied.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but the teacher walked in just then, and we were forced to pay attention to him instead of our conversation. I caught her glancing over at me several times throughout class, and I couldn’t help but grin when she’d look away quickly, pretending that nothing had happened.

  Instead of having the end of the period free like last time, we worked right up to the bell, leaving no room for conversation. I was actually kind of glad. I didn’t want to have to explain to the rich girl that I didn’t even have enough money for a fucking car part. It was embarrassing.

  I had no idea what I was going to do. I needed to pick up more hours, but I didn’t see how I could with school. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if I were at my old school, but this one was so much farther away, and it took me longer to drive there.

  As soon as the bell rang, I grabbed my books and started walking to my next class. I was completely zoned out, and I didn’t even notice when Emma started walking beside me.

  “Jesse? Hey, Jesse? Anybody home?” she asked as she poked me in the side.

  “What? Oh, sorry. I was in my own head there for second.” “Yeah, I noticed. What are you thinking about?” she asked.

  “Nothing, just thinking.” There was no way I wanted to tell her that I was broke, not that she didn’t already know that.

  She frowned but said nothing as we continued to walk down the hallway. I started walking a little bit faster, hoping to avoid her. She finally took the hint and left me alone as we settled into our seats in our second class. I ignored her as she turned in her seat and started talking to her friends behind her, and she did the same to me. My aggravation increased when I noticed Todd walking in before he sat down beside her.

  “Hey, Emma,” he said as he looked over at her.

  Her cheeks turned a light shade of red, and I couldn’t help but groan. I had no idea what she saw in the guy. He was nothing more than the shallow, stereotypical jock, and she could do better than that.

  “Hey, Todd,” she said.

  “Are you doing anything this evening?” he asked her.

  I clenched my teeth to keep from saying anything. It wasn’t my place to tell her that he was a douche bag. Not that I was sure he was a douche bag, but he just seemed like he was.

  “I have practice after school, but other than that, I’m free,” she said shyly.

  “Cool. Do you want to grab something to eat after you’re finished with practice?”

  “Sure, that sounds great.”

  “Perfect. I’ll meet you by your car in the parking lot then.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Todd turned around to talk to someone on the opposite side of him, and Emma started doing a silent screaming fit with her friends. I just wanted to hit something, but I wasn’t sure why. It shouldn’t matter that she was going on a date. I didn’t even know this girl.

  Ms. Mason walked in just then and instructed us to open our history books. Thank God. I could focus on school instead of stupid shit, like where Emma was going after school. I ignored everyone around me for the rest of class, and I was the first one out of the room when the bell rang.

  I walked to the cafeteria and grabbed my lunch before sitting at the same table as yesterday. Charles and Sean were sitting at the table already. I mumbled hello as I sat down, but other than that, I ignored them both. I wasn’t in the mood to be sociable, and they could just deal with it. I shoveled food in my mouth quickly. I was in a hurry to escape the noise of the people around me. I just wanted to be alone. First, my car, and then Emma and Todd—today was not my day. The sooner I could get out of this place, the better. I finished my food and said good-bye. I stood and dumped my tray.

  I spent the rest of the day just like the morning as I ignored everyone. I just want out of here. As soon as the final bell rang, I was out the door and walking to the parking lot to look at my Jeep again. Maybe there was something small I could do to keep it going until I could afford a new starter. Yeah, right. I knew my luck, and I knew that I would need a new starter regardless. To
o bad money didn’t grow on trees for me like it did for the rest of these assholes.

  I didn’t even bother to lock up my car this morning. I mean, come on, who would steal my Jeep with all these other fancy cars around? As soon as I reached my car, I opened the glove compartment and pulled out my keys. I stuck them in the ignition and turned, expecting nothing. To my surprise, my car started instantly.

  “What the fuck?” I said as I stared at the steering wheel.

  I shut my car off and got out. I ignored the strange looks I received as I got down underneath my car. Andy had shown me where the starter was this morning, so I knew where to look. My eyes widened in disbelief as I stared at a brand-new starter. What the hell is going on?

  I knew that there was no way Andy had found one already. He was still in school, so that left only one other culprit since I hadn’t even told my mother about my car breaking down. I knew she would try to help pay for it, and I didn’t want to put any extra financial strain on her. Only Emma and Andy had known what was wrong with my car. She had to have been the one who had it repaired for me.

  But the big question was...why? Why would she do this for me when she barely knows me? I wasn’t used to people helping me, and I wasn’t sure what to do. Normally, I would assume that whoever had helped me had done it with ulterior motives, but I doubted that was the case with Emma. There was nothing I could give her that she didn’t already have. I was stumped, but I was determined to figure out why she had helped me.

  I had to be at work soon, but I would corner her tomorrow before school and ask her why she’d helped me. I stood back up and grabbed a notebook from my bag. After scribbling a quick note on a piece of paper, I ripped it out and walked to Emma’s car. I stuck it under the windshield wiper and returned to my car, satisfied that she would know she had been busted. I pulled away from the school and floored it to make it to work on time.

  I sighed as I stared out the window at the ocean beside me as I drove. It had been too long since I’d been out there on a board. Next to tattooing, surfing was my life. There was nothing like being out there—just you against the ocean. I had crashed and burned a lot when I first decided to try it, but now, I conquered it most of the time. I made a mental note to get Andy after school tomorrow and go surfing since I wasn’t scheduled at the shop.