by E. K. Blair
“Nothing, just missing you. I was thinking today how we’ve never gone this long without seeing each other before.”
“I know, I feel it, too. Soon though, I promise. I’ll make it to you soon.”
I shudder at the crack in his voice. His pain is my pain. “Maybe I could make it to you?”
“Well, you know I have speed camp this weekend. I mean, I’m done mid-Sunday, but that doesn’t allow for the drive. I can’t miss class Monday.” His sigh breaks my heart even further.
“It’s okay, we’ll figure out something soon. So, have you seen Kaitlyn around?” I attempt cheerfulness. I know he’s as frustrated as I am, so I force a subject change.
“I actually haven’t yet. Tell her to text me so we can meet up and say hey.”
“Will do, I need to call and catch up with her anyway, maybe invite her down for the weekend. You think she knows how to hall crawl?”
“What the hell is Hall Crawl?”
Oh good, I’m not the only one who didn’t know. “Well, before you panic, there’s no actual crawling. Apparently it’s like open house night, where all the girls follow a pattern and go meet all the guys. They keep their doors open and serve snacks and drinks.” It sounds even more pathetic when said out loud.
“And you’re doing it?”
“Looks like it. I don’t want Bennett to do it alone, which she will if I refuse. Anyway, they’ve been doing it for years, so I guess it will be okay.”
“I don’t like it, Laney. The thought of you going to visit every guy’s room in the dorm doesn’t give me the warm fuzzies.” He sounds mad.
“Ok, why exactly do you feel that way? I’ve already thought about the danger aspect. The resident advisors are in the building.” I understand his concern, I had it initially, but it’s been covered.
“It’s not just that, shortcake. I don’t know. I just don’t want you in other guys’ rooms. Would you like me in other girls’ rooms?”
No, no, I would not, but I choose not to think about things I can’t control. It’s just easier that way.
“Ev, it’s like an open house, a planned event. It’s not me just going to a specific dude’s room just because.”
Am I rationalizing right now? This damn crawl brawl or whatever is not worth fighting with him about. I couldn’t care less about it, but I care about our boundaries. This is exactly why dating whole colleges apart wouldn’t have worked.
“Laney, I don’t want to fight. I’m tired, I’m hungry and I miss you so bad. Maybe I’m being crazy. Let me think and I’ll call you back.”
“Okay.”
I need an objective opinion on this, but my options are few. I can’t ask Kaitlyn, she could never be objective about a “meet guys” situation. I can’t ask Bennett, she wants a partner in crime, and if I ask my dad, he’ll be here packing my stuff within the hour.
Any chance this answer will come up on a Google search? Maybe I could ask Jeeves? Siri? That chick knows everything.
After about an hour of miserably self-analyzing, “Ho Hey” saves me. He’s calling me back.
“Evan.” It’s more an exhale than a word. “I’m sorry, precious girl. Forgive me?”
“Nothing to forgive. I understand you’re looking out for me. I’m not gonna go.”
“No, Laney, go. I was being jealous and dumb. I don’t get to do that, I know. Get out and meet some people.” The silence stretches on for what seems like minutes. His heavy breath comes across the line, the torture audible. “It’s great of you to look out for your roommate. I broke my promise to you. I’m not with you. I can’t expect you to sit and do nothing all the time.”
“You didn’t break a promise, Evan. You are where I am, all the time. Every song, every thought, every day...you’re here.” The agony in my voice impossible to hide. “Did you know this would be so hard?”
“Not even close; I couldn’t have imagined. God, this sucks, I miss you so damn bad I ache, Laney.” He chokes up a bit. “But you need to get out and live. Go to the crawl. I’m so proud of you, taking on the world.”
“Thank you for calling me back and for always having my back. You’re so easy to fight with.” I laugh softly. “I’ll sleep on it and see.”
He sighs. We both do that a lot lately. “Did I mention how much I miss you?”
“Me too, every minute. I’d kill for a Disney marathon in your arms right now.” I can’t help tearing up a little.
“We could fall asleep watching one together. I packed mine for when you visit.” His laugh is fake. “What’s your heart desire tonight, princess?”
“You, here with me.”
“Awww, baby. Damn. You’re killing me.”
“I’m sorry, I know, I know, just slipped out. Ok, I pick The Lion King, sound good?”
“Sounds great,” he mumbles, trying to hide his sigh. And that’s what we did; we did us.
When I woke up the next morning, my call was ended but there was a text waiting.
Evan: Good night and sweet dreams my love, near or far I love falling asleep with you.
Chapter Fourteen
GOTTA CRAWL BEFORE YA WALK
Laney
Classes weren’t too brutal today and practice was short and sweet. Dragging myself into my room, I throw everything at the end of my bed and crash into it face first. I thought I was still undecided on the whole Hall Crawl thing; I should’ve known my mind was made up for me. Bennett’s enthusiasm can barely be contained in our room and she makes me miss Kaitlyn. I’ve got to call her soon. We haven’t talked since school started.
“Get up, girly swirly, we have to get ready! Are you excited? I’m so excited! What a creative way to bring people together!”
Oh God, Bennett is so close to being an obnoxious socialite, but then she throws in the “deeper” meaning at the end. Love her, though, already.
I grumble into the bathroom to shower as she puts her beautiful dark red mane into foam rollers. Amazingly, I’ve adapted to being in the bathroom at the same time as her. Good thing, or else I’d never get to use it.
“You gonna let me make you up tonight, Laney?”
“No. I don’t need to impress anybody. I’m warnin’ ya, B, this is gonna be very low key for me. Oh! I almost forgot, I wanna come up with a word or sign so that if either of us is uncomfortable, it means we’re getting the hell out of dodge.”
“Laney, my personal bodyguard,” she giggles. “You think of everything! Ok, so how about if we say, “‘these shoes are killing me, I have to go change.’ Or we could sneeze three times in a row?”
“Um, I’m not sure I know how to fake sneeze and I’m wearing flip- flops, but sure, sounds good. Will you hand me a towel?”
She tosses me one and urges me to hurry. We have like, two hours, and she’s about to learn firsthand that it doesn’t take me that long to get ready. In fact, I throw on jeans, a nice top and flip flops, dry and straighten my hair, add a little bit of mascara and lip gloss and viola! I’m ready, so I have time to call Kaitlyn.
We talk for a bit, catch each other up about our classes and our teams, but something’s off. It just doesn’t feel like talking to the same Kaitlyn. What a difference a few weeks had made.
“So, do you ever see Evan?”
“Ya, I saw him at a party the other night. He said we should hang, but we’ve both been busy lately. What about you, have you seen him?”
“No, not in weeks now.” I don’t add how much it feels like I’ve lost one of my limbs.
“Ohhh, Laney, you okay? Maybe he and I could do a road trip to you.”
“Yeah, let’s plan it soon. I mean, college is supposed to be awesome, right? I’m so not feeling that way.”
Bennett walks in the room looking glamorous; she really can’t help it. Her little green dress accentuates her perfect figure (I’m guessing size two), auburn locks, and green eyes. She’s one of the most naturally beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. She’s real life Ariel.
“You ready?” she mouths.
“I thought you said college wasn’t awesome? That sounds pretty awesome,” she laughs. “Have some fun for me!”
“Love you, Kait, talk soon.” I feel a little jealous as I hang up, she sounded happy and excited about life. I sounded like a depressive flop. She could literally go search him out and be near Evan in ten minutes if she tried hard enough. I haven’t been near him in what seems like forever.
Bennett looks ready to crawl out of her skin, hands on hips and top tapping, so I paste on a smile.
“Yup—let’s go,” I choke out, forcing my feet to move.
We head down to the student lobby to get checked in and some Elle Woods wannabe slaps a nametag on my chest. “Um, you spelled my name wrong. It’s L-a-n-e-y.”
“Oh well, close enough!” she chirps back at me.
Yeah, she’s really good at her job. Meet and greet people with the wrong name?
“Come on, Laney.” Bennett laughs and speaks too loudly as she pulls me along. “Let’s have some f-u-n.”
Couldn’t have come up with a better one myself.
The first room is occupied by Dumb and Dumber. I’m not a fan of the movie, either. They offer us beers and their snack is cheese in a can, no crackers. I sneeze like five times in a row and pull Bennett out; I have absolutely no tolerance tonight. As we walk down the hall, reviewing those ten minutes we’re never getting back, the RA announces its “switch” time. Way ahead of ya!
Room two belongs to what’s-his-name, a soccer player, and his roommate, who simply gives us a “sup” head nod. They, too, serve beer and no snack. Not that I’m hungry or thirsty, or even trying to feign interest in this whole extravaganza, but were the boys not told to even try? For God’s sake—if you know the parade starts tonight, at least kick your streaked underwear under the bed and switch the trash! How 90% of girls my age aren’t virgins is beyond me. The thought makes me miss perfect Evan, so I walk just outside the door, still with Bennett in view, and text him.
Laney: As if you didn’t b4, you’re looking even more like a Prince now
Evan: Why is that?
Laney: 2 rooms into this and I’ve been offered cheese in a can and spotted streaked underwear. You should be outside of your mind with jealousy.
Evan: Lol. So basically I’m a God, you finally realize it and r now ruined for all other men?
Laney: That was already the case b4 tonight.
Evan: I love it when you say things like that. I miss you.
Laney: Miss you too. Gotta go to hell #3, ttyl.
The RA again announces switch. Putting my phone away, Bennett appears and we head off down the yellow brick road. It won’t even slightly surprise me if the next two are representing the Lollipop Guild.
Try three isn’t a complete loss. Zach and Drew actually remind me a bit of Parker and Matt back home. Zach is a big, football-playing junior who seems nice enough. If I had to put money on it, I’d say he’s 6’4” and 240, but his size isn’t intimidating, the big brother vibe oozes off him. Drew is a huge flirt, but you can tell he’s harmless.
They have wine coolers “for the ladies” and a sweet but pathetic attempt at a spread of finger foods. I take a seat to talk with Zach comfortably; it’s like talking to Parker. He’s quite funny and even finds a marker and fixes my nametag when I tell him that story.
“Hey, blondie,” Drew says from the couch, where he’s sitting with Bennett, “what’s your story?”
So many options on what to do with this...”What, you mean besides the color of my hair? I mean, what more is there really?” I bat my eyelashes at him, cocking one shoulder up to my chin.
“Ya, like you got a boyfriend? Where you from?
Whatever.”
“Um, actually, Bennett, my shoes are killing me.
Let’s go so I can change them.”
“Smooth, uncomfortable flip flops?” Zach smirks, his green eyes teasing me.
I look at him quizzically, he’s on to my BS excuse to leave.
“I have sisters.” He flashes me a beautiful smile, straight white teeth and a dimple. “It was very cool meeting you Laney with an e-y. Nice to meet you, too, Bennett. You girls have a nice night.”
Zach doesn’t seem bad at all. I could see being friends with him.
I’m past ready to “crawl” back to my bed with book, but B keeps begging me into another room, and another one. Bennett, of course, is enthralled with everyone she meets. “It’s about meeting new people, Laney, everyone is different and special.” I secretly think she’s just looking for material for her poems.
Next up, Room 114.
“Hello, ladies, come on in, please.”
We’re greeted by a guy who even I notice is attractive, which doesn’t even come close to what Bennett thinks, judging from her absolute and very uncharacteristic silence. I mean yeah, he’s got a preppy- meets-Adam Levine vibe going, but we’re not making me the spokesperson for damn sure.
Plan B. I guess we are. Bennett is literally a statue. “Hi, I’m Laney, and this Chatty Cathy is my roommate, Bennett.” I shake his hand and then drag B in further.
“Nice to meet you both. I’m Tate Kendrick, and those two in front of Call of Duty are Sawyer, my roommate, and Dane, my little brother.” His voice drops to a whisper, “the blonde is Whitley, the shadow.”
Looking over I see two guys engrossed in a video game, and sure enough, a blonde girl sitting on the couch, watching them. It doesn’t appear that either of them acknowledge her existence, but, there she sits. I wonder which one she likes, both maybe? Hell, at least she does it openly.
She’s pretty with huge breasts that she clearly wants noticed, judging by her shirt. She purses her huge, blood red lips, catching my eye and giving me the once over.
“Make yourselves at home. I’ve got beer, vodka, soda, water...” Tate offers kindly.
“So you live three to this room?” I ask.
“No, Dane doesn’t technically live here, but I don’t think he knows it. Right, bro?”
“What’s that?” Dane has finally realized they have new company and breaks away to come over to us in the kitchenette area. Well, it’s more like space for a small table, mini fridge and a strip of countertop that folds up and down; UGA’s got nothin’ on Southern dorm rooms. Whitley is right behind him...guess that answers my question on which one she’s after.
“I was telling Laney and Bennett here that you can’t stand to be away from your big bro.”
Dane turns to us, and Good Lord...I hope their parents are breeding professionally because they’d make a fortune! If big brother is hot, then little brother is illegal, immortal, and too damn pretty not to be a girl. This guy seriously belongs on the cover of “World’s Sexiest Reasons to Drop Your Panties.”
WTF? Where did that come from? It may be the dirtiest thought I’ve ever had and I feel vulgar that it crossed my mind. But seriously, you’d have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to notice this guy...or a lesbian.
Nope, pretty sure a lesbian would at least do a double-take.
“Hey, I’m Dane. Nice to meet you both.” He’s looking at me when he says it; right at me.
“Laney...Walker, nice to meet you, Dane. This is Bennett.” I nudge her with my shoulder.
“B-B-Bennett Cole. Freshman. Drama. Single. Room 128.”
The boys both laugh while I cook her with my eyes. Seriously, blabber out bio and MY room number much?
“Really?” Whitley says in the nastiest voice I’ve ever heard. I don’t say anything, but this girl is pushing it. I won’t let her dog on Bennett again.
“Ok, well now you know Bennett,” I laugh. Awkward. What do I do? “Um, can I use your bathroom?”
“Sure, door’s right there.” Tate points.
“I’ll show her.” Ah, roommate Sawyer speaketh. “Bennett, would you come with me, please?” It’s not really a request, as I’m dragging her zombie ass by the a
rm. Yes, boys, girls always have to go to the bathroom in pairs, that’s all, I’m not about to kill her.
“It’s right here. Laney, Bennett, I’m Sawyer Beckett. Sorry, didn’t mean to be rude, I just had to finish that game.”
Sawyer’s a big ole badass-looking dude and I don’t mean big like a teddy bear and I don’t mean badass like could hold his own. He’s all out intimidating as hell...until he smiles, which he just did or I’d be running from the room. His hair is dark brown, what he has, anyway, and cut pretty close to his head. I can’t tell right away if his eyes are really dark, deep blue or what, but that’s my guess. He has an eyebrow ring and the biggest muscles I’ve ever seen. Again, not talking Evan muscular, more like competition muscles.
“No problem, nice to meet you. We’ll be out in a minute,” I say as nonchalantly as possible while I shove Bennett in and lock the door.
“Ok, you have three minutes to snap out of it or we’re leaving. You’re the one who wanted to do this thing, Bennett. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I don’t know. I’m so sorry, Laney. I swear to God, this has never happened to me, ever. That Tate, he literally just short-circuited my brain.”
“Do you want to leave?”
“NO! I want to stay, and lick him...well, maybe not really, but I want to stay. Please help me; cover the odd for me. Please kick in and be my wing girl! I know you can do it, for meeeee?”
If I’m her only hope for wing girl, she’s obviously desperate, so pity for that alone takes over. Debating internally for a minute, I give her a confident nod. “Yup, I got this. I’m Laney Walker, all grown up and all alone. Well except for you, B, but you’re not really here right now. I got your back; let’s go!”
I have no idea what I’m saying, but even I’m getting sick of feeling sorry for myself and acting all “sheltered bitch” with everyone, so what the hell. Bennett needs me! And for different reasons altogether, I need her. She’s upbeat, jovial, loving life...the way I was when I was little, before I second guessed everyone’s motives and intentions. I remember it being fun. I know how to hang out with people; I’m not a leper or shut-in...and these people seem cool, right?