Devour

by E. K. Blair

  I walk out of the bathroom determined; I’ll be damned if I give these guys any reason to suspect I’m not a pro at this. The boys appear to be bartending, and Stars of Track & Field is playing, heck ya—I love this song. Sawyer’s glance screams “You two freaky chicks gonna make it?!”

  “Hey, guys, sorry. Soooo love this song.” Oh hell, I am so bad at this.

  “Oh yeah, what’s it called?” Dane smirks.

  “‘End of All Time.’” I shoot him a know-it-all grin.

  Don’t even try it, boy, music is my thing.

  “Very nice.” He winks. He’s a winker. I know someone else who does that, smiling to myself at the thought.

  “This is a great song. I’m Whitley Thompson, by the way,” she puts her hand out to me, long red nails coming at me like daggers.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Laney.”

  “Are you a freshman here, Laney?” The way she just sneered freshman and my name lets me know she’s not trying to be friendly. So why even introduce yourself? I so don’t do catty, and am unclear exactly what the hell her instant problem with me is, but I’ll sure solve it for her if need be.

  “Sure am.”

  “Well, welcome. I’m a junior, captain of the Lovely Larks.” What the heck is a Lovely Lark? She must read my expression because she continues. “It’s the award- winning girls’ acapella performance group.”

  That is pretty cool. “That’s awesome. I actually watched The Sing Off and Pitch Perfect and really liked them both.”

  “Really, are you a singer?”

  She doesn’t care, why is she asking? Why am I still tolerating this conversation? “Oh, God no, I’m a terrible singer,” I laugh. “I’m on the softball team here.”

  “Ohhhhh, you’re a softball player?” So snide...and I’m officially done.

  “I am, wanna see my bat?” I step closer to her, dead calm in my eyes.

  Dane doubles over laughing and Sawyer spews beer all over the place while Whitley turns the color of her lipstick.

  She opens her mouth to say something else, but Bennett cuts in. “Come on, Laney, let’s go.”

  I move to go with her, but Dane speaks up. “Oh no, you guys aren’t leaving, she is. Take off, Whitley. Now.”

  Whitley’s mouth falls open but Dane’s cold stare silences her and she moves to the door. He walks her to it with no words spoken between them. He turns around to us, slightly red-faced, and offers a weak smile.

  The tension in the room is thick, so I try to break it. “I’m really sorry about that. I wouldn’t really take a bat to her. I could always just tie her up and force her to listen to me sing.”

  Dane’s head falls back and he laughs with his whole body, Tate and Sawyer joining him.

  “Damn, Laney, you’re my new favorite person,” Sawyer chuckles.

  “Well, I’m glad I’m somebody’s favorite. I’m sure as hell not Whitley’s...and I’m all torn up about it,” I say, sticking out my bottom lip in my best fake pout. “Enough about me, though.” I change the subject. “So, boys, wanna tell us about yourselves? I mean, maybe not as much as Bennett chose to share.” This gets laughs all around, even Bennett. I’m seriously doing a really good job running this show. Bennett needs to make me a wing girl badge or something.

  “Shut up, bitch. I was nervous.”

  And now I know we’re really friends.

  “What were you nervous about, Bennett?” Tate flashes a beaming smile. He knows the answer. “Very cool name, by the way.”

  Bennett blushes, and she’s a redhead, so it’s noticeable. “I guess I’m keyed up from all of this tonight; feels a little like speed dating.”

  “Good call! It does feel like that,” he agrees with her.

  “Do you agree, Laney?” Dane asks. I look at him and wish I hadn’t.

  Evan is athletic, manly and gorgeous, whereas Dane is...beautiful. He, too, has brown hair, but it purposefully has a trendy cut and style to it. I doubt he’s ever shoved it in a backwards ball cap like my sweet Evan. His eyes are big and brown and he smiles all the way through them. His skin is dark, like he’s tan all year round, and he carries himself with a kind but yeah, I know you’re looking air.

  He’s not as tall as Evan, not as broad, but he’s built and muscular. His dark designer jeans and red polo fit him just right. Around his neck hangs a small silver cross on leather and I can see a tattoo on the inside of his bicep. It looks like a verse from here. This boy really should be in print or on a movie screen, and I can just appreciate the view like one would a movie star, right? Right.

  Breaking away from my examination, I’m able to answer him. “I don’t know anything about speed dating, but this night has not felt speedy.”

  WAIT, I got it! The movie Sweet Home Alabama; Evan is like Jake and Dane like Andrew...nailed that analogy! I can’t wait to tell Bennett later. Not that I’m comparing, just proud of my cleverness. Crap, pretty sure I’m being asked another question...

  “You haven’t had fun?” He smiles coyly, looking right in my eyes again. Geez, this is new. I don’t notice guys, or their tattoos, or necklaces. And why do I suddenly feel so guilty?

  “Fun wouldn’t be the right word. This by far is the least painful room of the night, though, so congratulations.”

  He laughs at me; so does Bennett. She hasn’t moved from Tate’s side, and blatant staring doesn’t seem to be above her, either. Oh, and he notices; he leans in every time he talks to her.

  “So, somebody besides Bennett wanna tell us about themselves?”

  “How about you?” Dane can challenge with just his eyes I’m quickly learning.

  “No, no...someone else can go first. I’m super uninteresting. “

  “I doubt that.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, I’m not gonna have to suggest Truth or Dare, am I?” I roll my eyes at them all. “And hurry, it’s gotta be close to switch soon.” We've definitely been in here the longest of the night.

  “That was the last switch of the night.” Dane winks again.

  “Oh, okay, then I’m jammies and bed bound. Come on, Bennett. Nice to meet you guys!” I start to walk to the door but turn back. Why is Bennett not following me?

  “Hold up now, ya’ll don’t have to run off! I, personally, could go for a game or something. Damn, it’s like ten on a Friday,” Sawyer chimes in with a frown.

  “Yeah, Laney, come on, it’ll be fun!” Bennett squeals.

  Oh, that lil enamored redhead! “Um...” Do I look as uncomfortable as I feel? I was being a smartass about the Truth or Dare; I don’t actually need to know anything about anyone. I just thought Bennett would want Tate’s stats. Forget this wing girl crap.

  Dane walks over to me and leans one hip on the counter. “Laney, why don’t you go put on those jammies.” He grins. “And come back. I’ll order a pizza.”

  His nearness doesn’t go unnoticed and I cringe at my body’s betrayal. “I’m not wearing pajamas in front of boys I just met!”

  “Um, Laney,” Bennett butts in sheepishly, “I’ve seen your pjs; they’re fine.”

  Dane raises an eyebrow at me.

  We just met these guys. It’s late and the official crawl is over so now it would be me in a guy’s room just for the hell of it; Evan’s concerns echo in my head.

  “Nah, I’m getting tired. I need my room, Bennett.”

  “I’d feel a lot better if you’d come with me.” “Perfect, game and pizza in our room, guys!” Alrighty, Bennett totally missed the plot. Ugh.

  “Laney, what do you want on your pizza?” There’s a god-like boy who’s practically a stranger yelling through my bathroom door. This night has gone way off track, but this is Bennett’s room, too, and she’s really in to Tate, and thou shalt not cockblock.

  “Anything...except peppers. Or onions. Oh, and no anchovies!”

  “So...pepperoni?” So smug, that Dane.

  “Sure.” This is my room. I’m coming out in my pajamas.

  “What the fuck are those?” Sawyer
’s face looks pained, like my sleepwear is actually the biggest disappointment he’s ever had.

  “You kiss anyone with that mouth, Sawyer?” He gives me the same weird look I always get when I say it, but yeah, I’d had to change the phrase.

  “Sorry! But seriously, Laney. Hot girl says she’s putting on pajamas, I’m thinking she’s gonna show me her secrets, like sweet Victoria. So what are you wearing?”

  “I’m wearing my pajamas, and I don’t have any secrets.” I don’t. Well, I might...haven’t decided if I’m telling Evan anything more about tonight or not yet.

  “Oh, I bet you do,” he says with a leer.

  Dane’s leaning back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest, smiling right at me. It’s a familiar pose that tugs at my heart, all the while I wonder why I consciously take note of where he is in the room. When I catch his gaze, he crooks his finger at me to join him.

  I walk closer to him, but not too close. “Yeah?” “Laney, I’ve known you a minute, but I can tell you’re uncomfortable. I can make all this go away right now if you want. I’ll take my boys back to their room, and I’ll even leave you some pizza here. Just say the word.”

  Dane’s giving me an out, I should definitely take the out...I turn to look at Bennett. She’s sitting on the couch with Tate, Sawyer leaning over them. They’re writing and laughing and eating...I look back to Dane.

  “Can I be honest with you?” I ask sheepishly, but for some reason, I get the distinct feeling I can.

  “No, lie straight to my face. I love it when people do that,” he simpers. “Yes, tell me.”

  “I don’t feel unsafe or anything, but this is weird. Two girls invite three guys they just met into their dorm room? Well, one girl, at least; not sure I invited anyone.” I smile to alleviate any harshness. “I just don’t know about all this. No sense in going all out the first social event, right?” I chew my bottom lip a little.

  “I get it, and I’m not surprised you get it, frankly.” “What do you mean?”

  “Well, not many girls don’t want us in their rooms. Take your roommate, for example, she’s not thinking about getting us to leave. In fact, she’s in cahoots with Sawyer, whether she’s realized it yet or not.”

  “Uh, huh?” Still lost.

  “Laney, they’re over there getting 21 questions ready to play. They both want to play some BS game; Sawyer so he can get to know you and Bennett so she can get to know Tate. They’ll base it on shots so that everyone gets loose-lipped and tells their real story. This is college, Laney; guys and girls feeling their way through the masses until they find their someone. Using games and booze masks the fact they’re too scared and insecure to just ask questions openly. It’s just everyone playing the same game, Laney. But if you don’t like this, or feel too uncomfortable, I’ll fix it.”

  He’s right. Well, about Bennett, anyway; who knows about Sawyer. Bennett’s just a girl who likes this new boy and really just wants to get to know him. The game and shots give her an outlet to do that. Man, Dane’s got it all figured out and he puts it right out there. I like and respect that. If he’s running a game to fool me, he deserves an Oscar; I’m picking up no deceit.

  “Ok, Mister Meaning of Life, I have a few stipulations.”

  “Shoot.”

  “No boys sleep here. At some point, you drag them out. If Bennett gets too drunk, you take my hint to end things.” I tick off my rules on my fingers. “No one gets naked, no one has sex. No one invites anyone else over. No one tags this on Facebook, no one tweets...oh, and no one steals my pizza. Sound good?” I quirk an eyebrow and cross my arms over my chest.

  He smiles and laughs. “Yeah, Laney, that sounds good. Now relax and quit worrying. Can you do that?”

  It seemed like a rhetorical question so I don’t answer him.

  “No harm will come to you whenever I’m around, I swear it. Welcome to college, Laney; welcome to life.”

  “Game on!” Sawyer yells from the living area.

  So apparently the game is 21 questions, and not as trite as Truth or Dare. Sure. Bennett has claimed the spot right beside Tate on the couch, and I do mean right beside him. Sawyer grabs the chair and Dane and I sit on the floor on opposite sides of the coffee table. We all had to put four questions in the cup, which is only 20 questions, but no one seemed to care. If you refuse to, or can’t answer a question, you do a shot. I’ve never done a shot, but I’m pretty smart, so I’m not too worried.

  “Ok, ladies first, one of you draw and we’ll go clockwise.”

  Bennett’s hand is in the cup before Sawyer finishes his directions. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” She blushes when she finishes reading.

  I choke a bit on my sip of Dew. Clearly I didn’t know the kind of questions to expect! Looks like my GPA won’t be saving me from shots tonight. Shit.

  “Um.” She looks to the ceiling and taps her chin. Well, shit, she’s going to answer, and she appears to have to think about it! “Fifteen.”

  I subtly tap my chest so I don’t choke on my bite of pizza and stare at the ground.

  “Sixteen.” Not Sawyer’s question, but he shares with the class.

  “Fourteen! Mitzi Shawn, beat ya both!” Tate adds while giving Sawyer a fist bump.

  Neither Dane nor I say a word. It wasn’t my question, so I’m pretty sure it doesn’t apply, but I will drink the whole damn bottle before I answer with “not applicable.”

  “OK, my turn.” Tate draws his slip. “When’s the last time you got laid and by who?” WTF! PLEASE let me draw one of my own questions. “Well, it was about three weeks ago, but I don’t kiss and tell, except about Mitzi,” he laughs, “so I’ll do the shot.” And he does.

  Dane’s turn is next, and I already feel sorry for him; Lord knows what it will say.

  “What are your three favorite Disney movies?” He looks at me and a genuine smile lights up his face, it takes up the whole room. “Hmmm, I wonder whose question this is? Could it be, could it be...the little cutie in the princess pajamas?” He winks at me. “Let’s see...I’m gonna go with Toy Story...”

  Classic boy pick. “Monsters, Inc...” Great choice.

  “and...oh, of course, The Fox and the Hound.”

  “Oh my God, dude, you’re a fag.” Sawyer throws a wadded up napkin at him.

  Dane just shrugs his shoulders and sneaks a peek at me. I’m just staring at him. I really liked his answer.

  My turn. I could possibly throw up right now... “What would be your ideal date?”

  “Oh yay, I was hoping you’d draw that!” Bennett squeals and claps.

  I think of Evan, all the times we went to eat, to prom, fishing...were those ideal? I have no idea, but they were to me because Evan was there. Would I enjoy those things without him? Probably not, but he’s gone and I haven’t enjoyed much lately. I don’t even really like softball anymore. I feel tears welling up...strangers, people examining me, it’s all too much.

  “I’ll take the shot,” I say and do just that. It burns, just like the backs of my eyes. I look up and Dane has me locked in his gaze, but he doesn’t say a word.

  Sawyer also draws one of mine. “What makes you happiest? Laney, did you ask one dirty question?” He gives me a teasing scowl.

  “That could be a dirty question, depending on your answer!” I stick my tongue out at him, earning a laugh from everyone.

  “Pussy, beer, and sports make me happiest, probably in that order.” Sawyer is a pig, but in a “he’ll grow on ya” kind of way.

  After a few more rounds, I know way too much about everyone. I downed two shots and revealed nothing important or embarrassing, as Dane and Bennett went easy on the questions, too.

  Finally Dane stands. “Guys, it’s getting late. Let’s go so these ladies can get to bed.”

  “You don’t have to leave yet, right, Laney?” Bennett pleads at me with her eyes.

  I say nothing because I’m tired.

  “Tate, come on, man. Sawyer, get your ass up and sa
y goodnight.”

  Tate leans over to whisper in Bennett’s ear when she sees him to the door and Sawyer shuffles out, mumbling, after giving me an awkward hug.

  Dane stops and turns to me. “Night, Disney, hope tonight was okay for you.”

  A nickname? Already? Not sure he’s earned that privilege yet, but it’s such a good one that I let it slide.

  “Yeah, no worries. It was fun.” I shrug.

  “You’re lying to me. Half of the questions horrified you,” he laughs.

  “Nah, some of them were funny. It was...different, good different.”

  “Well then, I’m glad. Sweet dreams.”

  I go to bed without calling Evan, not even a text, because I feel guilty, although I’m not sure why. He does the same, apparently, and that makes it hard to fall asleep.

  Chapter Fifteen

  A PICTURE’S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

  Laney

  It’s raining when I wake up, a perfect Saturday. There’s coffee made and Bennett’s gone, a note says she’ll be home later tonight; she’s off working on her play. I move slowly, picking up the room and bagging up my laundry, and then take a shower. I try to call Evan. It goes to voicemail, so I call home.

  It’s so good to talk to Dad. I tell him all about my classes and Bennett. He, of course, asks about the team and the coach. I keep my tone enthusiastic before finally telling him I love him and will see him soon.

  Completely out of things to do now, I decide to go get in some swings in the indoor practice arena. I’m not really motivated about ball, but I literally have nothing else to do and at least it’s something I “know.”

  I was always content at home, but now it feels like I’m disconnected from myself. Nothing seems really right or really wrong, but I know I’m just going through the motions. I miss home. I miss Evan and all that was constant, safe, and familiar.

  But then there’s this other little voice in the background that hates that everyone around me seems comfortable, making the most of college, friends, parties, whatever...I’m stuck in the middle, of out of my zone but afraid to explore the other side.

  I swing until I’m drenched in sweat and my arms are rubbery and then head back to the dorm. Two hours and another shower later, Bennett still isn’t home. I still have no homework and my call to Evan goes to voicemail again. Okay, now it’s bugging me. Evan’s never missed two of my calls in a row, but I simply cannot bring myself to send a text, too. Don’t be that girl, Laney. I should be happy that he obviously has more to keep him busy than I do; above all, I do want him happy.