Devour

by E. K. Blair

Steam billows out as I open the door and walk back into the bedroom, scrubbing a towel through my damp hair.

  “Come here, baby,” he says to me, sitting in the overstuffed chair in the corner.

  “Thank you.” I smile as I saunter to him, motioning to my new outfit.

  “You’re very welcome, beautiful. They look lovely.”

  I climb onto his lap and wait impatiently for...I don’t know.

  “Promise me you’ll let me finish before you react, and that you will try to remember, no matter your initial instinct, that anything I ever do is because I love you. I want to take care of you, in every single way. I want to be the one you come to when you need or want something, when you’re hurt, sad, scared...anything. Even if it’s me that pisses you off, I want it to be me you scream at about it.” He reaches behind the chair and pulls out a folder; not a present. “Promise me,” he reiterates.

  “You’re scaring me,” I whisper.

  “Laney, you are my forever, and we can’t move forward until we clear up the past. I would never put you in a bad spot, I of course checked things out first, and feel sure this is something you need to know. I will help you every single step of the way, baby.” He hands me the folder and moves his arms tightly around my waist.

  I open it, hands trembling with the anticipation of the unknown. The first thing that catches my eye is a picture of my mother; I’d know her anywhere. I quickly slam the folder shut and jerk my eyes to Dane. “What is this?!”

  “It’s your mom, Laney. It’s important that you know; I didn’t just set out to find your mom, get in your business. It started as my desire to keep you safe and it led here,” he grabs my hand and squeezes, his eyes full of doubt. “You told me about the stalker and it worried me, badly. You got flowers on your birthday—”

  “Those were from Evan,” I interrupt, agitation in my voice.

  “You got another delivery, while you were out. I had Tate open the card, I admit it, and I didn’t like the message. So,” he lets out a shaky breath, “I did some digging. Sometimes money comes in handy, like when you’re trying to track down a stalker. I only did it to keep you safe, Laney, I swear to you. I had only the best intentions.”

  I believe him, but I still feel somewhat violated. “You and Tate had no right to open the card,” I huff.

  “You’re absolutely right, and for that you should probably be angry, but I’m not sorry I did.”

  No response jumps off my tongue, so I simply give him the “go on” big eyes.

  “Your stalker is not a stalker at all,” he pauses, taking both my hands in his and rubbing my wrists with his thumbs, “it’s your mother. You told me the gifts and things popped up sporadically, yes?” I nod, the word mother still knocking around in my head. “I’m guessing at big moments for you; moments a mother would also think were a big deal.”

  Holidays, birthdays, prom, starting college...yes, contact was almost always on a milestone. “She kept up with you, Laney. She’s watched you grow up as much as possible, from afar.”

  Barely able to comprehend, I stand and begin to pace the room. So many questions and different emotions are flowing through me right now that I can’t organize my thoughts. I concentrate on breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth and raise my hands behind my head.

  “Laney, your mom, she’s not evil, nor does she not love you, she’s just not well. I’m not supposed to know this, but I had to find out, for you.” He’s moved to me now, hands bracing my shoulders. “She’s schizophrenic, Laney.”

  “What? I mean, how?” I’m sputtering incoherently, more thinking out loud than actually asking a question.

  “Your mom lives in a facility where they make sure she eats, bathes, and takes her medicine. Most days she doesn’t comprehend reality, Laney. She left to protect you, to give you a normal life. But in moments of clarity, she always made sure you got something on your big moments.” He pulls me into a hug, which for a moment offers comfort, but I quickly pull back, still reeling from so many conflicting emotions. “As far as I can tell, she has a cousin who visits her regularly and must have helped her with the execution. That, to me, says she loves you. When she’s thinking clearly, she’s thinking of you.” He falls silent now and just watches me, his eyes following my path back and forth across the floor.

  “Why would my dad not have told me this?” How can they just lock her up, or whatever, and not tell her family? She could have been dead for all we knew!” The dam I’ve built for years breaks all at once, and my body shakes with the sobs. Images of my mother, alone and afraid, tucked away in some padded room, replace all the ones I’d created to protect myself; her happy with a new family, just not wanting me.

  “I’m sure your dad doesn’t know. Like you, he assumes she just left. Like you, he’s dealt with the pain all this time of thinking she didn’t want him, either. Like I said, it took some doing for me to find her.”

  “I have to tell him,” I say, maybe out loud, I’m not sure.

  He moves behind me, wrapping his arms around me. “Baby, are you okay? Can I hold you?”

  Part of me feels like I should be angry with him right now, but the feel of his arms around me washes that away this time. He’s found my mom and solved the stalker mystery; he’s given me back love and safety in one fell swoop. Dane takes care of me, in more ways than he sometimes even means to, and damn if that doesn’t feel so right. It’s that sense of having someone put you first that I choose to cling to instead of some passing anger. I’m not his cause and he’s not saving me, so I don’t have to feel like a bitter pity-case; he’s pulling his weight as part of the team. That’s what Dane and I are, equals, a team.

  “You can always hold me,” I murmur, turning into him and burying my tear-stained face in his chest. “Just don’t open my cards anymore, nosy butt.”

  He swats my bottom and laughs. “I love you so much, Laney. I’m going to try my hardest not to scare you off with the intensity of it. I have a tendency to want and control everything around me, but I know if I go overboard, I’ll suffocate who you are, and I wouldn’t change who you are for anything in the world. So...” He hugs me tighter and leans down to brush his lips lightly against mine. “I’ll work on it, I promise.”

  “Don’t change too much,” I mutter into his shirt, “I kinda like ya the way you are.”

  So much for getting anything done today; the sun is low in the sky when I wake up from the nap I’d fallen into. The phone call to my dad had been exhausting and highly emotional. As Dane suspected, he really had no idea about my mother either, thinking all this time she had just left us. Obviously there’d been signs of a problem, like maybe depression, but to finally know the gravity of her condition floored us both, to say the least. I told my dad I wasn’t ready to make any big decisions; there’d be no phone calls, letters or visits to see her in my immediate future. I need time to process, at my own speed, and he’s very accepting of that, as had Dane.

  “Whatever you want or need, Laney, that’s what we’ll do. If you want to go see her, we’ll do that, whenever you want. I also did some looking, and found a specialist nearby that we, or you, can visit with and talk about what the diagnosis entails, if you’d like to do that. Anything that helps you, baby, I’ll make it happen.”

  Thinking back on Dane’s supportive words, knowing I can lean on him as much as I need to, my heart and mind feel lighter. I have to admit, there’s also a new feeling inside me, one I have yet to come to terms with, but like, knowing my mother kept up with me, cared about me, all this time. If I choose, I can see her, talk to her...maybe even hug her.

  Now that all that’s settled, as much as it can be for the time being, I’m starving! I quickly freshen up just a bit and creep quietly down the stairs, unsure of where everyone in the house is right now. Skidding to a halt, I hear Bennett’s laughter in the kitchen. Shit! She and Tate will know I slept here, and—

  “Get in here, baby!” his voice carries around the corner.

  How d
oes he do that?

  Great, now I have to try and walk in casually, like I haven’t just been hiding around the corner. I hold up my head, throw my shoulders back, and glide in. Well, as close as I come to gliding. I needn’t have worried; Dane’s brilliant smile as I enter sets my soul at ease. I don’t care what anyone else thinks; that man loves me. He holds out an arm and I walk into it, wrapping mine around his waist and snuggling into his chest.

  “Hello, roomie,” Bennett giggles. I peek at her and give a finger wave as Tate chuckles beside her.

  “Tate!” I scurry around the island and wrap him in a hug. “You look great! How are you feeling?”

  “I feel good, a little better every day,” he answers with a smile.

  We’d come so close to losing him, and looking at him now, knowing how much he means to Dane, it makes me shiver. I make my way back to the sanctuary of Dane’s arms, silently laughing at myself. All of a sudden I am so touchy feely, and it feels so natural.

  “So, what are you guys doing tonight?” Bennett asks.

  Looking down at me, Dane waits for my answer. I flush a bit. “I want to sit in the hot tub,” I whisper.

  He turns his head so fast I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t feel it tomorrow. “We’re going in the hot tub. You guys have a good night.”

  Tate smirks at his brother’s polite dismissal as Dane pulls me toward the door.

  This time in a bikini, I ease down into the hot water and let out a long moan.

  “Are you sore?” Dane asks me sweetly, rubbing my shoulders as I lean back between his legs.

  “If you mean what I think you mean, then yeah, kinda.”

  “I’m sorry, baby.” He crooks his neck to kiss my cheek. “Thank you so much for enduring it. What you gave me,” he sighs, “was amazing. There’ll never be anything better, Laney, never.”

  A tingle runs through me and I lay my head back against him. We stay in a long, comfortable silence until the sound of his voice actually jars me from almost asleep.

  “Are you okay, with everything?” He runs his hands up and down my arms, kissing my temple softly.

  I turn my face to him and smile. “I actually am. It’s a lot to take in, but having you, and my dad, I know I’ll be fine. I just need some time to process.”

  He nods in understanding, giving me a gentle, comforting smile. “My strong girl, I love you.”

  I kiss his nose, leaving my lips there and sigh contently.

  “Will you invite your dad here for Christmas?” he asks.

  I look at him questioningly. Not go home for Christmas?

  “He can stay here. I’ll order in a big meal, anything you want.” His brown eyes are pleading with me.

  “Okay.” The truth is I won’t leave Dane alone for Christmas for anyone, not even my dad. Dane is now my first priority. It’s crazy how a moment of instant clarity sneaks up on you and poof—you know exactly what you want. No doubts, no excuses, and no apologies.

  “Okay?” His smile lights up his handsome features.

  I giggle and nod eagerly. “We can’t do, um, anything while he’s here, though.”

  “Then he’s not staying very long,” he teases, sinking his teeth into my neck.

  Chapter Forty

  GIFTED

  Laney

  Dane ordered in a wonderful, catered feast that we enjoyed with Dad, Tate, and Bennett. Everyone laughed, stuffed themselves, and had a wonderful holiday. After the meal, I forced Dane to play some holiday classics on the piano which Bennett was all too happy to sing. Dad loved his hunting trip present and he got me a new fishing pole, batting gloves, and some money. It was an ideal time and I couldn’t have wished for anything better. The next afternoon, I walked my dad to his truck, nervously bouncing from one foot to the other. I’d never told my father a major lie in my life and had certainly never asked him to cover for me, but that mold had now been broken. I begged him to please pretend, if anyone happened to ask, that I was sick with the flu. He knew exactly who I meant by “anyone.” I was now with Dane for good, and I just couldn’t bear to break Evan’s heart over the holidays, so my plan was to lay low. He’d agreed, but only when I promised to make things right as soon as possible. His hesitation had nothing to do with my choice in Dane, he seemed to really like him, but he thought the world of Evan and didn’t support me dragging out any more pain than necessary.

  I agree completely, hurting Evan couldn’t be farther from my goal, but who rips someone’s heart out over Christmas? Not to mention, I’m not going to tell him over the phone or via text, and if I try to go home to tell him, Dane will want to come...and I’m not “ganging up” on Evan. I’ll tell him, alone, when it’s right. Until then, I’m just gonna have to live with the self-attached title of Chicken-shit.

  “You ready for bed, baby?” Dane sneaks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

  “Mhmmm,” I answer, exhausted. It’s been a long day and I can’t think of anything in the world I want to do more than snuggle in with him. I shriek as he sweeps me up in his arms, carrying me up the stairs into his bedroom. He sets me down in the bed, gently pushing me back and tucking the covers under my chin before walking around and climbing into his side. His side. A sleepy smirk sneaks up on me when I think about the fact that I just labeled the sides of his bed.

  His breathy, whispered words once he’s tightened up against my back get my attention. “If you’re tired, I understand. But if not, your Christmas present is under your pillow.”

  Well now he knew he had me at “present.” My eyes pop open. “You got me a new outfit. And let’s not forget you found my mother. I’d say you’ve met the present quota.” I roll over and smile at him.

  “So you don’t need any more presents then? That’s okay; I’ll just give it to Bennett.” He slinks a hand under the pillow to nab my present so I roll over, pulling him on top of me.

  “Very funny, smarty-pants. You know I want that present so bad I can’t see straight, but I wanted to make sure you also knew that you’ve already done too much.”

  “Baby, I could shower gifts on you every single day and never give you enough. You’re my world and I love making you happy.” He starts kissing my neck slowly, softly, and I forget what I was going to say. “So you’ll take your present, right?”

  “Of course I will, but you already knew that, you big tease.” I poke him in the ribs. He rolls onto his back, taking me with him so I now sit on top of him, straddling his hips. He reaches under my pillow and does pull out the gift this time, handing it to me. Gripping my hips, his eyes glaze as he licks his bottom lip. “Open it right here, where I can stare up at you.”

  Fumbling, I unwrap it and gasp, my hand flying to my mouth. I shake my head and giggle. “You got us tickets to Hawaii?”

  He nods and leans up to lift my shirt slightly, placing a kiss on my stomach. “Two weeks, me and you, in Kauai.”

  “But when? I mean, I have school soon. And you, don’t you have work?”

  His lips never leave my body, kissing and nipping my belly, waking up every butterfly, so his words are said into my enflamed skin. “Look at the dates on the tickets, baby. We’re going during your Spring Break.”

  Sure enough, the tickets are dated for exactly when I have almost two full weeks off. My heart beats faster and delight coats my face. He’d booked these tickets when? Before I officially chose him? I’ll bet he did; a giant leap of faith in “us.” He was sure we’d be together months from now. Not that he’ll top Disney World, he simply never will, but he upped the stakes. He sees us as a “we,” and planned this trip, his future, on that. Knowing he really is as invested in me as I plan to be in him mentally excites me, the message soon reaching the rest of my body. I toss the tickets to the side and collapse on top of him, thanking him properly.

  The next morning I wake with a stretch, frowning when I realize I’m alone. A quick scan confirms Dane isn’t in the bedroom or bathroom, and while I’m anxious to go find him, I also realize it’s the perfec
t time to reach out to Evan. Dane doesn’t give me much alone time and I know Evan’s wondering why I’m not home for break, so I need to say something to him.

  I find my phone on top of Dane’s dresser and turn it on to madly scroll through all the text messages from Evan. Yup—he wants to know where I am. It takes about five attempts at a message, deleting and starting again, before I’ve got one my conscience can live with and I hit send.

  Laney: Merry Christmas Ev! My dad came here for Xmas & that kept me busy. Now I’m sick so just gonna stay here, but I’ll call you soon. Need 2 catch up on things. Hug your parents for me and have a gr8 break!

  That’s all I can say right now and I just hope it placates him enough where he can enjoy his time at home until I figure out a way to talk to him face to face. Who knows, maybe he’s met someone, too? Surprisingly, that thought doesn’t make me sick, but rather makes me smile. I do so want Evan to be happy, loved, and cherished. He’s worthy of a woman looking at him the way I now look at Dane.

  Dane! I flick my phone off and shove it under my pillow, and after a half-assed attempt at straightening my clothes and hair, I scamper down the stairs to search him out. My body already tingles at the thought of finding him.

  “Well hello, sleepyhead.” Bennett beams at me from her perch at the kitchen counter.

  “Hey, B, where’re the boys?”

  “I don’t know, some Top Secret mission, said they’d be back in an hour. I made it very clear Tate can’t handle any more activity than that.” She snaps her fingers. “Oh, and Dane said to tell you, and I quote, ‘she looked like Heaven so I didn’t want to wake her, but I’ll be back soon and I love you.’ So sweet, Laney, you’re so lucky.”

  “That I am.” I blush. “I’m gonna jump in the shower then. What are you gonna do?”

  “I think I’ll enjoy the hot tub,” she teases, “since it’s actually free.”

  I head upstairs with a chuckle. She’s right—I do love that hot tub.

  Chapter Forty-One