Unconditional

by Holly Copella

“I’ve never been a fan of normalcy.”

  Indy resisted the temptation to laugh at his comment. He was back to the man she knew and loved, but she didn’t want him to get off topic. He was good at changing the subject if he was attempting to avoid it. Harlan considered her comment while watching her across the room where she leaned against the closed door.

  “Must we have this conversation with you standing ready at the door?” he questioned and indicated her hand clutching the doorknob behind her. “I’m thinking you’re a flight risk.”

  Harlan moved over on the bed and patted the empty spot alongside him. Indy was immediately reminded of Christmas Eve, when he patted the bed, and she joined him. It was an action that led to the biggest mistake of her life, yet one of her fondest memories. Harlan suddenly hesitated as if reading her mind and smiled meekly.

  “Oh, that’s right,” he remarked softly. “We had a little problem the last time, didn’t we?” Harlan groaned softly and allowed his head to fall against the headboard. “I really screwed things up, didn’t I?”

  Indy knew she couldn’t let him think that. She uncertainly approached the bed and joined him, allowing some space between them even though she wanted to curl up in his arms. He stared at her despite that she kept her eyes on the television. She feared looking him in the eyes. Her emotions were all over the place, and she feared any little thing might send her into his arms. Their situation was already tense. She didn’t need to add to it.

  “What happened between us that night wasn’t your fault. I take full responsibility,” she announced firmly, despite not looking at him. “You weren't in your right mind. I was, and I should have been the one to stop it.”

  “I don't see it that way. I was aggressive and persistent.” He hesitated, drew a deep, tense breath, and looked away. “Maureen told me she was filing for divorce six months ago. Our marriage ended shortly after it began, I was just unwilling to accept it.” Harlan shifted on the bed while avoiding looking at her. “We hadn’t shared a bed in over five years.” His frown told the bigger story. “I’m fairly confident she’s been seeing someone else.”

  Indy looked at his profile and stared at him with surprise. Just another reason for her to hate Maureen. Maureen had everything Indy had ever dreamed of having, yet she was willing to toss Harlan out with the trash.

  “I'm sorry, Harlan,” she whispered softly.

  “I was too, for a while,” he replied then looked at her and studied her expression. His look turned serious and an awkward silence followed. He inhaled deeply and finally spoke. “I realize I wasn't in my right mind when I came on to you, but I want you to know that those feelings were real. You’ve been a major part of my life as long as I can remember.”

  “Growing up with you in my life is what makes this so hard,” Indy replied softly while fighting the urge to cry.

  Harlan groaned softly and looked at the ceiling a moment, as if searching for some divine inspiration. He finally looked back at her and stared into her eyes.

  “That’s not what I meant.” He hesitated then turned slightly on his hip to face her and took her hand in his. “I loved you like a daughter when you were a child, and I loved you like a sister when you were a teenager. Then, when I returned home from a five-month deployment, I saw you at your high school graduation, and all that changed. That little girl was gone. That’s the day I fell in love with my commander’s daughter.”

  Indy stared at Harlan, and for a moment, she was unable to speak or even think. She wanted to throw herself on him and do things she was ashamed even to admit. As her brain began functioning again, she realized his words weren’t those from a romance novel. There could be no happy ending for them. He was loyal to her father, and he would never go against his wishes. If anything, Indy was apt to defy her father more than Harlan was, yet she doubted she could betray her father in that way either. Her heart ached as they continued to stare into each other’s eyes.

  “I’ve loved you as long as I can remember,” Indy finally replied with sadness. “I can’t simply forget what happened between us.” She caressed his hand holding hers and looked down while fighting her tears. “I just don’t know where we go from here.”

  She looked back up and met Harlan’s gaze. He stared back with a moderately baffled look.

  “If this is about me returning to active duty, that chapter in my life is over,” Harlan informed her. “I’m damaged goods. I can’t go back to that lifestyle.”

  Now it was Indy’s turn to feel puzzled. It was almost as if they were talking about completely different subjects. She sometimes felt Harlan thought she was capable of reading his mind. No one could read Harlan’s mind. It was physically impossible.

  “I wasn’t talking about you returning to active duty,” she replied while trying to understand the entire conversation. “I meant us.”

  “I was talking about us too,” Harlan replied. “It’s a simple question, Indy. Either you want a relationship or you don’t. I’d like to stay here with you and the commander, but not if it’s going to make you uncomfortable.”

  Indy’s mind was suddenly reeling at the words coming from his mouth. Had she understood what he was saying? Was he willing to defy her father and resume their relationship right under her father’s nose? Her heart was pounding in response. If she defied her father, would he really hold it against her? Her mouth opened slightly as if to respond, but she was having a difficult time convincing herself to speak as she stared into Harlan’s eyes.

  “I didn’t know a romantic relationship was an option,” she finally blurted out with renewed enthusiasm.

  Her heart continued to pound. She was actually willing to do it. She was willing to go against her father to have Harlan in her life! He stared at her and remained slightly puzzled.

  “Of course it’s an option,” he boldly announced. “Why would you think it wasn’t?” Harlan hesitated then appeared curious. “Because your father is my best friend, my former commanding officer, and the only man capable of making my death look like an accident?”

  Indy stared at him and held her breath. “Yeah, something like that.”

  Harlan smiled warmly and affectionately kissed the back of her hand. The sensation sent shock waves through her body. She couldn’t take her eyes off him.

  “After a long talk,” Harlan announced then muttered, “and a little hand-to-hand combat, we came to an arrangement. I don’t break your heart, and he won’t tear out mine. Other than that, he reluctantly approved of us.”

  Indy stared at him with surprise as her heart continued to pound. “But earlier he said--”

  Indy considered her earlier conversation with her father. “If it ever came down to you or him; you’d win every time, you know that. Please, darling, don’t ever force me to make that decision.” Her father hadn’t been threatening to cast Harlan out if they started seeing each other, he was just asking her to be certain Harlan was the one. He didn’t want to lose his best friend if their relationship didn’t work. Indy stared at Harlan and fought her tears. She moved closer to him on the bed and placed her hands to his face.

  “I don’t want to lose you again,” she whispered nearly down to tears. “And I’m willing to risk my father’s wrath if it means we can be together.”

  Harlan kissed her quickly but passionately on the lips then pulled away and met her gaze with a broad grin.

  “And I’m willing to suffer having Flynn as my father-in-law just to be with you.”

  Indy threw her arms around Harlan’s neck and clung to him, fighting her tears of joy. He held her in a tight embrace with the promise of never letting go. Harlan pulled back just far enough to seek her lips with his and kissed her warmly but passionately. Indy kissed him back with added aggression, barely able to contain her rising passion. Harlan returned the aggressive kiss and gently lowered her to the bed.

  The End

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