Dollars (Dollar #2)

by Pepper Winters

  “Can’t give out personal information.”

  “It’s an old account and of no value to you. If not the name, give me the address.”

  She sighed dramatically. “Listen, like I just said. No can do.”

  Goddammit, I hated technology. If I was in front of her, I could’ve subtly bribed her to give me what I wanted. With miles of ocean between us and a crackly phone line, I had no way of changing her mind. “Is there anything you can tell me?”

  She chirped smugly, “Nope. Have a nice day.”

  The dial tone buzzed in my ear as she hung up. That just fucked me off. I respected her doing her job but being rude was not permitted under any circumstances.

  Bitch.

  I slammed my satellite phone onto my desk and swiped over a holder of pens. “Fuck.”

  It wasn’t often I came up against brick walls, but Pimlico was buried beneath them. I didn’t know her real name. I didn’t know the town she grew up in or any other details of her life. She’d poured her heart into her notes to No One but focused only on her time with Alrik. She never once mentioned a high school location or favourite club or activity. In fact, the only thing she did give a name to was Anne of Green Gables and her love of the show. I’d never seen it, but if it gave me clues…perhaps, I should?

  Fuck, I don’t have time for this.

  And who the hell cared? She was just a girl. A slave. What drew me to her so damn much?

  You know why. She reminds you of—

  I clutched my head, tugging on black hair to rid such stupid thoughts. I would find out who Pimlico was, and when I did, I’d figure out who was responsible for her capture and treatment. And if it turned out her mother was involved in her captivity, she would pay. Slowly. Painfully. I would make her feel every blow and kick Pimlico had endured.

  I couldn’t find redemption for myself. But perhaps, I could find it for Pim.

  But why?

  There was that fucking question again.

  Why do you care?

  Why bother when I intended to keep her in the same role she’d been groomed for so many years? It wasn’t as if I would free her. I couldn’t. She knew too much about me already. The longer she was mine, the more incriminating knowledge she would have.

  So once she’s fulfilled her purpose, you’ll trade her for something else that benefits you?

  Why chase down her family and find out the truth if I had no intention of returning her to the life she’d been abducted from?

  The answers danced on the back of my mind, elusive but teasing, letting me know I was more human than I wanted to admit. More in tune with broken things than I ever wanted to believe after what I’d done to my own family and the circumstances that followed.

  Falling from grace and trading a home for homelessness had shaped me from kind to heartless. Ever since then, I didn’t give a shit about anyone else. Why should I? I was the cause of contamination.

  Looking at my hands—the same hands that’d touched Pim and stolen her from her dead master—I snorted at how wealth had given me freedom but imprisoned my skills with more money than I could ever spend.

  What the fuck was I supposed to do with that?

  Where had the fun gone from stealing when I had everything I ever needed?

  Not everything.

  Growling under my breath, I shoved aside yet more traitorous thoughts.

  Maybe that was why I wanted Pimlico’s secrets. Because if she turned out to be as bad as me, if she harboured some awful confession that meant she deserved her fate…then that would grant me peace.

  Peace to stop butchering myself with guilt.

  Relief that even a girl in torment wasn’t innocent.

  Because if she wasn’t innocent, then it didn’t matter what I’d become.

  And I could forget the shame that I could never shake.

  CAWING OF SEABIRDS was my alarm clock, wrenching my gaze open to a scene I didn’t recognise.

  Where am I?

  Instantly, my heart buckled its running shoes and prepared to sprint, to hide. Where was the white? Where was the mansion where my blood was spilled daily? Where was Master—

  He’s gone.

  Dead.

  You’re Elder’s now.

  That knowledge scattered goosebumps over my arms, injecting me with adrenaline. Sitting up in the softest bed with the warmest blankets, I clutched the sheet to my naked chest as sunlight dappled the inviting space. Chocolate, cream, and lace were decadent reminders of who owned me now.

  The gentle swaying spoke of a warm body of water beneath me rather than a cold mountain of dirt.

  “Morning, miss.” A maid popped from the bathroom to my right, her arms full of the towels I’d used last night. I didn’t want her picking up my laundry. That was my task. Who was I to deserve to be waited on?

  She gave me a gentle smile, scooping up my discarded nightgown from the floor.

  The moment Elder left last night, I’d done what he’d suggested. I’d drawn a bath, and while the tub filled with lazy bubbles, I’d gazed out to sea, clutching my origami boat, wishing I could somehow turn it into a larger vessel and sail far, far away.

  The kind generosity in which Elder treated me with weighed on me more and more. The kiss we’d shared. The way he’d watched me. His tattoo. His temper.

  Every snippet of interaction layered me with fearful hesitation. I couldn’t stop worrying as I’d wriggled from the cotton nightgown. Up until now, I hadn’t attempted to shed the gown even though the itch to fling it far away grew more intolerable every hour. I didn’t because Dr. Michaels expected a woman who needed to cover up after her ordeal. To camouflage her scars and pretend it never happened.

  The opposite was true.

  Nakedness had been used as a weapon against me. To strip me bare; to teach me I had nothing of my own—no value but the skin I lived in. My body was the only thing I would ever call mine, but in that simplicity I found power. I never had to suffer ropes or chains made out of silk or velvet. Never had to suffocate in elastic or zippers.

  I was free.

  As the muggy air licked my skin and the warm bubbles of the bath crept up my legs as I gingerly lowered myself into it, I found some sense of normalcy after so much strangeness.

  I wished Elder had told me at lunch what he expected. Was it sex? Entertaining his friends? What would he make me do to pay back the delicious meals, vanilla-scented bed sheets, and pretty maids bustling around keeping my room—the room he’d given me—clean.

  “Breakfast is on the table.” The girl brushed aside a sable curl that’d stuck to her pink cheek. “Porridge with brown sugar, I believe.”

  I’d never had porridge in my life. The thought of opening my aching mouth and inserting food for my mangled tongue to push and swallow was too much.

  I was hungry but not hungry enough to activate more pain.

  Especially for porridge.

  However, the maid didn’t need to know that. I smiled. I didn’t nod as that would be overstepping my communication guidelines, but I ensured she understood I was grateful.

  She moved toward the door. “By the way, your wardrobe has a few sundresses and other nightgowns inside. Once we dock, I’m sure Mr. Prest will send one of his assistants to buy you more if you wish.”

  One of his assistants?

  How many does he have?

  My gaze travelled to the walk-in wardrobe that I hadn’t ventured into. I smiled again, knowing full well I wouldn’t wear any of the given items while I was alone in this suite. If I explored the ship like Elder said I could, then perhaps I would cover myself for the sake of his staff, but the moment I was alone…

  I might’ve killed Alrik, but he’d killed any reminder of the girl I’d been before I was his.

  Hoisting her armful of laundry, the girl grinned. “You’ll like living on the Phantom. It’s amazing to wake up every day to a new view, new ocean, new port.” Cocking her chin at the unenticing breakfast, she added, “He told me to warn you to e
at. The doctor, too. He sent some more painkillers; I put them in the drawer beside your bed.”

  My arms ached from clutching the sheet. The mention of a new view had impatience siphoning in my blood for the girl to leave. I wanted to look out the window and see.

  Silence fell; the maid coughed self-consciously. “Is there anything you need before I go?”

  A question.

  Those, I couldn’t answer.

  However, despite myself, my chin moved left and right ever so slightly.

  What the hell are you doing?

  Already the steely resolve to remain mute was fading. Was I truly so weak that a few hours of unmolested sleep and a kind face had me abandoning my crutches so fast?

  She beamed. “Okay, great. See you tomorrow morning!” She bustled out, leaving me in comforting silence and the freedom to kick off the covers and stride naked onto the balcony.

  After living in an air-conditioned mansion for so long, the muggy heat was an aphrodisiac on my skin. I wasn’t cold. I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t hurting from a fresh punch or kick.

  The sensation was far too foreign and earned yet another lick of terror for what I would have to do to deserve such luxury.

  Looping my fingers on the metal balustrade, I let the wind be my dress and the sun my shawl. The view of lolling swells and the occasional sequin of light glinting off the epic blueness granted my first unforced smile in years.

  Payment for this would be astronomical.

  But I might as well enjoy it before that day came.

  * * * * *

  Nine hours I was given.

  Nine hours where I relaxed in my room, dozed in the sun, wrote a quick note to No One before tossing it into the swiftly passing sea, and did my best to ignore the swollen tongue pounding inside my mouth.

  My other injuries took a backseat, barely noticeable after living so long with such agony. Even my broken hand didn’t bother me now it’d been properly strapped. I’d often wondered if I’d grown so used to pain that I would miss it. That if a time came when I had no black and blue contusions, I would no longer feel real.

  I couldn’t remember a time when agony didn’t hunker inside like a gremlin ready to attack. Would Elder let me experience such a phenomenon or was he merely curing me of Alrik’s misdeeds so he could inflict his own?

  The sun had set in a blaze of orange glory, setting fire to the ocean in a patchwork of golds and apricots just as a female staff member dressed in a smart navy dress entered my room.

  It didn’t escape my notice the door had no lock and the staff attending to me were all women. Was that for Elder’s benefit or mine? Her gaze landed on my naked breasts where I sat curled up on a chair three times the size of me looking out to sea.

  This suite was the epitome of luxury, yet there was no television, no laptop or key to the outside world.

  Just the view.

  And I was addicted to it. Obsessed with the moving scenery after being chained to a hilltop for so long.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry!” The woman turned sharply, averting her eyes.

  The long-forgotten urge to tell her not to worry—to be socially acceptable and put her at ease—made my lips part. My useless tongue spasmed, before remembering speech was not something it was used for these days.

  With her gaze locked on the carpet, I couldn’t catch her eye. Grabbing a cushion from behind me, I positioned it over my front and kept my legs tucked up tight in modesty. I patted the arm of the chair, signalling she could look.

  She did, slowly.

  Her gaze landed on the cushion as her eyebrow rose, but she didn’t say anything. If she wondered why I sat here naked, she didn’t ask.

  Moving forward, she held out a small envelope. “You’re summoned to dinner.”

  Our fingers grazed as I took it. I sucked in a sharp breath. Not because I was afraid of her, but because she was the first girl I’d touched since my mother. Tears dared to stab my eyes as I looked down and fought such idiotic hurts.

  Elder had given me his first commandment.

  I could curl into a ball and refuse to go. I could be the slave he thought I was and cower. Or I could remember how to stand straight, how to walk and talk and glower with confidence. I’d steal his secrets by watching his habits—learning him all the while he thought he was learning me.

  This is just another test. I will not fail.

  “Inside is a small map of the Phantom. He’s waiting for you on the main deck in the dining room.” She sucked on her bottom lip before blurting, “He didn’t mention a dress code, but can I suggest…at least, covering up a little?”

  I tore open the envelope and pulled out the laminated map of a super yacht. So this was Phantom. A boat big enough to house hundreds of people.

  “He said he expects you there in fifteen minutes.” The girl took a step back as I stood and tossed the cushion onto the chair. She gulped, keeping her eyes on mine, forcing her chin high to avoid my nakedness.

  If she wasn’t so nervous, I would’ve smiled.

  All this time, I’d been the scared one, the one holding her breath whenever Alrik walked into the room, the one cowering in submission when he decided I overstepped my bounds. Here, in Elder’s world, there was innocence still. Innocence enough to turn bare skin into an uncomfortable situation for his well-trained staff.

  Power that I’d done my best to cling to sprang to life.

  Beneath my bruises and memories, I was still Tasmin. Still a girl who wanted to go home and hug her mother. Yet as I strode to the walk-in wardrobe and selected a black shift that tumbled over my head in a whisper of finery, I feared I teetered on a very unstable edge.

  My vulnerability was twisting, changing. After two years of being someone else’s toy, the same evil I’d been hurt with had infected me. I was no longer soft or hopeful but hard and cynical.

  If Elder wanted me, I couldn’t do anything to stop him. I just didn’t know if I would be able to remain the girl I’d been or if I’d evolve into a complete stranger when he did.

  “I’M IMPRESSED. YOU found me.” Elder cocked his head, holding a small glass of clear liquid. If I hadn’t watched him at Alrik’s and noticed he refused every drop of liquor, I might’ve thought it was vodka. Armed with the tiny piece I already knew of him, I suspected it was just water.

  His black eyes slid over me with a lethal calm. “I see I’ll have to order dresses a few sizes smaller.”

  I didn’t stroke the black cotton encasing my body like a normal girl being inspected might. I’d had that stupidity beaten out of me. I stood military still, accepting his assessment. I didn’t let him know that I liked how big it was, how loose and floaty. The black straps barely clung to my shoulders as if apologetic to touch me while the size allowed air to provide a buffer between my skin and the material.

  “You can come closer, you know.” Elder placed his glass on the wooden table.

  My fingers fluttered over the small map of his home. I’d taken a few wrong turns down luxurious corridors and peeked into opulent drawing rooms and suites, but I’d made it in time.

  Taking a small step toward him, I glanced at the decadent spread of fresh grapes, watermelon slices, and crisp green apples on a platter in the centre. Everything about this was the opposite of my previous world.

  Walking had been tiring due to my healing body, but I wasn’t riddled with pain. The carpet beneath my toes was thick and springy, keeping me warm rather than padding on cool marble tiles. If I were made to kneel in this place, at least my bones wouldn’t splinter when the order came.

  He stood as I neared the table. I didn’t look away as he reached forward and plucked the map from my grip. My heart hissed like an adder as I tracked his large palm, hating that I tensed for a hit and was almost confused when it didn’t come. He just placed the map on the table and pulled out a chair for me.

  I didn’t trust him.

  I didn’t trust his calmness because I tasted the things he kept hidden. I remained stiff as I slipped i
nto the offered seat, resting my hands on my lap.

  Wordlessly, Elder moved back to his chair at the head of the table. He’d positioned me next to him. The rest of the long table was merely a runway for food, not offering any space between us.

  Catching my gaze, he frowned.

  What was this? A game before the true fun began?

  A door slid open from behind me as two staff members entered and placed a bowl of green soup in front of us. Nodding respectfully, the head waiter said, “Tonight, your entrée is cold pea and cucumber soup with saffron butter. Please, enjoy.”

  Bowing, the staff retreated, leaving Elder and me to stare silently at each other.

  Neither of us reached for a spoon, not prepared to be the one who looked away first. Slowly, Elder reached for his glass, raising the glittering crystal to take a sip. His powerful neck rippled as he swallowed then cocked his head, studying me harder.

  “Something’s different about you.”

  I stilled.

  Was I not permitted to change?

  I didn’t even understand what had changed. I just felt…off. Not myself. If I couldn’t describe it, how could Elder already see it?

  Depositing his glass, he rubbed his jaw. The five o’clock shadow was darker, as if he hadn’t shaved since the day we met over a week ago. “Are you okay? Minus the injuries and your tongue, of course?”

  I picked up my spoon.

  “I don’t understand it…” He trailed off, copying me as he pinched the delicate silver utensil. “But when you look at me, something’s disappeared.”

  Disappeared?

  Was that what’d happened? Had my dependency on being abused been deleted? Had my fear vanished?

  No, the fear’s still there.

  I checked inside for the remnants of the girl who’d been a pet, a possession. I still struggled, but Elder made me brave enough to look at him rather than avoid him.

  The fact he let me get away with it encouraged me to be bolder, brazen. Was that what was happening? Had I finally had enough of merely existing and begun the process to claim myself again?

  A headache looped around my temples, squeezing with heavy questions.