Chamberlain's Folly (The Terra Nova Chronicles)

by Robert Dean Hall

  Teacher didn’t know whether to be happy or concerned. He was thrilled to see that Morning Grass had a complete change of heart about the Earth humans, and she was finally alright with his decision to join up with the CEF. He just wasn’t sure he wanted her to join up as well. But, for him not to expect her to follow him into the CEF if she truly respected his decision was ludicrous.

  He looked at her. She was staring back at him with eyes that seemed to be searching for approval. It took Teacher by surprise because Morning Grass had never before seemed to need his approval for anything. She had always done what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it, consequences be damned.

  Teacher was at a loss for words.

  “What is it, Teacher,” Morning Grass asked. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “You don’t need my permission,” Teacher finally said. “You are your own person. You can do what you want.”

  “Not exactly the answer I was hoping for,” Morning Grass replied. “But, I must admit, it isn’t an altogether unexpected one.”

  She pulled away from Teacher and sat down.

  “We are a couple,” she said. “Doesn’t that require us to discuss decisions that affect the both of us?”

  “It is considerate behavior,” Teacher replied. “But…”

  “But what,” Morning Grass asked.

  Teacher waited for the expected outburst, but it never came.

  It was disconcerting, because Teacher knew how to deal with the outbursts. He just left in frustration after a few moments of intense arguing. He would now have to sit with Morning Grass and discuss her decision rationally. It was uncharted territory for the pair of felines. Teacher didn’t know why, but he found navigating those unknown waters quite frightening.

  “I’m sorry, Morning Grass,” he replied. “I should have thanked you for considering my feelings in making your decision.”

  “I felt I owed it to you,” she replied. “You took my feelings into account when you were making your decision to join.”

  She motioned for Teacher to sit. He looked uncomfortable standing in front of her.

  “I sense you don’t think it is a good idea for me to join, though,” she said.

  Teacher looked inside himself. He was deeply troubled with her decision, but he wasn’t sure why. She was as good a soldier as he was. She would regain full use of her arm and leg if she stuck with her physical therapy. He was just happier knowing she was not in harm’s way.

  “Is it in any way upsetting to you to know I don’t feel comfortable with the thought of you being in a dangerous occupation,” he asked.

  Morning Grass smiled and turned away. She felt a giggle coming on and didn’t want Teacher to see her laughing. He was sternly staring at her when she turned again to face him. She saw his frown, but still had trouble keeping a huge grin from her face.

  “I’m sorry, Teacher,” she said. “I’m not making light of you or your concerns. I just find your over-protective attitude toward me extremely sweet.”

  “You never used to,” Teacher replied. “My protective feelings for you used to make you mad as Hell.”

  He was still looking at her sternly. He was used to feeling like the only adult in their relationship. Morning Grass’ newfound calm and mature attitude was stealing his thunder in that respect.

  “You used to think I was being unreasonable,” he fumed.

  It embarrassed him when he realized that Morning Grass’ refusal to become emotional about the situation was making him angry.

  “I still do,” she said. “But, I understand why you feel that way.”

  Teacher again was left to examine his feelings.

  “You mean everything to me,” he told Morning Grass. “I don’t know if I could perform to my fullest during a mission knowing you may be in a situation where you could be hurt or worse.”

  “How is that any different than what I would feel if I knew you might be in imminent danger,” Morning Grass asked. “Don’t you think I would fall victim to the same worries? Are you telling me that somehow it is your prerogative or even your responsibility to risk your life to earn our family’s keep, but not mine? We are both trained soldiers who should be able to put those feelings aside when required.”

  She stood again, went to Teacher’s chair, climbed in and straddled his lap. Teacher didn’t surrender an invitation or assist her in her climb. He didn’t look at her directly. She placed her hands on his shoulders and asked him to look at her. She smiled at him. She found his surly reaction to her announcement strangely arousing, and his pouting and resistance to her advances added to her excitement.

  “I have no other training,” she said as she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, and nestled further down into his lap. “I must feel I am contributing to this relationship. I just can’t remain idle and allow you to put yourself in harm’s way in order to provide for my wellbeing without doing anything useful.”

  “What if I told you I believe you would be contributing a great deal to our relationship by staying at home and not giving me anything to worry about,” Teacher asked.

  Morning Grass rolled her eyes.

  “I would have to tell you again you are being unreasonable,” she said. Her voice was disapproving, but not overly angry. She kissed his forehead once more and tried to help him see her point of view.

  “If I told you I was afraid I might never see you again when you left to go on a mission, you would tell me that those feelings go along with being mated to a soldier,” she said. “You would also tell me you were going to be careful and do everything you could to return to me safely. But, you would still go.”

  Teacher closed his eyes. Morning Grass was correct, but knowing that in his heart didn’t change the way he felt.

  “I can’t stay home and rear children while you run off to do battle,” Morning Grass explained. “That option has been taken from me. I still wonder if I made the right decision…”

  Her words struck Teacher at his core.

  “Of course you made the right decision,” he responded quickly. “I don’t need you to give me offspring for me to be happy with you. I am much happier seeing you whole again.”

  Teacher grabbed Morning Grass by the hips and gently encouraged her to stand. He arose from the chair with her.

  “All I have ever wanted since I first laid eyes upon you, was for you to be happy,” he said, his gaze reinforcing the earnestness of his words.

  Morning Grass looked back at him. She braced herself for what would come next. She had a terrible feeling it might be some brutal truth she couldn’t bear.

  “It has always seemed to me, though, you have never really been happy,” Teacher continued. He pulled her closer and reached up to pull her head down upon his shoulder. “And, I was afraid that you were never going to be happy.”

  “I am always happy when I am with you,” Morning Grass said.

  “But you have never been… content,” Teacher said. “I think content is a better term.”

  Morning Grass shuddered. She hated to hear Teacher talking like this.

  “What about you, Teacher,” she asked. “Are you content?”

  “I’m never happier, or more content, than when I see you smile,” he told her. “Even during the times when you seldom smile, I’m still content to be with you.”

  “I don’t know if I believe that,” Morning Grass said. “I can remember many times when I was certain you wished you were anywhere else but with me. I haven’t always been the most pleasant of companions and I haven’t made many friends in this life. I imagine you probably have only stayed close to me out of pity.” She started to sob. “I promise you, though; things are much different, now. I’m different, now.”

  “No,” Teacher told her. “You aren’t different. You are the same person I have loved, desired and needed all this time.”

  “What do you mean,” she asked him. “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m not sure I understand fully myself,” he responded. �
��But what I think I mean is this. If you feel you must change anything about yourself for me to love you, or you think it will be somehow easier for me to love you now than it was before, you are wrong.”

  “My feelings for you are complicated, but they are what they are,” he told her. “You could be in any mental or physical state and I would love you the same. I could never love you any deeper or more completely than I have from the first day I set eyes on you.”

  Teacher positioned her so he could look into her eyes again.

  “If there is any thought going through your mind that you need to change yourself, bear me children, or produce a long list of your accomplishments for me to love and respect you, put it out of your head,” he demanded. “I also want you to know that whether you join the CEF or spend your days idly sitting around our dwelling, doing nothing but eating chocolates and reading those silly human romance novels you’ve become addicted to, I will still love you.”

  Morning Grass smiled at the humorous vision Teacher’s words planted in her mind.

  “What you do or how you act will never change the way I feel for you,” Teacher said. “My love for you is not conditional. It doesn’t come and go with a change in the weather. It is an integral part of my being. It is always there. It has become a large part of what I am.”

  He softened his tone and apologized for allowing himself to get carried away.

  “I don’t know what I would do if anything ever happened to take you from me, Morning Grass,” he said. “But, I can’t think of a good reason for you not to join the CEF.” “If you do join,” he requested. “Please don’t do it because you think it will somehow make me love or respect you more.”

  Teacher kissed Morning Grass passionately.

  “I love and respect you more deeply than I can express in words alone,” he told her. “I agonize over your wellbeing constantly. If you were ever hurt doing something because you thought you needed to do it in order for me to be happy with you, I could never forgive myself. My happiness depends upon my knowing you are always there and you are safe. It’s what keeps me going.”

  Part V - Conspiracies Abound

  Chapter 25

  7-October-2409

  “Did I ever tell you how I came to work for the Bureau, Herb,” Pedersen asked. “I’m sure you must have wondered why they even hired me, much less why they thought it was a good idea to put me in charge of Human Studies.”

  Zheng resisted the urge to agree too vehemently with Pedersen. He didn’t want to offend his guest, even if he couldn’t say he liked him all that much at the moment.

  “It wasn’t because I was qualified,” Pedersen stated. He knew that Zheng was fighting to keep his tongue and even though he would eventually find the Historian’s dilemma funny, at that particular moment it wasn’t. “In fact,” he continued. “History was never one of my better subjects in school. I’d have never passed history at the Academy without your help, Herb.”

  “If this is finally a thank you, Len, you’re welcome,” Zheng said.

  Pedersen acknowledged the gesture with a look of unreserved gratitude.

  “About the end of my final tour, I was in my cabin after pulling overnight watch on the bridge,” Pedersen explained. “I was about to shave and head back out for breakfast when the mail clerk started banging on the door.”

  “There was a scrambled message that came for me with an order not to decrypt and replay anywhere else but the ‘spook room’. I asked why the radio shack was sending someone to my cabin and not phoning the bridge. The clerk told me the message was for me personally and I needed to get up there immediately because the message had an hour fuse and it had taken almost fifteen minutes for the clerk to clear the logs and walk the delivery slip to me in person.”

  Zheng studied Pedersen as he spoke. He could see that Pedersen was at the point of exhaustion. Travel from Chicago, where the Human Studies branch of the Bureau was located, to the digs would have taken a minimum of ten hours in a Gen Three admiral’s bark.

  To collect Mahzarhi and then travel to the Academy from the digs non-stop meant at least another thirty hours in the shuttle. If Pedersen had to take Mahzarhi back to the digs before heading home, he wouldn’t be sleeping in his own bed for at least another two nights.

  Zheng didn’t envy Pedersen that trip at all, even though he knew that with a Gen Two ship, covering the same distances would take almost a month.

  “I headed up there right away and signed for the card,” Pedersen said. “I keyed myself into the secure communications closet and sat at the panel. I assumed we were getting orders to divert because we were in silicoid space and even though all messages with tactical data were scrambled, hiding the transmission in a private message might be an added security measure.”

  “I put the card in the slot and identified myself. The response was from an officer whose name and rank I can’t divulge. He informed me that the minute the ship docked for resupply, I was to debark and head for the nearest Fleet Intelligence field office. He then told me to insert my badge so my orders could be written to it.”

  “So you’re telling me you’ve been with Fleet Intelligence since you were still on active duty,” Zheng asked.

  “In a manner of speaking,” Pedersen replied. “I kept the appointment to meet with the field operative when we docked. She asked me a few questions, took some notes and said they would contact me later. That was about a year before I went from active to reserve status.”

  “Whatever, Len,” Zheng said, “You were going to tell me how you got your job with the Bureau.”

  “About halfway through my second year in the reserves, I was approached again,” Pedersen replied. “I had just landed on deck of a training ship to orient some cadets when an admiral showed up on the bridge and pulled me off. He took me halfway across the system to a really big carrier. Again, I can’t mention any names.”

  Zheng nodded that he understood.

  “He asked me how I felt about taking a permanent assignment on Earth,” Pedersen said. “He told me the assignment would be tedious most of the time, but it was one of the most important assignments he had ever given.”

  “I asked him why he had chosen to approach me with this assignment. I made no bones about the fact I was ready to leave the Fleet and literally do nothing except collect my pension and chase Edy around the house. He told me my assessment indicated before long I’d be bored with that type of life. He would even be happy to wait on me until I got bored. He thanked me for my time and trundled me back to my cadets.”

  “I’m guessing that his prediction came true and you contacted him,” Zheng asked. “I know you didn’t get to chase your wife around the house for long.”

  “Tell me about it,” Pedersen said. “Six months after I fulfilled my reserve duties, Gabi was born and Edy moved to Rollo’s house because Gabi’s mom was always sick and the pregnancy had taken a lot out of her. I had a lot more free time than I wanted.”

  “Then one Friday I was planning to head for Rollo’s to see Gabi and maybe spend some time with Edy, when I got a call. A voice on the other end told me to be at the foot of my driveway with the clothes I had packed for my trip in twenty minutes. It scared the bejeezus out of me, but I knew if it was FI, I’d be better off meeting with them and giving them a definite refusal.”

  “Obviously you didn’t,” Zheng said.

  “No, I didn’t,” Pedersen replied. “I walked out front and an unmarked car with three men in Fleet uniforms met me. One asked for the keys to my car and told me to get in the back of his. It was at that point I decided FI wanted me and it might be to my advantage to listen. Once in the back of the vehicle, I was handed a locator and a briefcase. It was this briefcase, actually.”

  Pedersen lifted his case and set it on the back of a chair. He opened the case and pulled out the security bag. He handed it to Zheng and asked him not to open it until they parted.

  “The locator beeped and I answered,” Pedersen continued. “Somebody on
the other end, whose identity I still don’t know, told me Intelligence really didn’t want much from me. He said in the near future I would be offered a job out of the blue and I should accept the post without hesitation. He didn’t tell me who it was with, but he did tell me it would be in Chicago, close to the Fleet Headquarters.”

  “I asked who I’d be reporting to and he said it would be no one in particular. I was given a hyper-mail address to send weekly reports to and that was it.”

  “Did they ever tell you why they chose you in particular,” Zheng asked him.

  “No. But, I assumed after a while it was because I was familiar with you,” Pedersen answered.

  Zheng agreed. After the way things had played out since Pedersen was put in charge of Human Studies, that was the most likely reason.

  “I think they also wanted someone in the Bureau that wasn’t in Cozeremi’s pocket, or those of his friends in the Central Government,” Pedersen added. “Most people under the Bureau’s employ at the time were political appointees with pretty much the same views and the same friends. I didn’t know the guy and didn’t owe him anything.”

  “I started off owing FI my allegiance, because I felt I was actually working for them, not the Bureau. I had thought they might even move me somewhere else, but that never happened. I never got any feedback whatsoever from FI for the first five years I was there, so I started to take my duties with the Bureau much more seriously. Then one day at lunch, I had a visitor.”

  “Who was it,” Zheng asked.

  “I can’t tell you, because this person is also a Fleet Intelligence operative planted covertly in another place in the Central Government,” Pedersen said. “I was told that FI was happy with the quality of reports they were getting from me. They were also pleased, but not surprised, that I seemed to be able to naturally discern what information was pertinent to their cause and I never passed along fluff.”

  “I was also told I might notice some things would be happening out of the ordinary and I should neither take them personally nor make too much noise about them. That was about the time the third edition of your text came up for review.”