“Not when we’re walking through the woods in the dark,” I argued. “You could trip and shoot someone ... or yourself.”
“We’re more worried about you shooting someone else,” Thistle interjected, her eyes landing on Landon. “What’s he doing here?”
“It’s always a pleasure to spend time with you, too, Thistle,” Landon drawled. “The warmth with which you regard me is so profound it causes my soul to want to sing.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “That was a little over the top.”
“I heard it as I was saying it,” Landon acknowledged. “It was already too late to take it back.”
As a Winchester, I understood that Foot In Mouth Disease was real, so I let it go. “Aunt Tillie, you can’t take that gun.”
Aunt Tillie huffed out an annoyed sound that was halfway between a furious cat growl and a rabid dog bark. “You’re not the boss of me.”
“No, but I have an FBI agent with me.” I gestured toward Landon. “He can legally seize that gun.”
“Actually, I can’t do that,” Landon countered, causing my insides to squirm. “Trust me, I’ve checked. She has that gun registered, and as long as she isn’t taking off into the woods with the express purpose of hunting out of season or threatening someone, there’s absolutely nothing I can do.”
That was so not what I wanted to hear. “Whose side are you on?”
“I’m always on your side. That doesn’t mean I can take that gun from her. Besides, you warned me before I left that I couldn’t be Mr. FBI. You said I had to play by your rules. I’m here ... and I’m going to play by your rules.”
“Oh, that should be a television show,” Thistle teased. “Mr. FBI, where witches do all the heavy lifting and ‘The Man’ does absolutely nothing.”
I glared holes into the side of her head. “Excuse me?”
“I like the sound of that.” Aunt Tillie rested the butt of her gun on the ground and leaned against it. “As for Bessie here, she’s coming with me. We have no idea what’s in that barn. We might need to kill it.”
Landon cocked his head. “Bessie? Since when did you name your gun?”
“She’s always been Bessie.”
“Not really,” Thistle countered, shifting gears. “When we were kids you told us the gun’s name was Aphrodite because we could kiss our rear ends goodbye if we didn’t obey you.”
Aunt Tillie snickered. “I forgot I told you that. You guys would believe anything.”
“Ha, ha.” I rolled my eyes. “You can’t take the gun.” I was adamant. “Something could happen. What if you accidentally kill one of the agents in Potter’s Field because you’re surprised?”
“Huh.” Landon shifted from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable. “I didn’t think about that. Maybe you should leave Bessie behind.”
“No way.” Aunt Tillie refused to back down. “Bessie is going. We’re a team ... just like you and Bay are a team.”
“I think there’s a difference,” Landon argued as the beams of Clove’s headlights bounced against his face as she parked next to the Explorer. “I can’t use Bay to accidentally kill someone in the woods.”
“That’s not true.” Aunt Tillie refused to back down. “Bay is a stronger weapon than Bessie. You simply don’t know how to load her correctly.”
Landon slowly slid his eyes to me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shrugged. “No idea. Sometimes I think she talks simply to hear herself talk.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Clove asked, appearing in front of her car. She looked nervous, as if this was the last place she wanted to be. “By the way, if I get eaten by an alien tonight I’ll never forgive you guys.”
“That seems fair,” I said pragmatically.
“You’re not going to be eaten by an alien.” Aunt Tillie’s tone was withering as she held up her gun. “I brought Bessie. She’ll protect us. Have you learned nothing from all the movies I made you watch as kids? We’ll be fine.”
Clove wrinkled her forehead. “Bessie? I thought you named the gun Medusa because she was so ugly and terrible all your enemies turned to stone when you brandished her.”
“Oh, geez.” Aunt Tillie cursed under her breath. “You guys never forget anything. You’re like elephants.”
“We should get going,” Landon interjected. “It’s going to take a while to make it through the woods tonight. It’s dark and we can’t use flashlights. We should leave now.”
“I have the flashlight problem taken care of,” Aunt Tillie supplied, resting her shotgun against her shoulder as she marched toward the water. “Everything is under control. Trust me.”
Landon flicked his eyes to me as he linked his fingers with mine. “I’m starting to think this was a terrible idea.”
“You wanted to be part of the team,” I reminded him.
“Our team.” He gestured between the two of us. “You’re my team.”
“Yes, well, I come with ... auxiliary team members. I can’t help it.”
“We should’ve left Aunt Tillie behind.” Landon sounded bitter. “If she shoots someone, we’re going to be in real trouble.”
“We might need her,” I reminded him. “If there is an alien in that barn and it attacks, Aunt Tillie might be the only one who can stop it.”
“Because of Bessie?”
“Because she’s powerful.”
Landon cocked an eyebrow. “You’re powerful, too. That’s why she made that crack about you being the most powerful weapon at my disposal.”
I was uncomfortable with his scrutiny. “I don’t want to be a weapon.”
“I get that.” Landon tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re more than the sum of your parts. Remember that.”
It was hard to forget. “Let’s get moving. E.T. might be waiting.”
“Or the predator,” Aunt Tillie interjected, moving ahead of me to cross Hollow Creek first.
“Right. How could I forget about the predator?”
“I have no idea. You’re embarrassing at the oddest of times.”
THE WALK TO HANK’S HOUSE was difficult. Aunt Tillie conjured sentries of sorts, lighted spheres that illuminated the way through the forest. They were smaller than normal because we couldn’t risk being seen. They looked like firefly swarms, which was disconcerting if you weren’t a big fan of bugs.
“I knew this was a terrible idea.” Clove swatted at a sentry buzzing close to her face. “I don’t know why I let you guys talk me into these things. I hate it when you dream up adventures like this. I’m not the adventurous sort.”
“How could you grow up in your family and not be adventurous?” Landon challenged. He kept close to my side, his eyes keen on the ground, but otherwise seemed calm. If I had to guess, the simple act of being proactive lessened some of the weight dragging him down. “I would think your childhood was nothing but an adventure.”
“That’s not a good thing,” Clove shot back. “Adventures are stupid. I always wanted to play princess ... or Barbie dolls ... or even dress-up. Thistle and Bay never wanted that.”
“That’s not true,” Thistle argued. “I liked playing dress-up.”
“You always wanted to dress up like a monster ... or pretend to be Jason from the Friday the 13th movies.”
“And that wasn’t fun for you?” Thistle mocked surprise. “I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you!”
Landon grinned as he squeezed my hand. “What did you like to dress up like, Bay?”
I shrugged, noncommittal. “I don’t know. I don’t really remember.”
“She dressed up like Princess Leia,” Thistle automatically answered. “Oh, and Captain Kirk. She was always a science fiction fan. That drove Clove crazy because she only identified with the princesses who needed a prince to run to the rescue.”
“That is a lie!” Clove was incensed. “I don’t need to be rescued.”
“Then stop your bellyaching,” Aunt Tillie barked. “I don’t see why you guys have to be such kve
tches. We’re chasing aliens, for crying out loud. You can’t whine when you’re chasing aliens. Ripley would be so disappointed.”
“Ripley?” Landon didn’t bother to hide his amusement. “I take it that you think we’re going to be fighting the sort of aliens who have acid for blood.”
“I didn’t say that.” Aunt Tillie shook her free hand and dropped something on the ground. I narrowed my eyes and slowed my pace. The only reason I noticed what she was doing was because the sentries illuminated her frame at the right time.
“What was that?”
Aunt Tillie glanced from side to side. “What was what?”
“That.” I pointed toward the spot where she’d dropped what she’d held in her hand. “You’re throwing something on the ground as we walk.”
Aunt Tillie drew herself up taller — which wasn’t easy because she didn’t clear five feet — and puffed out her chest. “I most certainly did not. You know how I feel about littering.”
“I do, which is why I’m suspicious.” I released Landon’s hand and moved to where I saw her drop her load, squinting as I tried to make out what she’d dropped. Finally, I had no choice but to dig in my pocket for my cell phone. I held it up so I could use the screen as a flashlight and frowned as I knelt.
“What is it?” Landon appeared at my back and leaned over my shoulder. “What is that? I can’t quite make it out.”
I lifted one of the items in question and frowned. “It’s a piece of candy.”
“Reese’s Pieces, right?” Thistle was amused. “I thought we were facing off with the predator, not E.T.”
Aunt Tillie didn’t look happy about being caught. “I didn’t say it would be the predator, simply that we should prepare ourselves that it might be the predator. By the way, if we’re assuming movie roles, I’m Arnold Schwarzenegger. I call dibs.”
“Fine, then I’m the chick who never fires a gun and survives,” I shot back. “Seriously, why are you dropping Reese’s Pieces as we walk?”
Even though it was dark, the sentries made it impossible for Aunt Tillie to hide the flush creeping up her neck. “Maybe I simply have holes in my pockets. Did you ever consider that? My clothes are old.”
“I happen to know those pants are new,” Thistle argued. “I saw Mom and Marnie ordering them after the leggings debacle. They wanted to make sure that the dragons went extinct again.”
Aunt Tillie rolled her eyes. “Oh, geez. I can’t believe I’m related to such prudes.”
“And I can’t believe you’re being so obvious.” I dusted off my hands as I stood. “You’re dropping the candy just in case E.T. is real, aren’t you?”
“Of course not.”
I waited.
“Fine.” Aunt Tillie’s eyes fired, promising retribution later. “I want to cover my bases. Sue me. If the alien is nice, I want to get a collar for him and train him as a pet.”
“That sounds healthy,” Landon muttered. “Seven witches and an alien. That sounds like a bad television show.”
“Don’t forget the crabby FBI agent who lives with them,” I supplied sunnily.
Landon’s lips curved up. “He’s my favorite character.”
“Mine, too.”
“Okay, second favorite.” He slung an arm around my shoulders and tugged me close to him. “The fifth witch is probably my favorite. She has a certain pizazz.”
I was embarrassed to admit it — even to myself — but my insides went a little gooey. “She does have pizazz.”
“Ugh. I’m totally going to vomit.” Aunt Tillie made a face. “Can we get back to important things?”
“You mean the fact that you’re trying to entice an alien to be your pet isn’t important?” Thistle drawled. “I have trouble believing that.”
“Keep it up, mouth,” Aunt Tillie warned. “You’ve been off my list for a week. That can change.”
“You said I was on your list a few days ago,” Thistle countered. “Did you forget?”
Aunt Tillie was scandalized. “I would never forget something like that. You’re simply low on the list because of all the FBI buttheads. There are a lot of them, so they take up pages of the list.”
“Good to know.” Thistle’s eyes were keen as she scanned the thickening trees to our left. She held up one hand to still us. “We’re here.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
Everyone snapped to attention at her words, conversation ceasing.
Landon leaned so close his lips brushed the ridge of my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “Where?”
I pointed through the trees. “The barn is right there. Can you see the gleam on the door handle?”
Landon stared a long beat. “Yeah. That’s where you think the alien is?”
“I didn’t say it was an alien.” He was trying my patience. “I merely said he was hiding something in his barn and it was suspect given the timing of the crash in the field.”
“The flying saucer crash.”
“Oh, don’t turn condescending.” My earlier adoration evaporated. “If you’re going to be a pain, you can turn around right now and head back. I don’t need this.”
Landon held up his hands. “I’m sorry. I was simply trying to lighten the mood. It won’t happen again.”
Aunt Tillie tossed a handful of Reese’s Pieces in Landon’s direction, several pieces bouncing off his head as he glowered. “Shh. I’m in charge now.”
“What makes you think you’re in charge?” Thistle challenged.
“I’m the oldest.”
“And I’m the smartest,” Thistle fired back.
“And I’m the one with the training,” Landon argued. “I’m going to head over there first. I want all of you to wait in the trees until I give you the all clear. Then you can approach.”
I balked. “I didn’t agree to that. You said you weren’t going to turn into Mr. FBI.”
“How is that turning into Mr. FBI? I’m simply trying to keep the people I love safe. You should be applauding me instead of attacking.”
“Oh, listen to Mr. Condescending,” Aunt Tillie trilled. “I can’t believe you brought him, Bay. Have I taught you nothing?”
“Guys.” Clove’s voice was insistent as she stared at a spot over her shoulder. “Guys, you need to stop fighting.”
“If we stop fighting, we’ll have absolutely nothing to talk about,” Thistle said. “That’s going to make the walk back home really boring.”
“Shut up,” Clove hissed, her eyes flashing. “I ... you ... we ... .”
Right away, I realized something was wrong. “What is it?”
“Someone is over there.” Clove extended a shaking finger. “I think it’s a person ... or maybe an alien.” Her lower lip trembled as she met my gaze. “We’re not alone.”
Alien Inspiration
I wish Men In Black was real. I don’t really care about the aliens, but I would love one of those big guns. Can you imagine the terror I could elicit from my enemies with that gun? Of course, I’m me. I don’t need the gun to terrify people.
Aunt Tillie on science fiction weaponry
Seventeen
You’ll believe a witch can fly!
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as the sound of footsteps assailed my ears.
Landon reacted quickly, grabbing my arm and jerking me behind him so he could stand as a shield.
I didn’t believe it was an alien, not from that direction. The other option simply made more sense. It seemed Agent Gibson’s men had finally caught up with us. I pictured myself being locked in a tiny cell with no windows, being cut off from those I loved as the government locked me away for the rest of my life. Being separated from Aunt Tillie, my mother and aunts wasn’t so terrible. I would miss Landon, Thistle and Clove, though.
That was not how I wanted to go down, but I was frozen in fear and couldn’t make my legs work.
Then I heard voices ... and not the voices I’d expected.
“Watch where you’re going, Jace. You almost tripped me.”
“I didn’t almost trip you.”
“You did so. We’re supposed to be professionals. You’re not acting like a professional.”
The oxygen trapped in my lungs escaped in a low hiss as I relaxed. At the same moment, Ryan, Morgan and Jace stumbled into the small clearing where I stood, making for a less-than-graceful entrance. Their eyes all went wide when they realized they weren’t alone.
“Who goes there?” Ryan barked.
Landon rolled his eyes as he relaxed. “Oh, geez. Let me guess. These are the alien hunters you were hanging around with this afternoon.?”
I bobbed my head. “Yup.”
“Who are you?” Jace’s eyes narrowed when he saw Landon’s arm around my waist. “Are you an alien?”
Landon’s irritation was on full display. “Why would you think I’m an alien?”
“Because chicks can’t stay away from aliens. Haven’t you seen Thor ... and Roswell ... and Starman ... oh, and Superman? He’s the biggest alien of all. Women love aliens.”
I scratched my head. “Um ... .”
“I’m with the FBI,” Landon challenged. “I’m not an alien.”
“You’re not exactly making your case there, Skippy,” Aunt Tillie interjected when the three younger men shrank back. “I’m sure aliens are better than Feds as far as they’re concerned.”
“We have a right to be here.” Ryan squared his shoulders as he held Landon’s gaze. “We’ve broken no laws and we know our rights. If you try to take us into custody we’ll ... well, we know our rights.”
“He’s not going to take you into custody.” I was almost positive that was true. “Don’t get all weird and stuff. That’s the last thing we need.”
Jace found his voice. “If he’s not here to take us into custody, why is he here?”
“He’s Bay’s boyfriend.” Thistle was smug as she delivered the news. “They live together. He decided to tag along for tonight’s excursion to make sure we were safe.”
Jace didn’t hide the fact that he was crestfallen very well. “You have a boyfriend? I ... why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”
Close Encounters of the Witchy Kind (A Wicked Witches of the Midwest Fantasy Book 6) Page 16