Thrill Me

by Susan Mallery

  “Welcome home.”

  He looked up at her, then rose and walked toward her. “Maya,” he said, before pulling her into a bear hug.

  She went willingly, gratefully. Zane was a rock. Sometimes he was an annoying rock, but he was steadfast and dependable. Something she hadn’t appreciated enough when she was sixteen and sure his only goal in life was to make sure she and Chase were unhappy.

  “Hey, you,” she said as she stepped back. “How was your honeymoon? And as I ask, remember you’re my brother. Don’t gross me out with too many details.”

  “It was great.” He motioned for her to take a seat. “I’m sure Phoebe will give you the particulars.”

  “Too many of them,” she grumbled, but without much energy. “I keep having to remind her that hearing her gush about you isn’t the same as when she talked about other guys. There’s an ick factor.”

  “If she wants to talk, let her talk.”

  “Oh, sure. Take her side.”

  “I can’t help it.”

  Zane settled back in his chair. He was relaxed in a way she’d never seen before. Love, she thought, trying not to be bitter that the woman he’d fallen for had loved him back. No such luck for Maya. While she was pretty sure Del wouldn’t say no to having her in his bed, he didn’t seem to have any sense of urgency in the “I want more” department. Not that she’d shared her feelings, either, but that wasn’t the point.

  “What’s happening with you?” he asked.

  She started to tell him about the commercial, but instead found herself saying, “Did you know that Phoebe was missing her mom at the wedding?”

  “She told me. She missed having her around, asking for her advice.” His tone gentled. “Not all mothers are bad, Maya.”

  “I know. I’m friends with Elaine and she’s got five kids. Some mothers are great.”

  “Most are. You got a bad one. I’m sorry. I wish I could go back in time and make it better.”

  “If you could, you should probably use your power for something more significant than my past. You could stop a war or save someone’s life.”

  “You’re worth saving. She was wrong about you.” His gaze was steady. “You know that, right? That every day you’re proving her wrong?”

  Because Zane had heard the fights. The angry accusations of how Maya had ruined her mother’s life. Whatever had gone wrong, Maya had been to blame.

  “What brought this on?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about my past. The scholarship. Not knowing who helped me is kind of a drag.”

  “If that person wanted you to know, he or she would tell you.”

  “Logic. You know I hate that.”

  “You and Phoebe both. Not that I’m surprised. You’re alike in other ways.”

  Maya straightened. “What are you talking about? Phoebe and I are nothing alike.” Her friend was sweet and giving. Maya was career obsessed and sometimes pretty bitchy. “I’m difficult and stubborn. Phoebe’s great.”

  “You are, too. You both lead with your heart. Look how you were always worried about Chase.”

  “Yeah, but I was mean to you.”

  “You had something to tell me. I should have listened.”

  “This is just plain creepy.”

  He chuckled. “I’m simply pointing out there’s a reason the two of you are friends. You have a lot in common. It’s part of why I love you both.” He winked. “In very different ways.”

  “Thank you for clearing that up. Because otherwise, ick.”

  Zane didn’t smile. “You understand that I love you.”

  “Yes. You’ve said it. Why are you repeating it?”

  “Because I’m not sure you see yourself as lovable.”

  Maya felt her mouth drop open. Were her flaws so obvious that everyone saw them? And if they were, what was wrong with her?

  Or maybe she was looking at the situation from entirely the wrong perspective. Maybe she should embrace being lovable. Open herself up to the possibility. Stop being defined by hurtful words uttered by a woman who had never known how to be happy.

  “I love you, too,” she told her brother. “Now I’m going to go see my best friend and hear intimate details about your honeymoon. Be afraid. Be very afraid.”

  “Not a chance. Any reports you get are going to bother you a lot more than me.”

  She sighed. “I really hate it when you’re right.”

  “I know you do.”

  * * *

  MAYA FOUND PHOEBE in the kitchen. She was pouring brownie batter into a pan. The scent of butter and chocolate drifted to her, making her stomach growl. Maya sighed, knowing the smells would only get better—or worse, depending on her perspective—when the pan was put in the oven.

  “Hi,” she said with a smile. “Welcome back.”

  Phoebe put down the bowl and hugged her friend. “Hi, yourself. Did I know you were coming by?”

  “Not unless you’ve turned psychic. How was your honeymoon?” Maya held up a hand. “Remember, I’m asking in the most general of terms.”

  Phoebe giggled, then returned to pouring the brownie batter into the pan. “Amazing. Fantastic. Wonderful. I highly recommend honeymoons to everyone. Especially with a wonderful man like Zane. We had perfect weather and the food was delicious. I think I gained five pounds and I don’t even care.” She sighed blissfully.

  Phoebe had always been pretty, Maya thought, but today there was something about her. A glow. From being in love, she thought wistfully, and having that love returned. A couple of weeks of hot sex probably didn’t hurt, either. Wasn’t sex supposed to be good for the skin?

  “I’m glad you had a good time.”

  “Me, too.” Phoebe popped the brownies in the oven, then leaned against the counter. “Can you stay a bit?”

  “I can.”

  Phoebe pulled a pitcher of iced tea out of the refrigerator and poured them each a glass, then they sat at the table by the island. “What happened while I was gone?” she asked. “Anything exciting?”

  Maya thought about the commercial shoot, her upcoming class mostly for Eddie and Gladys, the subtle but inescapable restlessness she didn’t want to acknowledge and knew there was a lot from which she could choose. So it made no sense for her to blurt out, “I’m in love with Del.”

  Phoebe’s mouth dropped open. “You’re what? When? I was only gone a couple of weeks. How could I miss that? Start at the beginning and tell me everything.”

  “There’s not much to tell,” Maya admitted. “It was at the reception.” She hesitated a second, then told her friend what had happened that night. “After that, I just knew.”

  “OMG, seriously? You had sex with Del at my wedding?”

  “Technically, it was after and we were in my old room, so it wasn’t at the wedding.”

  “But still. You had sex on my wedding night before me!” Phoebe laughed. “You go, girl.” Her humor faded. “Are you okay? Have you told him? What did he say? Are you going to tell him? How do you think he feels about you? Does anyone else know?” She paused. “You can talk now.”

  “Gee, thanks.” Maya considered the list of questions. “I don’t know how I feel. No, I haven’t told him. Yes, I am scared. Very scared. I blew it the first time. Why would Del trust me now?”

  “So he doesn’t know how you feel?”

  “No. I haven’t said anything. I don’t know what to say.” Maya shifted in her chair. “We have to work together. I don’t want things to be awkward. We’re in a good place. Saying something would mess that up.”

  “Maybe in the best way possible. What if he’s in love with you?”

  “Then he can say something.” Maya drew in a breath. “I dumped him before and I was cruel about it. He has every right to hate me or pun
ish me and he’s only been nice. While I appreciate that, I can’t help thinking he would never trust me again. It’s too soon. It’s just...”

  “You’re scared.”

  “More like terrified.”

  There it was. The truth. Nothing to be proud of, but real, she thought.

  Phoebe’s expression was kind. “What do you want?”

  “I don’t know. Del isn’t the type to stick around. I just got back. I’m settled.”

  “You don’t sound settled.”

  “I’m confused. I love being back. The town is fantastic. I have everything I should want.”

  “Don’t talk to me about shoulds,” Phoebe said firmly. “I let them run my life for way too long. What does your heart tell you?”

  That she loved Del and wanted to be with him. That seeing the world appealed to her. That she wanted to be a part of a project that meant something more than celebrity gossip and cable access butt contests.

  “I don’t know,” she lied. Because she was afraid. Afraid of asking and being rejected. But if she didn’t ask, didn’t she risk losing out altogether? Wasn’t it better to put it out there, to go for it?

  “Maybe it’s time to find out,” her friend told her, speaking more truth than she could possibly know.

  * * *

  DEL PULLED UP in front of his parents’ house. His mother had texted him, telling him she needed to see him as soon as possible. Normally a request like that wouldn’t have bothered him, but he remembered his father’s concerns about Elaine, so had hurried right over.

  Over the past couple of weeks, he’d stopped by twice. His mom had seemed like her normal self. A little tired, but she’d claimed she wasn’t sleeping well. Something about “the change.” A topic he hadn’t been comfortable discussing. Now he wondered what was suddenly so urgent.

  As soon as he stopped the engine, Sophie bounded out of the house. The beagle ran toward him, her soft ears flopping in the early afternoon. She greeted him with a doggie grin and wagging tail.

  “Hey, girl,” Del said, crouching on the ground and petting her. She wiggled close to get as many rubs as she could. He obliged until he saw his mother step onto the wide porch.

  Elaine looked pale and tired. There were shadows under her eyes and a slump to her shoulders. Alarmed, he went to her.

  “Mom?”

  Before he could say anything else, she started to cry.

  “I can’t do it,” she said, tears spilling down her cheeks. “It’s too much. All of it. The party, your father. I just heard from Ronan and Mathias, and they’re both coming. Their rooms aren’t ready, the house is a mess and I’m so tired. I can’t do it.”

  Del wasn’t used to seeing his mother as anything but an even-tempered, calm, capable woman. He’d only ever seen her cry a handful of times and that was nearly always over his father. He would have sworn that when it came to easy stuff like throwing a party, she was unflappable.

  He walked up onto the porch and drew her into his arms. “Whatever it is, I’m here. We’ll deal. You don’t have to do this alone.”

  She sagged against him. He was shocked by how thin she felt. How frail. He’d dismissed his father’s concerns, but now knew he should have listened. Something was going on.

  He led her to the bench by the front door and waited until she sat. He settled next to her, then had to make room for Sophie, who jumped between them. The beagle stared at him as if to say “Finally. I’ve been worried about Mom.”

  “Tell me what’s up.” He kept his tone as calm and caring as possible.

  She wiped her eyes. “Nothing. I’m tired. I have a virus or something. I haven’t been sleeping.” She faked a smile. “I’m fine.”

  “Mom, you’re not fine. You don’t let stuff like this bother you. There has to be something.” He braced himself to hear something that would make him uncomfortable, then forced himself to ask, “Is it Dad?”

  “Your father? No. He’s exactly as he’s always been.” She tried another smile. This one worked a little better. “You should ignore me.”

  He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. “That’s not going to happen. Mom, are you sure there isn’t anything wrong?”

  “Yes. Like I said, I had a summer virus. It happens. I’m still recovering, but I’m getting my strength back. It’s just the party.”

  He rose and pulled her to her feet. “Come on. We’ll get this thing managed. Then you’ll feel better.”

  They walked through the house to the big kitchen. There he found a pad of paper. When they were both seated at the stools by the island, he looked at her.

  “What’s the party going to be like? Big? Small?”

  She gave a soft laugh. “It’s your father, Del, and he’s turning sixty next week.”

  Del nodded. “Big, then. Half the town and everyone he’s ever met?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Great. How much is planned?”

  She went over the details. There was already a caterer, along with a bar service. The out-of-town guests had been invited and they all had reservations at various hotels around town. The twins would be driving home in a couple of days.

  Ceallach’s assistant was handling the various art pieces that would be flown in to be displayed. The press would be there.

  “You didn’t want to have it somewhere else?” Del asked. “Like the resort or the convention center?”

  “Your father wants his party here. We’ll have tents in case of bad weather. I just have to get the house cleaned and prepared for the twins. Also, we’ll be having a family dinner.” The tremor returned to her voice.

  He touched her arm. “Mom, listen. I’ll get in a cleaning service to take care of the house. As for the family dinner, let’s get it catered. That way you can spend more time with the twins and less time cooking. You know they love the food at Angelo’s. I’ll order from there and pick it up.”

  “I don’t know. I should be cooking.”

  “No, you shouldn’t.”

  “Let me think about it.” She seemed to be fighting tears. “I have a guest list in the bedroom. Let me go get that.”

  He waited until she’d left, Sophie at her heels, then pulled out his cell and dialed.

  “Hey,” he said when Maya answered. “Are you free? Something’s going on with my mom and I need your help.”

  He couldn’t deny the relief he felt at the sound of her voice when she said, “I’ll be right there.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  “YOU SHOULD HAVE called me,” Maya said firmly from the chair by Elaine’s bed. “I told you I want to be here for you.”

  “I know. I would have. I just kind of lost it and turned to Del. I have no idea why.”

  Because he was back in town, Maya thought. Because he’d always been there for his mom, taking care of things when she couldn’t. Looking after his brothers, the family business. Being responsible.

  Elaine relaxed on the bed, Sophie stretched out next to her. She stroked the beagle and looked at Maya.

  “I didn’t mean to worry anyone.”

  “I think Del was more freaked than worried.” Maya had come as soon as she’d gotten his call. Together she and Elaine had reassured him that his mother would be fine after a nap.

  Now she drew in a breath. “Elaine, you have to tell them. This isn’t right. I don’t like keeping this secret. I mean it. I love you, but this is wrong.”

  Tears filled Elaine’s eyes. “Maya, please. I can’t. Not a week before Ceallach’s birthday. Don’t make me. After the party, we’ll talk. I promise.”

  Meaning she and Elaine would talk. Not that Elaine would tell her family. Maya didn’t understand. Ceallach and her sons loved her. Sure the news would be upsetting, but they would rally around her. Give her support. That was a good th
ing. Being fussed over had a way of raising a person’s spirits.

  “Has it occurred to you that part of the reason you’re feeling so overwhelmed is how much you’re having to do on your own?” she asked. “Not just the party, but Elaine, you’re dealing with breast cancer. You’re getting radiation. You have to tell them.”

  “I will. Later. Help me get through the party. You have to understand why that’s important.”

  Honest to God, she didn’t understand, but there was no point in going there. “I love you,” she told her friend. “How can I help?”

  * * *

  AN HOUR LATER, Maya and Del went over the to-do list.

  “She has most of the party organized,” he said. “I’ve got a cleaning service coming in tomorrow. How did you get her to agree to have the family dinner catered?”

  Maya thought back to conversation with Elaine and the other woman’s stubborn refusal to share something as important as her diagnosis and treatment with her family. “She owes me.”

  “I’m glad.” Del made a few more notes. “Dellina has confirmed everything else. The tents, the food. The twins will be here in a few days and then we’ll be in party mode.”

  Maya flipped through the guest list. Excluding those coming locally, most were names she didn’t recognize. Notes after some of them helped. Minister of Culture, France, had a way of clarifying who someone was.

  “Your dad’s a big deal,” she murmured, noting a former United States vice president on the list and a couple of big-time actors. Not Jonny Blaze, she thought with a smile. Madeline would be disappointed.

  “Always has been.”

  She looked at Del. “What?”

  “I didn’t know how big the party was. There are five hundred people on the guest list. Mom shouldn’t have tried to handle this on her own.”

  “Dellina helped.” Although she knew that wasn’t what he meant.

  “She never said anything. I know he didn’t lift a finger. It’s always been like that. She takes care of them. That’s the marriage they have.”

  She put her hand on his arm. “She loves him. There’s no regret. It might not be what you’d want or what I’d want, but it works for them.”