Fall Gently (Red Light: Silver Girls series)

by Debra Kayn

  He took off his coat and slipped off his boots. After a few minutes when Roni never returned, he went ahead and pulled down the bedspread on her side of the bed. He stood there staring down at the light yellow flowers on the sheet. He'd already thought of the bed as theirs. He'd spent a handful of nights with her and could ignore that she entertained other men in the room, but tonight the thought of her opening her door to customers left a bitter taste in his mouth.

  He pulled out his phone and texted Jeremy. Tell Tiff I'm buying every appointment with Tiff tomorrow. I don't want her seeing other customers.

  Before he put the phone away, it vibrated. He read Jeremy's reply. Ok

  He set the phone on the dresser when Roni came out of the bathroom. She'd brushed her hair, and her lips were rosy red from brushing her teeth. A curl of lust settled in his gut remembering the minty kiss.

  "I'm really tired tonight." She walked toward the bed and paused noticing the covers open to her. "Do you mind if I just go to sleep? I don't feel much like talking."

  Hell no, he wouldn't mind. He wanted her in bed beside him. "Go ahead."

  "Are you staying over?" She sat down on the edge of the mattress.

  "Can I?" he asked. It took everything in him to seek her permission even though he was staying. Nobody could make him leave.

  Her nipples peaked under her T-shirt. He raised his gaze to her face, wishing there was a way to get her past her leeriness. The attraction between them thick and unavoidable, she only made things harder on herself by denying herself pleasure. Though he still couldn't figure out how to broach the attraction knowing he needed to protect her from abuse or being used.

  It would be like giving a smoker a cigarette while preaching cancer risks.

  She nodded and laid down, cradling her head on the pillow. He turned off the light and laid down on the bedspread. He had no idea how to help her, except to show her he was a man of his word.

  Her experience made his goal an impossible feat. He was no therapist or even a man who put energy into relationships. Hell, he wasn't even sure when he went from wanting to help her out of a bad situation to wanting her for himself.

  An uncomfortable silence filled the air. Dawson latched his hands behind his head. His cock half hard as he tried to forget the sight of Roni's legs and the idea he'd like her thighs gripped around his hips and the soft scent of wintergreen blowing over his face.

  "Are you a smoker?" His voice vibrated his aroused body.

  "No."

  "Just thought you might be using the Lifesavers to try and kick a habit," he said. "In prison, a lot of the guys who smoked on the outside would use candy when they got the urge to light up and had no cigarettes left for the month on the inside."

  "I do have a bad habit." She turned over on her side and faced him. "Two, in fact."

  "What would those be?" He turned and propped his head on his bent arm. Laying together but still a foot too far away, he wanted nothing more than to feel her body along the length of him.

  "I bite my nails, and I'd like to stop." Her hand on her pillow fisted, and she hid her fingers from his view. "Nibbling on a Lifesaver gives me something to do with my teeth, and I can put the tip of my tongue in the little hole."

  Motherfucker. This conversation was heading somewhere fast, and he had to get control. "What's your other bad habit?"

  She raised her brows. "I use the flavor to get the taste of latex out of my mouth."

  "La—" He shut his mouth, and his cock lost all interest in the conversation.

  "I eat them all night long, and every twenty minutes or so during the day." Her lips puckered, and her gaze never left him. "Even when I'm not working I can taste the rubber on my tongue. Like right now. The aftertaste sticks around, and it makes me gag."

  He rolled to his back. The direction Roni took the conversation went south. Her attempt to piss him off and disgust him with her claim to suck other men's dick only made him more determined to get her the hell out of here. No woman should ever rely on her body parts or sexual talent to survive or feel they are powerless.

  "Even now, my lips feel swollen from the back and forth motion. Because of all the different sizes of dick I had tonight. My mouth has been stretched so far; my lips feel like they'll split right open at the corners." She paused, and he refused to give her the emotion she tried to draw from him.

  He let her stew over what she'd disclosed. Her pathetic attempt to push him into forcing sex on her wasn't going to happen. He wouldn't allow her to blame him for when they ended up having sex, and they would have sex. Just not tonight.

  When the time came that she'd come to him honestly, so he knew without a doubt that she wasn't testing or manipulating him, he'd be ready. When that happened, she'd see that it was him inside of her.

  Not Vince.

  Not her stepdad.

  Not the customers at all the bordellos she'd worked at and the men she'd serviced.

  She rolled back over to her side and put her back to him. Her breathing remained harsh and ragged to match the tension in her body. Out of patience, he reached over and put his hand on the back of her neck.

  "Don't," she snapped.

  "Accept it and go to sleep, sweetheart. I'm not hurting you." He left his hand on her and used his thumb to caress her the tight cords running up each side of her neck.

  After several minutes, she shivered and let herself relax. Only when she'd successfully accepted his strength and position in her life and fallen asleep, he closed his eyes.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Roni stood beside the bed with her hand at her waist ready to untie the belt holding her robe closed. Dawson left an hour ago, and though she hated servicing the men, she looked forward to getting her mind off Dawson's almost permanent presence in her life.

  The customers were predictable. In and out. No talking, no hassle, no games.

  Dawson thrust her into a whirlwind of conflicting emotions and lately, she found herself wound tighter than a bun on a librarian.

  She wished he'd make a move to have sex with her. Tired of being on edge and the constant ache in her stomach, she wanted to get sex over with and move forward.

  Tiff opened the door.

  Roni stood straighter and smiled.

  Her madam walked into the room and shut the door. Roni's shoulder's sagged. She'd forgotten to pick up the schedule from Marci.

  "I'm so sorry. I forgot to see Marci before I came back to my room from lunch. I don't know what my first customer expects." Roni tightened her robe.

  "You have one man who paid for your whole night," said Tiff.

  She shook her head, making herself lightheaded. "No, I can't do that. It's too much. You can take the loss of pay out of my earnings."

  It was one thing to blow a man off and have him in her room for fifteen or twenty minutes. She couldn't service a man for four hours. No, she refused. If Tiff wanted to reprimand her with the Network, she could. There was no way she could pretend to enjoy herself that long when she detested opening her mouth for strangers.

  "The customer has already paid." Tiff's gaze softened. "Dawson wants you all to himself this evening, which seems to have become a habit with him, hasn't it?"

  "For a blowjob?" she blurted.

  Tiff laughed. "Honey, I'm not sure that man knows what he wants. Except you, and I have a feeling he'll be content to stare at a wall as long as he can sit in the same room as you."

  She stepped back and sat on the bed.

  "This is bad for your business." Roni clamped her mouth shut and exhaled out her nose. "You know what? I quit. He's done making trouble for you."

  Tiff sat down beside her. Roni shook her head. Frustrated, she had no excuse to give Tiff. She certainly wasn't going to stick around and put the bordello in jeopardy. She was lucky the other sex workers were caught up in their own lives to question her lack of socializing. She barely had two conversations with them over the last week. Dawson took up all her spare time.

  "Is that what you want t
o do?" Tiff waved her hand in front of her. "Don't give me the answer you think I want to hear and don't tell me what Dawson wants you to do. I want to know what you think about working here at Red Light and being employed by the Network."

  Roni ran her tongue over her back molars, needing a mint. "Prostitution is not something I want to do. I hate it. That's one of the reasons why I only signed up to give oral sex. But, I appreciate the job, and I do my best to make the customers happy."

  "I imagine most of the ladies who end up at Red Light would prefer to do something else with their lives than get paid to have sex, but I also understand needing money." Tiff rubbed her belly. "I wouldn't want my daughter to work in the sex industry."

  "You're having a girl?" asked Roni.

  Tiff nodded. "That doesn't mean I don't understand why someone would sell sex or that I don't respect the hell out of women who have made a decent life for themselves in a profession that is looked down upon, even by the men who pay money to use you. There's also the whole aspect of working in the sex industry is illegal. That what I do is encouraging women to break the law. I haven't told the others because they'll be leaving soon. But, you, Ella, Shana, and Lynn will be the last bunch of ladies that work for Red Light. I'm closing the doors and going to concentrate on my family and running Silver Girls."

  "Wow," she whispered, looking down at Tiff's baby bump. "I think you're doing the right thing. Your daughter will need you when she arrives, and you do so much for all of us, plus Silver Girls."

  "Honey, you don't even know the half of it." Tiff laughed softly. "Have you met my husband?"

  Roni smiled. Jeremy was pretty dominating and yet Tiff kept him jumping.

  "There's a whole motorcycle club I call family and they're all a little like Jeremy." Tiff sighed happily. "Red Light served its purpose for many, many years. It's time to take a break."

  God, what she wouldn't give not to have any worries and live a quiet, calm life. Her eyes burned. She wanted to go one day without stress. That's all she'd ever wanted.

  "I took the job to hide away from a very bad man," whispered Roni. "Now Dawson tells me I'm free to leave without any worries that I'll have to go back to the life I ran from. I do want to go back to Seattle, but I've made so many mistakes. Most of all, I trusted the wrong man and it isn't the first time I've made that mistake. I'm afraid I'm doing it again, even though the circumstances feel differently to me."

  "And, you don't think you can trust Dawson?"

  "I know I can't," said Roni.

  "Hm." Tiff tapped her foot. "Is it about trusting him or trusting yourself? You made a mistake in the past."

  Roni groaned and curled her lip.

  "Okay, a few mistakes." Tiff softened her voice. "You learned from those mistakes, right?"

  Roni nodded.

  "Honey, why do you think you'd make the same mistakes with Dawson? He's been here...what? Six weeks or eight weeks? He's put everything on hold to help you. That's a long time to wait around for a woman that doesn't trust him."

  Roni folded her arms. Tiff made it sound as if she'd unfairly judged Dawson. She had no idea Dawson belonged to Sparrows.

  "You want to like him, don't you?" asked Tiff.

  She blinked to keep from crying. It was totally wrong to have the feelings inside of her she received when Dawson entered her life. Every time Dawson came close to her, she practically begged him to touch her. She longed for the nights he stayed with her, and she'd pretend to sleep so he'd touch her. It was the only time he willingly put his hand on her. She wanted his gentle touch.

  She wanted someone to love her.

  She wanted to close her eyes at night knowing no one would hurt her.

  "There's no rush to quit." Tiff patted Roni's leg. "If you want to continue working until your contract is up, I'm fine with that. I can keep the ladies from asking questions and so far, Dawson has been great about coming and going with Jeremy escorting him into the building. But, if you want to pack your bags tonight and head out with Dawson, I'll have Marci come in right now and help you."

  Roni blew out her breath. Was it that easy to make a life changing decision?

  "I'd like a few days," she said with a catch in her throat.

  "That'll be fine." Tiff one-arm hugged her. "Since the other ladies are working and I need to get out there and escort their customers out and bring in the next round of men, I guess I should tell you that Dawson is waiting downstairs to spend time with you. I can't have him up here when business is happening despite him paying for the four-hour block. Do you want to go down there and join him for a few hours before Silver Girls opens up later?"

  "That's okay if I do?"

  "Yes, and if you need me for any reason text me on the phone that Dawson gave you. He also has our number." Tiff held out her hand. "Now, help a pregnant lady up from the bed, and let's get you downstairs. Dawson's pacing, and if he's anything like Jeremy, he won't stay down there long before he comes looking for you."

  "I need to get dressed." She hefted Tiff off the bed.

  "Change into your clothes. I'll come pick you up in fifteen minutes with the next round of men." Tiff went to the door, turned around, and gazed at her intently. "You're a strong woman, Roni. Believe in yourself and you'll find out that you can trust others again. Not everyone is bad, and sometimes someone's actions in their past are done for good reasons and won't be repeated."

  She held Tiff's advice close to her heart. Without a mother growing up throughout her teenage years, loving advice came far and few between to guide her through life. The last thing she remembered her mother telling her was to smile more often, and she'd make more friends.

  Hurrying to get dressed, she promised herself she'd try taking Tiff and her mom's advice.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The downstairs of the Sterling Building was a far cry from the fantasy date Roni created for him the other night. Instead of shrimp on the pier and a concert until midnight, Dawson gazed around a room laden with red velvet curtains, half-naked pictures of women with meat on their bones in all the right places and draped over a couch or posed seductively against a bar. Because of the off-hours, the lights were dimmed, and the silence gave no hint of the seductive music that blared from the large floor speakers in the corner of the room when the business opened later, and women stripped to entertain men.

  "Dawson?" called Roni.

  He stood from the chair and walked to the back hallway. Roni stayed on the bottom step, searching for him.

  He stepped into the hallway. "I'm here."

  Dressed in a pair of jeans, a tight-fitting, long-sleeved shirt, and a pair of sneakers, Roni's eyes widened at the sight of him, and she smiled shyly.

  That hesitant approval bridged the gap for him, and he stepped forward and wrapped her in his arms. His heart pounded, and he cupped the back of her neck, feeding his need to touch and assure her everything was okay.

  "Hey, you," he murmured against her hair, inhaling the sweet scent of wintergreen.

  "Tiff gave me permission to come down here," she said.

  He pulled his head back without letting her go. "Are you okay with seeing me outside of Red Light?"

  She nodded. "Yeah. It's only downstairs."

  He gathered her hand and walked her into the main room of Silver Girls. Bypassing the tables, he stood her in front of the large floor-to-ceiling glass windows. The view of Cedar Street in front of them, he continued to hold her hand.

  "You can look outside at a different view than from your room, and those on the sidewalk can't see us because of the privacy film placed on the glass." He pointed up the street. "See that brick building at the end of the block?"

  "The doctor's office?"

  "Yeah." He dropped his arm to his side. "I'm staying above the office at the hotel."

  She looked up at him. "You mean when you're not staying with me."

  He chuckled. "Your bed is more comfortable than the one at the hotel, and so far, you don't snore."

  She shoo
k her head in amusement. "You do."

  "Yeah?"

  She nodded. "It doesn't bother me."

  "That's good to know." He led her to the table behind her so she could continue to look outside. "I hope Tiff let you know I paid for tonight, so you're not losing any money."

  "About that..." She sat down and leaned against the table. "I don't want you paying for my whole evening again."

  "I'm not sure I can give you my word it won't happen again." He sprawled his hands on the table. "You mean a lot to me, and I don't even think it's about knowing you hate having to do your job that bothers me and makes me want to stop the other men from seeing you. I tried to separate what you do here to how I feel about you, and knowing those guys are getting what I want..."

  "You want a blowjob?" Her voice cut through him.

  He ground his teeth together. "No, I don't...I want you not to give the customers one."

  She sat back and looked away. "Fair enough."

  "What's that mean?"

  She shrugged and continued to gaze around the room not meeting his eyes. He tapped his thumb against the table. He'd barely opened his mouth, and she'd shut him out. She couldn't be blind to how he felt about her. He stayed in her damn room.

  "You're like the hero in every movie, spreading your good around." She moistened her lips and gazed at him. "Nevermind. It doesn't matter."

  "Yeah, it matters what you think," he said. There was nothing good about him. He had a long list of crimes behind him, failed relationships, consequences of his actions that ended in death. Every fucking day he tried to keep his head above water and not drown in the life that continually pushed him under the surface.

  He wanted to do one good thing for his sister and prove to himself that all the pain, the sacrifices, the fuck-ups weren't a total loss. He'd been too late to save Jacqueline, but he'd try his damnedest to save Roni.