“Is it important to you for your child to have siblings?”
“No!” shouted Sawyer.
“Yes!” shouted Francis at exactly the same moment.
“I’m not budging on this one,” warned Sawyer, her dark eyes flashing. “I love being an only child.”
Francis’s chin jutted forward. “I’m not budging either. I love my brothers.”
“How about we leave this one to the end?” Jack suggested.
Kevin kept his thoughts to himself, although he’d always wanted a brother or sister. Francis, not wanting to do battle, backed down. “Okay, we can decide later. That’s okay by me. You good with that, Sawyer?”
“Whatever,” she muttered. “But we’re going to have to talk about it sometime.”
Kevin pushed on. “Well, here’s an easy one: Do you want your child to have a mother and a father?”
“Yes,” they all chorused.
“I think it’s unfair and unwise not to consider a single mom.” Mrs. Martin clearly had strong feelings on some subjects. “After all, Sawyer and I are doing very well on our own.”
“I agree.” Kevin surprised everyone. “I read somewhere that a child only really needs one good parent to turn out well, to feel loved.”
“I could have used one of those,” Jack interjected. “I agree. We should consider a single mother, but not a single dad.”
“Okay.” Kevin made a note of it. “We’re almost at the end of the list. Would you feel comfortable if a same-sex couple raised your child?”
They all fell silent, contemplating the question. “I wouldn’t mind,” Sawyer spoke up.
“My feelings should be pretty clear on this one,” offered Jack, with a slight smile, “but they’re not, even though I’m gay. I miss my mom, even if I never knew her. I wish I had a mom.”
Kevin’s eyes grew wide. Of course he’d heard the heated exchange between Jack and his father, but he’d put Mr. Meneer’s cruel words down to bullying.
Jack cracked up. “Yes, Kevin. I’m gay. What’s up with you prep-school guys and your lack of gaydar? I thought it would have been perfected, but wow, was I wrong.”
A red flush crawled up Kevin’s face. “Sorry, man. And for the record, I see nothing wrong with a same-sex couple. My Uncle James is gay, and he’s married to Tom, and they’re two of the best guys I know aside from my dad.”
“Cool,” said Jack. “Francis?”
“Yeah. I can’t see anything wrong with that. All I want for this kid is a good family.”
Sawyer clapped her hands. “You actually are a nice guy.”
“Next,” said Kevin, looking at his watch. “We don’t have much more time. Our game is in an hour, so we can’t stay much longer. Do you want a family where one parent will stay at home?”
That wasn’t an issue for anyone.
“So we’re back to the sibling question,” said Kevin. “I don’t have any brothers or sisters, but I wish I did. We know about Nate and Devon. What about you, Jack?”
Jack shook his head. “Just me and Dad. Now just me.”
“Sawyer? You feel pretty strongly about this.”
“Nah, I’m chill about it now. I get grumpy sometimes. Mostly I care about the mom and dad.” She turned to her mother. “I’m feeling kind of tired, Mom.”
“Okay.” Mrs. Martin jumped up, full of concern for her daughter. “Everybody out. We covered a lot of ground and it’s intense stuff. Let’s all meet again at the same time tomorrow and go over the different profiles.”
She shooed them out the door. When they’d left, she turned to her daughter. “I love you,” she said. “And I admire you too.”
That night, Sawyer slept deeply, realizing that she had all she needed to be happy—one amazing parent and some very loyal friends.
Chapter Fifteen
By the seventh month, your baby’s eyes can open and close and can sense light changes. Your baby can also make grasping motions and likes to suck her thumb.
Excerpt: From Conception to Birth
The next evening, the four friends were huddled around Sawyer’s computer, their eyes glued to the screen. Nobody spoke as Sawyer scrolled through the profiles of prospective parents.
“There are so many of them,” she whispered. “How are we ever going to pick the perfect mom and dad?”
“Maybe they’ll pick us,” offered Kevin hopefully. “You know, just kind of jump off the page.”
Francis remained silent, studying Sawyer out of the corner of his eye. He still couldn’t get used to her new roundness. Her tummy left little doubt that the baby’s arrival lay only a couple of months off. She was handling it well. She appeared relaxed and positive. Her hair had a sheen to it, and the strain of those initial months had disappeared from her expression. Good thing too, he thought, because Sawyer’s moods have a huge impact on how everyone around her feels.
“Let’s hope so. Otherwise, we’re screwed.” Jack clicked through the pages of people who desperately wanted a child of their own. “It’s sad—all these great people who want kids.”
For them, the website was a last resort along the bumpy road to parenthood. The pages of detailed profiles laid bare the hopes and dreams of people of all ages and races and beliefs. They wanted the one thing that so many people take for granted—to hear a child call them mommy or daddy.
“It’s heartbreaking. They all look so…so…” Sawyer stared at the eager faces, each smiling optimistically toward the camera.
“Ready,” Jack finished. “How about if we divide the web pages four ways. Since we’ve all got our own computers, we can work on our own list. Each of us can pick who we think will be the best candidate from the list we have. One choice only. Okay?”
“Good idea,” Kevin agreed. “Then each of us can present our favorite to the group—argue why we think they are the best parents. They have to meet all or most of the criteria we agreed upon.”
By the time Mrs. Martin slipped in from work, they were so engrossed in the task at hand that they failed to hear her enter. “Hello,” she called. “Have you made any progress?”
“It’s slow.” Sawyer yawned. “But we’ve divided up the parents alphabetically into four groups, and we’re not giving up until we find the final four.”
“If it’s too much for you, sweetheart, you can take a break, or finish up tomorrow.”
“I’m okay, Mom.”
“Good, then I can’t wait to see the couples you come up with.”
For the next few hours, they continued to study the profiles. By close to midnight, bleary-eyed and emotionally exhausted, they’d each managed to pick three or four prospective parents. They gave themselves a week to whittle this down to only one and put together their presentations. “That should be enough time, but if you need more, it’s okay,” Sawyer said.
“So we’ll meet back here in seven days.” Francis could use the break and figured the others could too.
• • •
Although his parents always tried to be positive when the baby topic arose, Francis knew how difficult it was for them. How hard it would be to say good-bye to their first grandchild. His mother’s expression changed (when she thought nobody was looking) from placid to sad, and his father’s moods were often punctuated by long, deep sighs. Despite this, Francis’s mother helped him to narrow down his top three candidates to one, an impossibly difficult task for her, and he appreciated her help. He’d been surprised—and relieved—when she’d offered her assistance.
“Thanks, Mom.” Francis hugged her. “I know how hard this is, and”—his voiced quavered—“well…I’m sorry.”
“I want the baby to have the best possible home too.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I just wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
“But it does, Mom. And it’s not up to us, anyway,” Francis explained again. “It wouldn’
t be fair to Sawyer.”
His dad’s approach had been more practical. “We need to consider the baby’s future,” he insisted. “Think about Devon and Nate and how much we love them. This baby deserves the same love, from adults—not kids still in high school. The twins changed our lives for the better in so many ways. Let this baby do the same for another couple. Please.”
“I know you and your dad are right,” Francis’s mom admitted to him as they sat outside on a sunny afternoon watching Devon and Nate kick a soccer ball around. She smiled. Their high-pitched giggles and happy bantering said it all. “I’m just finding it difficult.”
Francis watched his brothers and thought his heart might burst with love. He knew they were doing the right thing. Sawyer had made the right choice. His attitude had changed so much since Christmas, and he owed a lot of that change to his father’s support.
Things had improved at the Sloan household. Although his mother still found discussing the baby hard, her face smoothed, and her smile returned. Francis reverted to being the good big brother he’d always been, once he started to forgive himself and focus on doing the right thing.
His father noticed the change in him. “Francis,” he said early one March morning while taking out the trash, “I think you and I need to go for a walk.” Francis knew he had something on his mind. “Sawyer is more than two-thirds of the way through her pregnancy,” he began. She can no longer disguise her condition. Have you thought about how you’re going to handle the boys at school?”
Francis kicked a stone into the gutter. “You know, Sawyer’s been open about it since she found out. I can’t do that. I just want to keep the whole thing quiet, but if word gets out, well, I’ll have to deal with it. I mean, I’ll support her. I owe her that.”
His dad slowed down and placed his hand on Francis’s shoulder. “That’s what I hoped you’d say. You know, the measure of a person’s character is not the situation he finds himself in, but how he responds to that situation. I probably don’t say this often enough. I want to tell you that your mom and I are proud of how you’re responding to this whole thing. You’ve grown up so much. You’re not the same angry boy you were in Hawaii. We love you, and we’re proud of you.”
Francis felt his cheeks redden. “That means a lot, Dad.”
They stood facing each other awkwardly. Finally, his dad’s serious face broke into a wide grin. “Race you home,” he called and set off at a sprint down the street.
Francis watched him lope away. “You don’t have a chance,” he shouted, but he let his father win.
• • •
All week, Francis devoted his spare time to preparing his presentation. They’d agreed to finalize their choice by the end of March and meet the prospective parents in April. Ms. Yeung had warned them that the selection process and informing the candidates would take time.
Francis felt confident about the couple he’d chosen, and the more he learned about them, the more he liked them. No doubt his friends would be equally passionate about who they wanted to have parent London, so he worked hard to put forth a strong argument. By Thursday night, he felt ready to introduce his choice to the group.
Even so, Francis was anxious the next evening when he arrived at Sawyer’s apartment. Looking around at his friends fidgeting with nervous anticipation, he realized they all were. With little fanfare, Mrs. Martin drew names out of a hat to fairly decide the order of the presentations.
“Kevin, you’re lucky number one, followed by Sawyer, and then Jack. Last but not least, Francis. So, if you’re ready, Kevin, you have the floor.”
Kevin groaned. “I always think it’s a disadvantage to go first.” But his place on the school debating team gave him an edge; he didn’t mind public speaking, and it showed. He began confidently. “I’d like to introduce you to David and Beth Scott. They are ‘friendly creative, loving, and fun.’ David is a high-school math teacher by day, but has a passion for baking. Beth has an organic nursery behind their home, so London would be guaranteed a healthy lifestyle. Beth is thirty-six years old, so slightly older, but not by much. David is thirty-one.”
He reached for the file he’d created and pulled out some photos. “Check out the pics I’m about to pass around. Beth bears a freaky resemblance to Sawyer, which would be nice for the baby. She’s got the same hair and eye colors. They have a large family—lots of young nephews and nieces, which would also be an advantage for the baby. They live in Kelowna, British Columbia, which, although not a thriving metropolis, is a university town.” He nodded at Jack. “So we could call them urban. They write: ‘We have a lot of love in our hearts and we can’t wait to share our love with your baby or toddler. Please, please consider us.’” Before Kevin sat down, he passed around copies of the Scotts’ profile.
Sawyer took his place. “They sound really nice, Kevin, but wait until you meet…Maria Del Ray from Calgary, Alberta. Maria is a single, thirty-seven-year-old woman, divorced, and a veterinarian. I know two-parent families are preferred, but I fell in love with her. She’s cool. She lives in a large house in the city and has a black lab called Benny. As you can see from her photo, she’s got a tattoo on her left arm, like me. It says: ‘Trust in Yourself’—a sentiment I can totally relate to.”
She grinned. “I mean, how great is that? A mom with a tat. And a dog. Francis has a dog and he talks to it all the time, so the baby won’t be lonely. Anyway, she says: ‘I cannot wait to be a mother to the boy or girl I will love with every fiber of my being. Your baby will grow and thrive in an environment of love. He or she will be educated well, travel the world, and gain a deep respect for nature and other people. I admire your courage as a birth mother and am truly grateful that you are reading my profile.’
“She writes that if she were to choose three words to describe how she would treat a child, they would be: ‘Love without conditions.’ That’s a strong statement. Take some time to study her photos and profile and I know you will like what you see.”
“It’s going to be impossible to choose,” Francis said worriedly. “Everyone sounds good.”
“It’ll be easier once we talk about all of them, but for now, it’s Jack’s turn,” Sawyer said.
Jack switched places with Sawyer. “Beth and David and Maria all sound like loving, kind people, but Michelle and Winston Oliver have all that to offer and more. They are a multicultural couple. Michelle is originally from Paris, France, and her husband of ten years, Winston, is from the Ivory Coast, just like Devon and Nate. He is a writer, a successful one at that, so he is home all day, awesome for a kid. Michelle is a documentary filmmaker. They live in Vancouver in a large apartment in Soho. You can see by their photos that they are pretty active—bike riding, swimming, camping, and skiing. They have a cabin on one of the Gulf Islands.
“Here’s what they have to say about themselves: ‘We have a lot of love to give and full and happy lives surrounded by family and friends. We want to share our good fortune and joy with a child and we will embrace your baby with open arms and open hearts. He or she will be raised in a fun, creative, bilingual household, with all of the advantages of a full-time at-home parent. Please, take the time to get to know us.’ These two meet and possibly exceed our standards. They are both thirty-three years old and both have postgrad degrees. They are ready to start a family and any child would be lucky to call them parents.”
He passed around their photos, and everyone agreed that they looked ideal. Then it was time for Francis to present his couple.
So far, he liked all of the possible parents-to-be, but as he took his place in front of his friends, he felt confident in his choice. “Meet Sydney Fox, originally from Vancouver, and Taylor Laberge, from Quebec City. They live in the heart of downtown Montreal. Sydney is thirty-three and Taylor is thirty-five. They are both profs at McGill University. Taylor in anthropology and Sydney in new media studies. Bonus! McGill has a day care on site, and as professor
s, they keep quite flexible hours. They are bilingual and have a large extended family and tons of support. They spend their summers in the countryside in France. They travel quite a bit.
“This is what they have to say about themselves: ‘We love that you are reading our profile and would be overjoyed to welcome a baby into our family. With us, your child will thrive in an environment of love, learning, respect, and joy. Your baby will be cherished. We will speak openly about the adoption and hope that you too might play a part in your child’s life.’ I don’t think I have to add a lot more to that. This couple leapt off the page, and as soon as I read their profile, I knew, hands down, that…that…that our baby deserves a home like this one.”
He took a deep breath. “Before I pass out their photos, there is one more thing. They fit most of the criteria, except—and I know you might not approve, Sawyer—they have a three-year-old, a little girl they adopted at the age of one. They want to add to their family. I don’t think you should write them off.”
He handed the portfolio, including their photo, to Jack. He glanced at it, did a double take, and guffawed. “I didn’t expect this at all, not from you.” He grinned broadly and passed the pictures on to Kevin.
Kevin’s eyes were like saucers. “You’re kidding! You’re putting forward a gay couple?”
Jack smiled. “Like I said, I never expected this from you, Francis.”
Francis ignored them both. He sat down. Then he stood up again and addressed his final plea to Sawyer. “I know you think the baby would be better off without a sibling, but I disagree. I didn’t know how lonely I was until we adopted Nate and Devon. There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for my little brothers. Don’t write this family off; at least let them come for the interview before you decide. These are two good dads. And two is better than one.” He sat down again. He’d said all he could say.
“Thank you, Francis. Now, there are five of us, including me,” said Mrs. Martin. “Let’s cast our votes and let Ms. Yeung know the results so she can set up the interviews. Everyone agreed?”
Saying Good-bye to London Page 15