Surrender

by Rhiannon Paille

  “Oh.”

  “What have these dreams entailed?”

  “Death. The Ferryman said it wasn’t my time yet. What does that mean?”

  Istar grimaced. “It means you’re a Ferryman.”

  Krishani stumbled away from the horse towards the service hall. He had hoped it wasn’t true, but Istar’s words confirmed it.

  “I will return soon. Until then, I advise you to spend some time in the library.” He snapped the reins hard and sped out of the stables towards Nandaro.

  • • •

  “Ahdunie!” Mallorn called from the cabin. Istar and his horse Paladin approached from beyond the creek. Paladin bent down and was already lapping up water before Istar slid off his back. He hopped across the creek and looked at The Kiirar, a grave expression on his face.

  “Greetings Mallorn,” he grumbled.

  “You do not come with good news, do you?” Mallorn asked. He paced towards the barn, preparing to take a walk with his old friend, but Istar stayed firmly planted on the grass.

  “Nay. I know what the trouble in the Avrigard quadrant is,” Istar said. He watched Paladin drinking from the stream and Mallorn followed his gaze.

  “And?”

  “A Flame is dead.”

  “Nay!” Mallorn gasped. He paced back and forth in the grass, unsure how to react. “How did you find out?”

  Istar raised his head to gaze out at the forests. “Worse news yet. Kaliel, my lady’s apprentice, witnessed the death.” Istar took a sharp breath and let it out slowly.

  Mallorn’s eyes widened. “She is a Flame!”

  “Aye.” Istar grimaced. He passed Mallorn and rounded the left side of the cabin. On the other side was a patch of evergreens growing in a cluster to the right. The creek extended towards a crease between the forests, on one side the evergreens, and on the other the maple, cedar and birch trees of Nandaro.

  “So the Valtanyana have returned. Have you received any word from Tor?” Mallorn asked.

  Istar followed his gaze, but shook his head. “Tor is too busy dealing with The Daed in Avrigard.”

  Mallorn nodded. The Daed were known opposers of High King Tor. They were quiet, but if they figured out how to break into Avrigost and awaken the Valtanyana, there was no telling how many factions of them would crawl out of their holes, willing to serve their former masters. It was dangerous to even think about it. One of the Valtanyana alone would be enough to raise concern. Mallorn hoped that the Daed hadn’t awakened all eleven of them. What it had taken to silence them in the First Era was unheard of, and if they stole the Flames.… Mallorn shuddered. “What does the Gatekeeper have to say?”

  “I haven’t spoken with the Gatekeeper, not since she denied me the first time.”

  Mallorn paused for a moment and then understood him, bemused by his alarm. “You did not know of this. Avristar did not warn you about the Flame being here, did she?” He was relatively new to the ways of the ancient land. He knew, however, that if the Gatekeeper, the very voice of Avristar, kept the knowledge from Istar, then that knowledge must possess some ancient secret.

  Istar looked out at the horizon, the sun beginning its descent. “Nay, that knowledge was kept from me, but that does not worry me as much as my own apprentice worries me.”

  Mallorn frowned. “You have much on your hands, Istar.”

  Istar blinked. They could have been brothers with their similar features. “Krishani is The Ferryman.”

  Mallorn staggered back towards the front of the cabin. He passed the front door and turned the corner. Tucked away on the narrow side of the hill was a set of doors that led into a deep cellar concealed by the mound.

  “I haven’t time for a history lesson, Mallorn,” Istar called after him.

  Mallorn disappeared. He knew he was being less than hospitable, but that didn’t matter right now. Istar followed him down the stairs. Mallorn shuffled through some scrolls he kept in the cellar, along with the rest of his library, mostly things he had brought back with him from Talanisdir, his homeland in the Lands of Immortals. He didn’t want to think about what it had become after the Valtanyana. Istar joined him and he looked up from the scrolls. “A Ferryman and a Flame in the same place at the same time? You do have a dilemma on your hands.”

  “Aye, so I fear. I’m in need of a tutor for the girl. I will deal with the boy myself.” Istar pursed his lips and waited for him to find what he was looking for.

  Mallorn understood. “So that is why you came.”

  “Aye, Atara can’t handle her. She is convinced the Valtanyana will attack.”

  “And what does Atara have to say of this?”

  “Atara has agreed to it.”

  Mallorn ignored him and began shuffling through the racks of scrolls until he finally pulled apart the one he wanted. He made a small gasp of excitement as he pushed the scroll into Istar’s hands. “The Tavesin family.”

  “Aye,” Istar said slowly as he opened the scroll. On it was nothing but the family crest. He pulled his eyebrows together in confusion. “Will you take the girl or not?”

  Mallorn laughed. “You think here? With a hermit? Oh, I do not know if that is such a good idea. I am rather harsh, Istar.”

  “That is exactly why I came to you.”

  “Train a Flame.…” He pondered a moment and turned back to the stacks of scrolls lost inside the cubby holes of an old wine rack. “I once met the Azurite Flame, nice fellow, very intelligent.” He stroked his beard as he peered through the diamond-shaped shelves.

  Istar tapped his foot impatiently, rolling up the crest of the Tavesin family. He set it down on the work table and crossed his arms.

  Mallorn smiled. “I would be pleased to meet her. I will try to train her. No promises.” He gave Istar a stern look.

  Istar sighed and climbed out of the cellar. He walked across the grass while Mallorn followed him.

  “What was that about the Tavesin family?” Istar asked.

  “Krishani is not a Child of Avristar. From what I know, Ferrymen only existed in twelve families in all the lands. The Tavesin family resides on Terra, he must be their successor.” He moved towards the front door of the cabin while Istar mumbled something and descended the hill towards the creek, where Paladin waited.

  “I will bring her by Samhain!” Istar shouted.

  Mallorn nodded. “Ahdunie!” He lifted his hand and waved as his friend mounted Paladin and trotted into the forest.

  * * *

  22-Goodbye

  Kaliel stared at the packed bag against the door and dropped her arms to her side. She hung her head and paced in circles around the small room she had occupied since she had come to Orlondir a summer and a half ago. The Samhain Festival had just ended, and it was beautiful. Luenelle and Pux hadn’t come to visit her this time, but that didn’t matter. She had spent most of her time tucked away in the cave under the falls, waiting for trespassers and attempting not to giggle too loud to scare them away. The waterfall wasn’t a secret anymore to the kinfolk in Evennses, even the sisters in Araraema seemed to know about it.

  She glanced in the mirror and touched the bags under her eyes. Her limbs were weak, her stomach barely full of food, and her heart heavy. Of everything she had been afraid of becoming, a Flame was something she never expected. And the thought of Lotesse and the shadowy figure made her shake. She tried to avoid dreaming. Not only had she seen Lotesse, but there was Tiki, and that was something she couldn’t begin to comprehend.

  Atara was so cryptic with her answers. The Flames were the jewels of the universe—what did that mean? She felt more like a girl, a girl in love that was awkward and clumsy. What was out there that threatened to take it all away? She pulled her arms around her torso as a thick, sickening feeling crept into her gut. She wanted the fear to subside, but with Shimma’s words and the ordeal pressing against her, it was hard not to melt into the floor.

  There was a soft knock and her eyes moved to the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone until tomorrow morni
ng when Istar was to take her to The Kiirar. She didn’t even know where he lived, but it wasn’t in Evennses. Why couldn’t she go to Desaunius? Her childhood elder was versed in the language of herbs and remedies. Kaliel was obviously beyond the helpful scope of teas and tonics. Atara had taught her meditation and second sight, but she was nowhere near reaching her potential in any of her studies.

  Another soft knock pulled her out of her stupor. She delicately moved to the door, wincing at the stiffness of her muscles. There was pensive breathing on the other side and her heart quickened. She hadn’t left the room for days, but Krishani was faithful with his visits. She opened the door, his back to it, his face tilted to the roof.

  “Krishani?” Kaliel whispered, keeping her voice low.

  His eyes fell on her and his expression warmed. He pulled his hands out from behind his back and plopped a rock into her palm. He said nothing as she backed away from the door and he came into the room, shutting the door behind him.

  “What’s this?” she asked.

  His eyes lit up. “I brought it from the cave.”

  “Oh,” she breathed, turning over the plain gray rock in her hands. It was nothing special, but to her it meant memories, something sentimental. In her life she had acquired very little. The birthstone from Evenness was probably the most amazing thing she owned.

  She glanced at the bags against the wall and tucked the stone into the hole at the top. There were also tinctures, herb sachets and the birthstone tucked into the bag, things that would make the time pass quickly.

  “So I can keep you near me.” She smiled as Krishani shuffled back and forth. She knew he was trying so hard to contain himself. Her room was one of those places the maidens checked often, and she hated that he had to behave himself.

  “I don’t agree with Istar,” he began, his eyes scanning the floor.

  She knew if he looked at her it would be too hard to resist. There was a bed, it was soft; she tried not to think about it. She grimaced. “I think I have to go.” It wasn’t only Istar’s judgment; it was the death of Lotesse, and the revelation she was a Flame pressing against her temples.

  Krishani’s eyes met hers. “I can’t bear to see you this way. I wish he would reconsider.”

  She crossed her arms and paced towards the edge of the bed. She sat and closed her eyes. Standing made her chest heavy. “And what about when it happens again?”

  Krishani groaned. She wanted to ignore the possibility of the Valtanyana. There was nothing in the lands that would endeavor to take her away from him. Lotesse had to be an accident. He moved towards her, stopping a foot away, making heat race through her limbs. “I want to be there when it happens again.”

  She reached for him, sliding her hand into his. “Stop blaming yourself.”

  “I should have been here.”

  “You came.”

  “I was late, the damage was done.”

  “It would have happened regardless.”

  “Not if you had been at the waterfall with me.”

  Kaliel ripped her hand out of his and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “And then a Flame would be dead, and I wouldn’t know what I am, and I wouldn’t know something is coming for me, or anything else for that matter.”

  Krishani closed his eyes. Clearly he didn’t want to fight with her.

  She didn’t want to fight either. She was all too aware that the frequencies of his nightmares were increasing. He avoided them by being with her. She was afraid how bad they would become when she was in some unknown place far from him. She stood, wrapped her arms around him, knowing he feared for her. “Why is everything so difficult?”

  He closed his eyes and ran his hands through her hair. “I wish you could stay.” He kissed her hair and tightened his arms around her. “Promise me you’ll be careful.”

  “I should be safe in Avristar. Atara told me there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  “Except for nightmares.”

  “Aye,” she whispered, not wanting to admit the nightmares were as bad as the possibility of an attack.

  Krishani pulled away and cupped her face in his hands. He stared deep into her green eyes, leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

  “This and nothing else,” he whispered as he released her and turned to the door.

  “Wait.”

  He turned; his eyes full of sorrow.

  “Will you stay?”

  Krishani frowned. “Won’t they check on you?”

  She glanced at the trap door. “Can you be quick?”

  He moved closer. “I can try.”

  She took his hand in hers, running her fingers along his palm. “I don’t want to have more nightmares tonight.”

  Krishani dropped his head and moved towards her, almost like he was a dead weight. She hated seeing him like this, the pale flickers of candlelight washing over his sullen features, outlining the angle of his jaw and tapering off into shadows in the crook of his neck.

  She didn’t say anything as his hands circled her waist, gripping her ivory dress firmly and pushing her onto the bed. She had been with him long enough to know instinctively what he wanted and yet, this was different. This was her bedroom in the castle, not the cave behind the falls. Without the cover of the falls and the coarse grass poking into her back she felt comfortable and nervous.

  Krishani stood over her thoughtfully and she raised her face to study his contemplating eyes, one blue and one green. It was like he wasn’t sure what to do with her next. She gulped as she waited for him to do what he had done so many times before, arching her neck towards him, meaning to wrap herself around him, but he took a step away from the bed, his fingers still locked in hers.

  She gave him a puzzled look and he shook his head. “You’re sure they won’t come back?” He stole a glance at the closed door.

  Kaliel sighed, and looked at the trap door. It was no secret this would be their last night together for awhile, until she had her abilities under control, until they knew what was hunting her, until she could protect the Flames the way Lotesse had told her to. She bit her lip and Krishani reached up and brushed his thumb across her cheek.

  “We could hide in the tower,” she said, her eyes finding the string that dangled from the ceiling. Krishani lifted the corner of his lips and before she knew it she was on her feet and he was pulling down the creaky stairs. He let her go first and she brushed past him, climbing the capricious rungs to the dank wooden floor.

  She stood and reached towards the curvature of the turret just above her head. There was the faint slit of a window in the rock, moonlight filtering through it, casting a rectangular shape on the floor. She almost moved to the other side of the tower when hands found her waist and fingers locked together and she felt weightless as Krishani pulled her against him. Her stomach was filled with throngs of butterflies as he dropped his lips to her elongated ear and instead of saying anything he moved further south to the baby soft skin below her jaw. She gulped and tried to hold back the urges racing through her, she wanted him, she always wanted him in a way that was irrational and irresponsible. She closed her eyes as he rocked back and forth like they were dancing. Her hands covered his as he dropped them lower, one hand trailing to the fabric against her thigh, the other hovering somewhere above her naval. She took a sharp breath and Krishani stiffened, his lips moving from her shoulder to her ear.

  “Do you want me to stop?” he whispered and she felt faint as he pressed himself against her harder. She curled her fingers against his hand, the one on her thigh. She wanted to drink him in like he was the crystal clear waters of the lake and drown in him like she had forgotten what it was like to breathe. She didn’t have to say anything as his hand flowed in sync with hers, hitching up the hem of her dress and pressing his warm skin against her bare thigh. He pressed his other hand to her stomach harder and she felt heat spread through her.

  “Don’t move,” he whispered. His forehead rested against her shoulder, his breathing ragged as she guid
ed his hand between her legs. He slipped a finger inside her and she moaned, ecstasy trilling through her. Even in the cave he hadn’t ventured to touch her like that, but desperation to escape her nightmares and his came to a climax. She belonged to him, and wasn’t afraid of the things he wanted to do her.

  * * *

  23-The Kiirar

  A falcon cawed high above the spruce and redwoods that stretched across Nandaro. Kaliel glanced at the sky; she stood next to Paladin. In her peripheral, Istar took the bags off the horse drawn cart. She heaved a sigh and glanced around. There was a creek darting around The Kiirar’s cabin, which was situated on a mound.

  “Ahdunie!” The Kiirar called from somewhere. He spoke in the traditional Avristar tongue, though that word—“Ahdunie”—was from an ancient dialect.

  Kaliel peered past the horse towards the voice, the lorekeeper approaching from the barn. He wore a long gray robe, and sported shoulder-length grayish white hair. He had blue eyes. She was nervous; he looked strong and wise. More than anything, she was embarrassed she had to be there in the first place. She was old enough to control her abilities; being sent to the Kiirar was like hearing Desaunius’s shameful tone telling her she didn’t retain what she was taught. She turned to Istar.

  “Greetings.” Istar waved as Mallorn crossed the creek.

  “You must be Kaliel.”

  “Aye,” Istar said. He shot her a stern look, but she was more interested in the mud.

  “I am Mallorn,” the Kiirar tried. He extended his hand to her, but she kept her eyes downcast in the mud, twisting her toe into it. He pulled his hand back and rubbed it on his robes.

  Kaliel thought being taught combat skills was useless; she would fall apart in a strong wind, let alone in battle. Mallorn glared at her, sizing her up, and she saw in his eyes he wasn’t planning on wasting his time. He started back up the mound to the cabin.

  Kaliel glanced at Istar’s hard stare. “Please,” she began; her voice cracking. She had no idea how to address such an ancient being. Desaunius forgave all her misgivings because she was only a child, but seventeen summers had passed and she would have to show her respect to Mallorn. She hoped her abilities would stop hurting soon and the enemies would be stopped so she could go home. Istar headed back to the cart.