She shrugged. “I’m not mad. I know you can’t help it.” She smiled cheekily.
I giggled. “The curse of being so receptive, huh?”
“Yep.” Sara’s gaze alighted on the bandage on my thigh. Her eyebrows knit together. “What happened?”
I tried to pull my shorts over it, but it was no use. “They took a biopsy. It occurred to me this morning that if I’m viron-free, I can leave the Sanctum.”
Her face fell. “You’re leaving us?”
“Only if my samples come back clean and only so I can fight the new law.” I waved at the massive walls. “In here, my hands are tied. I can’t do anything.”
“Is that why you were anxious? Because you were in the Experimental Room?”
I sighed. Heat flushed my cheeks. “Yes. Stupid, isn’t it?”
“Are you kidding me? The first time I went back there, I was fifteen. Even though Kyle was really nice and stayed in the watch room the entire time, I was scared out of my mind. I hated it, every minute of it.” She looked away. “I still do.”
“I understand that now.”
She met my gaze, her blue eyes as bright as her skin. “It’s kinda like you’re one of us now. I mean, you’ve always felt like one of us, but now it’s like you really are. You live back here. They take samples from you. You’re infected – well, kind of.” She cocked her head. “Is it weird?”
I pictured my cell, Davin, the Kazzies who had become better friends to me than anyone in my life. I felt even closer to them than Amy, and I counted her as a good friend.
“Yeah, it is. I never appreciated how horrible it is in here.”
Sara cocked her head. “So if your samples are clean, when are you leaving?”
“Hopefully soon.”
WHEN I RETURNED to my cell it was early afternoon. I knew Davin would be looking for me. Sure enough, he was in my cell.
“He let you in?” I mused, nodding toward Private Rodriguez.
Davin grinned wickedly. “I think he’s scared of me.”
I smothered a smile. “How was your meeting with Dr. Fisher?”
Davin’s grin vanished. “Fine.”
My stomach flipped. I studied Davin’s profile while he looked down, fiddling with something on his shirt. The straight nose, high cheekbones, and long eyelashes. He was striking.
“And…?” I prompted gently.
“And what?”
“What did he say? Are they sure you’re okay?” An image of him in that catatonic state popped into my mind. He’d seemed fine since that incident, but the thought of something actually being wrong with him…
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He inched closer. “You look good, like your old self.” I knew he was changing the subject, but I let him. He obviously didn’t want to talk about whatever he and Dr. Fisher had discovered.
I’ll leave it alone. For now.
As his gaze traveled down my length, his expression darkened. He lifted my arm, his eyes glued to my elbow. I’d forgotten to take off the bandage where they’d drawn blood. His brow furrowed as his eyes raked the rest of me. When his gaze alighted on the bandage on my thigh, his jaw tightened.
“What did they do to you?” Anger dripped in every syllable.
“Nothing.” I pulled my arm back. “I went to the Experimental Room this morning so they could draw blood and do a biopsy. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“They cut into you?”
“A little.”
Davin’s gaze whipped toward Private Rodriguez. The young guard swallowed. I hadn’t realized the guard was watching us. “Did you know about this?”
Apparently, the speakers were on and Private Rodriguez had been eavesdropping because he stammered, “Ah… um… I had nothing to do with it.”
I sighed and grabbed Davin by the arm. “Davin, stop. I requested this. It’s the only way I can leave the Sanctum.”
“Leave the Sanctum?”
I sighed and pulled him toward the back panel door. I tried to ignore the feel of his forearm muscles bunching beneath my fingers or how his breath sucked in when I touched him.
“Come on. We’re leaving.” I glanced over my shoulder at Private Rodriguez. “Has anyone from my group or the Director stopped by?”
“No.”
“Are you able to find me in the entertainment rooms, if they do?”
“I think so.”
“Ask Sergeant Rose if you can’t figure it out. It’s imperative I know when my samples have been processed. Would you please open the back door?”
Private Rodriguez nodded emphatically and pushed a button. The door slid open immediately. At least, he’s finally figuring out the control panel.
I pulled Davin out of the cell. He resisted, but I still got him moving.
“He’s always got that speaker on, you know that?” Davin seethed when the door closed behind us. We stood in the back hallway. “He eavesdrops on everything we say.”
“I know. I’ll talk to him about it.”
“Sergeant Rose would never do that. At least he has the decency to–”
“Davin, stop. It’s fine. I’ll talk to him.”
Anger strummed from him in dark waves, like a fierce storm at sea. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, looking remarkably similar to how I probably looked when I practiced my deep breathing.
I stood quietly. After a minute, I asked, “Are you okay?”
He took another deep breath before opening his eyes. “Yeah, sorry… it’s just… seeing that they cut you… and then hearing that you may…” He looked at his feet, his brow furrowed.
I grabbed his hand. “Let’s go to the track. Do you want to run? I need to burn off some energy.”
“You really feel up to exercising? Even though you’ve been so sick?”
I pictured Davin, the Kazzies, my friends on a reservation – trapped, imprisoned forever. And then I thought about how I was trapped in here, unable to do anything about it. My life was out of my control.
“Yes, I need to run.”
I BEGAN RUNNING after Jeremy died. Running was what I needed when things in my life became too overwhelming or too chaotic. Right now, that was how it felt. Something may be medically wrong with Davin, yet he wouldn’t tell me about it. I was stuck in the Sanctum and despite now feeling fine, I couldn’t leave. And on the outside, plans were being made to imprison my friends in a new location.
I couldn’t let that happen.
My feet pounded against the track as I ran lap after lap. The canvas shoes weren’t ideal. My shins hurt from the impact, but I didn’t stop.
Davin kept in stride at my side. I’d never run with anybody before. He easily kept up and never breathed heavily or seemed fatigued. A few times, I caught him watching me as my ponytail whipped around my face.
“What?” I finally asked when we stopped. I breathed heavily. Sweat poured from my face. I walked in circles around him to cool down.
He raised his hands in surrender. “What what?”
“You keep looking at me.” I lifted a hand to my face. Oh, no… do I have food on my cheek or something in my teeth?
“I’m just… surprised. You’re in really good shape.”
His dark hair which curled at the ends brushed his ears. He didn’t seem the least bit winded or tired. Only a light sheen of sweat covered his brow. He stood watching me, his hands on his hips, his shirt accentuating his chiseled chest.
It was obvious my vigorous run had felt like a Sunday afternoon stroll to him. I walked another circle around him as my heart rate slowed.
“I’ve been running since Jeremy died.”
He nodded knowingly still watching my every move. “Right. That’s good. That’s a healthy way to deal with it.”
Planting myself in front of him, I studied him. His beautiful blue gaze traveled across my face. I felt it again. That energy that strummed between us. It was like we both wanted the other to be okay. To be happy. Yet, that happiness was never a life in which we were together.
&
nbsp; It can never be.
Taking a deep breath, I again remembered him in that catatonic state.
In a quiet voice, I asked, “So what were the results of those additional tests Dr. Fisher wanted to run?”
I knew I was pushing him to tell me, but seeing him standing there, strong and unyielding… I needed him to stay that way. The thought of something happening to him terrified me.
Davin’s finger tapped against his hip. He shrugged. “They’re fine.”
“So all of your tests turned out normal?”
“Yeah.”
“Then what happened?” I practically screeched.
His gaze, once again, wouldn’t meet mine. His finger still tapped his hip. “Should we head back?”
I sighed and could feel my brow furrowing. He doesn’t want me to know. Whatever the cause of him being in that state, he doesn’t want me to know why.
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I said, “Davin, do you promise to tell me if you’re ever sick? Or if something’s actually wrong? Will you please not keep me in the dark?”
His finger stopped, but he looked away again and cleared his throat. “Yes, if something’s actually wrong with me, I’ll tell you. Can you drop it now? I’m fine, seriously, I am.”
I knew he wasn’t telling me everything, but I also knew whatever he and Dr. Fisher discussed wasn’t really my business. Dr. Fisher was right. It was Davin’s personal health information. There was no reason I needed to know about it if it didn’t affect the virus that inhabited his body.
I still hated not knowing.
“Dr. Forester?” a voice boomed in the field.
I jumped.
Davin chuckled. “You did ask him to call you.” He glanced upward until he found the camera. “Yes, Private Rodriguez?”
“The Director is here to see Meghan. He’d like her to return to her cell. The results from her tests are back.”
14 – SAMPLES
Davin and I hurried to my cell. I was still a sweaty mess and my anxiety over what was to come only made it worse.
If the results showed that Makanza still inhabited my body, I wouldn’t be able to leave the Sanctum. Possibly ever. Because if the virus was still active inside me, it meant I was now a Kazzie, even though I’d never Changed. That hadn’t happened to anyone exposed, so I knew I was being irrational.
Still…
If for some reason that had happened, I’d be able to infect others. According to the new law passed over the weekend, I’d be moved to the reservation like the rest of the Kazzies. And worse, I knew it would be the end of my friends ever being free since it meant the vaccine wasn’t as effective as we claimed it to be. Cate and I had vehemently denied the government’s concerns that someone could carry Makanza after being vaccinated. I hoped we were still right.
I shuddered, not because I abhorred the idea of living with the Kazzies or being labeled as one, but at knowing that I’d never be able to help them again.
My palms were clammy when the back door slid open to my cell. Davin and I strode in.
Dr. Sadowsky waited. He wore a navy blue suit, a crisp white shirt, and a red patterned tie. He stood in the watch room. My lab group flanked his sides. Amy waved when she saw me.
I hurried to the window.
“Well? What are the results? Am I still infected?”
“Whoa, Forester.” Mitch chuckled. He wore jeans and a typical comedic t-shirt. I’d be unstoppable if not for law enforcement and physics. “It’s nice to see you too.”
Davin tensed.
“Sorry. I’m a little edgy.” I wrung my hands. “I’m sure you can guess why.”
Amy’s red curls were in a high ponytail today. She leaned over the microphone. “You’re in the clear. No active virons were detected in any of your samples.”
Private Rodriguez smiled. “So that must mean she’ll get outta here soon, huh?”
“Something like that.” Amy drummed her fingers against the control panel.
Dr. Sadowsky put his hands on his hips. “I’d like to run one more set of tests, just to make sure.”
I swallowed. That means I’m going back to the Experimental Room. “Okay.”
“By the way, I didn’t forget about your phone,” Amy said. “It’ll be installed this afternoon when they’re getting those samples. Although, I’m not sure if you’ll need it. You could be out of here by tomorrow.”
Which means I can go to D.C. soon. “Good, thanks. How about we get those samples taken?”
I RETURNED TO the Experimental Room after my lab group departed from the watch room. I clenched my hands tightly during the walk there.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” Davin strode beside me. Every day I realized more and more how big he was. I barely came to the tip of his shoulder.
“No. I can do this.”
“You’re sweating, Meg. And you’re so tense I could see it a mile away.”
I tried to relax, I truly did, but the thought of those spidery machines cutting into me again made panic flutter in my chest.
How am I going to face D.C. again if I can’t handle the Experimental Room on my own?
I gritted my teeth. “I can do it by myself. I’ll be okay.”
Davin pulled me to a halt. His intense blue eyes searched my face. “We’re all scared in there. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
My shoulders relaxed under his gentle words. “Really?”
“Yeah, so don’t beat yourself up.”
Despite me telling Davin I’d be fine, he insisted on standing by my side while they took additional samples. I could tell Davin’s presence made the technicians nervous. Baron and Wendy were at the controls this afternoon. Both seemed uneasy when Davin positioned himself against the wall. He didn’t interfere, and he didn’t hover, but his presence was like a menacing cloud on the horizon. I knew at any minute, a storm could be unleashed.
They took more blood this time, as well as saliva and another biopsy. Both technicians smiled apologetically when the robots cut into me. That made me feel a little better. At least they felt something about what they were doing.
Two incisions now marred my thighs. I knew I’d have scars from both. It was still nothing compared to Davin’s scars. And even though I wasn’t a vain person, I still grumbled when we walked back to my cell. It seemed like overkill to take samples again, but that was the MRI for you.
When we reached my door, neither of us hit the button to let Private Rodriguez know I’d returned. Instead, we turned and faced one another.
Tilting my head back, I smiled sadly. “I could be leaving soon.”
He nodded silently.
“It may be weeks before I return.”
He took a deep breath and hung his head. “I know. It’ll be…” He cleared his throat. “It won’t be the same without seeing you every day.”
I swallowed thickly. “I’ll still call.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Well, I suppose I’ll head back to my cell. I know you have a lot to do.” When he dropped his hand, it brushed against my arm. For the briefest moment, his fingers enclosed around mine. He squeezed. “I’ll see you later today.”
His touch sent tingles to my toes, yet it made my heart feel heavy when I punched in my MRI code to enter my cell. Forever, Davin would be in here or trapped on the reservation. Despite my exposure, our lives were still separate.
I knew I needed to talk to Dr. Hutchinson about my wishes to return to the nation’s capital. We had so much to plan, but Davin’s words haunted me.
It can never be.
It felt like those words would haunt me forever.
A new phone greeted me when I reached my bedside. Seeing it helped kick me back into action.
I sat on the edge of my bed and addressed the young guard. “Do you want to grab a coffee? I’d like to make a call in private.”
“Oh, sure.” Private Rodriguez stood hastily and retreated.
When I was sure he couldn’t
hear me, I picked up the phone, dialing one of the only numbers I ever called. Dr. Hutchinson was next on the list, but first I needed to talk to someone else.
“Hello?” Sharon said.
“Hi, Sharon?”
“Meghan? Is that you?” Her voice sounded hopeful.
“Yes, it’s me.”
She sighed. “I’ve been worried about you. Davin told me what happened.”
I knew her son would have informed her of my exposure and illness. It was the only reason I hadn’t stressed too much about calling her before today. Funny how I’d never once thought of contacting my own parents since becoming sick. Come to think of it, they probably had no idea I’d been exposed or what I’d gone through over the past week. Normally, we didn’t speak more than once a month. I bit my lip, feeling a little guilty that my first call to the outside had been to Davin’s mother and not my own.
“I figured Davin would keep you informed,” I said.
“He has. But you’re okay now, right?”
“Yes. I’m fine.”
“How much longer do you need to stay in there?”
“Probably another day maybe two.” It was funny how that statement created conflicting feelings within me. A part of me was anxious to leave and fight for the Kazzies while the other part ached at not seeing Davin every day.
“Would you like me to visit this weekend?”
I smiled. Sharon was willing to drive to Sioux Falls to see me. She’d never done that before which only confirmed how much I meant to her.
“I wish you could, but if I have any say in it, I’ll be in Washington D.C.”
“About the reservation?”
“Yeah, I’m going to fight it tooth and nail. There’s no reason they need to stay confined.”
Her voice grew quiet. “All of my babies, except for Davin, died on that reservation. And they’re going to make him live there. He’ll be reminded of it every day.”
My mouth went dry. “You’re right. I hadn’t thought of that.” I gripped the phone tighter. “I’m going to do everything I can to make Davin and all of the Kazzies free. Nobody should have to live like they do.”
“Thank you, Meghan. I hope you can.”
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