by Bella Andre
“Yeah, buddy, dinner time. Let’s get washed up.”
Noah grumbled with every kid’s instinct—no leaving the playground, no washing up. Matt used the distraction to regain his control, something he found increasingly difficult to do around Ari. Even with something as harmless as jumping on a backyard trampoline.
Noah grabbed their hands and swung himself like a monkey in a tree, laughing as they walked him into the house. And it felt right—so damned right, the three of them like that.
When Noah ran off to wash his hands, Matt gave Ari the news he’d received just before his son had dragged him into the backyard. “I just heard from Rafe, my PI. They’ve located a former member of your brother’s squad down in San Luis Obispo. His name is Zach Smith. We should go see him together. I’ll tell you more after Noah’s in bed.”
Ari reached out, then squeezed her fist tight before she actually touched him. He knew she expressed herself through touch, through comfort, a hug, a kiss. Lord, how he wanted that touch. That kiss. Wanted it so damned bad.
“Thank you so much. For finding someone who knew my brother—and for offering to take me to see him. But I know how busy you are with work right now.”
“Don’t worry about my work.” He covered her hand with his. He’d take any excuse to touch her. Sure, he was in the middle of the new product release, but nothing was more important than finding Ari’s brother and repaying her for everything she did for Noah.
And for him.
* * *
Ari didn’t want to rush story time, but she couldn’t stand the suspense. She needed to know every detail of what Matt had learned about Gideon. After Noah was asleep, Matt lit the fire pit on the back deck and gave her a warmed brandy.
She’d never known such decadence before she’d met him, but then, she’d never known a man like Matt.
Their feet perched on the edge of the pit, they sat beneath a cloudless sky filled with a million stars. The fire was warm against her soles, but it was Matt so close beside her that truly heated her from the inside out.
“It’s not a pretty story,” he finally said, “which was why I didn’t get into it in front of Noah. Shortly before your brother got out of the Army, three of the members of his unit were killed by an IED.”
Her stomach clenched. She read the news on the Internet, and she’d seen plenty of movies. An IED was a homemade bomb. “Was Gideon hurt?”
“No. But the guys in his squad were.”
The brandy burned as it went down, especially after the chill of learning about the bomb. The worst was possible when it came to war zones, but still, she’d always prayed Gideon was alive—and uninjured.
“I’m hoping the guy in San Luis Obispo can shed some light on where your brother went after he got out.”
She wanted to curl her fingers around Matt’s…for as many reasons as there were stars in the sky. “Thank you. You don’t have to take me down there, but I really appreciate not having to ask him these questions on my own.”
“It might not be easy. And I want to be there for you, Ari.” His words hung between them for endless moments, his expression intense. “Since I’ve been away for a few days, I’d like to spend the weekend with Noah, then take care of some critical issues for the new product release, and go down on Wednesday, if that’s all right with you. Will’s agreed to have his housekeeper, Mrs. Taylor, look after Noah, and Doreen can still drive him to school.”
Matt had already arranged everything. All the Mavericks banded together when anyone needed something. Even when she needed something. Again, she felt almost like family. “Wednesday is perfect.”
“Good.” He was still looking at her, so intently that her skin tingled—all of her tingled. “I’ve booked a couple of rooms at Walter Braedon’s Regent Hotel in San Luis.”
She didn’t know much about the Regent chain of hotels beyond the pictures she’d seen of them online. They were virtual palaces. And probably cost as much.
“That’s too fancy.” She’d noticed he was careful to say he’d booked two rooms, reminding her they wouldn’t be sleeping together. “I already owe you so much—”
“You don’t owe me anything, Ari. I’m the one who owes you for making my son so happy since you came here. Besides, I’ve gotten used to five-star accommodations.” He gave her a small smile that made her heart beat even faster. “So you’ll just have to live with it.”
“I don’t know how to thank you.” He’d done so much for her in such a short space of time. It was almost over the top.
“Stay.” His eyes held hers. “Just promise you’ll stay with us, Ari.” He cleared his throat. “Noah has gotten very attached to you. I can’t think how heartbroken he’d be if you left now.”
She didn’t want to be careful. She wanted to be fearless. But for now, she simply nodded and made herself smile. “Of course I’ll stay for as long as Noah needs me.”
And then one day, maybe, Matt would finally realize he needed her too.
Chapter Seventeen
Zach Smith’s house was in a middle-class neighborhood with white picket fences and a bus shelter on the corner that was decorated with a yellow school bus. The lawn was immaculately cut, its hedge trimmed, and the front walk was strewn with toys—a pint-size baseball mitt, a Big Wheel tricycle, a bat. From the backyard, Ari heard shrieks of laughter.
Evidently, he worked nights and his wife worked days so that someone was always with the kids. Matt had made the appointment with him and, thankfully, Zach had seemed more than willing to talk.
As soon as Ari and Matt stepped up to the front door, a stocky, heavily muscled guy with a military haircut opened it. “Glad you’re here. I’ve got the coffee on.”
The interior of the house was as neat and tidy as the outside. Except for the toys. Ari stuck out her hand. “Thanks so much for talking with us.”
Zach shook hands with them both. “Gideon and me, we were like this.” He twined his fingers. “He told me all about you, Ariana.”
Ari could barely stop tears from springing to her eyes. Zach couldn’t know how much his words meant to her. And Matt couldn’t know how grateful she was that he’d found Zach and had come with her today.
She’d held on to the belief that her brother hadn’t forgotten her. That faith kept her going through the darkest hours. Finding him would be like the light finally showing at the end of a long tunnel she’d been traveling through for so long.
“Come on in and sit, you two.” Though not tall, Zach was a big man, about her brother’s age, with expansive gestures. He waved them over to the couch, where he’d set out coffee, mugs, creamer, and sugar on the coffee table. The backyard view out the sliding glass door was of the kids, two boys and a girl, all under the age of ten.
“They just got out of school.” Zach wore an adoring-dad look, with a broad smile and laughing eyes. Whatever he’d gone through during his tours of duty, Ari was glad to see he hadn’t brought it home with him.
“Man, your brother was a kick,” he told her. “Huge prankster. You wanted to forget about it all for a while, you hung out with Jones.” Smiling with the memory, he shoved mugs at them while he sat in the side chair that gave him a sight line to the backyard. “But he had another side to him he didn’t show most guys. And it really broke him up when he couldn’t find you or your ma. He wrote letters and sent emails, but it’s hard when you’re over there, ya know.”
“My mom and I had to leave the apartment we were in.” Ari didn’t say they’d been kicked out, didn’t mention that drugs had torn them all apart. She felt the subtle shift of Matt’s body beside her, as if he were moving closer, wanting her to know she had his support.
“He figured that. And later he got a letter saying she’d passed.” He shook his head. “It was six months after, and he started writing letters like crazy, even more than he’d written before.” Zach shook his head. “But no one could tell him who to contact about what happened to you.”
Gideon had looked for her. She k
new he wouldn’t give up—just like she would never give up her search for him.
“Thank you for telling me that. It really means a lot to know he tried so hard to find us.” Matt’s hand covered hers, and he squeezed it in solidarity as she said, “To find me.”
“Do you have any idea where he is now?” Matt asked.
“We lost touch. It happens like that when you get stateside.” Zach rubbed both hands along his thighs, his gaze down as if he were seeing things he’d long ago put out of his mind. Then he breathed deeply, let it go with a sigh, and his smile returned. “I was Smith. He was Jones. They called us Alias Smith and Jones, like that old Western TV show. You couldn’t have one without the other. It’s like they say in the movies, band of brothers and all that. Because all you’ve got is each other.”
“I know what that’s like,” she confided. “I have a really close bond with my friends from foster care.”
“I can see the similarity,” he said with a nod. “We thought it’d be a cakewalk, ya know. Do your time, collect your paycheck.” He snorted at his own naiveté. “But then there was 9/11 and everything changed. Me and Gideon were attached to the same squad. We got bumped up to team leaders. We didn’t think about getting out, because we were doing important stuff over there.” He puffed out a breath. “We re-upped,” he said, then clarified with, “Reenlisted,” though Ari already knew what he meant. He gazed at her with a deep sadness in his eyes. “Kiddo, if he’d known about your ma, he woulda come home, but he got that letter a few months too late.”
Kiddo. That’s what Gideon had always called her. Hearing Zach say it brought tears welling up again.
“I know he would have come home for me. I’m just not sure he would have found me.” After all, she’d been searching for three years and gotten nowhere. “The only thing I know is that he got out about nine years ago.”
Zach nodded. “We both did. It was a fu—” He cut himself off. “Sorry, kiddo.” He gave her a sheepish grin. “My wife gets on my case about the language ’cause of the kids. Anyway, it was a mess over there.”
“And there was something about Gideon losing some guys?” After nine years of a total black hole of information about her brother, she had to know everything.
“IED. Lost his team. Three of his people. Damn near broke him in two. It wasn’t his fault, but I’d’a felt the same if it were my guys. That’s what got him in the end. The guilt, ya know.”
“And what about you? Why did you leave?”
He swore softly, then just as quickly added, “Sorry. But hell, we couldn’t have Alias Smith all by himself. It was Alias Smith and Jones or nothing.” He drifted deep inside himself again. “It was time, ya know. The longer you’re there, the higher the risk. I figured, without Gideon, my number just might be up.”
“When did you last see him?” Matt’s voice was low.
“I only saw him once after we got stateside.”
Outside, children laughed. The sun was still shining. Yet inside, Ari felt as though darkness had fallen.
“He just vanished?” she asked.
“He didn’t want to see me.” Zach’s expression was tight, but not with anger. With understanding. “I made him remember. And remembering tore him up.”
For a moment, her hopes plummeted. Zach had said in the beginning that they’d lost touch, but it went deeper than that. And she’d been so hopeful there’d be more clues to follow after they talked with him.
“What did Gideon say the last time you saw him?” she asked, absolutely refusing to give up now. She’d made it this far—surely Zach had to know more than he thought he did. “Was there any indication where he thought he’d go?”
Zach sighed deeply, sadly. “He wanted to see the families. Of his team. Like he had to explain what happened or something. Like he needed to shoulder the blame and let them take it out on him. Even though he already took it out on himself plenty.”
Her heart contracted for her brother, made it hard for her to remember her other questions.
“I’m sure we can find the names,” Matt stepped in to say. “But if you remember any of them, that would be a huge help.”
“Sure, I remember. Gideon used to say their names like he was praying over their souls. Ralph Esterhausen. He had a wife and a couple of kids. Then there was Jonny Danzi and Hank Garrett.” He pressed his lips together, drawing in a deep breath. “And Karmen Sanchez.”
“Karmen?” Ari asked. “That’s four. I thought there were three.”
“Yeah. He had a thing for her. I could see it. She was on base with us, but she wasn’t actually part of his team. She was a combat medic. We always had a medic with us when we were outside the wire.” He glanced at Ari. “On a mission, I mean. Sniper got her when she ran to help the guys.” He drummed his fingers on his knees for a couple of seconds, then finally said, “I told him not to go see the families. I knew it’d be bad. But he wouldn’t listen to me.” After another great sigh, he added, “I wouldn’t say we fought about it, but he didn’t like what I had to say. I just didn’t think he should do that to himself. Let sleeping dogs lie and all.” He leaned back in the chair. “That’s all, kiddo. I wish I could tell you more, but I hope you find him. He’d wanna know you forgive him for leaving you with your mom.”
“Forgive him?” Ari shook her head. “I never needed to forgive him for that.”
“That’s just the kinda guy he is. Always responsible for everyone else. That’s why he pulled all those pranks. ’Cause he didn’t want people to think too hard about where they were and what their families were doing without them.”
* * *
They left Zach Smith when his wife got home. Matt had found him to be a really good guy. It was obviously difficult to revisit his painful past, but he’d given them everything he could, even if it wasn’t nearly enough.
After they’d said their thanks, Zach had wrapped Ari in a bear hug on the sidewalk, telling her it was from Gideon. She’d cried, but her tears hadn’t all been sad this time. In addition to soaking up Zach’s stories about her brother, she glowed with renewed hope.
“We’ll find the families of the servicemen and see if they know anything more. I’m sorry we didn’t learn where your brother is.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she said softly. “It was so good to hear about him after so many years of knowing nothing at all. Hopefully, one of the people Zach told us about will know where Gideon is.” She curled into her corner of the car as they headed out to the freeway and to the Regent Hotel, clearly exhausted by the day’s revelations.
When they checked in to their adjoining—but separate—rooms a short while later, they found a huge fruit platter loaded with chocolate and champagne, along with sweet-smelling bath products in a gift basket. The digs were sumptuous, as was everything in any of Walter Braedon’s hotels. The manager had tripped all over himself to make sure they were comfortable, and Matt had reserved the best table in the restaurant for dinner.
Ari looked as though she hadn’t been sleeping well, and Matt wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her everything would be okay. That he’d make absolutely sure of it.
Instead, he said, “It’s been a tiring day. You must be overwhelmed.” Gideon wasn’t even his brother, and Matt had still been swept into the high emotions between Ari and Zach as they spoke of him. “Maybe you should relax in the tub before dinner,” he said, pointing to the basket of bath salts.
She blinked up at him, but he couldn’t quite read her expression. Finally, she nodded. “A few minutes to decompress is a good plan.”
The little smile she gave him made his heart flip over. She had a way of turning him inside out with the smallest, sweetest things.
“This might help too.” Picking up the champagne bottle, he poured her a glass. Then she swiped a couple of strawberries and headed to the door of her adjoining room.
“Thank you,” she said before closing him out.
He’d never felt so close to happiness—and yet so far. She was
getting naked right on the other side of that door. He imagined steam rolling out, begging him to follow like a trail of breadcrumbs. It drove him crazy knowing how much she loved soaking in the tub, the sweet-smelling steam, her soft skin…
But damn it, making love to her was not why he’d brought her on this trip. Nor had he asked for adjoining rooms. The hotel staff had simply assigned them, without realizing it would drive him absolutely bonkers.
Burying himself in work was the only remedy. Not on his company or the new product launch, but on tackling the next lead that could help locate Ari’s brother. Picking up his cell, he called his PI again and put Rafe to work on the next of kin for the slain soldiers on Gideon’s team.
Ari had told him more today about the friends she made in foster care, her band of sisters, just like the Mavericks were his brothers. Being a foster kid wasn’t war, but bad things happened. It didn’t have to be physical abuse—the verbal kind was just as bad. His father had proved that time and again. And Matt saw how Evan’s wife, Whitney, could slice his friend to the bone with a few well-aimed words. At least, that seemed to be her goal, whether her aim hit the mark with Evan or not. But where Matt couldn’t find a way to help his friend with his bad marriage, at least he could help Ari.
She’d not only dealt with losing her family and ending up in the foster system, but she’d survived with a joy for life he could never have imagined from someone in her circumstances. Finding her brother would make her life complete.
If he failed her…
Damn it, he wouldn’t let himself think that way.
When his phone rang a moment later, he picked up, saying, “Hey, Will, I was just about to call and check on Noah.”
“Noah’s great. He and Harper and Jeremy are playing Chutes and Ladders right now. She’s as crazy about your kid as the rest of us. And Jeremy never wants him to leave.”
Harper was the mothering type. It wouldn’t be too long after the wedding before he’d be buying baby booties for them. Will’s childhood had been as bad as Matt’s—but he’d come a long way since then. Matt knew his friend and fellow Maverick was going to be a hell of a dad.