Shocking Heaven

by Sidebottom, D. H.

  He was silent for a moment, and then he inhaled deeply. “Your mother was the most beautiful creature I had ever met, even her laugh was beautiful and I fell in love with her instantly. We had what you call a whirlwind romance but that woman…she was determined to self-destruct and I tried everything to help her. Get her off the drugs but…well you know Eve.”

  His gaze landed on the window, his eyes glazed as though he was physically in the past and my heart clenched a little at the raw pain on his face.

  “One day we were due to meet. We used to meet in a little coffee shop and I remember her order like it was yesterday; Black coffee and cinnamon swirl, which she would cover with brown sugar out of one of those little paper packets” he chuckled, more to himself than me and I found myself smiling with him.

  He sighed heavily and his eyes darkened. “She never turned up…but Robert did.”

  I could hear the loathing in his tone when he said my Dad’s name. “Can you believe the man held a gun to my stomach underneath the little table in a small rundown café” he scoffed. “Bear in mind this was twenty years ago Eve and I was just a fucking pizza delivery guy. Nothing behind me, no money, and no education…fuck all!” he stated angrily as he gazed at me woefully.

  “To cut it short, he told me if I didn’t leave Lisa alone, he would finish me and make her pay painfully. And knowing what kind of man I was now dealing with” he shrugged and exhaled “what would you have done?”

  I didn’t answer him; I don’t think he expected me to.

  He stood from the bed and walked over to the window, staring out into the darkness with a painful expression, as though my mother was stood out there waiting for him.

  “I never saw her again.”

  “I know all this” I told him blankly, still not giving him the satisfaction of putting any emotion into my words.

  He nodded slowly then turned back to me. “I didn’t even know she was pregnant Eve. I never knew about you and Aaron until a few months ago when I was alerted to someone doing checks on me.” he disclosed as he found my eyes again.

  “My Mom only told me about you six months before she died, but she thought you were dead and…well I wanted to find your grave” I snorted loudly “No wonder I never fucking found it.”

  Pain flashed across his face and I narrowed my eyes on him. “Don’t pretend you care Gerry. You’re in this whole mess too. You wrecked my house. My home that you blew up contained the only memory I have of my dead daughter. Do you even know how that feels?” I snapped with disgust.

  “Oh God Eve…I…”

  I held up my hands to stop him. “Don’t, just don’t. Like I said, I’ll give you what you need but then you leave me alone. I want nothing more to do with you. You disgust me!”

  He nodded and exhaled wearily. “I’ll tell Sal you’ve changed your mind” he said quietly as he walked towards the door but he turned when he reached it. “I am sorry Eve. This was all higher than me. Believe it or not, they were lenient with you because of me.”

  I snorted and shook my head in revulsion as he closed the door.

  I lay down on the bed and curled up tightly, hiding myself from the whole shit that was happening. It all seemed too unbelievable and I still didn’t understand how my father could do that to me.

  What was it with my parents? Each one I’d had used me for their own tainted needs.

  I gave myself up to the peacefulness of sleep, knowing I would need every bit of energy I had tomorrow but as I drifted, the only thing I dreamed of was Monday and a plane soaring high. A plane that contained everything my heart held dear.

  Even after everything that had happened today, my heart still ached for my soul mate and I felt the tears wet the pillow before I sank deep.

  ***

  I walked into the bank the next morning with Sal’s hand pressed tight to my back and I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m not gonna do a runner. I just wanna get this over with” I hissed.

  He chuckled and brought his mouth close to my ear. “You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t trust you Eve.” He sneered and I curled my lip in disgust.

  “I’d like to view my safety deposit box please” I told the woman behind the counter.

  “Paperwork” she said methodically. I handed her the papers and my I.D before she disappeared into a room.

  A moment later a miserable man came to escort me to my box. “Just you ma’am, I’m afraid you aren’t allowed escorts in the deposit rooms” he told me and I looked at Sal.

  He nodded once and went to sit on a chair whilst I was led into a plain room.

  “Key” the guard barked at me and I jumped at his sudden voice.

  I passed him the key and he disappeared and returned with a small metal box, before he left the room to give me some privacy.

  I sighed as I unlocked the container and took the USB then removed the other item that was stored there.

  Knocking on the door, I heard it unlock and I waited until the guard had returned my box and then walked back to Sal.

  He glanced at my hand as I came through the door and I huffed. “I told you to trust me. I just wanna get this over with.”

  He nodded and I passed him the USB. “Is this the only copy?” he asked and I sighed in frustration. “Yes. I have no need for copies.”

  He nodded again and we walked outside to the waiting car. “You may go your way now Eve. I’m really glad you saw sense. I like you” Sal grinned.

  My eyebrows lifted in amazement but I handed him the item I had took from the box. “Can you give these to my father and tell him if I ever see him again, then I will use the gun I have a licence for.”

  Sal stared at me then laughed loudly before he frowned at the bundle of letters I had given him.

  “They were what my Mom wrote for him. Even though he betrayed me, he still loved my mother and I know she loved him. They belong with him, for my mother’s sake, not mine or his.”

  Sal sighed and gazed at me. “He’s a good man Eve, but he works for me” he shrugged as though that explained everything.

  I pursed my lips but nodded.

  “Do you want dropping anywhere?” he asked and I shook my head.

  “Take care Eve” he said as he passed me a business card. “If you ever need anything” he added and I laughed in astonishment but just nodded in resignation.

  “Bye Sal.”

  He smiled and winked, then clambered in his car and pulled away, leaving me staring at the rear of the car as it disappeared round the corner.

  Pulling my phone from my bag I groaned when the display said ‘Please insert SIM’.

  Thanks Jack!

  A taxi pulled into the curb in front of me and I nearly died in shock at the first bit of luck I’d had in days.

  “Oh My God, you’re Eve Hudson” the taxi driver gushed as I settled on the back seat.

  “I am” I smiled tightly.

  He frowned through the mirror at me. “You okay love?” he genuinely looked concerned and I had to fight back the tears at his sympathy.

  The last thing I needed was his story, of how Eve Hudson had sobbed buckets in his back seat, plastered all over the Sunday newspapers.

  “Just a little ill” I lied. “I’ll give you another twenty if you can get me home within fifteen minutes” I offered.

  His sly grin said it all as he pulled into the traffic, bang in front of a bus, and I shut my eyes all the way home, wondering if I’d actually make it home in one piece.

  CHAPTER 48

  I walked straight into the kitchen, pulled the vodka from the freezer and poured myself a hefty amount before downing it in one and refilling.

  Footsteps thundered on the stairs and Jax appeared in the doorway, his pale face held many emotions as his whole frame seemed to lean towards me.

  He didn’t speak, just scanned me as if checking me for missing limbs or absent ears and eyes but his face darkened when his eyes settled on my bruised cheekbone.

  I took small steps across the room to him. H
is presence pulling me in and when I reached him, I fell against him, desperate just to feel him, for him to hold me and protect me.

  He wrapped me up as I started to sob, uncontrollably and snottily, and he carried me straight up the stairs and laid us on the bed, as he let me rid my demons and take all his comfort.

  “Babe” he whispered as his nose settled in my hair. “Need to breathe you babe” he choked out and I realised then just how much this man had worried for me, his own relief at my presence was palpable as we both drew solace from each other.

  “My father’s alive” I said bluntly between hiccups.

  The hand that had been stroking my arm tenderly, stilled as my words sunk in. “Babe?”

  I tilted my face to his “My real father, not my Dad.”

  Jax continued to frown and I realised he still didn’t have a clue what I was on about, so I brought him up to date, starting from the day in hospital with my mother.

  “The fuck babe!” he breathed out when I had finished.

  I nodded slowly and sighed deeply. “Who gets parents like mine, eh?” I laughed bitterly and Jax’s embrace tightened.

  “Bastard!” he growled but I shook my head. “It’s done now Jax. Over with. They’ll leave me alone now and to be honest, I don’t really care what they do with the film. My dad’s betrayal hurts more than his death. That might be an awful thing to say but…well it’s the truth!” I admitted.

  Jax shuffled down the bed so he was level with my face and ran his finger down the bridge of my nose tenderly. “You’re hurting right now babe. You need time, and then get in touch again. He’s your Dad babe.”

  I looked at him like he had three heads. “Do you forgive your dad for taking Mary Ann’s life?” I scoffed.

  His face darkened but he sighed gently. “Not a matter of forgiveness babe. It’s done. Nothing I can do about it, but I don’t get the chance to make it right. You do!”

  I gulped at his words as a part of me agreed with him but there was still a bigger portion that would never forgive what he did.

  “You hear me babe?”

  “I hear ya’ Jax” I said softly as he leant towards me.

  “Went through hell babe.” He confessed as he swallowed deeply. “You just disappeared and I thought…I…”

  I cupped his face and he nuzzled into me. “I’m okay Jax” I whispered as I brushed my lips over his.

  The pain and anguish that covered his face tore deep and we both just needed to feel.

  He took me under his mouth in one of his exceptional kisses and I sighed deeply at the sensation of him.

  The soft structure of his lips, as they welded to mine, brought desire coursing through my veins and I moaned lightly into his mouth.

  His hand settled around my throat gently and I pulled him closer to me and ran my tongue along his bottom lip. He opened to me immediately and I wrapped my tongue around his, caressing his muscle intimately as I drove our lust to the next level.

  “Need to feel you babe” he breathed against my mouth. “Need to take you, need to own you, just need to love you babe.”

  I moaned and grabbed the hem of his shirt, desperate to get it over his head so I could feel his skin.

  He lifted slightly, allowing me to do what I needed, and as my fingers settled on his bare chest he moaned faintly.

  He shivered as I ran my fingers along his ink and then his own hands were pulling my shirt off.

  My bra went next and he flung it across the room with my shirt. “Fuck. Your tits always make me hard babe” he growled before his mouth landed on one and he sucked at the soft flesh beside my nipple as his other hand massaged my other breast tenderly.

  I moaned and arched my back, pushing myself into him as his mouth trailed over my piercing and took my other nipple. His tongue circled it relentlessly as his lips suckled and I grew heavy with need.

  “Oh God, that’s good. Bite me Jax” I whimpered. He groaned and then did as I asked, sinking his teeth gently against my hard nipple whilst his tongue soothed the ache.

  My arousal surged at the pain in the pleasure and I was soon pulling at his jeans, frantically pulling them over his hips. “Fuck me baby” I pleaded.

  “I aint gonna fuck you babe” he said as his fingers popped the button on my jeans and he drew them off my legs along with my knickers.

  I frowned at him then groaned when his nose landed on my mound. “I’m gonna take you, gonna bury myself inside you and drive you fucking wild babe.”

  Wasn’t that the same thing?

  “I’m gonna love you babe, not fuck you. I’m gonna love you so hard, that you forget to breathe. Gonna love you so deep that you feel the tip of me on your heart.” He told me as his tongue now circled my clit.

  His eyes looked up at me and he grinned wickedly when he parted my legs and rubbed the tip of his nose on my clit. “Oh God Jax, that’s good. Just there, just a bit harder…” I garbled as he flicked my sensitive nub with the flat of his tongue.

  “You hear me babe?”

  “I hear ya’ baby. Please…fucking love me” I begged as I lifted my hips, pleading with him to bring me closer.

  “Look at me E. Watch me worship you babe” he breathed and I pushed myself up on my elbows to watch him attack me.

  My eyes rolled as his tongue idolised every part of me, from my anus right up to my piercing and I jolted as his lips surrounded my clit and he sucked hard. “Oooh Yes Jax, Oh God, fuck! Baby I’m gonna….”

  I groaned deeply and at length when I came around his face hard and intensely, my whole body juddering in ecstasy as he devoured me.

  He was suddenly climbing up the bed on all fours over me but before he could enter me, I shuffled down underneath him until his magnificent cock was so gloriously resting at my face.

  I flicked at the tip of him with my tongue, lapping up the cum that had beaded on the crown of him. He groaned and looked down at me from above and I grinned happily at him.

  He chuckled and lowered his hand to my face to softly stroke my cheek, but it soon gripped my hair tightly when I completely demolished him.

  I worked him hard and fast as his breathing grew heavier and his groans grew louder and soon he was pulling away from me.

  “Need to plant myself inside you babe” he whispered as he climbed back down, depositing little soft kisses as he descended.

  We both exhaled loudly as he pushed into me. “Fuck babe! Feels so damn good” he hissed through his teeth as he started to move.

  I met each of his thrusts with expertise as he sped up and banged me furiously. Small drops of sweat adorned his brow as he laboured into me and just as I caught the edge of my orgasm, he flipped me onto my stomach and pushed my knees up so I was on all fours.

  I felt the tip of his nudge against my bottom and I gasped. “Need all of you babe” he whispered in my ear as he leant over me.

  I nodded and pushed back against him, allowing him entry as I forced myself to relax and let him in.

  We both panted as he inched in and soon the pleasure overtook the pain and I was rocking back onto him. “Harder Jax” I told him but his hand settled on the nape of my neck.

  “Not yet babe. Just feel me first.”

  Oh, I felt him alright. Very well!

  He continued to love me slowly and tenderly, his pushes and pulls gentle and soft, before his own hunger took over and he sped up until he was eventually pounding me with so much force, I was bouncing up the bed.

  Our orgasms hit together and we both screamed out in pleasure, as our bodies tightened around each other and we simultaneously shuddered violently with euphoria, both of us covered in sweat and panting hard.

  “Oh Christ babe” he breathed as his mouth kissed its way up my back till it was at my ear. “I love you Eve Hudson. Always babe, you’re with me forever.”

  I swallowed harshly at his words, digging deep to hold back the tears that wanted to surface and I turned my face to his. “And I love you Jaxon Cooper. You never left me and you never will.
I’m yours baby, lock, stock and fuckin’ barrel.”

  He rolled us over and kissed me with so much passion it took my breath and stole my soul.

  Tenderly, he swept my hair from my face and kissed my nose. “You sure you can’t come with me babe?” he asked but the expression on his face revealed he already knew my answer.

  “I can’t Jax. You know I can’t baby. God, if my life were simpler, I wouldn’t even have to think about it, I’d jump on your back and ride across the fucking desert with you Jax.”

  He nodded and sighed sadly but kissed my forehead softly in understanding. “Sunday. You and me babe. All fucking day. You don’t leave my bed until I’ve loved you so many times; you’re screaming random quotes and beggin’ for me to stop. You hear me babe?”

  I kind of just whimpered.

  ***

  All through Saturday, Boss rehearsed our songs with us ready for the Animal trust charity performance that night and Jax accompanied us, just to spend time with me.

  I was due to sing two songs with Hell’s Eden and the new single with Sed. I had yet to see him since that disastrous night after the Bafta’s and I was apprehensive about how he would behave, especially around Jax.

  I didn’t have to wait long to find out.

  He strolled in an hour before our performance, entourage in tow and an attitude the size of Canada.

  This should be fun.