Being Invisible

by Penny Baldwin

  All of my instincts kicked in at that moment, and I did what anyone with multiple self-defense classes under their belt would do. I screamed at the top of my lungs and tripped over my own foot, causing me to fall into the person who may or may not have been trying to kill me. We both fell ungracefully onto the floor.

  Thanks karma. I have to make a note never to laugh at my friends again.

  Before I had a chance to look at the perp, I caught my bearings and remembered the plan. "Bathroom! Bathroom!” I managed to get out. Which, in hindsight, probably didn’t make much sense since I was supposed to be casually asking the suspect that so as not to attract attention.

  Terrible plan execution aside, I was effective in getting two very pissed off roommates with self defense training in front of me quickly. But before they jumped to my defense and attacked, they stopped dead in their tracks.

  “What the...” Liz trailed off. I turned around to see what caused her confused expression, when I saw him on the ground behind me.

  “You have got to be kidding me!” I half yelled, partially from the adrenaline still coursing through my veins. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  Colin took a second to answer, clearly as disoriented as we were. “I…I was working out. Am I not supposed to do that here?” he asked looking around in mock confusion.

  “Not at midnight. You scared the shit out of us.” I was trying to sound calm, but my heart was still on Law and Order time, and I wasn’t sure my brain had completely caught up with my eyes yet.

  “Yes, Colin, What brings you to the free weights at midnight on Saturday night?” By her tone, it appeared that Annie was taking on the role of bad cop.

  “Um...would it be weird for me to state the obvious- that the three of you are, in fact, at the exact same gym. At midnight. On Saturday night. Should I be asking you the same question?”

  “We come here all the time.” Liz jumped in. “But we’ve never seen you here.”

  “I have been coming here almost every night for the last two weeks. And I haven’t seen any of you three once during that time.”

  “Well, that’s because we only come this late at night on Saturdays…and only every once in awhile. So it’s been like…what three weeks?” Annie turned to me for clarification.

  “Sounds about right.” I answered her, looking everywhere but in his general direction.

  Since my body was finally coming off my Nancy Drew Mysteries high, an acute reminder that I was standing in front of the lying asshole himself was slowly replacing my panic.

  “So, can we agree that we all scared the shit out of each other, and move on?” Colin asked.

  His comment made me glance in his direction, and for the first time since we ran into each other, I noticed his demeanor. He seemed pretty freaked out- like, as freaked out as we were. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

  “Well, now that we have figured out that other people do in fact come here to exercise, can we please get back to the bags?”

  I was pretty sure that was Liz’s ‘I told you so,’ so I ignored her and started to head back. Not that I felt like doing anything else that night. I just needed to get away from what had apparently become the ‘Colin Collision’ Part II. Before I got too far, I heard Colin’s voice.

  “Hey, Lucy. Can I talk to you for a sec?”

  I let go of a deep sigh to let him know it was a huge inconvenience, but turned around to talk to him anyway.

  “What do you need?”

  “I’m just really surprised to see you here. I’m surprised to see anyone here actually.” he let out a nervous laugh. “But I kinda feel like it was meant to happen or something.”

  At that I laughed. “Meant to happen, huh? Right. Like you were meant to knock me down, then pretend like you felt bad about it? Like you were meant to call me because you wanted to take me on a date? Do you think that you are meant to be a huge jerk? Because if that’s the case then I think that I am meant to stay as far away from you as possible.” I started to turn to tell my friends we could go, but then realized that they had already made themselves scarce.

  Thanks guys.

  “You’re right.” Colin exhaled in defeat. “You should be pissed at me, and I don’t deserve your time. But if you can give me a minute, I wanted to let you know...” He stopped, unable to find the right words.

  I stood there for a moment, not sure what to do, waiting for him to say something. When nothing came, I started to leave, but he stopped me.

  “I wanted to let you know that I had a great time with you.” When I didn’t immediately walk away, he continued. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your smile… or your kiss, or... well pretty much anything involving your mouth and that general area.”

  I was still giving him my ‘I’m not buying anything you are saying’ look but it was getting increasingly difficult because I couldn’t freaking seem to not smile around him.

  “I really wanted to see you again.” He said.

  I remained quiet, waiting for him to continue.

  “I didn’t call you because, something came up...man, even as I’m saying it, I know it sounds lame...” Colin shook his head at his own words. “I know that sounds like a terrible line. I wish I could tell you more. But, I’m just going through a lot. I’m not asking you to forgive me, or give me another chance, because you deserve someone that doesn’t need that from you. I’m only telling you because I don’t want you to feel like I think you deserve to be treated that way. So, I’m sorry.”

  At the end of his speech, he walked away, not even waiting for a response from me. He placed his earphones in and turned on his music, then went straight to lifting weights.

  I just stood there, dumbfounded for what seemed like minutes, before I left to find my friends.

  “You okay?” Liz asked, throwing an arm around me.

  “You heard?”

  “Of course we heard.” Liz patted my back. “We were eavesdropping.”

  I laughed lightly, suddenly exhausted and near tears from the craziness.

  “Why don’t we head out.“ Annie chimed in.

  I nodded, so ready to call it a night.

  Right when we headed to the door to leave, I glanced back to where Colin was still exercising by himself at almost 1:00 in the morning. Something came over me.

  I couldn't leave.

  “Hey guys. Go ahead without me. I’ll have Colin walk me home.”

  They both smiled in understanding, then waved goodbye.

  Chapter Eight

  Music For Saving Old Ladies Everywhere

  I headed back to where Colin was, clearing my voice as I did, to try to avoid any more freak-outs or injuries.

  Colin looked up in confusion, clearly not expecting me.

  “Hey, Lucy. Did you forget something?”

  “No. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. You know, hanging out here at 1:00 AM, by yourself. You never know what kind of unsavory characters you might run into.” I smiled trying to lighten the mood.

  “Nothing I can’t handle.” he smiled in return.

  “Okay, so you can totally take care of yourself- but what about me? My roommates left, and I don’t want to leave this place alone.

  “Well I guess that means I’ll be doing the honor.” Colin finished up, wiped down the weight bench and grabbed his towel. He wasn’t his usual playful self, and despite myself I was starting to worry that something was wrong with him.

  “Are you okay, Colin? Do you want to talk about anything?” I asked.

  “What? Oh no, I’m fine. I just need to grab my gym bag from the locker. Can you watch my stuff for a sec?” He motioned to his water bottle and mp3 player sitting on the bench.

  I nodded. “Sure. ”I waited a second before deciding to speak up. “Colin, I know that things didn’t work out with us, you know, dating. But if you need a friend...”

  Colin smiled then walked away.

  While I sat there waiting for him, I suddenly had a thought. I won
der if he really does listen to Knight Rider?

  Curiosity got the best of me, so I opened up his music. A feeling of relief washed over me as I flipped through his songs, seeing a lot of the same artists as I had on mine.

  I decided to check out his playlists, but he didn’t have much other than a few genius mixes.

  My curiosity piqued again when I saw a playlist called ‘Lucy.’ I clicked on the playlist, and saw the first song, ‘Pull Me Down.’

  He has the song that was playing when we first kissed.

  My heart skipped a beat as I looked through the list of songs that were playing the night of the party.

  Before I had a chance to think too much about it, I heard Colin coming back. I grabbed his water bottle from the bench.

  “Ready to go?” Colin motioned for the front door.

  We walked for the first ten minutes in relative silence, until I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

  “So why do you work out this late?” I asked, trying to break the ice.

  “Truth? Part of it is that I am really busy and this is when I have time, the other, bigger part of is that I…” he stopped, embarrassed to continue.

  “What?” I smiled, urging him to go on.

  “Don’t laugh.”

  I shook my head to let him know I wouldn’t.

  “I just started exercising recently. When I ran into you, I had been running all of two days. I was in track in high school, but once I hit college, there was just too much partying I had to accomplish to also keep up with the running.”

  I nodded in understanding, not wanting to interrupt.

  “Something happened recently, and it got me thinking. Drew and I had just left the store. This lady around my Grandma’s age was carrying her groceries in the parking lot, and she seemed like she was struggling. We were just about to go help her, when a guy ran up and grabbed her purse. Her bags fell. Her groceries went everywhere. The poor woman was distraught. We ran after the guy, and tackled him...because you know I’m good at that part.” He winked at me, and I laughed. It was good to see him loosening up a bit.

  “But he was able to get away. We got the purse, but everything had fallen out. He grabbed the wallet and took off running. By the time the cops got there, he was gone. It made me start to think. If I could have skipped a few parties, drank a few less beers, maybe this poor lady would have her stuff. “

  I started to shake my head. “Colin, you can’t think...”

  “I know. I know. I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I just decided then that I want to be... I don’t know, better. Stronger. Faster. Do you know what the saddest part of it was? That little old lady actually tried to give Drew and me each a dollar from the pocket of her purse. She’s got nothing. No wallet. No credit cards. She doesn’t even have her discount card for Hometown Buffet. Yet she wants to give us a dollar to thank us because we got her purse back. I guess now she won’t have to buy a new pack of tissues, or steal extra mints from restaurants because of us.”

  I started to chuckle, but stopped when he gave me a look. “Sorry. Continue.”

  “So now, I’m getting myself fight ready- or at least that’s the plan. I have no idea what I’m doing. That’s where the midnight workout sessions come in. It’s a little embarrassing. And remember you promised not to laugh, but I’m kind of trying to get in good enough shape to save old lady wallets everywhere.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it.

  “You promised me you wouldn’t laugh.” he teasingly bumped my shoulder with his.

  “I promise, I am not laughing at your story. I think that might be one of the greatest stories I have ever heard. I am laughing because you are adorable.” I decided to admit the truth, since he was being so honest.

  “Adorable? I have been working very hard to be badass. I’m talking John McClane here. No one would have called him adorable.” At my questioning look he added, “Die Hard?”

  “Oh yeah, I got it now.” I nodded in understanding. “But, Colin, you can be both badass and adorable. I promise. And the badass thing? You are already halfway there. Do you know how many guys would have just ignored it? Maybe called 911? At the most yelled ‘hey somebody get that guy?’ What you did was pretty amazing. And the fact that you did it, even though you weren’t sure you could? You’re like… a hero.”

  That seemed to alleviate some of his tension. “You think?”

  “Definitely.”

  “Okay. I see your point.”

  “And I hope you don’t think I am talking down to you or anything, but I have taken a lot of classes at the gym, so if you need help, I could, you know, show you what I got. I wouldn’t even mind coming late at night if you want.”

  “Really? You would do that for me?”

  “Sure. Anything I can do to keep old ladies’ purses in their hands.”

  “That would be great.” Colin was getting more enthusiastic the more we talked.

  “Do you want to start tomorrow?” I asked.

  “Tomorrow’s great." He paused a beat, thinking, then spoke again. Now that we have that all settled, I need you to do me a favor.”

  “What’s that?” I asked raising my eyebrows in question.

  “I need you to tell me, in detail, exactly what makes me adorable.”

  I shook my head and laughed. That’s the Colin I know.

  .

  Chapter Nine

  My Moving On Mix From the Eighties

  Colin and I had been hanging out almost every night for a couple months. Sometimes he would come early, and we would get dinner, hang out, maybe watch a movie. Other times we would go straight to the gym.

  Occasionally Liz, Annie and Drew would join us. Every once in a while Liz and Drew would actually work out, but mostly they just made out on the bench presses.

  Colin and I, on the other hand, had landed in the friend zone. He never tried to kiss me again. I couldn’t imagine he was dating anyone else either, since we were together almost every night, but we never talked about that. We talked about everything else, though.

  When I aced my interview for a job as a research assistant for Channel Ten News, he was right there to celebrate. And when I found out that I officially got the job six months before we graduated, he helped me practice by pretending he was someone else, while I asked him interview questions.

  I was excited for him, too. He pushed himself every day, getting stronger and running faster than he ever had.

  Everything with us was going great... except for the fact that I was tired of being in the friend zone. I never forgot the feel of his lips on mine, or the way he held me when we slept, or the fact that he had a playlist dedicated to the first night we kissed. It was driving me crazy.

  Annie and Liz were starting to worry about me. “You never have time to go out with anyone else because you are always with him!” Liz yelled over the sound of “Tainted Love.”

  They had grabbed me as soon as I walked in the door after working out, and made me go to Maxwell’s for drinks and dancing.

  Maxwell’s was one of our favorite hangouts, because they played cool eighties music, so I was game for a night out- not so much so for the intervention Annie and Liz were staging.

  "If you guys are going to just be friends then that’s fine,” Annie added. “But then you need to have time to meet other guys. He can’t monopolize you.”

  I didn’t want to hear it, but they were sort of right. I needed to move on. Colin and I could always be friends, but I was potentially missing out on meeting the love of my life.

  “Fine." I took a deep breath and let it out. "I’ll give it a try, that’s all I’m saying.” I looked around the small club, contemplating my next move. “Where do I start?”

  The girls did their part by making sure that I danced with as many guys as I could and that I got a few numbers.

  By the end of the night, my phone was filled with possibilities. They also made me promise to call at least one of the guys.

  I enjoyed the night out.
Liz, Annie and I danced like crazy, both with each other and with guys. A couple guys tried to buy me drinks, but my friends and I had a strict 'no drinks we don't buy ourselves' rule.

  Overall, great time.

  Final count: I talked to seven guys, danced with four, got six phone numbers, and was interested in exactly… zero.

  Because I promised Annie and Liz that I would call at least one guy, I took the numbers of the three guys that seemed the most like my type, then drew a name out of a plastic cup. That’s how I met Jeff Williams. The guy who changed my life.

  And I only went on one date with him.

  Chapter Ten

  Good Music, Stupid Boys

  Jeff was sweet. He had impeccable manners. On top of it, he was a really good-looking guy. He also loved to talk about the 49ers. Like they were his children. I actually thought he was talking about his family for the first twenty minutes of our date, since he only used the football players' first names. Every once in a while, I forgot to act like I was listening.

  He didn’t seem to notice.

  Annie decided that operation ‘show Colin what he’s missing’ was in order. Apparently, going out with Jeff a couple more times was imperative. I agreed to one more date. That’s the most I could muster without gouging my own eyes out just to take the boredom away.

  Colin, Drew and James had just arrived at our house to watch a movie, when Annie and Liz decided it would be a great time to announce that I was officially dating.

  Liz was on a natural high because she had recently won the bet. She was also worried that Annie might not fulfill her part of the deal. Annie was mad at Liz for having so little faith in her. That became the start of bet number two.

  Liz actually bet Annie that if she didn’t keep the house clean for the next three months Annie wasn’t allowed to spend the night at James’s house for three months. Needless to say James was very helpful at keeping the house looking spotless.