Being Invisible

by Penny Baldwin

  “Lucy, Hey. It’s so great to see you. Come on in.”

  “No offense, Colin, but you look like shit.”

  Colin looks like I hurt his feelings, which I don’t buy at all. “But I fixed myself up for you, Luce.”

  “I can tell. That lumberjack stranded in the wilderness look is really catching on. Must have taken you a long time to get just right.”

  Colin laughs, which causes him to start a coughing fit.

  “Okay. That’s it for you. Go lie down on the couch. I’ll bring you some soup.”

  “Is that what smells so good?” He tries to look in my bag, but I pull it away.

  “Couch. Now.”

  “Fine.” He heads to the family room, then kinda falls onto the couch.

  I bring out some Advil and ginger ale before returning to the kitchen to bring him his soup. I crunch up some crackers in it because I know he likes it that way, but I make them extra small so that it doesn’t hurt when he swallows. Finally, I add a little pepper and bring it to him on a tray.

  “Be careful. It’s still pretty hot.”

  “Have I ever told you that you are the most awesome person I have ever met?” He says it with his mouth full of soup, since he ignored my warning about how hot it is.

  “Hmm… Not that I can remember. Why don’t you tell me all about it, after you recover from your little bout of death. That way you might actually be able to speak.”

  “Deal.” He finishes his soup in record time, takes a large drink of his ginger ale, and collapses back on the couch.

  “Why don’t you go to bed? If you are a good boy, you can have a popsicle when you wake up.”

  “The root beer kind?”

  “The root beer float kind.” Colin’s wide smile is infectious, and I can’t help but laugh.

  “Can you come lie down with me, just for a minute? I think I will sleep better if you’re with me.”

  I sigh and shake my head. “Fine. Just for a minute. And only because you are sick. And you are pathetic when you are sick.”

  “Yes I am. Now come with me.”

  “I follow him back to his room, and start to pull the covers over him, when I remember my blanket. “Hold on a sec. I’ll be right back.”

  I run out and grab the blanket and bring it in. I put it over him, and curl up beside him in the bed.

  “You brought the green blanket? I love the green blanket.”

  “I know.”

  I let him put his arm around me and pull me close. As he starts to drift off to sleep I can see him becoming invisible.

  “Is it easier now to control when you’re sick, or is it still bad?” I notice that this is the first time he has disappeared, so he must be able to control it some.

  “Better since you’re here.” He’s kind of mumbling his words now. “You...make me better.” That’s the last thing he says before he’s sound asleep, his arms around me, holding me close.

  When I wake up, it takes me a minute to figure out where I am. I lean back on the pillow and close my eyes, wanting to have a little more time with Colin.

  “Hey, you going back to sleep on me?” I turn my head to see Colin propped up on one arm, leaning over me.

  “What time is it?” I ask, pulling myself up to look around.

  “Four thirty.”

  “Four thirty? I’ve been sleeping for over two and half hours.”

  “Me too. I woke up about five minutes before you. You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you.”

  “I actually slept really well.” I don’t mean to say it out loud, but I don’t really mind that I did.

  “Me too. That’s the first time I slept for more than an hour at a time since I got sick two nights ago.”

  “Colin, why didn’t you call me sooner? I would have come.”

  “I know. I just didn’t want you to feel like I was trying to get you back.”

  Even though I don’t want it to, my heart drops a little. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise to hear him say it. I should have known by the way he wasn’t, you know, doing anything to try to get me back. But I guess I was hoping he was giving me space while he was working on getting the world off his back.

  “It’s okay. You can ask me for help anytime and I promise I won’t think it’s some kind of move.”

  I get up to try to avoid him noticing that his words stung me so much. “You feeling any better?” I ask, while pretending to fix my hair, which at the moment I really couldn’t care less about.

  “Yeah. A little. I was invisible when I woke up, but I came back after a few minutes. I think I might have it under control as long as I don’t doze off.”

  “That’s good. I think you can have some Tylenol now. I’ll go get it for you.”

  “I’ll just come out with you.” He gets up slowly, throws the green blanket around his shoulders, and heads to the couch.

  I bring him his medicine with more ginger ale to wash it down. After taking a long drink, he leans back on the pillows.

  “So are you going to bust out those popsicles, or am I going to have to beg?”

  “Oh, popsicles. Right. I almost forgot. Please no begging. It’s not a great look on you. I will get you a popsicle.”

  I head to the kitchen and stop in front of his fridge.

  Why does it still have to be so hard? When will breaking up feel okay?

  I take a moment to collect myself. Then I grab two popsicles and take them into the living room. I hand one to Colin before opening my own.

  I start to sit on the other end of the couch, but he grabs my arm and pulls me down in front of him.

  “What’s going on, Luce? Ever since we woke up you’ve been acting weird. Are you upset that you fell asleep with me?”

  “No. Not at all. It was...nice taking a nap with you.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “It’s nothing. Really. I’m fine.”

  “Are you forgetting who you are talking to, Luce? I know you. And I know when something’s wrong. So spill.”

  I try to look down, but Colin gently tips my chin so that I am looking in his eyes. Seeing him like this, so sick but still so concerned about me, me makes me melt.

  I don’t make a sound, but the tears are a dead giveaway that I’m not as together as I would like him to believe.

  Colin pulls me onto his lap, and puts his arms around me, which of course just makes me cry more.

  “Tell me what this is about. You’re scaring me.”

  I let him hold me for a few more seconds, then when I feel like I can hold it together, I pull away enough that he can see me.

  “I’m sorry. It’s ridiculous. I know we broke up a while ago, but it’s the first time I have heard you talk about how we’re completely over. And it was just hard to hear.”

  Colin squints his eyes and furrows his brows, looking up and off to the side like he’s deep in thought. “When did I say that?” He seems lost.

  I start to talk, but I’m temporarily distracted when Colin, who has already finished his popsicle, grabs mine and licks it.

  “Sorry. It was going to drip onto my couch.”

  “Here take it.” I hand it to him, trying to keep all Colin germs away from me.

  “Go on.” Colin says before taking a bite.

  “You didn’t want to call me because you don’t want me to think that you want to get back together.”

  Colin puts the popsicle in his mouth for a few seconds before answering. “What?”

  “What do you mean,‘what?’ I asked why you didn’t tell me sooner that you are sick, and you said because you didn’t want me to think you wanted to get back together.”

  “That’s not what I said.”

  “Uh, yeah it is.”

  “No it’s not. I think what I said was, ‘I didn’t want you to think I was trying to get you back.”

  “What’s the difference?”

  “I didn’t want you to think that me calling was a ploy to get you back. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you back
. It means I wasn’t trying in that particular situation.”

  “Hm. That does seem different.”

  Colin rolls his eyes. “You think?”

  I think about it a second before responding. “Yeah. That’s different.”

  “I know it’s different, I’m the one who said it.”

  “I know I’m being ridiculous. It’s not like we are getting back together or anything. I guess it just always makes me feel better to know that there is a possibility someday.”

  Colin sits up a little straighter, and sits me so that I am facing him, my legs around his waist. “Lucy, I am never going to give up trying to get you back. As long as there’s still a chance, I am going to be fighting for us. Never think for a second that I’m not.”

  “But you work all the time. Liz tells me. It’s always the same. Job, Hero, sleep. Job, hero, sleep. There is literally no time for me in your life. How is that trying to get me back?”

  “The DEA wants to hire me. I’m leaving NionCorp. My last day is next Tuesday. Once I start working with the DEA, I promised them forty hours of superhero time a week. No more.”

  “What? Colin this is huge. Why didn’t you tell me this?” I am on the verge of being excited, but something tells me there’s a big ‘but’ coming up.

  By Colin’s hesitance to answer me, I can tell there’s more, and that it’s not good.

  “Whatever it is, you need to tell me, Colin. I want you to trust me enough to tell me things.”

  Colin looks torn, but after a few seconds he seems to lose the battle with himself.

  “Do you remember the name Carl Nagy?”

  I think for a second before answering. “Isn’t that the guy they call the Exterminator? The one at the diner?”

  “That’s the guy. Well, thanks to you we know that he has the ability to make people sick. And I know you said that he killed some plants, but we didn’t know how far he could go with humans. Turns out, he can do anything from a slight headache all the way to cutting of their ability to breathe.”

  “So you want to find this guy before he hurts anyone else?”

  “It’s not that. Not that I want anyone else to get hurt, but I meant what I said to you. I’m doing what I can to make things right. But, Lucy, he knows about me. He doesn’t know who I am when I’m not invisible, but he knows that I have been working on this investigation, and he knows he can hurt me without even touching me. His goal is to figure out where I’m at, then kill me.”

  “Oh shit, Colin.” My heart has dropped to my feet, and I feel like I am going to be sick. I didn’t think I could feel worse than when Colin and I broke up, but this is so much worse. He can’t die. I can’t lose him.

  “They tried to get him that day you saw him, but he’s too good. The local police tried to sneak up on him, but he knocked them all out without even touching them. I have been working night and day to find him. I don’t know what I would do if he somehow found out about you. I need to get to him before that happens.”

  “Me? He’s after you, Colin! Aren’t you worried about you? He’s actually trying to kill you.”

  “I can control what I do. I can’t control you. Or what happens to you when I’m not around.”

  “Like when you were furious with me for showing up at the diner?”

  “Yes. Like that.” He gives me his ‘I am so mad at you’ look at first, but then it softens. “Thank you by the way. You actually kind of saved my life that day.” He sort of mumbles it while looking down likes it’s really hard for him to admit.

  “What was that, Colin? Didn’t quite hear you. It sounded like you said thank you. But I know that couldn’t be possible since you were so pissed at me that day for ruining your sting operation.”

  “I didn’t care about you ruining the sting operation. I was worried about you. I was so pissed at you for putting your life in danger. If anything ever happened to you I would never forgive myself.”

  “That’s not what you said then.”

  “I think that we have already established that everything I say comes out wrong. Why you listen to anything I say is beyond me.”

  “That’s true. I should have learned by now.” I place my head on his chest and close my eyes, just wanting to enjoy this moment with him. He puts his arm around me and kisses my head.

  “This is why we still can’t be together, Lucy. I don’t want you anywhere near me until this is over.”

  “But I helped you before. Don’t you think I could help you now?”

  “I’m sure you could. But I am not willing to take the chance. Please don’t argue this one with me, Luce. I can’t have you be a part of this. I can’t.”

  “Okay. I get it. But you have to be careful too, Colin. The worry you feel about something happening to me? I feel it about you too. I just don’t get to forbid you from doing anything.”

  Colin chuckles and pulls me closer. “Okay. I promise to be careful.”

  He’s starting to feel warm again, and I can tell this conversation has taken a lot out of him.

  He leans back on the couch with his eyes closed and lightly draws circles on my back with his fingers. I notice he is becoming invisible again.

  “How about if I make a deal with you?” I pull myself up so that I can look Colin in the eyes.

  Colin gives me a questioning look. “What kind of a deal?”

  “I promise to stay away from you starting on Monday. No one will even think we know each other. If…” I pause for a second to make sure he knows that I mean it. “You let me take care of you this weekend. You can’t go out anyway being invisible and all.”

  Colin looks down at himself, noticing for the first time that he is turning invisible.

  Colin cocks his eyebrow and bites his lip, like he’s thinking about it. “That’s a tough deal, but I think I can handle it.” As soon as he looks at me, he smirks.

  “Good. And by the way, this deal also means that for the rest of the weekend you have to do everything I say.” I give him my most innocent smile.

  “Fine. I have a feeling that I’m gonna have to get used to doing everything you say anyway.”

  I know it’s strange, but him saying that makes me want to cry a little. I’m not going to, but I want to. It’s just that I think I have felt almost every possible emotion today. I’m worried, stressed, freaked-out and angry. But I’m also cautiously hopeful, and beyond happy to see Colin. So when he says something that is suggestive of our future together, I want to cry. Because that’s what all this emotion boils down to. I love Colin, and I want my future to be with him.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Hope For The Hopeless Mix

  I don’t want to leave him. After spending all of Saturday and most of today with him, I don’t want to go. It’s been so long since I have seen him, and it might be a long time before I can see him again. And I’m afraid for him. I hope he lives up to his end of the bargain and acts really freaking careful.

  This weekend has been perfect. Colin did everything I told him he had to do. He took his medicine, ate the dinner I made, and let me change his sheets. He even agreed to take a long bath after I finally agreed to crawl in with him and wash his back.

  I wore one of his t-shirts and slept beside him in his bed, making sure to snuggle close the whole night.

  By Sunday morning, Colin was feeling somewhat better. He was still turning invisible occasionally, so I told him that he was not allowed to leave his apartment until he could keep himself visible one hundred percent of the time.

  After making his favorite breakfast, we played video games and ate cereal out of the box for most of the day. Being a superhero has really made him amazing at video games. It kinda pissed me off. But it also reminded me that he could take care of himself.

  What pissed me off even more was when he decided he wasn’t going to kiss me.

  “Come on Colin. You’re not going to get me sick. You know me. I never get sick.”

  “Never, Lucy? You sure about that?” Colin tickled me
to try to get me to back off.

  “Okay, so I almost never get sick. Whatever. But I’m willing to take that chance. That’s how much kissing you means to me.” I snuggle up next to him and lay my head on his shoulder.

  “Well I’m willing to give up kissing you, which is one of my favorite things in the world to do, because that’s what you mean to me.” Colin leaned over and kissed my forehead.

  I smiled, but rolled my eyes at the same time. “You missed me, didn’t you?” I leaned up and kissed his neck.

  “Of course I missed you. I never stopped thinking about…your… ah-“ Colin stopped short when I started rubbing the inside of his leg.

  “I missed you too Colin.” I whispered in his ear while “accidentally” brushing my body against his. “And I need you to kiss me.”

  “Luce, I don’t think-“ My tongue in his ear interrupted his thought. Even though he was still trying to say the words, the way his hands slid around my waist and up under my shirt, I could tell I almost had him. I climbed over him so that I was leaning on my knees, my legs on either side of his.

  “Please kiss me Colin. Please.” I rubbed my hands through his hair then kissed him once on the lips. He kissed me back but pulled away. His intense stare proved to me that he wasn’t unaffected.

  I kissed him again, but this time I pulled away, then I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my body into his. “I’m begging you Colin,” I whispered. “Kiss me again. Please don’t stop.”

  That was his breaking point. He pulled me the rest of the way to him and kissed me deeply. When I wrapped my legs around his waist, a moan escaped his lips.

  Eventually, he flipped me over so that I was underneath him, and we stayed that way for a couple hours, tangled up in each other while we made up for lost time.

  Once Colin started turning invisible, I could tell that he wasn’t feeling well again. I left Colin to take a nap while I made lasagna and garlic bread for dinner, and we ate together on the couch.

  Now it’s 8:30pm, and we are finished with dinner. I have cleaned his kitchen and made him lunch and dinner for tomorrow. I even vacuumed his whole apartment for him. Everything I could do to prolong our time together has been done. It’s time to say goodbye.