Those few years that now felt like part of someone else’s life.
I blew out a deep breath. Shaking my head in disbelief at the recognition, I looked to the side of the building. The old house had an extension to it. A modern looking one-storey building was connected to the beautiful house by way of a completely glass-sided and glass-roofed walkway.
It had been done brilliantly.
The old connected to the new.
‘It’s his dream house. He showed me this, the morning after our very first kiss, Charlie.’
‘Yeah… romantic fucker, isn’t he?’
I looked back at him and smiled at his words.
‘He will never own up to it, but I know he bought it to feel close to you… he always expected ya to come back… I’m sorry, Lily, but as his mate I tried to talk the stupid fucker out of buying it. But, I’m pleased I was wrong and that he was right… you’re here… Although don’t tell him I said so.’
Tears were coursing their way down my face, it seemed I had opened the floodgate and now they weren’t going to stop. I watched from my blurry, peripheral view as he shrugged his shoulders and smiled at me.
‘Yes, I’m here, Charlie… But, how long for? No one has told me yet.’ I gulped down a huge sob and placed my hand against my mouth to contain it.
‘Come on, let’s go inside. You need food and by the looks of it, a seat. We can talk in there.’ He picked me up with ease and strode towards the house.
I carried on my routine mulling over the words that Charlie had shared with me. I knew that some fucking days I didn’t deserve his undying support, but I also knew it was swings and roundabouts, as some days he didn’t fucking deserve mine either. You could say we evened each other out nicely.
The sweat that had turned cold on my body as we had talked, began to warm up once more as I began to punch at the heavy leather bag in front of me. The one-two routine I knew so well helped to take away the ineffective feelings that Charlie had left behind him in his wake. I hit the bag hard, feeling the connection deep down inside me. After thirty minutes or so the sweat on my face started to fly away from my skin with every punch. Droplets flew everywhere, and as they had also started to run into my eyes I calmed down the relentless rhythm I had forced myself to achieve. I loved the numbness that came from binding my hands in the ropes that I used to train with. I wished I could manage to give my brain the same fucking respite.
I ran through our conversation again.
‘How fucking could you, gobshite?’
Charlie slammed the door behind him and I looked up ready to lay into him. The glass rattled in his wake as he showed me the depth of his anger. The hurt on his face showed me what had him pissed and I readied myself to receive his wrath. I had been waiting for this since the moment I had phoned her to ask for help. He had found out that Katy had been here and left again, and I knew he was about to tear me a new one.
I let out a deep sigh and closed and opened my eyes slowly, while I waited for more from him, but nothing came.
‘Sorry, man… I have no excuse, other than the fact that Lily needed her.’
‘I can’t believe she was fucking here and not once when I phoned to see how Lily was, did you let me know! No wonder you… you, fucking piece of shit, kept putting me off from coming around.’ He was pointing his finger at me with every word he spoke.
I watched as he stepped closer and closer towards me. But I could see the hurt in his eyes superseded the rage on his face. Eventually, he stopped walking right in front of me and grabbed a hold of my face with one hand, digging his fingers into my skin. My nostrils flared as I glared back at him. I would allow him this, this one fucking thing. I knew I deserved much more, but it wasn’t in me to just lie down and take it. He pulled my face away from his grasp in a sudden movement causing my head to turn sideways. I clenched my fists tightly together, but made sure my arms never left my sides. I watched as he turned and parked his arse on the old wooden chair sitting in the corner of my new gym. His elbows found his legs and he leant forward. Staring at me, he rocked slightly as he controlled his anger.
‘What a fucking pair we are,’ I offered.
He nodded his head in agreement.
‘You can say that again, fucker… You spoken to Lily, yet? I mean I saw her in your arms, but have you spoken to her… with words and everything?’
‘Sort of, a couple of times… She started to push away from me last time, just before you walked in. I obviously touched a nerve. But her pushing me away… it cut so fucking deep. She shut down on me the moment I mentioned her staying here and not going back. I know she loves me… but whoever Harry is, she loves him too. I saw it in her eyes… I can almost fucking cope with…’ As a heated rage flared up suddenly inside of me, I swung around violently and smashed my bare fist into the nearby punch bag. It swung away with the force of the punch, as it returned I caught it and banged my forehead against it. ‘Nah, that’s fucking crap, I can’t cope with it. She’s MINE, she ain’t meant to be with no one else.’ I looked towards him again with concern and nodded at him. ‘What did she say to you?’
He shrugged at me and answered. ‘I showed her your house and we talked about how fucking romantic you are, gobshite. I ended up carrying her back to the kitchen and got her some food… she’s still weak, isn’t she?’ I nodded my answer, feeling my jealousy rise inside me. I couldn’t even bear the thought of her in Charlie’s arms. ‘She wanted to go over the night we found her and she also asked how long she was here for.’
‘Fuck.’ I made my way over to a table where I knew I would find the vice I was looking for. I quickly placed the cigarette into my mouth, lit up and dragged on it quickly until it was gone. ‘You told her?’ I asked between the few puffs.
‘Yeah.’ He shrugged his shoulders at me.
‘She also asked me what you knew about Harry.’
I finished the cigarette and extinguished it by pinching the end with my thumb and forefinger, relishing the burn I felt on the tips. I dropped it to the floor. ‘How did ya answer that?’ I placed my now twitching hands, with my fingers linked together, on the top of my head and blew out a deep breath.
‘I told her the truth, about how she had called for him when she was first here and then when we chatted further, she told me she had seen Katy…’ He stared at me again, trying to get his feelings over to me. He needn’t have bothered, I knew and had always known he would be pissed at me. ‘She also told me how her father had played you both, until she ended up with the Vasiles.’ Charlie opened his arms out wide to me in question, just waiting for me to acknowledge that I knew.
I nodded back and sighed.
‘And did she tell you about what Ioan Antonescu did to her?’ I watched him lean back in the chair and cross his arms over his chest. He nodded. ‘I can’t believe it was my fucking fault that caused all this shit. My need for violence, the release, my stupid idiotic choice, steered the way to her living with sick, depraved fucking scum. It’s beyond my fucking comprehension.’ I could see the anger in his face, my family was like his own to him and he’d proven to me before he would do anything to help me protect them. But Lily had been outside of our protection. She had already been harmed. But, it wouldn’t happen again, never again would a woman I loved be violated. I was prepared to do anything to stop that happening.
He was still talking, but I heard nothing. I was left trapped in my own head, until his words once again began to penetrate through my red mist.
‘You know, gobshite. I’ve always thought this talking thing, ya know communicating and shit, was overrated. But now? We both need to talk to our women and fucking fast, before we lose any hope of them ever opening up and giving us all the facts.’
‘When Katy gets back… you’ll be the first to know. I promise…’
‘You’re all good… I know when she’ll be back.’ I looked at him in question. ‘She’ll be here tomorrow… after our chat, Lily put two and two together and came up with the fact that Katy and I are married, she c
alled her using your mobile. She asked her to bring a few things she needed, as soon as she could.’
‘God help you… she ain’t gonna like the fact she’s been tricked into coming here. You know that, right?’ He nodded his head at me. ‘In the meantime, what am I gonna do about a woman who doesn’t want me near her?’
‘Fuck off… I don’t think it’s quite that bad, gobshite. I saw her in your arms and until the last few seconds, she was more than fucking happy to be there. You said it yourself, she changed when you mentioned about her not going back.’
I thought back to how soft and pliable she felt in my arms. ‘Yeah, maybe… Thanks for the fucking words of wisdom. How do I get her to trust me again? I need her to give me more information. John needs more to work on… hell, I need more to work with.’
He rubbed his hand briskly over the top of his crew cut. The sound of the short bristles connecting with his skin filled the empty void in the room. ‘Welcome to my fucking world… if I knew the answer to that, my wife wouldn’t have left me to live in some fucking nurse’s accommodation. Would she?’
I forced a small smile to my mouth.
Adrenalin was now coursing through my system. I moved away from the bag and unwrapped my hands. As soon as the ropes fell away from my skin, I jumped up and gripped onto the chinning bar to the side of me. I turned my grip around on the bar and began to pull myself up, shouting as I counted out loud, until I completed my rep of ten chins. I repeated the reps over and over. My bi-ceps began to ache, my breathing became erratic with the exertion and my lungs began to burn. I wished I could fucking bottle the sensation. My mind had emptied and wanting to keep it that way, I started yet another rep of ten.
Eventually, exhausted I dropped down from the bar. I lay spread out on the floor, looking through the glass roof to the clouds that drifted across the greying sky. A few drops of rain had started to fall. I watched as they collected into rivulets and ran over the glass, together they cleaned away the grime. Reaching out to the side of me I picked up the towel to dry the sweat from my body. As I patted the white towel to my face, it broke my view, but every time I removed it, my eyes came back to the rain and the way it purified the unsullied glass.
The truth needed to be faced.
I knew what needed to be done.
We needed to cleanse all the filth from our lives. Together, we needed to clean away the fucking grime.
I lifted my head up and away from the sink in my bathroom, the dark water ran quickly away. I rinsed the sink around with my hand, not wanting to find later that I’d ruined any part of the gorgeous bathroom. Then I flicked my wet hair out of my eyes with my hand, feeling the water as it started to run down my back. I knew I should have waited until it was at least towel dry, but I just hadn’t the patience.
‘And she’s back.’ I found Katy’s eyes with my own in the mirror above the sink and smiled at her.
‘I am.’ It felt strange, but good to recognise myself in the mirror. ‘Thanks for helping me, Katy. I just couldn’t stand to be here with you all, still looking like he insisted I look.’
‘I understand fully. So, what are we up to now. I mean you have entered my impromptu beauty salon. I’m absolutely crap at nails and eyebrows, but anything else, well… if you’re prepared to take your life into your own hands.’ I knew she was making small talk, trying to fill the emotionally charged room with banter.
I smiled at her again as I made a move to sit on the edge of the bath while I rubbed at my sopping hair with a towel. ‘I’d love some help with drying my hair, please.’ I could obviously do it myself but wanted to somehow maintain our contact.
‘That I can do.’ She stood up, claimed the towel from my hands and started to gently rub at my brand new dark brown hair.
The blonde was gone, and it felt liberating.
‘Can I ask you something, Katy?’
‘Always.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me that you’re married to Charlie?’
If she was taken aback by my question she never showed it. My hair was still being dried at the same rhythm.
‘Oh, is that the way we’re playing it? Fine then, why didn’t you call me? Anytime would have done… I’d have moved heaven and hell to get to you.’ My heart started to pump like I was running a race. Still she carried on drying my hair, never missing a beat.
‘Katy! I’m sorry, I couldn’t, I just wasn’t able to.’ I grabbed hold of her hands and forced her down to look at me.
Once she did, I pulled her into my arms for a hug.
‘What happened to us? We used to tell each other everything at the first opportunity,’ she whispered in my ear.
‘Shitty circumstances, Katy.’
We held each other close just savouring our new-found connection. Suddenly I felt her begin to gently giggle.
‘Oh my God… you swore, you said shitty. I never thought I’d see the day.’ She smiled at me as she broke out of my embrace and then her face returned to serious as she attempted to answer my question. ‘Ok… I didn’t tell you that Charlie and I had married as we’ve been separated for longer than we were together, it seemed irrelevant.’
‘Irrelevant? Go on,’ I urged her.
‘I rushed into it, not really thinking through the consequences about marrying into an Irish travelling family.’
‘You loved him though, right?’ I asked as I looked to the floor to start copying the checked pattern I found there with my index finger.
‘I did… I suppose I still do, but it was a rushed decision. It’s hard to explain, but after you disappeared the three of us just clutched at one another as we tried to stop each other from drowning. The pain of your loss and the feeling of uselessness at not being able to find you, was overwhelming. Try as we might we couldn’t help you. We were thrust together even closer than we had been before. We couldn’t even talk to people about it as most people didn’t believe us. No one outside of our trio understood how we felt. Jack was broken.’
I glanced up at her and nodded, tears once again filling my eyes.
She carried on. ‘You remember how volatile mine and Charlie’s relationship was, well it still is. It was always passionate, but after you went it seemed to be our only effective way to communicate. We married eight months after we last saw you.’
‘You married in the February?’ I remembered the February, it was one of the few times that I did remember.
‘Yes… You should have been with us… Lily, can you tell me what happened to you? Is it something you can talk about?’
Sitting on the bathroom floor with Katy seemed like a safe place to open up. I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to tell anyone everything that had happened to me. I had so often distanced myself from anything Tony had done and said to me. It was how I had kept myself alive and I had needed to stay alive, even when I had wished myself dead.
‘My father tricked me into believing that Jack was just like him. That’s why I didn’t turn up to get married. My mum and father were killed a few weeks later in a car accident. My life belongs to Tony and his father Nicolae, as my father owed them a lot of money and I had to pay off the debt. I have been raped, sexually abused, beaten and at one time whored out like an animal.’ I said all the cold, hard facts as fast as could, there was no point in sugar-coating it. My mouth went dry as a nauseous wave travelled up my throat, I swallowed and quickly suppressed it.
Katy shook her head at me. Her face looked horror-struck with the information I had just given her. ‘This isn’t a film! This is real life. We live in the twenty-first century. Surely that can’t be happening? We all come from small villages in the Kent countryside. Crime rate here is low.’ I knew she wasn’t questioning me, just voicing her own shock. She pulled me to her fast and gathered me into a hug. ‘I’m so sorry, Lily… I’m just so sorry. I promised you we would find a way to get you away from them. But we have you now. At last you are where you should be. You’re safe now.’
‘But I can’t stay here, Katy. I will have
to go back.’
Holding me by the shoulders Katy moved further away from me, and looked into my eyes. I felt her soul probing mine and I knew she had found the answer.
‘You had a baby, didn’t you?’
Tears were once again cascading down my cheeks. I swiped my fingertips over my face and nodded my confirmation to her.
‘I have a little boy called Harry.’ My heart swelled at just mentioning his name. ‘How did you know?’ I whispered.
Katy cupped her mouth, her eyes widening and nodded at me as she came to terms with the fact she was correct. ‘When you were first here Lynn and I did everything for you. I’m a nurse and I could see the changes in your body, discreet changes that can only be caused by a woman having carried a child. I wouldn’t be surprised if Lynn, as a mum of three, didn’t notice too.’
Oh dear.
On instinct, my head turned to look at the door. The wood filled the doorframe, but it wasn’t quite shut. I could no longer bear to lock myself in anywhere. I turned back to her as we stayed sitting on the floor of my bathroom.
‘Where is he?’ she asked as she moved her hold on me.
‘He’s safe, for a little while longer he’s out of the country with his nanny and Tony’s mum. She takes care of him when I’m… when I’m indisposed… Harry’s used to it. They’re visiting family in Romania. They love to show off my blond angel. But when he gets back I will have to go, whether the ninety days are up or not.’
‘Oh God… I understand. But, you need to tell Jack as soon as you can. You need to tell him everything. His brother-in-law is already looking into things. I’m sure they can help you.’
I knew it was a hopeless cause, but nodded my head to appease her.
‘And you, Katy. You’re in the envious position of having a choice. Please talk things through with Charlie, don’t avoid him anymore. Make sure you make the right choice for the right reasons, before you throw away something that you may regret for the rest of your life.’ I knew it sounded melodramatic. But the way my life had turned out made me see things differently.
Undeniable (Fated series Book 4) Page 20