What falls away : a memoir

by Farrow, Mia, 1945-

  As 1997 approaches, Matthew is a lawyer, clerking for a federal court judge, and Sascha is a computer analyst, happily wedded to Carrie, whom I love as my daughter. Lark and Daisy married brothers, and they too are happy; thanks to them, I have three glorious grandchildren. Fletcher and Moses are in college and doing great, while Kaeli-Shea must be the most talkative three-year-old at the Benjamin Bunny Nursery School. Every weekend one or another of the older kids comes to Frog Hollow for a visit.

  Tam has made up for her lost school years—today she wins top marks in the eighth grade. She's a whiz at math, and along with Satchel, she is a passionate gardener by touch, Tam can identify any plant or weed. She and Dylan are close sisters who share a bedroom and confidences. Dylan, at eleven, is a quiet little girl who loves to read, write, and draw. She sings with the school chorus and performs in the town's drama group. Satchel, at nine, is the family philosopher, a voracious reader, and impressively agile in the world of ideas. He is passionate about animals and is a member of the 4-H club.

  Outside my window at this moment Thaddeus is sitting with his cat in the red wagon, steering, while Frankie pushes him at top speed. Isaiah and Satchel, totally absorbed, are following the flights of various insects and butterflies. Kaeli-Shea is heading out with a bucket of potato chips. Dylan and her best friend are over on the jungle gym.

  I grew up in a family of seven children, I have raised

  seven children, now grown up, and again today there are seven children living at home. It feels absolutely right. We have chickens and roosters, two cows, five cats, a dog, rabbits, hamsters, birds, lizards, and tropical fish. We are looking for the right pony.

  APPENDIX

  / have reproduced the state supreme court decision in its entirety, which perhaps is an unusual document in a memoir. My purpose, however, in doing so is to reassure the reader that extracts from it have not distorted what was decided hy the Court. This decision was upheld in appeals to the Appellate Division, First Department, and the New York Court of Appeals. Furthermore, incidents reported prior to the custody trial were included in the testimony at that trial.

  SUPREME COURT: NEW YORK COUNTY INDIVIDUAL ASSIGNMENT PART 6

  WOODY ALLEN,

  Petitioner,

  against

  SU24A

  Index No. 68738/92

  MARIA VILLIERS FARROW, also known as NflA FARROW,

  Respondent.

  X

  ELLIOTT WILK, j."":

  INTRODUCTION

  On August 13, 1992, seven days after he learned that his seven-year-old daughter Dylan had accused him of sexual abuse, Woody Allen began this action against Mia Farrow to obtain custody of Dylan, their five-year-old son Satchel, and their fifteen-vear-old son Moses.

  As mandated by law, Dr. V. Kavirajan, the Connecticut pediatrician to whom Dylan repeated her accusation, reported the charge to the Connecticut State Police. In furtherance of their investigation to determine if a criminal prosecution should be pursued against Mr. Allen, the Connecticut State Police referred Dylan to the Child Sexual Abuse Clinic of Yale-New Haven Hospital. According to Yale-New Haven, the two major questions posed to them were: "Is Dylan telling the truth, and did we think that she was sexually abused?" On March 17, 1993, Yale-New Haven issued a report which concluded that Mr. Allen had not sexually abused Dylan.

  This trial began on March 19, 1993. Among the witnesses called by petitioner were Mr. Allen; Ms. Farrow; Dr. Susan Coates, a clinical psychologist who treated Satchel; Dr. Nancy Schultz, a clinical psychologist who treated Dylan; and Dr. David Brodzinsky, a clinical psychologist who spoke with Dylan and Moses pursuant to his assignment in a related Surrogate's Court proceeding. Dr. John Leventhal, a pediatrician who was part of the three-member Yale-New Haven team, testified by deposition. Ms. Farrow called Dr. Stephen Herman, a clinical psychiatrist, who commented on the Yale-New Haven report.

  What follows are my findings of fact. Where statements or observations are attributed to witnesses, they are adopted by me as findings of fact.

  * I acknowledge the assistance of Analisa Torres m the preparation of this opinion.

  FINDINGS OF FACF

  Mr. Allen is a fifty-seven year old film maker. He has been divorced twice. Both marriages were childless. Ms. Farrow is forty-eight years old. She is an actress who has performed in many of Mr. Allen's movies. Her first marriage, at age twenty-one, ended m divorce two years later. Shortly thereafter, she married Andre Prevm, with whom she had six children, three biological and three adopted.

  Matthew and Sascha Previn, twenty-three years old, were born on February 26, 1970. The birth year of Soon-Yi Previn is believed to be 1970 or 1972. She was born in Korea and was adopted in 1977. Lark Previn, twenty years old, was born on February 15, 1973. Fletcher Previn, nineteen years old, was born on March 14, 1974. Daisy Previn, eighteen years old, was born on October 6, 1974.

  After eight years of marriage, Ms. Farrow and Mr. Previn were divorced. Ms. Farrow retained custody of the children.

  Mr. Allen and Ms. Farrow met in 1980, a few months after Ms. Farrow had adopted Moses Farrow, who was born on January 27, 1978. Mr. Allen preferred that Ms. Farrow's children not be a part of their lives together. Until 1985, Mr. Allen had "virtually a single person's relationship" with Ms. Farrow and viewed her children as an encumbrance. He had no involvement with them and no interest in them. Throughout their relationship, Mr. Allen has maintained his residence on the east side of Manhattan and Ms. Farrow has lived with her children on the west side of Manhattan.

  In 1984, Ms. Farrow expressed a desire to have a child with Mr. Allen. He resisted, fearing that a young child would reduce the time that they had available for each other. Only after Ms. Farrow promised that the child would live with her and that Mr. Allen need not be involved with the child's care or upbringing, did he agree.

  After six months of unsuccessful attempts to become pregnant, and with Mr. Allen's lukewarm support, Ms. Farrow decided to adopt a child. Mr. Allen chose not to participate in the adoption and Ms. Farrow was the sole adoptive parent. On July II, 1985, the newborn Dylan joined the Farrow household.

  Mr. Allen's attitude toward Dylan changed a few months after the adoption. He began to spend some mornings and evenings at Ms. Farrow's apartment in order to be with Dylan. He visited at Ms. Farrow's country home in Connecticut and accompanied the Farrow-Previn family on extended vacations to Europe in 1987, 1988 and 1989. He remained aloof from Ms. Farrow's other children except for Moses, to whom he was cordial.

  In 1986, Ms. Farrow suggested the adoption of another child. Mr. Allen, buoyed by his developing affection for Dylan, was enthusiastic. Before another adoption could be arranged, Ms. Farrow became pregnant with Satchel.

  During Ms. Farrow's pregnancy, Mr. Allen did not touch her stomach, listen to the fetus, or try to feel it kick. Because Mr. AUen had shown no interest in her pregnancy and because Ms. Farrow believed him to be squeamish about the delivery process, her friend Casey Pascal acted as her Lamaze coach.

  A few months into the pregnancy, Ms. Farrow began to withdraw from Mr. Allen. After Satchel's birth, which occurred on December 19, 1987, she grew more distant from Mr. Allen. Ms. Farrow's attention to Satchel also reduced the time she had available for Dylan. Mr. Allen began to spend more time with Dylan and to intensify his relationship with her.

  By then, Ms. Farrow had become concerned with Mr. Allen's behavior toward Dylan. During a trip to Paris, when Dylan was between two and three years old, Ms. Farrow told Mr. Allen that "[y]ou look at her [Dylan] in a sexual way. You fondled her. It's not natural. You're all over her. You don't give her any breathing room. You look at her when she's naked."

  Her apprehension was fueled by the intensity of the attention Mr. Allen lavished on Dylan, and by his spending play-time in bed with her, by his reading to her in his bed while dressed in his undershorts, and by his permitting her to suck on his thumb.

  Ms. Farrow testified that Mr. Allen was overly attentive and demanding ot Dyl
an's time and attention. He was aggressively affectionate, providing her with little space of her own and with no respect for the integrity of her body. Ms. Farrow, Casey Pascal, Sophie Raven (Dylan's French tutor), and Dr. Coates testified that Mr. Allen focused on Dylan to the exclusion of her siblings, even when Satchel and Moses were present.

  In June 1990, the parties became concerned with Satchel's behavior and took him to see Dr. Coates, with whom he then began treatment. At Dr. Coates' request, both parents participated in Satchel's treatment. In the fall of 1990, the parties asked Dr. Coates to evaluate Dylan to determine if she needed therapy. During the course of the evaluation, Ms. Farrow expressed her concern to Dr. Coates that Mr. Allen's behavior with Dylan was not appropriate. Dr. Coates observed:

  I understood why she was worried, because it [Mr. Allen's relationship with Dylan] was intense, ... I did not see it as sexual, but I saw it as inappropriately intense because it excluded everybody else, and it placed a demand on a child for a kind of acknowledgment that I felt should not be placed on a child . . .

  She testified that she worked with Mr. Allen to help him to understand that his behavior with Dylan was inappropriate and that it had to be modified. Dr. Coates also recommended that Dylan enter therapy with Dr. Schultz, with whom Dylan began treatment in April 1991.

  In 1991, Ms. Farrow expressed a desire to adopt another

  child. Mr. Allen, who had begun to believe that Ms. Farrow was growing more remote from him and that she might discontinue his access to Dylan, said that he would not take "a lousy attitude towards it" if, in return, Ms. Farrow would sponsor his adoption of Dylan and Moses. She said that she agreed after Mr. Allen assured her that "he would not take Dylan for sleep-overs . . . unless I was there. And that if, God forbid, anything should happen to our relationship, that he would never seek custody." The adoptions were concluded in December 1991.

  Until 1990, although he had had little contact with any of the Previn children, Mr. Allen had the least to do with Soon-Yi. "She was someone who didn't like me. I had no interest in her, none whatsoever. She was a quiet person who did her work. I never spoke to her." In 1990, Mr. Allen, who had four season tickets to the New York Knicks basketball games, was asked by Soon-Yi if she could go to a game. Mr. Allen agreed.

  During the following weeks, when Mr. Allen visited Ms. Farrow's home, he would say hello to Soon-Yi, "which is something I never did in the years prior, but no conversations with her or anything."

  Soon-Yi attended more basketball games with Mr. Allen. He testified that "gradually, after the basketball association, we became more friendly. She opened up to me more." By 1991 they were discussing her interests in modeling, art, and psychology. She spoke of her hopes and other aspects of her life.

  In September 1991, Soon-Yi entered Drew College in New Jersey. She was naive, socially inexperienced and vulnerable. Mr. Allen testified that she was lonely and unhappy at school, and that she began to speak daily with him by telephone. She spent most weekends at home with Ms. Farrow. There is no evidence that Soon-Yi told Ms. Farrow either that she was lonely or that she had been in daily communication with Mr. AUen.

  On January 13, 1992, while in Mr. Allen's apartment, Ms. Farrow discovered six nude photographs of Soon-Yi which had been left on a mantelpiece. She is posed reclming on a couch with her legs spread apart. Ms. Farrow telephoned Mr. Allen to confront him with her discovery of the photographs.

  Ms. Farrow returned home, showed the photographs to Soon-Yi and said, "What have you done?" She left the room before Soon-Yi answered. During the following weekend, Ms. Farrow hugged Soon-Yi and said that she loved her and did not blame her. Shortlv thereafter, Ms. Farrow asked Soon-Yi how long she had been seeing Mr. Allen. When Soon-Yi referred to her sexual relationship with Mr. Allen, Ms. Farrow hit her on the side of the face and on the shoulders.^ Ms. Farrow also told her older children what she had learned.

  After receiving Ms. Farrow's telephone call, Mr. Allen went to her apartment where, he said, he found her to be "ragingly angry." She begged him to leave. She testified that:

  [w]hen he finally left, he came back less than an hour later, and I was sitting at the table. By then, all of the children were there . . . and it was a rather silent meal. The little ones were chatting and he walked right in and he sat right down at the table as if nothing had happened and starts chatting with . . . the two little ones, said hi to everybody. And one by one the children [Lark, Daisy, Fletcher, Moses and Sascha] took their plates and left. And I'd, 1 didn't know what to do. And then 1 went out.

  Within the month, both parties retained counsel and attempted to negotiate a settlement of their differences. In an effort to pacify Ms. Farrow, Mr. Allen told her that he was no

  ' Ms. Farrow hai commenced an action in the Surrogate's Court to vacate Mr. Allen's adoption of Dylan and Moses. In that procecdtng, she contends that Mr. Allen began a secret affair with Soon-Yi prior to the date of the adoption. This issue has been reserved for consideration by the Surrogate and has not been addressed by me.

  longer seeing Soon-Yi. This was untrue. A temporary arrangement enabled Mr. Allen to visit regularly with Dylan and Satchel but they were not permitted to visit at his residence. In addition, Ms. Farrow asked for his assurance that he would not seek custody of Moses, Dylan or Satchel.

  On February 3, 1992, both parties signed documents in which it was agreed that Mr. Allen would waive custodial rights to Moses, Dylan and Satchel if Ms. Farrow predeceased him. On the same day, Mr. Allen signed a second document, which he did not reveal to Ms. Farrow, in which he disavowed the waiver, claiming that it was a product of duress and coercion and stating that "I have no intention of abiding by it and have been advised that it will not hold up legally and that at worst I can revoke it unilaterally at will."

  In February 1992, Ms. Farrow gave Mr. Allen a family picture Valentine with skewers through the hearts of the children and a knife through the heart of Ms. Farrow. She also defaced and destroyed several photographs of Mr. Allen and of Soon-Yi.

  In July 1992, Ms. Farrow had a birthday party for Dylan at her Connecticut home. Mr. Allen came and monopolized Dylan's time and attention. After Mr. Allen retired to the guest room for the night, Ms. Farrow affixed to his bathroom door, a note which called Mr. Allen a child molester. The reference was to his affair with Soon-Yi.

  In the summer of 1992, Soon-Yi was employed as a camp counselor. During the third week of July, she telephoned Ms. Farrow to tell her that she had quit her job. She reftised to tell Ms. Farrow where she was staying. A few days later, Ms. Farrow received a letter from the camp advising her that:

  [it] is with sadness and regret that we had to ask Soon-Yi to leave camp midway through the first camp session. . . . Throughout the entire orientation period and continuing during camp, Soon-Yi was constantly involved with telephone calls. Phone

  calls from a gentleman whose name is Mr. Simon seemed to be her primary focus and this definitely detracted from her concentration on being a counselor.

  Mr. Simon was Woody Allen.

  On August 4, 1992, Mr. Allen travelled to Ms. Farrow's Connecticut vacation home to spend time with his children. Earlier in the day, Casey Pascal had come for a visit with her three young children and their babysitter, Alison Stickland. Ms. Farrow and Ms. Pascal were shopping when Mr. Allen arrived. Those present were Ms. Pascal's three children; Ms. Stickland; Kristie Groteke, a babysitter employed by Ms. Farrow; Sophie Berge, a French tutor for the children; Dylan; and Satchel.

  Ms. Farrow had previously instructed Ms. Groteke that Mr. Allen was not to be left alone with Dylan. For a period of fifteen or twenty minutes during the afternoon, Ms. Groteke was unable to locate Mr. Allen or Dylan. After looking for them in the house, she assumed that they were outside with the others. But neither Ms. Berge nor Ms. Stickland was with Mr. Allen or Dylan. Ms. Groteke made no mention of this to Ms. Farrow on August 4.

  During a different portion of the day, Ms. Stickland went to the television room in search of one of
Ms. Pascal's children. She observed Mr. Allen kneeling in front of Dylan with his head on her lap, facing her body. Dylan was sitting on the couch staring vacantly in the direction of a television set.

  After Ms. Farrow returned home, Ms. Berge noticed that Dylan was not wearing anything under her sundress. She told Ms. Farrow, who asked Ms. Groteke to put underpants on Dylan.

  Ms. Stickland testified that during the evening of August 4, she told Ms. Pascal, "I had seen something at Mia's that day that was bothering me." She revealed what she had seen in the television room. On August 5, Ms. Pascal telephoned Ms.

  Farrow to tell her what Ms. Stickland had observed. Ms. Farrow testified that after she hung up the telephone, she asked Dylan, who was sitting next to her, "whether it was true that daddy had his face in her lap yesterday." Ms. Farrow testified:

  Dylan said yts. And then she said that she didn't like it one bit, no, he was breathing into her, into her legs, she said. And that he was holding her around the waist and I said, why didn't you get up and she said she tried to but that he put his hands underneath her and touched her. And she showed me where . . . Her behind.

  Because she was already uncomfortable with Mr. Allen's inappropriate behavior toward Dylan and because she believed that her concerns were not being taken seriously enough by Dr. Schultz and Dr. Coates, Ms. Farrow videotaped Dylan's statements. Over the next twenty-four hours, Dylan told Ms. Farrow that she had been with Mr. Allen in the attic and that he had touched her privates with his finger.