The Pink Dress

by Anne Alexander

  “A figure of speech.” Mom smiled at Dave. “And don’t worry. Sue won’t disgrace you.”

  Sue gave Mom an annoyed look. Every once in a while Mom went too far with her humor.

  By the time Dave came to pick her up the next evening, Sue wondered if Mom had meant to be funny, or if she’d been seriously trying to give Sue—and Dave—self-confidence. Even trying to decide what to wear had sent Sue into a tizzy. The pink dress seemed just the thing—until she remembered Dave’s shocked face at the idea of a party. She finally decided on a blouse and skirt. If only she could do and say the right things. This dinner meant so much to Dave.

  Sue applied her Pink Perfection lipstick carefully. She eyed her reflection with disgust. If only the warm spring sunshine didn’t give her so many freckles. She looked like a—like a speckled trout. And who could be proud of bringing a speckled trout home for dinner—unless it was to eat? Poor Dave, stuck with bringing a fish to dinner.

  “Be back early,” Mom reminded them as she opened the front door.

  “Eight o’clock,” Dave promised. And then they were walking—toward Dave’s.

  “What—what’s she like? Alison, I mean.” Sue tried desperately for the familiar feeling of ease.

  “Well—uh—I guess she’s sort of pretty.” Dave seemed floundering for words. “Of course, she’s pretty fat.”

  “Your dad, what’s he like—really?”

  “What do you mean ‘really’? He’s just a guy with two arms and legs, a head with a mouth and two eyes and. . . Sorry, Sue.” Dave’s eyes were unhappy as he looked down on her. He seemed to be getting unhappier with every step. He resented this dinner date. And Sue could feel apprehension mount within her. Dave—as he’d been lately—was lots of fun. But she could still recall that he’d been downright rude on occasions. Was this the way he’d be tonight?

  By the time they reached Dave’s house, Sue was ready to break away and run back to the security of home with Mom and Dad. She stood at the front door, nervously smoothing down her skirt. Dave opened the door. “We’re here,” he called. He ushered Sue into the hall.

  The kitchen door swung open, and Sue saw a young woman hurry to meet them.

  “Alison, this is Sue,” Dave introduced. “Sue, this is my stepmother.”

  “Hello, Mrs. Young.” Sue tried hard for a relaxed smile as she proffered her hand.

  “I’m glad you could come, Sue.” Sue could feel Mrs. Young’s hand tremble as she took hers. Why—why, she was scared. Mrs. Young was even more nervous than Sue and Dave were. She turned to Dave. “Your dad phoned. He’s sorry that he had to be a few minutes late.”

  “He would,” Dave muttered under his breath.

  Sue looked quickly at Mrs. Young, wondering if she’d heard. Her face was flushed and Sue knew she had.

  “Would you like to wait in the living room—or watch TV in the den?” Mrs. Young asked.

  “Can’t I help—in the kitchen? Mom says I’m pretty good—sometimes.” As soon as she’d said the words Sue wished she could recall them. Maybe Mrs. Young was one of those people who hated to have guests in the kitchen.

  “Why——” Mrs. Young hesitated only the briefest moment. “Surely you may, Sue,” she said, and flashed a welcoming smile. “Maybe Dave would like to help too.”

  “Not me.” Dave settled himself on the kitchen stool and folded his arms, while Sue busied herself with the salad. Dave hadn’t been kidding when he said his stepmother was pretty. She was practically beautiful. And as for being fat . . . well, she was wearing a smock, and it probably wouldn’t be too long before Dave had a brother or sister. Half brother or sister, Sue corrected herself. Could that be another reason Dave was so resentful?

  The small talk was very small, Sue decided as she arranged slices of avocado and oranges on the lettuce leaves. And Dave wasn’t helping at all as he sat glowering on the stool. It was with relief she heard the front door open, and Dave’s dad walked into the kitchen. He gave his wife a hearty kiss before he turned for introductions. Sue was shocked at the look of pain and aversion on Dave’s face as he shifted his gaze from them to her.

  The four of them were soon seated at the dinner table. Alison had worked hard to make the dinner a perfect one. Tiny biscuits with the salad. A table set to perfection. If only they could all relax. Sue found herself answering questions in sentences of no more than three words. When Mrs. Young got up to remove the salad plates, Sue jumped up, eager to help, to get away from Mr. Young’s gaze just a minute or two. As she did, her arm knocked against her glass of milk, and to her horror she saw it spill across the biscuits and over the tablecloth.

  “Oh no.” Sue stood aghast as the milk spread in an ever-widening circle. She turned her stricken gaze on Dave. “I’m sorry,” she said. If only Dave would forgive her this mess.

  His face was scarlet. “Remember,” he said, and he choked, and Sue realized he was struggling against laughter. “Remember,” he continued, “how I goofed with the tomato—and Kit spilled her milk?” And then the laughter he’d struggled to control came out in big gasps.

  Sue could feel the corners of her mouth twitch as she felt the giggles swell up in her throat. She mopped at the spilt milk, feverously trying to control her giggles.

  “My goodness, Sue, it’s nothing,” Mrs. Young said as she mopped along with Sue. “Once I spilled tea down a teacher’s back.”

  With that Sue burst into laughter, and soon the four of them were laughing in almost a chorus. And as if by magic—milk magic—the air was cleared.

  The rest of the evening raced by, and Sue was surprised and sorry when Dave said “Gee, it’s eight already. And I promised your mother, Sue.”

  “It’s been fun getting to know you, Sue,” Mr. Young said as he clasped her hand warmly in his. “You’re the first friend Dave’s brought home since—since we moved here.”

  Mrs. Young’s smile was tremulous as she added her good-bys, and Sue was somehow reminded of Kit. She leaned over impulsively and kissed Mrs. Young on the cheek. “Thanks,” she said. “Thanks for a lovely evening.” And then she was hurrying down the stairs, her hand in Dave’s.

  “I like them,” she told Dave. “They’re fun.”

  “Yeah. Dad’s a nice guy.”

  “I like her, too,” Sue insisted. “She’s darling.”

  “She’s just showing off.” Dave’s voice had a belligerent note in it. “She makes it look as if we’re friends.” His face was set in stubborn lines. “But I’ve got her number. And I let her know every day that my mom still isn’t forgotten.”.

  “Oh, Dave.”

  “You think I’m silly?”

  “No. Cruel. How could she forget?”

  “She’s having a baby—to make Dad forget.”

  “No. I don’t think so.” Sue thought her words out carefully. “She’s having it for a—a sort of fresh start. And I’m glad.”

  “First my dad—and now you.” Dave sounded bitter.

  “Look, Dave.” Sue groped for the right things to say. “I didn’t know your mother. But I know she was wonderful—because she had you. But Alison is trying. Not to be your mother. But to be your friend. I can tell.”

  “Okay, okay, let’s forget it. Maybe you’re right.” Dave’s voice suddenly softened. “What I want to ask you—will your parents let you go to the Jay Dee party Judy’s giving? It’s a date party, you know.”

  Sue felt herself suddenly tense. The Jay Dee party. It could be fun—just as the Jay Dees had been fun. Mom and Dad would say yes, Sue was sure, providing the party was properly chaperoned. But at Judy’s house! She really didn’t have much choice about the party actually. It was a Jay Dee doing, wasn’t it? If only it weren’t at Judy’s. Judy—the initiation—and Chester’s suit came strongly to mind. Now—now was the time to ask.

  “Dave,” she said. “Promise you’ll tell me something I want to know.”

  “I promise.” Dave looked as though he were laughing at her.

  “What happened to Chest
er’s Sunday suit?”

  “What?”

  “What happened to Chester’s suit?”

  Sue felt Dave’s hand stiffen as he held hers. “What do you mean, what happened to his suit?”

  “Just that.”

  “Why not ask him?”

  “I did—and I asked Ricky. It has something to do with Judy and no one tells me anything.”

  “I won’t either. Except to say all that’s past. And it wasn’t too bad.”

  “You promised.”

  “Look, Sue. I can’t break a promise to keep a promise. So forget it.” Dave’s voice was hard.

  “But, Dave.”

  “Forget it, Sue.” His voice broke slightly. “Only remember this. I’ll never let anything—not anything—ever happen to hurt you.” And he held her hand as if he would never let it go.

  That night, as Sue tried vainly to fall asleep, the three boys and their voices seemed to circle around and around in her mind.

  “Go away” said Chester, and his eyes were fear-filled.

  “Stay away” Ricky repeated.

  “Forget it” said Dave.

  So—it was something over and past. Maybe she should forget it. But anxiety didn’t go away when you told it to. It stayed, like—like the gnawing pain in her side. It got dull, sometimes. And for long times she’d forget it. And then it would be a sharp, stabbing thing. Maybe she should mention to Mom about the pain sometimes. If only she could tell Dad about the worry.

  13.

  First Kiss

  The day started in a perfectly ordinary fashion, this day of Judy’s party. Classes, study, the same dull routine. By the end of the lunch hour, however, Sue could feel the excitement well in her.

  “It’s going to be super,” Judy announced. “The best, the most different party ever.”

  Sue and Maxine were sitting a little apart from the rest of the Jay Dees, who were standing in a group, talking.

  “Have you ever been to Judy’s parties?” Sue asked.

  “Uh huh! They’re really good.” Maxine’s round face beamed. “Last time we played kissing games.”

  “Oh.”

  “Haven’t you ever played kissing games?”

  Sue shook her head. It would be downright embarrassing to admit she hadn’t even been to a boy-girl party since Ricky’s mother had taken them to the beach way back in fifth grade.

  “I even got to kiss Dave,” Maxine announced triumphantly.

  Sue tried hard not to let resentment show on her face. She didn’t like the idea of Dave kissing girls. Why, he’d never even tried to kiss her. Not that she’d let him, but at least he could have tried. She wondered what it would be like—kissing Dave.

  “Judy says that stuff is childish,” Maxine said. “Kissing games are out. She’s planned something even better.”

  Sue turned her head to hear what Judy was saying. “We’ll have the rumpus room to ourselves,” Judy declared. She turned to Sue. “You’re coming for sure?”

  Sue nodded. “Dave’s picking me up.”

  “Good.” Judy gave Maxine a broad wink. “It wouldn’t be a party—without Sue, would it?” She patted Sue patronizingly on the shoulder, laughed, and turned back to the other girls.

  As Sue sat in class that afternoon she had a hard time concentrating on her studies. That laugh of Judy’s! Was it friendly—or ridiculing? Was Sue going to be the butt of a joke. “I wont let anyone hurt you” Dave had promised. Did humiliation come under the heading of hurt?

  Sue felt as though her stomach was tied in a knot. She tried to relax. She shouldn’t get so worried. After all, Judy’s parents would be around. She rested her face against her palm. Her hands were icy—or was it just that her face was so hot. The knot in her stomach was an ache that felt better when she bent way over her desk. If she told Mom and Dad how odd she felt they wouldn’t let her go. And she’d promised Dave. If only Dave wouldn’t be disappointed in her at the party.

  Sue was glad Dave just walked her to the front door after school.

  “I’m tired,” she told Mom. “May I take a nap?”

  Mom’s surprised look almost made Sue giggle, except that nothing seemed very funny. “A good idea,” Mom agreed.

  Sue set her hair in pin curls, then crawled into bed. It felt good: warm and secure, and she was being positively stupid, feeling this way before a party.

  She woke up just before dinner, feeling a little better. She ate her food determinedly, hoping it would quell the queasy feeling she had.

  “Susie’s pink,” Jay announced as she ate her ice cream.

  Mom looked at her sharply. “You are flushed, dear. Feel okay?”

  Dad placed his hand on Sue’s forehead. “A little warm, maybe,” he said. “Excited over the party, I guess.”

  Sue was glad to get away from the table to take her shower and get ready. Mom had the pink dress neatly pressed and hanging from the light bracket. After her shower, Sue patted herself liberally with Mom’s favorite bath powder. She wrapped her robe around her and hurried back to her room. Jay and Kit were sitting cross-legged on her bed.

  “We came to see you get pretty,” Kit said.

  “And Mom says to hurry,” Jay finished.

  Sue hurried into her underwear. She bent over to put on her shoes.

  “Pink Sue,” said Jay. “Pink-pink Sue.”

  She straightened up suddenly to look in the mirror, then bent forward quickly. The pain in her stomach became a sharp jab in her side. She straightened up, slowly this time. She gazed at her reflection. Yes, she was a pink-pink. Her freckles didn’t even show. That’s what happened when you took hot, hot showers. A sudden chill shook her. The room seemed so cold by contrast.

  Kit was delighted to zip Sue into her dress. Now she felt good. Now she looked just right. Even her eyes looked extra bright and shiny. Was this what people meant when they said you had stars in your eyes? It was ridiculous to get so excited, so worked up over a mere party. If only Ellen and Cathy would be there. And Ricky and Chester. But no, there would be just The Crowd. Maxine, Laura, Judy, Dave, Mo . . . Sue hated Mo even though he seemed to be Dave’s best friend. He wore his hair too long, his pants too low. And there was an insolent air about him that made Sue want to slap his face. Oh well, he’d be with Judy. And Dave would be with her.

  “Ready, Sue?” Mom poked her head around the door. “Dave’s already here.”

  “In a second.” Hurriedly Sue removed the bobby pins and brushed her hair. She applied her Pink Perfection lipstick in even, sure strokes, then dropped it into her purse. Kit held out Mom’s most exclusive bottle of perfume, and after Sue dabbed some behind her ears and on her wrists, she put a drop or two on Kit. She turned slowly before the mirror and Mom. “Okay?”

  “Lovely, dear.”

  Dave was waiting in the entrance hall as Sue descended the stairs with Mom, Kit, and Jay trailing her. She read the approval in his eyes as he helped her into her sweater.

  “I’ll pick you up at eleven,” called Dad as she and Dave walked out the door.

  “Thank you, sir.” Dave reached for Sue’s hand as they walked down the sidewalk. She felt so proud, walking along beside him. If only she didn’t feel so . . . so tired.

  Music blared from Judy’s home when they arrived. The party was already in full swing. They stopped for a moment at the entrance to the rumpus room. The shades were drawn, and one small lamp made only a soft circle of light. It was hard to discern the other couples.

  “You’re the last here,” greeted Maxine. “You look cute,” she added.

  “Sue always looks nice in that dress.” Judy laughed. “Every time she wears it.”

  Sue flushed. The way Judy said it made it sound as though she wore the pink dress every day.

  “It’s my favorite,” said Dave, unaware, apparently, that Judy’s remark had been a cut, not a compliment. “Let’s dance.”

  Sue dropped her sweater and purse on the table beside the davenport and slipped into Dave’s arms. Someone had turned
down the volume on the record player, and the music was slow and dreamy. They moved slowly, rhythmically around the floor. It felt so right to be dancing with Dave. Sue wondered how she could have been so nervous those few short weeks ago at the Peppermint Prom.

  “How’s my cutie-pie?” Dave murmured, and Sue knew he didn’t mean Kit this time.

  “Fine,” she said. And she was fine, except for the nagging pain that had now turned into a jabbing one.

  Occasionally she and Dave paused in their dancing to talk a moment or two with another couple. Sue noticed that Judy and Mo were dancing—if you could call it dancing—in the corner. She had her arms around his” neck, and his were tight around her waist. They looked as though they were in a perpetual Hollywood embrace, and Sue felt embarrassed for them. She wondered what Judy’s parents would say if they were to come in. But Judy apparently meant what she said when she’d announced they’d promised not to get in her hair. Sue knew that Mom and Dad would at least have been at the door at the party’s start to meet and greet all the guests. She gave a mental shrug. At least, if this was what Judy meant by a super party, Sue could agree.

  The room was getting hotter and stuffier by the moment. Sue wished someone would open another window or the door. Maybe she could ask Dave. But before she got the chance, someone put on a fast record and Dave swung her out onto the floor. In and out, back and forth they went. Dave grinned at her and winked. He was proud of her. Sue twirled under his arm and felt her pink dress swish around her knees. This was really good. Dave grasped both her hands and swung her to him. As she swung out again, a dagger of pain hit her side and she almost doubled over. She caught her breath sharply. “Let’s sit down,” she gasped, almost unable to straighten up.

  “What’s the matter?” Dave asked as she sank to the davenport.

  “I don’t know.” Sue could feel beads of perspiration cold on her forehead. She felt scared. Never in her whole life had she felt so horrible.

  “Do you want a Coke or something?”

  Sue shuddered. Anything sweet would be terrible. “Water, maybe,” she said.

  As Dave moved across the room, Maxine sat down beside Sue. “Lend me your lipstick,” she said. “I forgot mine.”