‘At least he saved his daughter from prison,’ he commented, staring at the only woman, now the only person, who dared to argue with him – refreshing as it was, he dearly wished it was on another subject.
‘Hah! She’d have been better off in there than what they did to her.’ Was Rose’s only response, unaware as she was of Nathan’s other train of thought on this debate.
‘Be that as it may, this has no bearing on the present mission and complications that Daniels’ involvement will no doubt bring.’
‘He will deliver.’
‘You’d better see that he does,’ Nathan declared with an element of finality in his tone that Rose had long since learned to detect; not that she always paid it any mind, but this was an occasion where she knew that holding her tongue was the best option.
With a curt nod Rose turned and left, allowing Nathan to return to his thoughts. They were far from encouraging and not for the first time did he wonder at the merits of what they were embarking on. This knowledge, but more importantly the evidence, which Daniels was collecting for them, could change everything and not just for the government, but for the Republic as a whole – no one’s life would be the same again. Did he really have the right to do that?
Chapter Seven
Sitting alone in the nav. room, contemplating the position he had arrived at, brought Ben back to another time that had so many parallels with now. So much was hanging in the balance now, as it did then. He stared at the wall opposite him; the only thing separating him from the blue oblivion of the unforgiving ocean. That ocean was once the only companion he had; they were so alike: lifeless, unfeeling, brooding and dark. Was he back there again? Had these last few years been nothing but prolonging the inevitable? Was this all there was for him? Were his happiness and his life to be forfeit for the mistakes he had made when he was young, foolish and horribly naïve – hadn’t he been punished enough?
***
Down the passageway lay another tortured soul, also gazing into oblivion; though her feelings of wretchedness were less easily explained. Zhe looked down at herself; a slave girl was all she saw, along with a life of torture and suffering. When a child is told from infancy of their worthlessness, it seems to them to be the gospel truth; after all, what slave is worth anything. Yet, the captain insisted she was much more than that. But this was not what troubled her, making her unable to sleep. No, she had heard those lies before, from others who had given no more than false hope to her and cheap entertainment to themselves.
As she lay there, still and barely breathing in her own bed, she was with neither her master nor any other man; this was a rare gift she could barely remember and one that should encourage peaceful rest, and yet sleep remained a stranger. A feeling had begun to grow within her, so foreign and disturbing; it was as if she was that woman who stood proudly next to the captain as his wife, and not the slave girl she really was. It was almost as if she had glimpsed the life she could have had: a life where she was worth something, where people cared for and about her, where her opinions, wants and needs mattered. But no, that was just a fantasy and a dangerous one at that. She remembered only too well what had happened when she was foolish enough to believe in that fantasy. Zhe shuddered under the blankets, as if trying to rid her mind and body of those memories. Resolutely, she turned onto her side, closed her eyes, slowed her breathing and concentrated on nothing, an empty blackness, in the hope of finding the sleep she so desperately craved. To sleep without nightmares, though, was a fantasy she dared not hope for.
***
Everyone had their refuges on the sub, somewhere they could go and not be unnecessarily disturbed; true privacy on the Coelacanth was impossible, but each would do their best to give whatever measure of privacy they could to each other. Times of peaceful cruising were so few and far between that they each treasured them. This time though, peaceful is hardly what Simon would call this waiting period. He knew, just as the others did, that those disks were bad news. He leaned back in his chair in the chop shop, staring at the only picture of his wife he had. He tried to imagine how she looked right now, swollen belly and all. That thought made him smile, but, at the same time, he felt a sense of solemn conviction settle within him. He knew right then that, whatever was on those disks, he would see it made right; he just couldn’t let his little girl grow up as he had. For having gone through the “system” as he had, he knew without one shred of a doubt that the Guild would only interfere if the government was significantly weakened or overthrown – that way there'd be no reprisals. A new government meant a new way of life; he had heard some say “better the devil you know”, but he knew the devils of this system inside and out, and if change was being offered, he'd be there to see it done. The Republic had stood for long enough.
***
Screams pierced the silence that had descended over the Coelacanth. It was as if the sub herself had been waiting for these ear-piercing shrieks, for now the foreboding was gone, shattered into a thousand shards. Simon was the first to react, sliding down the central access ladder to the cabins directly below the chop shop. He had almost felt the screams come up through the floor. He skidded to a halt outside the spare cabin that Zhe was using as Ben came careering down the passageway, leaving a startled Sophie working on the disks in the control room.
Ben raised a hand as if to knock, but, as another scream tore out of the cabin, he abandoned all sense of civility, and burst into the cabin with Simon close behind and Duncan racing up the access ladder.
Inside, the scene was all that could have been rationally expected: Zhe was alone, tangled in sheets and crying out through her nightmare. However, with recent events and the ominous feeling that had filled the Coelacanth and her crew, those bloodcurdling screams had chased rationality from the minds of the two men who stood gasping in Zhe’s hatchway, grateful that she was not being attacked as they had thought only moments ago. Ben wasted no more time in going over to the bed, barely even looking around as Duncan came to a stop next to Simon in the hatchway and turned the lights up a notch.
‘Zhe!’ he all but shouted at her as he neared the bed. Now the adrenaline had faded, he was acutely aware of the fact that he had no idea how to handle this. If it were anyone else, he would have shaken them awake, but he knew how Zhe would react to that; just standing over her was enough to send her off the deep end. He sighed, sitting on the edge of her bed.
‘Zhe,’ he called again, this time shaking her shoulder, which produced an unexpected result; Ben barely managed to dodge the fist that came flying at his face.
‘What the hell?’ Ben’s exclamation was echoed by Simon and Duncan, who watched as Zhe proceeded to rain down blows on their captain.
‘Zhe! Get a hold of yourself woman!’ His shouts varied in coherency and language as Ben tried to defend himself without hurting her, but she was so deep in her nightmare he knew she couldn’t have heard him.
‘Do you think we should…’
‘No. She’ll come round in a minute and having one man leaning over her will cause her enough anguish, never mind three.’ Duncan quickly halted Simon’s train of thought.
‘True,’ Simon murmured, turning back to see Ben finally give up on just dodging punches. He was now sitting behind Zhe with his arms wrapped around her, trapping her arms to her sides. She was still struggling valiantly, but he could see the fight was leaving her. Simon winced just thinking about what was going to happen when she woke up.
‘Hey,’ Duncan whispered, nudging him, ‘let’s go before the real drama starts.’
Ben felt Zhe stir in his arms and glanced towards the hatch, in time to see his first mate nod at him and usher Simon out of the cabin. For that he was immensely thankful, this was going to be hard enough without an audience.
‘Zhe?’ he called softly as she slowly came around. He knew the moment she fully regained conscious by her stiffening in his arms. Quickly, he loosened his hold.<
br />
‘It’s all right, you were having a nightmare. Thought you were gonna do yourself some harm,’ he explained quickly before she got any ideas of her own. ‘Hell knows you tried to do me some,’ he added under his breath, but not quietly enough, he realised, as he saw her stiffen again.
‘No real harm done, though. Are you all right?’
Zhe just nodded, causing Ben to roll his eyes.
‘You sure about that?’ he pressed, while moving around so he was sitting on the side of the bed with his legs on the floor. Much less intimidating, he thought.
Once again, she just nodded.
‘Hmm, I had a feeling that would be the case. Although that did sound to me like a helluva dream you were living just there,’ Ben observed, causing Zhe to shudder and glance around the cabin into the shadows, as if expecting something or someone to come out of them at her. Ben looked down at her in shock as he felt her move closer to him during her examination of the room. Zhe seemed to realise her actions at the same moment and looked up at him causing the first eye contact she had made since before she could remember.
Ben took a deep breath, knowing this could be a bad idea, but feeling compelled to ask. ‘Do you want me to stay, till you fall asleep again?’ he asked softly.
Zhe bit her lip, glancing once more about the cabin. She nodded swiftly and huddled back under the covers before she could change her mind.
Ben watched as Zhe huddled under the covers after her fugitive glances around the room. He couldn’t help but wonder just what horrors haunted her. Although, at the same time, he felt something akin to pride that she felt, at least on some level, that she could turn to him for protection, which then brought him back to what she needed protection from. He had met slaves before, but none had behaved like Zhe; there was such fear and horror in her every look, but then something wouldn’t ring true about her behaviour. There was something distinctly unsettling about her, Ben decided. These thoughts took no more than a few moments to pass through Ben’s mind as he glanced down at the shaking bundle of blankets. With a sigh, he realised that it was going to take a long while for Zhe to go back to sleep. With that thought, he toed off his boots, swung his legs back onto the bed and rested his back against the wall. He paused for a moment, but decided that if either of them were going to get any sleep tonight, then this was the best plan. With a firm nod to himself, he pulled Zhe onto his lap and gently held her until she relaxed slightly, as he rubbed circles on her back and unconsciously began to hum. As Zhe fully relaxed and actually snuggled against him, Ben was thrown back to a time when another had snuggled into him as he hummed her to sleep.
***
‘Ben! Ben! Benjy!’
‘Shh, shh honey. I’m here. I’m here,’ Ben soothed, reaching to gently pry off the small hands that had a death grip on his shirt.
‘I… I… it…’
‘Shh, it’s okay, Suzie. I’m here now,’ he whispered softly, wrapping his arms around his trembling sister.
***
‘Ben!’ Ben jerked awake at the sound of his name to find his first mate staring down at him with an amused smirk on his face.
Unfortunately, while Duncan achieved his goal of waking Ben, and enjoying the rare sight of his captain confused and somewhat disorientated, he also caused the woman in his arms to jerk awake and for her that was a bit more of a traumatic experience. For Zhe, finding herself in bed with a man whose arms were wrapped tightly around her had never meant anything good.
‘Whoa, whoa, easy Zhe – I’m not hurting you,’ Ben told her, deliberately keeping his voice soft and calm as he felt her start to panic, all the while shooting a glare over her shoulder at Duncan for causing her this extra distress.
‘Sorry Ben… Zhe. Captain, you’re needed up on the bridge when you have a… moment Captain,’ Duncan muttered before leaving, realising that he'd done more harm than he'd anticipated. He hadn’t been able to resist seeing them all cuddled up like that; he had thought that maybe they had come to some sort of understanding, but it seemed that he was wrong. Although, how they could be all tangled up like that without an understanding he didn’t know, especially not with how Zhe had run scared at the mere mention of his name.
While Duncan left to contemplate what he had done, Ben was left to deal with what he had caused.
‘Shh, easy there, Zhe,’ he murmured again as he watched Duncan disappear through the hatch, shutting it behind him.
‘I take it you don’t remember last night, huh… I mean the nightmare you had.’ He rushed to explain as he felt her tense up again, ‘You damn near screamed the sub awake and I offered to stay with you till you fell asleep… guess I fell asleep too.’
Zhe listened to Ben’s explanation for how they had ended in bed together, gradually feeling herself relax as it rang true. Now she was more awake, she remembered the fear of the nightmare and how she felt safe in his arms as he tried to comfort her. She would never have believed it if she hadn’t felt it herself the night before. She never thought she would lie in a bed with a man and not be required to perform some service for him. To feel so safe and have a night free from the nightmares was something she barely allowed herself to dream of. A further testimony to how safe she felt was the small fact that it was only now that she realised she still lay in his arms.
Almost afraid to look up, but her need to know what he was thinking was too strong, she risked a glance up. What she saw meant more to her than she could say. He was looking down at her, with such concern and perhaps a little fear of what her reaction would be. He cared. He actually cared. Slowly, she felt her face curve up into a shy smile; the answering grin that crossed Ben’s face warmed her in a way she hadn’t felt before.
Ben dropped a kiss on her forehead as he reluctantly pulled his arms back from around her and slowly got up.
‘I’d better see what was so important that Duncan felt the need to barge in here,’ he told her as she watched him pull his boots on.
She nodded her understanding a little less hesitantly than before. As the hatch shut behind him, she fell back onto the bed and smiled. She couldn’t believe it. But then, what would happen now? That lone, terrible thought stopped her dead. What will he expect from her now? What…? Her mind raced with the possibilities. No. She told herself firmly that she wasn’t going to go down that route; not now and not with him. With that firmly set in her mind, she got up and decided to face the day.
***
Facing the day himself, or maybe facing the shift was a better way to term it, Blue mused, what with there being no real difference between night and day. The day was supposed to be brighter, he thought, vaguely remembering the stories his grandfather had told him about the world above. Yes, that was it: the day started with the sun coming up and the night with the moon. Why they still stuck with those terms after all these years he had never known – something comforting about tradition maybe? He shrugged to himself and set about repairing the torpedo bay; what with Sophie’s nice, smooth piloting it was bent somewhat out of shape and Blue had a feeling that they would be needing all the help they could get.
‘Simon?’ Blue asked in surprise. He'd been welding a plate over the inside of the torpedo bay when he got the distinct impression he was being watched. Lowering the torch, he turned to find Simon just standing there, staring.
‘Did you need something, lad?’ Blue asked when no response from his first entreaty was forthcoming.
Simon just shrugged, ‘Not really.’
‘Ah.’ Blue nodded, turning back to his work. Fortunately, there was more than just welding to be done; he could continue quietly till the younger man was ready to give up whatever was bothering him.
It wasn’t long before Simon progressed to fidgeting, picking up many of the tools surrounding Blue, hefting them from one hand to the other and then putting them back down. Blue smiled to himself, knowing that the young doctor wasn’t seeing anyt
hing he was looking at and that it wouldn’t be too much longer before he spoke. While he himself did well in solitude, he recognised in the younger man a need to talk about what was happening, a need for reassurance, especially after Zhe screamed the sub awake last night. That would have set him on edge, he thought sagely.
‘It’ll all change, won’t it?’ Simon blurted out, starting in the middle of a discussion his companion hadn’t been privy to. ‘I mean, what’s to say it will? I keep thinking it will, then I think, “How do I know that?” It’s not like we know… do we?’
‘Don’t we?’ Blue asked mildly, giving Simon the opportunity to talk himself in more circles, just as he needed.
‘Of course not! Those disks could contain anything! Soph’ll get into them and find they’re Carrington's flaming chest measurements!’ Simon exploded, as only one who knows he's in danger of blowing things out of all proportion can.
‘Chest measurements lad?’
Simon had the grace to look abashed, ‘You know what I mean, Blue. We’re all acting like the world’s ending with these disks, but we don’t actually know.’
‘As I said, don’t we?’
Simon paused, carefully replacing the latest tool to find its way into his hands. ‘Nothing that heavily guarded can be good, huh?’ he finally said in a much more subdued tone.
‘Captain doesn’t seem to think so,’ Blue agreed.
‘Soph’s been working on them continuously. I mean, I’ve never seen her like this,’ Simon continued, running a hand through his hair. ‘It’s like they’re beating her,’ he said, at last revealing what had really got to him in this whole mess. His stillness as he said this worried Blue more than any pacing he could have done. This was the crux of it. Had Sophie been able to beat the disks, then all would be as it usually was; this'd just be another job. But this was far from another job. It was far from normal. Everything was changing.
Within the Water Page 6