Simon didn’t need to see the look in Blue’s eyes to know he wasn’t blowing everything out of proportion. He knew that before he came down here, but saying it out loud made it real.
‘Hand me that wrench.’ After the silence became too much, Blue turned back to what he was best at: fixing things. Simon passed it to him, wishing he could get involved with his work like Blue, just for a few hours, to get away from all of this. But he'd already got his nickname – Crippen – by being too eager to operate; he hardly thought that that approach would help things now.
Blue, as if sensing this, mentioned, ‘You know, if you want to do something useful instead of just standing there…’
‘Sure,’ Simon responded before Blue even finished the sentence.
‘You know, I could ask you to do anything right now,’ Blue said with a grin, breaking the tension.
‘Ah, you see, I trust you. Now if it'd been Ash, well, that'd be a different story.’ Simon grinned back, happy to be away from his depressing thoughts. Not everything has to change, some things will always stay the same, he thought, with some sense of rightness, before turning his attention to what Blue was saying.
***
‘Come in.’ The command was brisk, abrupt and even somewhat irritated. Hearing so much more than those two words in the tone, Duncan entered the nav. room somewhat cautiously.
Ben barely looked up from the charts strewn across the desk when his first mate entered. ‘There are only two reasons that will make you welcome in here.’
‘I’ll try my best, Captain.’
‘Either you’re here to tell me Sophie has got into those disks and it’s all roses, or you’re here to ask me how I am.’
‘Well…’
‘Duncan,’ Ben warned.
‘How about I combine reason two with reason three?’
A smile tugged at Ben’s lips at this comment as he waved for Duncan to continue.
‘So, how are you?’ Duncan asked with a grin.
Ben groaned, ‘bloody tired. I’ve got Sophie complaining about the disks, the course we’re on, where we’re going, the Coelacanth and just about anything else you can think of. Then Blue’s complaining about Soph’s piloting and saying we need to hole up somewhere, so he can go outboard to repair the mess she made…’ At this point Duncan held up his hands.
‘I’d like to retract the question.’
‘Hmph, I’d like to go back to bed,’ Ben commented, dragging a hand over his face.
Duncan raised an eyebrow, ‘Would that be Zhe's bed you’re fantasising about?’
Ben shot him a hard look, ‘Don’t you think you caused enough trouble in that area this morning?’
‘Ah… well… in my defence…’ Duncan began, but, unable to come up with a valid defence on the spot, just shrugged and thought, Ah, what the hell, the desk’s between me and him anyway, before continuing, ‘You didn’t see how cute you two looked all cuddled up.’
‘Lieutenant!’ Ben growled, lunging at him.
‘Ahh! Oops, I meant…’ The use of rank gave Duncan the clear idea he may have pushed his captain too far on this particular subject, as he dodged to keep the desk between them.
‘How was I to know you hadn’t come to an… er… arrangement?’
‘An arrangement!’ thundered Daniels, ‘Is that why you think I brought her on board?’
‘Ah… perhaps the wrong choice of words…’
‘You think, Lieutenant?’
‘Hey, hey. Easy Ben.’ Duncan raised his hands in surrender as Daniels grabbed him by the collar.
‘I didn’t mean anything by it. I just thought you two had made some head way and… ah, come on, Ben, you know I wouldn’t have said anything if I'd realised. Besides, I wouldn’t be here if I really thought… I mean…’ Duncan trailed off as he realised, Ben was slowly coming back to himself.
‘Dammit, Dunc!’ Ben let out a frustrated sigh and let his friend go. ‘I don’t know what’s got into me.’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ Duncan reassured him.
‘Hmph, I practically throttle you and you tell me not to worry about it?’
‘Like I said, it’s not a problem. I pushed you too far. It’s been a long while since you’ve cared about someone who needs protecting as much as Zhe, so you overreacted.’
Ben shook his head, ‘Where would I be without you, Dunc?’
‘Oh, I don’t know – dead in a ravine somewhere, neck in a noose, sabre in your—’
‘Yeah, yeah, I get the picture.’ Ben cut him off with a grin.
‘I mean, if you really wanted to make it up to me, you could always name me captain and… Hey!’ Duncan interrupted himself as Ben cuffed him round the back of the head.
‘Don’t push your luck.’
‘Who? Me?’ Duncan asked innocently, just glad that he'd given his friend a break from his burdens, if only for a short time.
‘Yeah, you,’ Ben responded good naturedly before leaning back over the charts.
‘Ah… there's still reason three, Ben,’ Duncan stated a little reluctantly when it became clear that Ben felt the conversation was finished.
‘Hmm, I was hoping you’d forgotten,’ Ben muttered, throwing down the callipers.
‘’fraid not. Would if I could, but there'd be no peace from either Blue or Simon if I did.’
‘Both of them?’
‘Yeah, that’s what I thought, but I gathered from Blue that our dear Dr Crippen is a little on edge and needed something to occupy himself with.’
‘Fair enough, but what does that have to do with me?’ queried Ben.
‘Ah, you see, you kind of mentioned it earlier – holing up somewhere for outboard repairs?’
‘No.’
‘Cap—’
‘No Dunc, I’ve already been through this with Blue. We don’t have a lot of time here; Carrington and his goons will be on to us if they’re not already, and even they’ll be able to figure where we’re heading. Our only advantage is that we’re in front; we can’t lose that.’
‘So instead we’re sailing into Abantos with stolen government files, in a boat that is falling apart?’ Duncan countered.
‘Falling apart?’ Ben thundered.
‘Okay, well not exactly falling apart, but you know as well as I do that all the best will in the world will not compensate for a broken sub,’ Duncan told him bluntly, and without compromise or apology.
‘I know that, Dunc, but now is not the time.’
Chapter Eight
‘Captain?’
Ben sat up in his bunk, blinking owlishly and looking towards the hatch. Surely he must have been hearing things? After all, when was Sophie ever that hesitant? No, he thought shaking his head, everything must be getting to me. Lord, it wasn’t even morning watch; hell, five bells hadn’t sounded yet. He was just settling down to get a couple more hours when another knock sounded.
‘Captain?’ The voice was firmer than before, but just as unnervingly weak. Ben pulled a shirt on, and, opening the hatch, he half expected to find the passage empty, but, lo and behold, there stood a clearly nervous Sophie. Stepping back, Ben let Sophie in, still staring blankly at her.
‘Captain,’ she said for the third time, pulling him out of his sleep-induced daze.
‘Sophie, it’s the middle of the night.’
‘I know, but…’ She twisted her hands together, ‘I can’t do it.’
It took Ben a moment to catch on and reply, ‘The disks.’ She nodded.
‘I’ve tried everything… and anything,’ she added a little desperately.
Ben let out a heavy sigh, running a hand down his face.
‘I’m really sorry, Captain, I know I should be able to… but I can’t. I’ve just tried everything and nothing works, not one thing; I can’t even begin to get in, no walls are coming down…
’
Sophie’s voice was getting higher with each word she uttered, Ben realised it wouldn’t be long before complete hysteria set in.
‘Sophie!’ He cut across her ramblings with authority. Pulled up short, all she could do was look at him, waiting for his anger. Ben sighed, as if having Zhe look at him like that wasn’t enough.
‘When did you last sleep?’
‘Sleep… you… I haven’t been sleeping on the job. It just won’t… I can’t…’
‘Sophie.’ He cut across her again, grabbing onto her shoulders. Thank God Zhe wasn’t talking yet – he didn’t think he could take both of them behaving like this.
‘Captain?’
‘Get some rest. I don’t want to see you up before the first dog watch. No arguments. The Coelacanth can survive by herself for that long. Understood?’
‘Yes Captain.’
‘Good.’
Sophie turned to leave, but had to ask the one question that was burning her inside out, ‘You’re not angry with me?’ Angry, she thought, isn’t the right word – disappointed, let down, upset because I can’t do my job? Her thoughts took a bitter turn; letting her captain down like this was unforgivable in her book.
‘No, Sophie, I’m not angry, disappointed or any other adjective you feel like coming up with. You did all you could – I could never ask any more than that,’ he told her, knowing full well that she was crucifying herself over this.
She nodded gratefully, although it didn’t do too much in the way of assuaging her guilt.
‘Now get some rest. We’ll work this out later.’
‘Yes Captain.’
Ben stayed staring at that hatch a long time after Sophie closed it. In truth, he knew that it could never have been that easy, but some small part of him had hoped it would be. He had hoped that he was wrong and this was not history’s way of repeating itself; that his past wasn’t anywhere near to haunting him. He had allowed himself to hope, as he had before, that this whole mess was just a mistake. Maybe the disks don’t contain anything world destroying, maybe that official search was routine and random, maybe… well, all those “maybes” didn’t matter anymore because they weren’t true. Those disks were as dangerous as he had feared from the moment Rose mentioned them; from the moment he had tied his and his crew’s lives to them.
***
The first bell of the dog watch sounded before Sophie made any attempt to find the captain, although she had been awake much longer.
‘Ah, our computer genius finally rises!’ Ash's greeting sounded across the mess as soon as her foot hit the deck.
‘Where's the captain?’ she asked, seeing only Ash, Simon and Blue playing cards.
‘Nav. room.’
‘Locked himself in there all day he has,’ Blue added, his concern evident as was the underlying question of why.
Sophie just nodded, and climbed up the central access ladder back onto the second deck, thinking all the while about what she would say to him, knowing, as she did, what had kept him in there all day.
‘Dunc, is he in there?’ she asked as she crossed the control room.
‘Yeah, any luck with the disks?’ Sophie simply shook her head. No, the only progress I’ve made is to admit I can’t open them, she thought as she rapped lightly on the door.
On the other side, the gentle rap jarred Ben from his speculations.
‘Captain?’
‘Come in, Soph.’
She entered to see her captain sitting back in his chair, staring at the disk he held in his hand.
‘A real mystery – so many things these disks could contain, but none of them good, I’d wager,’ Ben mused aloud.
‘Captain… I had an idea.’ Sophie began hesitantly; Ben looked up at her, giving his full attention to what she had to say.
‘I was thinking, just because I can’t break the encryption it doesn’t mean that it’s really unbreakable…’ Ben watched her as she fought through the words she had to say, he knew such admissions were not easy. ‘There is someone who could do it – in Abantos. I know we don’t usually risk those waters, so near Bedlam, but…’
‘Aye, Bedlam – a hell of torment for those who defy Carrington and his lackies.’
Sophie swallowed hard. None of them liked to think of that place; the place where, if caught they’d surely end up.
‘This someone, how sure are you of their ability and trustworthiness?’
‘If anyone can break the encryption, they can, but, as for trustworthiness, that is too much to ask; once maybe, but now? We split a long time ago.’
Ben nodded his understanding. Trust was hard to find anywhere, but, there, trust was rarer than gold.
‘I’m sorry, Captain.’
Ben looked up to reply to her unnecessary apology, but she had already left. Returned to the helm, no doubt: her refuge.
***
Duncan looked around the mess. Ben had called them all here. While he hoped there had been some advancement with the encryption, the mood was heavy. Sophie's face showed strain and concern, not the triumph of success. The mood was bleak.
‘Captain,’ Blue acknowledged as Ben stepped up to the table.
Daniels nodded to them, focusing for an extra moment on Sophie.
‘As many of you have already guessed over the last few days, the disks have held fast to their secrets and the ledgers have given up nothing either. Not for want of trying,’ he added with a nod in Sophie's direction.
‘This brings us to now. We have a decision to make; each of us. Whatever is hidden within these disks is bad and has the power to change our lives; nothing this heavily guarded or sought after can be good. We are at decision point, whichever way we sail now there’s no turning back. I have made my decision, but I will not order any one of you to follow me in this. I make for Abantos. I will follow this until I know what’s on these disks and then I will see it resolved. I disappeared once for these people; I will not do so again.’ Ben paused, looking each member of his crew, his family, in the eye. Lastly, his gaze fell on Duncan.
‘So, these are your choices: sail with me; take your leave at the next hospitable port or…’ here he paused, ‘or take these disks back to the government.’
‘NO!’
As one they all turned to look at Zhe, but she was not as she had been. Now she more closely resembled the strong woman who had played the captain’s wife. Her features were set, determined and a wildness rang from her.
‘Zhe?’ Ben’s voice called her back to the present.
‘You can’t give it back to them.’
‘I know, I know.’
Suddenly all her courage melted from her, she seemed to shrink back into the slave girl.
‘Zhe.’ Ben strode around the table to catch her arm as she seemed to wilt in front of them; the outburst having taken everything from her.
‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have…’ she began in a shaky voice.
‘No, you should have,’ Ben told her firmly. Zhe was finally showing signs of actual personality and being human, so he would not let her slip back into the silent slave.
‘Zhe, why does it matter so much to you?’ Duncan asked her softly, ‘It matters to all of us but… why speak out now?’
‘I… I d-don’t know.’ Her fear was almost completely back, but this time she was fighting it.
‘Well now we’ve heard her views, let’s vote; that’s why we’re here, right?’ Ash’s voice cut into everyone’s thoughts, turning their attention away from Zhe, who couldn’t have been more grateful.
‘Yeah, that’s right.’
‘Let’s vote then.’
‘All right then. Ash?’
‘I didn’t plan on living much longer anyway and this seems quite a fitting way to go. Count me in.’
‘Blue?’
‘Ash just about got it rig
ht. I’m in.’
As Ben asked each one in turn, it became more than plain that they were going to follow him. Follow him to Abantos.
Duncan watched as each member of the crew pledged to see this through to the end. It still amazed him that Ben didn’t realise the depth of devotion he inspired. But then it had always been that way; those under his command knew he'd go to hell and back for them, which made each of them just as willing to do the same for him.
***
‘Dunc.’ Ben needed to say no more. He stood staring out into the blue, as Duncan joined his silent vigil after the rest of the crew had begun to make preparations for their new course.
‘Abantos?’ Duncan voiced his concerns after the silence became too oppressive; a harsh reminder of their situation.
‘Abantos,’ Ben confirmed, grim faced.
‘Not the most…’
‘No, nor the best…’
‘But the only.’
‘Aye, the only.’ Ben’s face showed an almost tired acceptance of their fate.
Zhe watched this exchange as she hovered in the hatchway to the common room. Since the discussion a scant few hours earlier, she had begun to feel… different. It was as if that outburst came from another person, almost as if she was standing next to herself watching – a mere bystander. But, since that strange moment, she felt that there were two sides within her. She recalled moments of indecision she'd experienced before, where this other side had pushed her to do something, to stand up for herself or others. However, these memories were quickly replaced by those of the pain she had suffered when she'd listened to that voice. She had finally given in to the feeling that she needed to talk to the captain about this; something told her that he'd help her. After the other night, she knew he would; waking up with him like that had made her feel safe, like she could trust him. Yet, instead of receiving the help/reassurance she'd wanted, she found herself once again in awe of these two men and the depth of understanding they shared.
‘Captain!’ Simon shouted, jarring all three out of their thoughts as he skidded down the passageway.
‘Simon?’ Ben questioned walking out of the common room, sparing only a concerned glance for Zhe before turning to face Simon.
Within the Water Page 7