I wondered what it would be like to walk the streets with Oliver at my side. Would it be easier? Would I notice all the pain and suffering as much? Would the forty-three ghosts that haunted me still follow me there? So many questions I didn’t have a hope of answering.
It was fanciful anyway. Oliver deserved to find some happiness in the city, if he could. He needed to forget about me and knocking on my door once a week was not going to achieve that. Hopefully my sullen attitude toward him earlier would be enough to convince him I was not worthy.
“I found her, she’s up here.” It only took one voice for them all to shuffle in and gather around me.
“Why’d you let him leave?”
“He’s such a good boy.”
“You should have been nicer, he would have stayed.”
“He said the city needs you, what was that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t you feel bad making him leave like that?”
“It’s because she’s spent so much time up here alone.”
They went on and on while everyone gave their comments. No matter what I did, no matter where I went, the ghosts followed me. There was never a moment in my life since the Event that I was truly alone.
And it drove me crazy.
I couldn’t take it anymore. All the walls in the small room were closing in on me. As my vision started fading to black, all I could see were the faces of the ghosts as they incessantly talked and stared at me.
I needed to get out of here. I made a dash for the stairs, not caring if I was about to run through any of the ghostly forms or not. I didn’t care about the shiver it would cause both of us, I just had to get out of here.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I ran through the house. I hurried as fast as my legs could take me to the back door and burst out into the fresh air.
The oxygen filtered back into my lungs, making the black spots in front of my eyes less black. They disbursed the longer I stood inhaling and exhaling like some deranged lunatic. At least I didn’t have any neighbors to watch and judge me.
When my chest wasn’t heaving anymore, I took the few steps to reach the fence. In the distance were the remains of the once vibrant city. The tall skyscrapers still jutted up over the horizon, creating a bricklike effect. Most of them were starting to fall apart from a lack of maintenance. Nobody knew how to look after them now, all that knowledge had died in the Event.
I wondered how many people still survived down there. I could have asked Oliver and he would have told me. But then he might think I cared.
And I didn’t.
Not really.
I had escaped. I had enclosed myself in the house and refused to let anyone in. I didn’t know who owned the house but I knew they wouldn’t be coming back for it. With running water – although only cold – and the electricity run by a solar-powered generator, it was sufficient to keep me alive. Food was my only problem. My dwindling supply reminded me every day.
“You know it’s not too late,” Agatha said, startling me from behind.
“Too late for what?” I asked, only because it was Agatha. I tried not to engage in conversation with the others. They could talk for hours about nothing.
“Too late to rejoin the world. There are people down there living their lives together, you could be a part of it.” She nodded toward the city and its crusty buildings.
“It’s a nice thought, but it’s not that simple.”
“You could make it that simple.”
“Things have changed too much, I’m not a part of their world anymore. Everyone I know is probably dead.” I truly believed that, too. What was the point of going into the city when it would only bring disappointment? I wouldn’t know anyone, they would all be wary of me because I was a stranger now.
“Oliver would appreciate it,” Agatha continued. “You heard what he said, they need you down there.”
“They just want to use me.”
“You don’t know that.”
Except, I did. People only stayed together long enough to use one another. That’s how the world worked now.
Agatha placed her hands on my shoulders, all I felt was the coldness emanating from her. “Just think about it, honey. You don’t have to be in any rush. But I think the sooner you go, the better.”
She left me, shooing away the audience that had started to gather. The ghosts could go anywhere, they weren’t restricted to any one place. I often encouraged – and by encouraged, I meant yelled at them – to go find someplace else to hang out. Some explored further than the yard, but they always came back. For some reason, they always came back.
It was kind of funny, the city needing my help when I couldn’t even solve my own problems. Maybe the day I finally managed to get rid of my forty-three ghosts would be the day I’d be able to turn my attention to helping others.
I went to bed early that night, exhausted from Oliver’s short visit. He always made my head hurt. I wished I could forget all about him so he wouldn’t haunt my thoughts when I least wanted him to.
Back before the Event, we used to hang out all the time. He lived across the street from me so we would walk to school together. He would drop me off at the gate to my private girls’ school before heading down the next block to his own private boys’ school. We repeated the process in reverse after school.
He was always waiting for me.
Without fail.
We spent so much time together, people always assumed we were a couple.
We weren’t.
Oliver and I were just… what we were. Friends. Buddies. Partners in crime. Whatever you wanted to call it, that’s what we were. I knew him better than I did anyone else and he knew all my secrets that I wouldn’t dare reveal to anyone else. That’s what we were.
Even now, almost a year later, it felt weird not seeing him all the time. Sometimes the guilt of leaving was enough to overwhelm me. But when I went to cry over it, all the ghosts would ask me a million questions about why I was so upset and my tears turned into anger. I hated how things were now, it didn’t seem fair. But I didn’t have anyone to blame, the Event was nobody’s fault.
Despite my restless mind, I managed to drift off to sleep. It wasn’t for long. Somewhere, in the early hours of the morning, an alarm started blaring in the distance.
Alarms were normal. They weren’t usually something to be too concerned about. This one was different, it was far louder than any I had heard since the Event and it was coming directly from the city.
I pushed back the bed covers and hurried to the window. My only concern was for Oliver. He was somewhere in the city, he could be right where the alarm was going off. Every part of my body drained of warmth, leaving me cold as I moved.
Pulling back the curtains, the city glowed down the hill in the distance. Between all the dilapidated buildings were plumes of smoke. Something was burning.
Something big.
I wanted to run down to them, find Oliver in the crowds and make sure he was okay. I desperately needed to know he wasn’t caught up in whatever was causing the huge fires. For the city to be so lit up the blazes had to be consuming a large portion of the streets.
Surely Oliver would know better and stay away from that kind of danger? Surely he would do everything he could to keep himself safe?
But he was still Oliver. And Oliver felt compelled to help every person he could. It was what made him such a beautiful person. His sense of selflessness had been proven to me time and time again. If there was a fire and people needed help, he would be in the thick of it.
Now I really needed to find him. I had to know he was alive and well. I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else until I knew for sure. If anything happened to Oliver… I didn’t know what I would do.
I didn’t bother dressing. I ran through the house and burst through the front door. I barely had shoes on my feet before I made it to the front gate.
And then I stopped.
Because I could not go any further.
I had not stepped foot outside that gate in almost a year. Not since I had chosen the house to be my home and refuge. Opening the wire barrier and passing through it seemed as impossible as the world being able to restore itself.
“She’s leaving.”
“No, she’s not.”
“She’ll never leave this place.”
“She could.”
“What’s stopping her?” The running commentary from my forty-three friends was invading my thoughts. That was all I needed at that moment.
“What’s the alarm for?”
“It’s coming from the city.”
“Oooh, it’s a fire.”
“A darn big one.”
“I hope it doesn’t come up here.”
“Why would it do that?”
“It’s a fire, it can do whatever it wants.”
“Kind of like you.”
“Not like Everly, though.”
“No, she can’t even leave.”
“She’s a coward.”
“You can’t say that.”
“I can if it’s true.”
The worst thing was they were right. I couldn’t leave. No matter how much my heart ached to know Oliver was okay, I couldn’t step one foot past the gate.
And I hated myself for it.
Oliver could be hurt somewhere, he could be in dire need of help with nobody else there to care for him. He could have been lying down hurt and hoping I would find him to save his life. And I wouldn’t come.
Apparently not even that horrible thought was enough to get me to overcome my fears. If Oliver needing me wasn’t enough, nothing ever would be. I was destined to spend the rest of my life in that house.
Alone.
With my ghosts.
I ran back inside and slammed the door behind me, regardless of who had followed at my heels. They kept up their chatter as we moved upstairs.
I crawled back into bed and pulled the covers up over my head. I didn’t need their opinions and judgments. I already loathed myself for choosing the path of the coward, I didn’t need to hear it from them, too.
Sleep was impossible from then onwards. There was no way I was going to get any more shuteye when the city was burning only a short distance away.
I tossed and turned as I thought about Oliver. I needed him to be okay, he had to be okay. If he wasn’t, I would have absolutely no reason to stay connected to the city. I could run further away, disappear into the world at large and never have to be reminded of everything we’d lost.
Or my guilt.
Morning was almost a relief as I had a reason to get out of bed. It was only to feed myself so I didn’t die of starvation, but it was something. I wasn’t ready to die yet, I was too much of a coward for even that.
“She’s up.”
“She looks terrible.”
“The poor dear didn’t sleep at all.”
“She should have gone into the city.”
I listened to them all the way into the kitchen. It was nearly impossible to drown them out. I had never met more opinionated people in my life. If I had, they wouldn’t have been in my life for very long.
Pouring my ration of cereal, I looked beyond the yard to see the city. It was no longer glowing, the sunlight drowned out any flames. There was still plenty of smoke, though. Plumes of the grey ghosting mists travelled upwards to the sky. I hated to think of the damage the fire had left in its wake.
Everyone it had killed.
There would be more ghosts in the city today.
I closed the curtains so I couldn’t see it anymore. I didn’t need or want a reminder that something terrible was going on nearby and I hadn’t done anything to help stop it.
Not that I could have done something anyway. It wasn’t like I was a master survivalist or anything close. I wasn’t even a fireman that would know what to do with a damn fire. I would have been useless.
That’s what I told myself, anyway.
I didn’t really believe it.
The phone’s high pitched ringing brought me out of my thoughts as my heart stopped beating in my chest and jumped up to my throat.
I ran for the house phone, practically the only appliance that still worked in the house. Picking up the receiver, I prayed to hear Oliver’s comforting voice on the other end.
“Oliver?” I asked hopefully. I didn’t breathe again until I heard a response.
“Hello? Is Jonah there?” It was a female voice, one I didn’t recognize.
“No, there’s no Jonah here.”
“Oh, sorry, wrong number.” She hung up so all I could hear was the crackling dial tone.
It wasn’t Oliver. He was still out there somewhere.
The chatter started instantly around me. “Jonah? Who’s Jonah?”
“I don’t know.”
“It was a wrong number,” I stated, just to shut them up.
“She was hoping it was Oliver.”
“She’s worried about him.”
“She should be worried about him. Those fires were huge.”
“It’s still burning.”
“Still?”
I turned to face them all, addressing them in a way I rarely did. “If you’re all so smart, tell me what I should do.”
My question seemed to take them by surprise for a moment. There were a few seconds of absolute silence but it was a heavenly few seconds. I had almost forgotten what it was like to just have peace and quiet around me.
But then it started.
“You should go into the city and find Oliver.”
“No, she shouldn’t. It could be dangerous down there.”
“How could she find him in a big city? It’s not like he’s fifty feet tall.”
“She should try.”
“Two souls that care about each other always find their way.”
“She might not come back.”
“That’s probably a good thing.”
“We’ll be lonely.”
“She should do whatever her heart tells her to do.”
“Not if it will cost her life. No man is worth that.”
“I hear ya.”
Clearly I had been stupid thinking they might actually be able to help me. I should have known better, I had brought that on myself. But that didn’t mean I had to stand here and listen to them argue about my life.
I grabbed the book I had read twice already and hurried into the backyard. I settled myself on the deck chair in the sun and tried to get lost in the pages.
It wasn’t going to work. I found myself re-reading the same lines over and over again. My mind was too buzzed with conflicting emotions to allow itself to be absorbed into the fictional world.
Everything used to be so different. Thinking back to the things I once worried about, they all seemed so trivial now. Just days before the Event, it had been the school dance I was concerned about.
I was going with Oliver. Not as a couple, just as friends. Everyone else in our group all had boyfriends and girlfriends. Oliver and I were the odd ones out. So we agreed to go to the dance as friends and help each other find someone to dance with.
I didn’t know what to wear because the weather was going to be cold. A dress would make me freeze but what else could I wear? I didn’t want to be the outcast that wore a tuxedo in some lame attempt to buck the system and be cool. So I knew I needed to find a winter-type dress that looked great but kept me warm at the same time.
It was embarrassing now to think of how much time I actually spent trying to find that dress. Oliver kept bugging me about what color tie he needed so we’d match. I kept telling him the perfect dress was out there somewhere, waiting for me, but I didn’t know what color it was.
I never found that dress.
The Event happened instead of the dance.
I wondered for the longest time what life would have been like now if we had all gone to the dance and everything continued on as normal. Perhaps I would have found the perfect guy and we would have fallen in love. We would still
be attending school and getting ready to graduate. College would be looming in the distance like a big signpost.
There wouldn’t be one part of my life that resembled how it was now. I couldn’t have imagined how things went. Who would expect something like the Event to happen? Not even all the survivalists and doomsday preppers were prepared for it.
I closed the book because it was pointless keeping up the charade. I stared at the sky instead. How was it possible that it was still the same blue sky I had stared at before the Event? It seemed like nothing had changed above but everything had changed below.
Suddenly another siren started blaring from the city, jolting me upright. I had to stand to see over the fence but I instantly regretted getting up so quickly. Everyone followed me as I rushed to the gate to peer over.
Fresh plumes of smoke were rising up toward the sun, turning the blue into an orange-grey. At least it now looked like a different sky than I was used to. It somehow seemed appropriate.
“What on earth is going on down there?”
“You can go look.”
“I’m not going down there. I’m dead, I’m not stupid.”
“Why? You can only die once.”
“Can’t even do that right.”
“Nobody’s going down there,” I said sternly. Although, I’m not sure why I did. I didn’t care if the ghosts ventured into the city. Nor did I care if they came back. I would have been glad to get rid of them.
But, somehow, we were family. They were the only people I had. God knew they annoyed me as much as a real family did. The thought of being alone in the house at the top of the hill was a thought much scarier than having them around.
The alarm shut off as we stood in shock but the smoke still freely flowed. Two alarms in as many days, that wasn’t a good sign. Oliver was right about one thing when he visited me – they needed my help down there.
And they needed it now.
Chapter Three
Three days later, the fires were still burning in the city. I got up every day, expecting to see a clear sky and being disappointed. The air outside was so acrid with the lingering smoke that it seeped into everything. I never thought smoke had a taste before, but it did.
Legends of the Damned: A Collection of Edgy Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance Novels Page 274