It tasted like death.
I stood in front of the kitchen pantry, trying to put something together for breakfast. My choices had severely dwindled. All that was left were a few cans of food. They had all passed their used-by date months earlier.
“You’ll end up like one of us if you don’t get some food soon.”
“I miss food.”
“Me too. My favorite was ice cream.”
“Chocolate.”
“Jellybeans.”
“Pizza.”
“Guys,” I interrupted. My stomach was growling just listening to them. “Don’t remind me what I’m missing.”
Agatha moved to the front of the crowd and placed her hands gently on my shoulders. I don’t know why she always did that, she couldn’t actually touch me. “You need food, Everly. You can’t delay it much longer.”
I moved from the depressing pantry to look out over the backyard instead. “Maybe I could grow some fruit and vegetables in the garden? Then I would always have food.”
“You need seeds for that.”
“And good soil.”
“I wouldn’t trust anything grown in that ground. Who knows how contaminated it is.”
“Maybe it will make things grow quicker.”
“Or bigger.”
I tuned them out when they started talking about mutant vegetables. My problem was real… and serious. If I didn’t find more food soon, I was going to starve. I had been on rations for so long that I was surviving on very little, but having nothing was not going to keep me alive.
I had already raided all the houses on the hill long ago. It was how I lasted this long. I knew it would be futile returning to the buildings to scour for scraps. If I had left anything behind, the rodents and wild animals would have scavenged it by now.
The situation couldn’t be ignored for much longer. I had enough canned food for one, maybe two days, at the most. If my body got too much weaker, I wouldn’t be able to make it into the city to search for more supplies.
I would be dead halfway down the street.
But it wasn’t only the food situation bothering me. I tried to convince myself it was, but it really wasn’t. I couldn’t even fool the ghosts into believing it either.
Today was the day Oliver normally visited. I would always pretend I didn’t notice and then secretly await his arrival all day long. Even though it was still only early, a voice in the back of my head kept telling me he wasn’t coming.
The fires had been too big, the sirens too loud, for Oliver to make it out of the city. My gut instinct was telling me it would have taken a miracle for him to be okay and then make it up the hill to knock on my front door.
He wasn’t coming.
I just knew it.
Oliver always came before noon. He was more reliable than clockwork, he always had been. I never needed to wear a watch when he was around because he kept a keen eye on his own and would tell me if I had to be somewhere.
Noon came and went with the echoing bongs from the old Grandfather clock in the living room. One of the ghosts insisted I kept it wound, although I had no idea why. It wasn’t like time meant anything to anyone anymore.
Nighttime fell as the full moon made its ascent into the sky. The city was barely a dim glow in the distance. Oliver never came. It was the first time he had missed his visit since he found me after the Event.
But wasn’t that what I wanted all this time? I had decided long ago I was never going to return to the city with him. I was never going to listen to a word he said. With every visit, I had told him to leave me alone and not come back.
I had received what I wanted.
Oliver wasn’t coming back, exactly like I had begged him to do on so many occasions. I was being left alone, alone with my forty-three ghosts that were slowly sending me insane. Alone to starve to death in the deserted street. Alone forever.
I went to bed exhausted. My stomach ached for something to eat but I didn’t dare delve into the few remaining morsels I still had. They needed to last longer than humanely possible. Perhaps the leaves on the few trees in the yard wouldn’t taste so bad? Maybe contaminates from the crumbling city had time to dissolve or evaporate? There had to be a slim chance they wouldn’t kill me.
Even through my heavy eyelids, I wasn’t able to sleep. Oliver filtered through my thoughts relentlessly. I wondered if he had chosen not to visit or if something really had happened to him in the city fires. Perhaps there was a lot more going on down there than I realized.
It wouldn’t have surprised me.
The night dragged on, impossibly long. The growling of my stomach was louder than the ghosts’ midnight chatter. The ache in my chest was even worse for my lost friend.
It became clear in the darkness I had a choice to make. I could give up completely and wait for death to take me away. I could then join the ghosts and roam the earth unbidden for the rest of eternity.
I could do that.
Or I could choose life.
I could choose to fight and leave the safety of my house to search for food. But more than that, I could go in search of Oliver. Something told me that if I could just see he was okay, half the aches in my body would settle. The hunger wouldn’t feel so bad, the demons in my head would be quieted.
For breakfast that morning I allowed myself five baked beans. That left six for dinner or lunch, depending on how long I could make myself wait. I drank water, trying to convince myself it would keep my stomach full. I don’t know what made me think I would be able to trick my own mind into believing it.
It wasn’t fooled.
I was starving.
I wrapped my only woolen coat around my shoulders and put on my thickest boots. Even on the warmer days I felt cold now. It was like I could feel the breeze right down to my bones and they would shiver underneath my skin.
The cold steel of the front gate was underneath my hands. I stood there, taking a few deep breaths to stop the dizziness. The food situation, I could handle. It was the constant concern for Oliver I couldn’t take anymore.
I had to move, I had to find him.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t alone.
“Here we go again.”
“I don’t know why she bothers, it’s not like she’s going to go anywhere.”
“Maybe she likes the view.”
“Of the dead city? I don’t think so.”
“She misses Oliver.”
“Yeah, what happened to him anyway?”
One of the ghosts stepped forward to stand beside me. His hands attempted and failed to grip the gate like mine did. I smiled at him, thinking maybe he was here to help make the decision easier.
I was wrong.
He grinned. “Hey, look at me, I’m Everly. Will I go or will I stay? Ah, who are we kidding? Of course I’m not going to go.” They erupted into laughter. So much for my own personal cheer squad. I was surprised they didn’t just hand me a knife so I could be done with it all.
Perhaps they would if they could actually touch things.
“Shut up, all of you,” I begged. They couldn’t hear me over the sound of their own giggles.
It was impossible to stay a moment longer. I had to find Oliver or I was going to be driven mad. If not by the ghosts then by my own mind.
My hands pushed on the gate. It made a terrible squeak as the rusty hinges protested against it. I hoped it wasn’t a warning sign of things to come.
It couldn’t be and I couldn’t think like that. I needed to find Oliver and there wasn’t anything I could do about that at the house. It was the city for me.
I took the first step that would take me over the threshold of safety. It was the first time in almost a year I had left the property. I took another step, and another one after that until I was completely away from the property boundary.
I was in the street.
“She’s doing it.”
“She’ll be back.”
“Give it a few minutes and she’ll come running.”
/> “Maybe she won’t. Maybe she’ll leave us.”
“For good?”
“We can find her, we’re not the ones stuck here.”
“I think it’s good for her.”
“She should leave. It’s not healthy staying here.”
They all had an opinion but none of them followed me. I didn’t dare look back over my shoulder to see them but their voices grew softer the further I went.
Every step away from the house made a voice in my head scream that I should turn around and hurry back. It was warning me that I was going into the unknown. I had no way of predicting what would await me in the city.
I didn’t even know what awaited me at the end of the street.
But I had to keep going.
Oliver was down there somewhere and I had to find him. He had never missed one visiting day since he found me. I couldn’t leave him to languish in the city alone. I had to find him. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t.
My legs were heavy with trepidation. As I passed the last remaining house on the street, I had an overwhelming urge to run back as fast as I could.
But I kept going.
I may have had to wade through what felt like concrete to get there, but I was going to do it. The fear of staying and starving was worse than the fear of going into the city and facing what awaited me.
It had been so long since I travelled this way, I actually had to think about the path I needed to take. It wasn’t like I had a map or GPS. The skyscrapers in the distance were my beacon, the guiding light to lead me into the darkness.
An eerie silence wrapped itself around me. Even the gentle cool breeze didn’t bring any sound with it. What once would have held cars whizzing by and people chattering happily, now only held a deathly quietness. After listening to the forty-three ghosts occupying my home, it was almost too much to bear. I truly felt alone for the first time in a long time.
As I moved, faces would appear at the windows of the houses I passed. I knew they weren’t real, but more dead people. They hid when they saw me, we rarely made any eye contact. If they knew I could see them, I wouldn’t be able to get rid of them. That’s how my house had become so full.
It all started with just one ghost.
Going down the hill was probably far easier than it would be to return again. The road was steep. If I had a bicycle or a skateboard, it would have taken me a fraction of the time to reach the bottom. Perhaps I should have searched around for one? But it would probably have been a waste of time.
The houses started to become more condensed, the first sign I was getting close to the city. The buildings weren’t as small anymore either, proving I was approaching. I tried to mentally prepare myself for what I was going to see, but I couldn’t. It brought back too many memories I would rather forget.
Like seeing everyone I loved die.
A horrible, painful death.
I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts. The only way I had been able to cope with it all was to pretend it didn’t happen. If I could squash those thoughts into a tiny little space in my mind and never let it unravel, I could function. If even a tiny corner started to peel back, I commenced my shutdown.
I continued to force my feet to keep going. One step at a time I wound my way through the suburb until I reached the city. It was when the faces started to become real that I seriously wanted to turn back.
I knew these faces weren’t ghosts because they were only children. They peeked out from front doors and behind alleys to stare at me. They were filthy, gaunt, and held a look of sadness so terrible it was heartbreaking.
They each reminded me of Faith.
But she was gone, too.
I locked my eyes on the street and tried desperately not to look to my sides. The dilapidated buildings were almost as sad as the children that roamed through them. Nobody had maintained the structures in a long time, nobody knew how.
Except me.
And I wasn’t helping.
The lump in my stomach lurched up to my throat and lodged itself there. No matter how many deep breaths I took, it refused to budge. But I couldn’t break down. I had to find Oliver, it wasn’t a choice now. My journey into the city would not be in vain. I wouldn’t let it be.
The further into the heart of the city I went, the more apparent it was that the past year had not been kind to it. So many of the houses were burned out, just empty shells that used to hold happy families.
Just one moment was all it took to destroy everything.
Barely a window was still whole, no gardens grew in planters. What was once the main parkland was now just a patch of brown dirt. Everything was a bleak beige or grey. Gone, along with hope, were all the bright colors.
Before I could stop myself, my traitorous feet stopped outside the building I used to call my home. I lived on the third floor of the brownstone apartment complex. My bedroom overlooked the parkland.
Only half of the building remained.
Somewhere in the rubble were the remains of my parents. My precious mom and dad that I had shed so many tears over after the Event were probably no more than bones now. The day I left I promised myself I would never return and I planned on keeping that promise even now. I would never step foot inside that building again.
I couldn’t.
Never ever.
My feet needed to keep moving or I would be stuck, frozen here forever. I had to think of the living and not be tormented by the dead.
It was a mistake to come. Everything only reminded me of what I had lost. The city was my past, I couldn’t take it in now in the present, and it certainly wasn’t in my future.
Perhaps I could find some food on the way back. I didn’t need much, just enough to keep me going for a little while longer. Until I was ready to give up entirely.
I turned back the way I had come. The ghosts would be terrible when I returned to my house on the hill. They would ridicule me endlessly for not being braver, stronger, and more courageous. I would need to find a way to drown them out. I wouldn’t let them get to me. The ghosts were far worse in the city, they haunted me far more than the ones at the house.
“Everly!” The male voice stopped me in my tracks as my mind went blank.
I was frozen on the spot, unsure whether I had heard my name called from the living or the dead. I wished I didn’t have to make that kind of decision. Life was for the living, the dead should have no place here.
“Everly, you came.” His voice was real, I was certain of it. I turned around and saw Oliver’s face. Relief flooded through me like a tidal wave.
Every muscle in my body wanted to rush at him, wrap my arms around his neck and never let him go. I couldn’t, though. Admitting to that level of caring meant I still had feelings and wasn’t numb like I needed to be. Caring for others was a weakness I needed to expunge from my existence.
“Hey, Oliver,” I replied nonchalantly. My heart raced with him so close and so… alive. He was there, he was okay, he didn’t look to have any cuts or injuries. Oliver was whole, my venture into the city was worth that knowledge alone.
“I’m so glad to see you here,” he started, a grin spread wide across his face. “Are you staying? Please say yes.”
“I ran out of food, I’m only here for supplies.”
The lines around his eyes crinkled with disappointment. I hated doing that to him. He deserved so much more. “I can help you find supplies. But will you stay for a little bit? I want to show you around. You did come all this way, after all.” He smiled hopefully. How many times did I have to knock him down before he remained down?
Obviously once more, at least.
“I don’t want to be gone long. I really just need my stuff and then I’ll leave.”
“How about I do you a deal? You spend one hour with me, doing whatever I want, and I’ll get you food to take back. How does that sound?” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he waited for my answer.
The decision should have been easy.
I didn’t know where I would find food in the broken city and I didn’t know what kind of negotiation was required to be able to take anything with me. Oliver did. I should have been all over the deal and ready to sign on the dotted line.
But I wasn’t.
Staying for even an hour in the city was akin to torture. I wouldn’t be able to ignore all the pain and suffering of the poor children left behind by the Event. I didn’t know if I was strong enough to handle it.
I probably wasn’t.
I would never be that strong.
But I did need food. And a part of me really did want to stay with Oliver and see what was so important he wanted to show me. We had been best friends once, I still felt a traitor by turning my back on him now.
“Deal,” I finally replied, not nearly as enthusiastically as he would have hoped. “But just for one hour. I have to get back.” I didn’t have to get back. There was nothing for me at the house on the hill, but it was far better than staying in the city.
“One hour it is, come on.” Oliver started walking in the same direction he had approached from. I followed closely, not wanting to lose him in the destruction that was once regal buildings.
We took the route that would have once taken us to our schools. In my mind I could picture how everything used to look. Brownstone buildings lined the perfectly tarred street with proud green trees lining the way.
Now, there was rubble to my right and rubble to my left as we walked down the center of the street avoiding loose debris. It was crazy to think so much damage could be done in little more than a year.
It would never have happened without the Event.
“We’re going to the school?” I asked as we entered through the old school gates. One had been torn off its hinges, the other screeched when it moved. If Principal Decky was still here to see it, he would have cried over the conditions. He was always so proud of his school.
“Not the school, but the hall at the side,” Oliver explained. He led me around the building, just like he said. The hall we entered used to be the performance center. It was a large building with a raised stage at one end and not much else. I had played the lead in two dance recital performances there.
Legends of the Damned: A Collection of Edgy Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance Novels Page 275