by Vella Day
Chapter Two
Amber spent her day off with Chris. Only when she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore, did she hug him one last time and return home. Her mom hadn’t called to check how Chris was doing, which added to her depression. Amber kept telling herself it was because her mom was waiting for her to call and deliver the news.
With shaking fingers, Amber punched in her cell.
No answer.
Damn. Delivering the additional bad news about the hopelessness of Chris’s condition sucked, but it she were honest, had they connected, her mom’s insensitive attitude might have upset her more.
The beep sounded. “Hey, Mom. The news isn’t good. Chris’s spine was severed at C7. He’s on pain meds, but maybe they can take him off the ventilator tomorrow. Call if you want to talk.” Her mom probably wouldn’t respond, but Amber harbored the slimmest of hope the accident might make her mother reach out for a change.
Amber pulled a leftover casserole from the fridge and heated it. She managed to eat a few bites, but as soon as she thought back to Chris, her appetite disappeared.
She had to get some sleep. After showering, she dropped into bed. Even after punching the pillow a few dozen times, she still couldn’t get comfortable or turn off her mind. Around three in the morning, Amber finally dozed off.
By eight, she’d dressed and returned to the hospital. She probably wouldn’t be at her finest for her two to midnight shift, but she wanted to be close to Chris in case he needed her.
As she entered his room, a fleeting rush of joy filled her. The ventilator was gone. Chris was asleep, his chest rising and falling gently. She pulled the chair next to his bed, lifted his hand in hers, and squeezed. “Hey, Chris. It’s Amber. Can you hear me?”
When Chris didn’t move, blood pounded in her head. “Come on, Chris.” She pressed a palm to her forehead to help keep the impending headache at bay. “Wake up. You can do it.”
If she had to sit there and carry on a one-sided conversation for hours on end, she would. He had to pull through. Chris was a fighter, and she’d be there for him every step of the way.
Amber squeezed his hand while she talked to him, trying to stimulate his brain into rousing. She recounted some happier times when they were growing up, like when Dad would take them to ball games, but even those memories failed to bring the usual joy.
It must have been close to noon when Chris finally groaned. Her heartbeat picked up. His lids fluttered and she placed a hand on his cheek and shook it gently.
“Welcome back, Chris.”
At the thought of having him wake up in a hospital, her stomach tumbled. Now she’d have to break the terrible news to him. Finally, he opened his eyes, but it seemed to take forever before he recognized her.
“Amber?”
“Yeah. It’s me, kiddo. You don’t have to talk.”
“What happened?” His voice sounded scratchy, but that was to be expected from the throat tube.
He tried to wet his dry lips. She reached for the water and placed the straw to his lips. When he sucked up the liquid, excitement bubbled through her. He nodded, and she put the pitcher back down.
“Do you remember crashing your bike?” He shook his head then winced. “A car hit you.”
“How bad?” Pain sliced across his face.
“You messed up your back pretty bad.”
He wiggled his fingers as if attempting to lift his arm. He grit his teeth then relaxed his hand. “I can’t—”
Amber’s pain cut so deep, she lost the courage to tell him what was in store for him. “I’ll be right back.” She never was a coward, but this was her brother.
She shoved back her chair and rushed out the room. She needed to tell the nurse he was awake, as the monitors wouldn’t have alerted them. Tears trickled down her cheeks. As she rushed up to the nurses’ station, she wiped away the moisture.
The woman’s name was Sheri. The nurse looked up and smiled. “Can I help you?”
Amber explained Chris was awake. “I need his doctor to explain his condition to him. Now.”
Sympathy poured across Sheri’s face. “I’ll page him immediately.”
Amber’s chin shook. “Thanks.”
With her chin held high, she returned to Chris’s room. His head was turning right and left, panic crisscrossing his face.
“I can’t move.” He gasped for breath, and she rushed to his side.
Be strong for him. “It’ll be okay.” She hated lying. “Shrug your shoulders. You can do it. It’s going to take time to regain strength.” That much was true.
A few minutes later, the doctor came in. He didn’t look much older than she did. He introduced himself, and then told Chris about his limitations and what he was in for.
“This is bullshit,” Chris said. He pounded the back of head into the mattress, the only part of his body he could really move. Her heart broke.
The doctor asked Chris to move his fingers, his shoulders, and his arms. It hurt her to see him struggle so. The doctor then stepped to the end of the bed and ran a closed pen up and down his feet. When Chris didn’t react, Amber had to force herself to appear calm.
After he checked Chris’s breathing, the doctor placed a hand on Chris’s shoulder. “I’ll be back tomorrow to go over your prognosis. I know this is a lot to take in.” He nodded to her then left.
She drew in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Sweetie, I know this is hard, but with therapy you’ll be able to do some things.”
“I can’t live like this, Amber.” He turned his head again. Tears shimmered. God help him. Her baby brother never cried.
She wanted nothing more than to hug him, but he’d think she pitied him. The sad fact was that a part of her did.
After another hour of trying to convince him that his life would get better, a knock sounded, and Jamie peeked her head in. “Hey, Chris.”
Amber welcomed the interruption. Jamie and her boyfriend, Ben, had come by the house nearly every weekend after Chris moved in with her.
“Go away, Jamie.”
Amber’s patience snapped. “Chris, that’s no way to speak to one of our friends.” Now she sounded like their mom, but it couldn’t be helped. The last thing he needed was to push people away, especially when he’d need help the rest of his life.
Amber stood, and keeping her back to her brother, she walked toward Jamie. “He’s having a hard time coming to grips with the paralysis.” She made sure to keep her voice too low for Chris to hear.
“Wouldn’t you?” Jamie whispered back.
Amber had to be honest. “Yes.”
Jamie moved to the side, looked at Chris, and slightly shook her head. Chris was a proud man. Having his friends see him this way would only add to his pain, but at some point he had to accept help.
Someone lightly tapped the door and a nurse came in. “I need to turn him and check his vitals.”
“I can’t do this,” Chris said to no one in particular. “I can’t live like this.”
Amber strode over to him. “Don’t say that, Chris. Please. You need to have patience.”
“Fuck patience. What am I supposed to do now? I’ll never be able to walk, never be able to ride my bike.” A tear dripped down his face. “Never have a family.” He looked up at her. “I know you always thought I was this irresponsible kid, but I didn’t want to end up like Dad—always working, never having time for any of us.”
His words cut. He spoke the truth and sympathy choked her. He clearly wasn’t in the mood to listen to her rant about being strong, but she would have that talk with him at some point. “I know it’s going to be hard. Let the nurse do her job. I’ll step outside for a bit.” She should call their mom again.
When Chris turned his head away from her, her heart finally cracked, and Amber had to work hard to keep from breaking down. Part of her wanted to shake him, and the other part wanted to hug him.
You have to stay strong.
She bet that would be her motto for the next few ye
ars.
* *
From what Stone had heard from a few of the nurses, Amber would probably be by her brother’s side. Since he’d been the first one to bandage Chris’s legs and bring him in, he hoped the young man would remember him—at least the part before Stone medically paralyzed him in order to get him to stop twisting and flailing. Being unable to breathe, even for a few seconds, could emotionally scar anyone for life.
He first stopped by the ER to speak to Randy Carstead, the doc who’d worked on Chris. Stone waited until Randy finished with a patient.
When his friend spotted him, he tore off his gloves, dumped them in the trash, and came over. “I’m not used to seeing you here without a gurney by your side or not wearing your uniform.”
“I just stopped by to find out about my trauma patient I brought in.”
Randy shook his head. “It was bad. His C7 was severed.”
“Fuck.” He feared all that movement had done irrevocable damage.
They were only able to discuss the kid’s other injuries for a few minutes because a gunshot victim rolled in.
Randy’s shoulders straightened. “Gotta go. Let’s hit Banner’s Bar next week.”
Stone could use a hard night of partying. “Works for me.”
As soon as Randy disappeared behind the automatic door, Stone went up to the ICU, and spoke with the nurse on duty who gave him Chris’s room number. She mentioned that Amber had been in earlier and said she’d be back.
“Thanks.”
He walked to the end of the hall, knocked on Chris’s door and opened it. The young man was stretched out on his bed with his eyes closed. At least he was breathing on his own.
“Hey, Chris.”
The kid opened his eyes. He looked at Stone hard as if he was trying to recognize him. “Who are you?”
It was always hit or miss whether the victim would remember him. “I’m Stone Benson, the paramedic who brought you here.”
He turned his head. “You should have let me die.”
Christ. He sounded so much like Heath, Stone’s heart squeezed. He pulled up a chair and straddled it. “Listen. What happened to you is a tragedy, but you ran the red light.” Personal responsibility could be a bitch.
Chris’s gaze shot right then left. “I don’t remember anything.”
“That’s not unusual.”
The kid’s jaw hardened then trembled. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me. You have to live with the consequences.” Stone found that by being tough, the patient could better cope.
“Was anyone else hurt?” Tears threatened to spill and he turned away.
“No. Only you. You’re lucky you’re not dead.”
Chris looked back to Stone. “I’m scared.”
That cracked his heart. Stone had two options. Be gentle and supportive or tell Chris his options. If the kid didn’t face his reality like a man, he’d never find something fulfilling in his life.
“I know. It sucks, but you can make the best of what you have.”
He shook his head. “I can’t do it.”
Stone had heard the same sentiment from many patients, especially from the critical ones. “Yes, you can. I bet your sister wants you to try.”
“I don’t want Amber to have to take care of me.”
So that was at the crux of his issues.
Before he could address the situation, the door opened, and Stone turned around. A woman, who he guessed was Amber, along with another nurse, entered. Cade had described the sister as being about five feet four, having long wavy brown hair, a pert nose, and full lips. The fact one of the women was a blonde made identifying Amber easy.
He pushed back his chair and stood. “Ladies.” He nodded to both. “I’m Stone Benson. I was the paramedic on duty who brought Chris in. I just stopped by to check on him.”
“I’m Amber, Chris’s sister.” Her shoulders sagged.
The blonde woman clasped Amber’s arm. “I’ll call you later.”
Amber’s lips pressed together as if she was working hard to keep it together. “Please do.” They hugged.
Amber looked behind him at her brother. “May we speak outside?” She looked tired and quite disheartened though he could hardly blame her.
“Sure.” He’d already switched his day off with Drake Longworth, so he had time to spend with her.
“I’ll be back, Chris,” she said.
Her brother didn’t answer.
They stepped into the hallway. “How is he?” she asked.
“I’m not a doctor, but as someone who has seen his share of bad accidents, I’ve witnessed the whole range of reactions. Chris is scared, but that’s not unusual.”
Her eyes widened. “He told you that? That he was scared?”
“Yes, but Chris seems like the type who can overcome this.”
She sucked in her bottom lip. “You don’t know how happy I am to hear that. I need him to recognize what he’s going through. He’s been angry.”
“I would be, too.” He didn’t want to deceive her. “I’ve seen patients go from angered to determined to depressed all in a span of minutes.”
“So have I.” Her stomach grumbled.
Given her red eyes, either she’d been crying, hadn’t slept much, or both. Most likely she’d foregone food, also. “When was the last time you ate?”
She glanced at the ceiling and slowly shook her head. Amber wouldn’t do Chris any good if she didn’t keep up her strength. He placed a hand on her back. “Come on. Let’s grab a bite. I need to eat.” She hesitated and he cursed himself. She might think he was trying to pick her up. “I thought we could talk about Chris.”
Her shoulders dropped a bit. “I’d like that. The doctor really didn’t say much other than it will take time.”
“That’s true.”
They took the elevator to the second floor and walked down a hallway plastered with photos of the hospital Board. The last door on the right led to the cafeteria. As if she was on a mission, Amber headed straight to the food line. The place was crowded and loud. Stone didn’t know why the ordered chaos bothered him now. Maybe it was because he felt sorry for her and thought she’d appreciate the quiet.
Though her voice had remained calm when they’d been in Chris’s room, he could tell from the way she’d crossed her arms over her chest like she was afraid she’d fall apart, that she was barely holding it together.
In relative silence, they pushed their trays through the line. While he piled the food on his plate, Amber picked up two small salads, one of which was a small bowl of cut fruit.
“These coming months will require a lot of your energy. You need to eat.” He tried to keep his voice as soothing as possible.
“I know.” She grabbed another bowl, this one containing green beans.
When they reached the cashier, she pulled her wallet out, but blocked her efforts to pay. “I’ll get this.” Amber would need to purchase a special bed for Chris, medications, and a host of other items.
“That’s very kind, but no thank you.”
He shrugged, not wanting to push her too hard and add to her stress. Amber seemed the type of woman who was cautious around men. He had no solid basis for his assumption, other than how she avoided his direct eye contact and was constantly fiddling with her uniform as if she believed he was judging her. Because he’d wanted to understand who he’d be dealing with, Stone had asked a friend of hers if she was dating anyone or had family nearby for a support system. The nurse said she didn’t.
They found a table toward the back of the cafeteria where the noise wasn’t as loud. As soon as they sat, Amber picked up her fork then set it down. Her stomach was probably churning, and he really wanted to put her at ease.
“Tell me about Chris.”
She looked at him, but it was almost as if she didn’t see him. “What do you mean? He’s paralyzed.”
That was not what he’d meant. “Tell me what he was like, what he did for a living, wh
at he enjoyed doing for fun. Stuff like that.”
She sighed and the tiniest smile crossed her lips. “Chris is a dreamer. He hated school probably because our older brother was a superstar. Not that Thomas was around much since he was fifteen years older than Chris, but Mom bragged about him all the time.” She looked down at her food and stabbed a piece of fruit. “In her eyes, Thomas could do no wrong. My mom is a cardiac surgeon and pushed her first offspring to be a doctor. When I came along, I wanted to be a doctor, too, but it wasn’t to be.”
Now he felt like a shit for asking. Dredging up bad memories hadn’t been his goal. “So was Chris more into athletics? Or was he an expert at video games?” He figured that covered the gamut of what kids did who didn’t like school.
“He was a daredevil. A real adrenaline junkie.” Her lips quivered, and he had to urge to clasp her hand to give her comfort—but he didn’t.
“So Chris lived life to the fullest.”
She finally made direct eye contact. “Yeah, he did.”
Stone leaned forward. “What were his goals?” None of which might ever be realized now.
She shook her head. “I’m not sure. If I had to guess, I’d say it was to have a good time.” Her lips pressed together, and she looked up at the ceiling again as if she’d find her composure there. “When he came to live with me, I insisted he take at least one night school class and get a job, so he worked as a garage mechanic. He’s really talented.”
“I’m glad he found something he excelled at.” He scarfed down part of his meal while he thought about her answers. “Were you and Chris always close?”
“Surprisingly, yes, even though we were opposites. I was always studying and figured when I was done with school, I’d have plenty of time to travel and enjoy myself.” She sipped her tea.
“How’s that plan working out?” He tried to keep his voice light.
A small chuckle escaped. “When I find the time to do the things I want, I’ll let you know.”