by Vella Day
“I hear ya. I always dreamed of seeing the world, too. Finding the time and money seem to be my stopping points.”
“Amen.”
It was cool they had the same vision in life. “The ER doc said you’re an oncology nurse.” He wanted to hear about her passion.
“Yes.”
“Why oncology?” He wasn’t sure he could handle the depression day in and day out.
“It’s where I believe I can help the most.” She returned to her food for a moment before continuing. “When I see how quickly the doctors have to meet with so many patients, I’m glad I chose nursing where I can spend time with each person.” A spark filled her eyes.
“What’s the best part of your job?”
“That’s easy. Seeing my patients’ courage. I’ve never met more upbeat and wonderful people in my life.” She inhaled, and then exhaled deeply. “Don’t get me wrong, I do have many sad cases, but when some go home and live a full life, I’m so happy for them.”
“It seems as if you really love what you do.”
Her face softened, and she looked beautiful at that moment. “Yes.” She sighed. “But now I’m not sure how I’m going to take care of Chris full-time and do my job the way I want.”
He wondered why she thought it was her responsibility. “What about your parents?”
She shook her head. “My dad, who was a lawyer, walked out on us a long time ago, and my mom works long hours.”
“As a cardiac surgeon, maybe your mother could hire someone to care for her son.”
“She could, but I’m not sure she plans to.” Amber’s lips pursed. “I’ll speak with her about it.”
He hadn’t expected such pain and bitterness to lace her tone. For today, he’d leave that conversation alone. No need to bring up something so unsettling.
For the next few minutes, they ate—or rather he ate and Amber picked. She’d bring the fork close to her mouth and hold it there for a moment as if she was lost in thought.
He glanced at the big clock behind the cafeteria line. “When do you need to get to work?” She was dressed in scrubs, so he assumed she was here for her shift.
Amber sucked in a big breath. “At two. If I have time, I want to stop back and see Chris once more. My boss said to take a few days off, but I figure if Chris’s condition changes, I’ll be close by.” She closed her eyes tight for a moment. “You know what he said when he first woke up after the accident?”
Stone shook his head.
“He said he wanted to die.”
Stone nodded. “He told me that, too, but it’s the fear talking. It’s going to take time to come to grips with the life-altering event.”
She drew in her bottom lip. “How can I convince him that he can lead a useful life?”
Did she really believe he could? Fuck, if he got run over and couldn’t move, Stone might elect to die, too. When Heath had been in his arms, he kept begging Stone to let him go. Stone had tried to convince his friend to hold on for the sake of his wife and newborn child, but Heath had shaken his head, claiming he didn’t want to be a burden to his family.
“It’s going to be up to Chris. All you can do is be there for him.” She certainly didn’t need to believe it was her responsibility to make Chris happy.
“I know, but my brother is going to be so miserable. This may sound callous, but perhaps he’d have been happier if he’d died in the crash. Chris is strong when he wants to be, but I don’t see the fight in him this time around.”
Cade’s doubts regarding Amber resurfaced in his mind, but Stone refused to believe she really would lend a helping hand to end someone’s life. Her belief in the human spirit seemed too strong.
Stone reached out and clasped her hand. “Give him time. Just be supportive in whatever he decides.”
Her lips quivered. “Thanks. I know we’ll get through this somehow.”
They finished their meal and placed their trays next to the trash. Stone motioned her toward the exit. “I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through right now, but I want you to know I’m a good listener.”
Amber had struck a chord in him. He dealt with the injured every day, but he had a responsibility to help the strong and brave ones, too. When his sister had been diagnosed with acute leukemia eighteen years ago, it was his aunt who’d spent time with him when everyone’s attention had been focused on Katie. Having Auntie Carol’s support was what allowed him the ability to help his sister get through the chemo and the bouts of pain. Everyone needed an advocate.
He pulled a card from his pocket. “Here’s my number if you ever need to vent. I’ll be back to check on Chris from time to time.”
“Thank you.”
When they left the cafeteria, he welcomed the sudden drop in noise. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I mean it when I say call me.”
She nodded, turned, and walked down the hallway. When she reached the elevator, she glanced back. The quick smile she gave him lodged deep in his chest. There was no way Amber Delacroix could take anyone’s life. She was too pure and full of hope.
Chapter Three
Between visiting Chris, working her twelve-hour shifts, and barely sleeping, Amber’s body was beginning to give out. If her mind would just stop drifting to her brother’s worsening condition, she might be able to handle the fatigue better. She wasn’t even sure if she was giving her patients the care they deserved.
Twice, she’d been about to give a patient the wrong dosage, when at the last minute, she’d snapped out of her daze. At least she had the wherewithal to double check herself from then on. As a medical professional, she understood that if she didn’t rest, she’d have to tell Tammy she’d be using the remainder of her vacation days in the coming weeks, which meant she wouldn’t always be close by should Chris need her.
Amber usually stopped in to see her brother during her breaks, but too often he was asleep. When she was able to wake him, she suggested he try to move his fingers, but he kept shaking his head, asking why he should bother. He just wanted to die.
She might have to ask Stone to have another talk with Chris. Somehow, the man-to-man thing had seemed to work—at least temporarily. The therapist said Chris was depressed, but everyone Amber spoke with told her that was to be expected. She and the therapist both were trying to find things for him to do that would stimulate him and give him a reason to live. But nothing had worked so far.
On the fifth night after Chris’s accident, Jamie and Ben insisted they take her to dinner. Jamie had been Amber’s rock these last couple of days. Her friend always seemed to know all the right words to say.
After eating a big meal and enjoying herself for the first time since the incident, she went home and crashed. She actually slept. Amber figured it was because her body knew she didn’t have to work for the next three days.
When she awoke, she felt a little perkier until she called her mom.
“He’s not any better?” her mom asked.
“Not mentally. Not physically, either. He’s not exactly excited about physical therapy.” She inhaled. “It might help if you visited.”
“Has he asked for me?”
Amber didn’t know what her mother hoped her response would be, but she wouldn’t lie. “No, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come and be supportive.”
“I’m afraid if I walk into his room, Chris will become more agitated. I do want to see him, but not if it’s going to upset him more.”
Her mom had a point, but that wasn’t a good enough reason to stay away. “Don’t you want to see your son?”
Her hesitation said it all—no. “I’m afraid he’ll see the pain on my face and know it’s hopeless.”
Amber opened her mouth, but nothing came out for a moment. “You’re a doctor. You must lie all the time to patients to give them hope.”
“Amber! That’s a terrible thing to say. You know that’s not true.”
Amber wasn’t in the mood to get into an argument. “Be there for Chris just th
is once. Okay?” This time, she was the one to hang up. “Aargh.”
Sometimes she wondered why her mom bothered to have any more kids after Thomas.
Frustrated and pissed, Amber drove to the hospital to see him. This time, when he cracked open his eyes, he closed them again, probably not in the mood to listen to her badger him to move.
“Just leave,” he said. “I don’t need your cheery bullshit.”
Ouch. That pierced her heart. “You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. The physical therapist is coming this afternoon, and I want you to do what he tells you.”
“Like his stupid exercises are going to do any good? That shrink lady stopped in today and that was a joke, too.” He turned his head and firmed his lips.
“Dr. Donovan is a very competent psychologist. Zoey also happens to be a good friend of mine.”
“I know.”
Amber blew out a breath wishing he’d give Zoey a chance. “You do know you have to face this at some point? You’re not doing yourself any favors by refusing help.”
He didn’t say anything, but from the way he pressed hard on his lips, he wanted to.
As usual, she failed to have any effect on him, but she wasn’t ready to give up on her brother—nor would she ever.
As soon as she stepped outside the building, the bright sunshine seemed to mock her, and she wondered if she’d ever be truly happy again.
She inhaled the clean air as she headed to her car. When she stuck her hand into her purse for her car keys, she felt the card Stone had given her.
Stone. He might be the only one who could help Chris. She’d never met anyone who seemed so sincere, and as much as she prided herself on her strength, there were times when a person needed an unbiased opinion on whether she was pushing her brother too hard.
She unlocked her car door, slid onto the seat, and called him.
“Stone Benson.”
“Hi, Stone, this is Amber.” She figured since she’d seen him a couple of days ago, he’d remember her.
“Hey. So glad you called. I stopped by to see Chris yesterday, but he wasn’t in a good place.”
Relief washed over her. He’d understand. “By any chance are you free right now?”
“I get off at noon. Why? Has something happened to Chris?”
“No. I’m the one who needs to talk.” He’d said he was a good listener. While she never just called a guy and asked to meet with him, this was an exception. “Do you think you could meet me for lunch?”
“I’ll do one better.” He didn’t hesitate. “How about I pick up a few things and we can find some quiet spot for a picnic?”
He must be a mind reader. It was inevitable she’d break down, and it would be better if they were in a secluded area. “That sounds wonderful.” The idea of getting away from it all lifted her spirits.
“I can pick you up at your place or, if it’s more convenient, at the side entrance to the hospital.”
She weighed her options. “How about the hospital side entrance at 1:15 p.m.?” That would give both of them time to get ready.
“Great.”
“What can I bring?”
“Just yourself.”
It didn’t surprise her that he’d say that. “Perfect.” When she disconnected, a small weight lifted off her shoulders.
Amber wasn’t the type to take advantage of anyone, so she headed to the store to pick up some extra items, like strawberries for dessert and a few bottles of her favorite Arizona Tea. She had no idea what Stone liked to drink, but if he was off duty, maybe he’d enjoy a beer. She picked up a six-pack of the brand Chris drank and went home to change. This wasn’t a date, so how had a trickle of excitement snuck into her veins? Maybe it was relief.
Once at her house, she took two beer bottles from the carton and placed them on ice in a small cooler. The strawberries, along with her teas, she kept out.
It was rather silly of her to care what she looked like, but it would make her feel better if she put some effort into her appearance. She changed into matching underwear, her good shorts, a rather form-fitting top, and light hiking shoes in case he planned on eating somewhere truly remote. It was sunny and warm outside, but in case the sun dipped behind a cloud, she’d bring a pullover.
She only had a few minutes to brush on some blush, redo her lipstick, and drag liner over her eyes. When she checked her appearance, her mood elevated. Pain resided in her eyes, but to the casual onlooker, she might look fine.
Not wanting to be late, she grabbed her small backpack purse and cooler and headed out to the car. When she arrived at the hospital employee entrance ten minutes early, she parked, ducked inside and rushed up to Chris’s floor to check on him.
Yesterday, they’d moved him out of the ICU. Her friend Becky was at the desk.
“Amber!” She ran her gaze up and down her. “You look like you’re ready to go on a hot date.” Becky nodded to her cooler.
Yikes. She hadn’t even noticed she had it with her. Her mind definitely had gone to mush. She hoped her clothes didn’t suggest to Stone that she considered this a date. She didn’t want him to think she was using the need to talk with him as an excuse. For all she knew, he was in a committed relationship. “Nah. I’m going out to lunch with a friend. If the doctor needs me for something or Chris becomes agitated, text me, okay?”
“Will do.”
To make sure her brother was okay, she hurried down the hall and peeked her head in the room. When she saw he was asleep, she quietly closed the door. Satisfied she’d covered her bases, she strode back down the hallway. To avoid getting into a long conversation with Becky or having to wait for the elevator, she took the three flights of stairs down to the exit.
As soon as she stepped outside, she spotted Stone, leaning against his truck, looking wonderfully casual. Even in her frazzled state, she noticed that Stone Benson was one handsome man. His brown hair was short in back, but the front kind of flopped over his forehead, which drew her attention to his intense green eyes.
He looked up with a broad smile on his face. “You just visit Chris?”
Why her heart sped up at seeing Stone she didn’t know, but if he could take her mind off her reality even for a half hour, she’d be forever grateful. “Yes, but he was sleeping.”
He nodded to her cooler. “Whatcha got there?”
“I didn’t want to arrive empty-handed.”
He slipped the container from her hand.
When their fingers touched, it was as if an electric spark shot up her wrist. What was up with that? Her defenses must be kaput, and any stimulus affected her more than usual.
“You didn’t have to, but I’m sure I’ll be happy with what you brought. Ready?”
“Yup.” She liked how he put her at ease no matter what she said or did.
He pulled open the covered back of his truck bed where he had bins stored between sections of bungee cords and placed her cooler snuggly between the taut lines. He walked her to the passenger side and opened the door.
He waited until she was seated before shutting her in. Maybe she’d gone out with the wrong type of man in her life, but rarely had anyone acted like such a gentleman. Come to think of it, the last date she’d had was when she lived in Oklahoma City, and that man never did anything nice. God only knew, her ex-husband surely wasn’t the type to open a door for a woman.
Stone climbed in his side and smiled. She didn’t know why, but her heavy heart lightened knowing he’d help share her burden, if only for today.
“So where are we going?” She wasn’t even sure what to say to this nice man.
He glanced over at her. “Would it bother you if I said it was a surprise?”
She liked the idea. “No.”
He exited the parking lot and headed west. “How long did you say you’ve lived in Rock Hard?”
“A year.”
Stone nodded. “Have you explored Harmes River?”
She hadn’t taken the time to do much. Other than dinner with
friends, or having Jamie and Ben over on the weekends, she’d spent her evenings reading or brushing up on the latest oncology protocols. Of late, she’d worried about Chris. “Nope.”
“Then you’re in for a treat.” He looked over and smiled. “I hope.”
She hadn’t invited him on a date but rather wanted to discuss her brother’s mental and physical condition. “I know you’re not a doctor, but any guess on how long it’ll be before I can take Chris home?”
“That’s hard to say. His leg needs to heal first.”
She was about to say Chris hadn’t complained about any leg pain, but why would he? He had no sensation below his chest. “What’s your assessment of his leg injury?” The doctor hadn’t been specific, and Stone had seen her brother before the doctors had patched him up.
“While the abrasions only required a few sutures, I’m betting the doctors will monitor him for clots.”
“Good to know.” While Stone seemed to have endless patience, maybe now wasn’t the best time to drill him or ask him for more favors. “As much as I had planned on discussing Chris and his mounting depression, I think I’d like to discuss something else.” Anything that would take her mind off her troubles.
“Like what?”
She shrugged. “Let’s start with what brought you to Rock Hard.”
“I was born here.”
“Oh.” Crap. He chuckled and the sound rumbled through her chest and made her smile.
“You want the scoop on Stone Benson? Here it is. My mom is your basic housewife who’s the best cook in the world. My dad is the manager at USA Hardware. My mom wants him to retire, but I don’t think that will ever happen.” Stone turned onto Gold Avenue, which ran along the river. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “I also have a sister and a brother. I’m the oldest at thirty-one, my sister, Katie, is twenty-six, and Craig is twenty-four.”
“Do they live in Rock Hard?”
“Katie does. She had acute leukemia a few years back, but now she’s in remission. Boy, was I a basket case, trying to console her while she went through chemo. Funny thing, Katie ended up being the strong one.”