The Panty Whisperer: The Complete Series

by Sloane Howell

  "This is going to be fun." I bite one of my nails.

  "I know. We're so excited to hang out with you guys. Tommy won't shut up about it. Hopefully, we can keep the boys' attention. They tend to get distracted around each other."

  "They're pretty close, aren't they?" I look around the parking lot for them.

  "God yes. It's cute and annoying at the same time. Sometimes it's like babysitting a couple of grown toddlers. It keeps things fun though." She looks over at me. "Don't worry. You'll hear them when they get here."

  Fuck. The car. It's not going to help me resist him. At all.

  Stop thinking about it.

  I look over at Megan. "I hope Joel's the good guy Tommy says he is."

  "You like him a lot, don't you?" She grins.

  I tense at her question, but I don't see a way to get anything past her.

  "Yes. I want to give in so bad. I just know his type. Not his personality type, just the playboy type. You know what I mean? I'm babbling. Please tell me to shut up."

  "No, it's cute. I don't know a lot about what happened. Tommy talks a lot but it's hard to pry useful information out of him."

  "It was stupid. We were both stupid. I just—"

  That car.

  The roar of a familiar engine rumbles across the parking lot and interrupts me. The vibrations under my feet reset my brain into "fuck me now" mode. We both look up and there are the boys, pulling through the parking lot in the Mustang. My thighs squeeze together. I'd forgotten how beautiful she is. If it were a man I'd marry it right now.

  I look over at Megan and can tell her heart is racing too. I don't think many men besides Joel know what a car like that really does to us. We don't want to get into an expensive, fully loaded Lexus. No, it is gorgeous raw power that does it. For me anyway.

  "Good god." Megan's words come from under her breath.

  "That car is not going to help me have self-control tonight."

  She reaches over and grabs my arm. "Stay strong. I'm here for you."

  I laugh at her joking tone.

  "Thanks."

  "No problem. So—you think he'll take me for a ride in it?" She winks at me, and I push her shoulder playfully.

  "Better back off, bitch."

  She gasps.

  Tommy's window is down and I hear a voice yell, "Sexy bastard coming through! And a fucking beast car."

  We both giggle like school girls in a high school parking lot. Joel is revving the engine, knowing what it's doing to us. Prick. I catch a smile from the driver's side. I smile back, but it's not really for him. Well, maybe a little.

  They park, and Tommy gets out first. He immediately presses himself against the car and wraps his arms around the windshield. "Oh, I missed you so much, baby."

  "Hey!" hollers Megan.

  "Hey yourself, woman! She's my first love."

  Joel steps out of the car looking hot as hell in a pair of dark denim jeans and a tight, gray v-neck tee. He's always dressed perfectly. I can't help but notice that he's appearing leaner. I wonder if he's working out for me? I know it's presumptuous, but a girl can hope. His smile, and those eyes, and that hair—every one of them styled perfectly as his jawline flexes with his smile.

  Everyone's attention immediately turns to Tommy. He's still hugging the car. He starts to dry hump the side of it, and I'm about to lose it, trying not to snort when I laugh. Megan has her mouth covered and pretends she doesn't even know him.

  "Tommy!" Joel fakes a glare. "What'd I tell you about that?"

  Tommy jumps back from the car with his hands in the air and stares at Joel. "I'll tip her!" He fans his face off like he just went ten rounds with a porn star.

  "Nice, Rocco." Joel shakes his head.

  "She gets me all flustered." He turns to Megan. "I wasn't cheating I swear."

  My sides hurt, and we've been here all of 30 seconds.

  Megan is staring at him with her hands on her hips. Her foot is tapping the ground, but there's a smile on her face. "You're out of control."

  Joel walks over while the two lovebirds flirt with each other. A lump grows in my throat the closer he gets. Damn this beautiful man and his gorgeous car.

  "Hi." He looks at me and then gestures towards Tommy. "Sorry, I don't even try to compete with his sense of humor."

  "Yeah, he is one-of-a-kind."

  "That's the truth. You look great by the way. I mean absolutely beautiful. Just, you look wonder—Jesus, I'm shutting up now. Sorry."

  There he goes being awkward again. I like it. I relax a little, knowing he's not perfect. Nobody could live up to dating someone like that. Wait, are we dating? Are we hanging out as friends? My mind goes into a tailspin and needs to right itself. I fake a chuckle at Joel. Not to be mean, but to buy some time and compose myself. I'm still a little hot from seeing the car and I keep staring over at it.

  "Eyes up here. She's not a piece of meat."

  I genuinely laugh this time, and look over at her and smile. "Sorry, I meant no disrespect. I just missed you."

  "Everyone always misses the car." He sighs and gives me his best dejected look. I wrap my arm around his without even thinking about it and look up at him. "Aww, poor baby. I missed you too."

  What happened to slowing things down? Just being friends? It just feels right with him, and yet I know I'm heading down a road that ends with me getting hurt.

  "Thank you for taking pity on me." He bats his eyelashes, and I want to jump on top of him.

  My thighs tingle, and my heart thumps rapidly. I try to snap out of it when I realize I'm biting at my lip.

  Do not sleep with him, Quinn.

  God, I hope he has some will power, because I don't think I can hold out now that I've rid myself of Olivia.

  "You guys ready to watch me go all Bill Murray in this bitch?" Tommy stares at us.

  Joel releases my arm, and we start toward the entrance.

  "We don't have a cow. We have a bull," Joel hollers back at him.

  Echoes from their laughter ring out through the parking lot. Megan and I stare at each other, apparently unaware of the inside joke.

  "What the?" Tommy bugs his eyes out. "You haven't seen Kingpin? We have to culture these women, Herbert. I'm telling you, they need an education in proper cinema." It looks like he's karate chopping his palm in time with each word.

  "I concur," says Joel.

  We walk through a hallway back toward the lanes, weaving through a sea of kids running wild, parents chasing them, teenagers trying to look too cool to be there. The walls are painted like graffiti murals with bowling themes, and 80s rock is blasting over the speakers, making it difficult to hear each other. There's a faint sound of air hockey tables and an arcade that grows louder with every step. Suddenly, it comes into view, and lights are flashing with mostly boys beating on machines, completely engrossed in their own little worlds.

  Stale beer and pizza with a hint of cigarette smoke permeates my nose. It's not too overwhelming, but it's familiar, and reminds me of coming here when I was a kid. This should be fun.

  I glance around and see at least three boys standing in front of their mothers with big smiles, holding their hands out, asking for money to go play games at the arcade. I look up as Megan takes it all in. We both look forward at the same time, then look back at each other and die laughing.

  The two boys that came with us are standing in front of us with the same looks on their faces, only they don't have their hands out. We both know what's coming before they even ask. Joel lets Tommy do the talking.

  "So, umm, babe, do you think it would be okay if—"

  She sighs and looks at me. I can't stop thinking about how when put in a certain setting, men automatically return to their childhood. It's cute and keeps things fun as long as they can be serious when needed. I'd like to think Joel and Tommy are that way. They're both very smart and have professional jobs.

  "Go ahead boys. Do you need some quarters?" asks Megan.

  "How do you know what we want?" To
mmy cocks his head slightly to the side.

  She stares at him for a moment, and he concedes.

  "I promise we won't be long. Just one game. I swear."

  "Mmhmm." Megan draws out the sound.

  The boys run off before we change our minds, both cheesing. I was never much of a gamer, but I can tell Megan was. She looks as if she wants to join them.

  "You can go if you want."

  She chuckles. "It's okay, really. I've stolen quite a bit of their time together. Joel's been really cool about it. They can go play a couple of games together."

  We stroll to the front desk, pay for the lane, and grab some shoes. It's by far the most casual date I think I've ever been on in my life, if it's even a date. We set the shoes over by our lane, and Megan taps me on the shoulder, then motions for me to follow her.

  We peek around the corner and she breaks out a pretty impressive Australian accent. "Observe the males in their natural state with their young counterparts."

  I nearly choke on a laugh. Tommy and Joel are focused intensely on the game, other than the occasional pause to talk trash to one another. There are about 10 boys standing around—probably aged six to nine—locked on the game and pointing at the screen. Half seem to be rooting for Joel and half for Tommy.

  Suddenly, Tommy buries his face in his palms as Joel's arms fly toward the ceiling and he starts high fiving all the boys that are on "his team." They all begin taunting Tommy as he shakes his head. I get the feeling Joel doesn't beat him at video games very often, so this must be a special moment.

  "You cheated!" Tommy receives support from his own team of bystanders.

  "How dare you!" Joel stares down Tommy and bows his chest out.

  Megan and I can barely breathe. They have no idea we're watching. We lean back around the corner. It's obvious they're halfway joking. It'd be pretty sad if they were actually serious. At the same time, I always find it a little sexy when men act like boys. They know how to have fun, and guys I've known like that usually make awesome dads. It's an attractive quality.

  We walk back over to the lane and get everything set up on the screen. The boys finally show up.

  "Hey guys," I say. "Have fun?"

  Tommy frowns, and Joel beams with pride.

  "Oh, we had a blast. Didn't we Tommy boy?" Joel pats Tommy on the back.

  "Yeah. It was great." Tommy's words come through his teeth.

  "You don't look too happy, Tommy. Did he hit the power button on the Nintendo right when you were about to win the game?" I ask.

  Tommy looks as if he might explode, and Megan is grinning wide.

  "Oh what do you know about a Nintendo? You don't know the struggles, Quinn. You don't know what it's like to have the frozen block screen, blowing into the cartridge to get it to work, memorizing the code to Contra."

  Him and Joel look at each other and immediately start reciting it in unison.

  "Up, up, down, down, left, right—"

  "Boys!" Megan glares at them.

  "Sorry babe." Tommy shoves his hands in his pockets as they both stop immediately.

  When Megan turns away, they both finish the rest of it under their breath. Joel sits down next to me and smiles. "You guys want some beer? Something to eat?"

  "Pizza sounds good to me. Megan, you want something?" asks Tommy.

  "Yeah, pizza is good." She finishes typing a name on the screen.

  Joel nudges me with his elbow. "Wanna come with?"

  "Sure." I don't think it through before answering.

  I'm operating on autopilot right now, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I really need to think before I just agree to things. I keep telling myself to take it slow, but I want to live in the moment too. Trying to think back, I can't remember the last time I've been out and had fun. Tonight seems like it's going to be a good opportunity. I decide to just go with the flow, but I need to be straight with Joel before I can do that.

  We head toward the snack bar, and I pull him over to the side by a wall. I pull on his shirt harder than intended, and he runs into me. His chest pressed up against me sends a tingling sensation through my whole body.

  "Shit, I'm sorry." I take a step away.

  I expect him to make some kind of cocky comment, but he just smiles.

  "What's up?"

  "I want to let you know I just want to have some fun hanging out with everyone tonight. I don't want to have to constantly worry about taking things slow, or being cautious about whatever the hell is going on here." I waggle my finger back and forth between us.

  "Okay. That's fine." His smile disappears from his face, and his shoulders drop slightly.

  I'm not sure I got my point across very well.

  Say something, Quinn. You're crushing the guy.

  "What I meant was that I want to have fun with you. I just want to be careful too." Much better.

  "Okay, well I want to have fun with you too. I don't want you to regret hanging out with me—I mean us."

  I'm making him nervous again. It's totally throwing me off. He's still fucking hot, but he needs his confidence back, and I have something else I need to get out of my system.

  He turns to head back, and I spin him around by his arm, put my palms on his cheeks, and press my lips to his. His eyes widen for a brief moment, and then he reaches up with his hand and runs it through the back of my hair, sending a shudder down my spine. It's not a long kiss but it sure seems like one. I don't mind at all. I bite gently on his lower lip to tease him, before moving away and staring into those emerald-green eyes of his.

  "Was that you being cautious?" He laughs.

  "If you can do it so can I." I wink before spinning around and heading toward Tommy and Megan. I give Joel the familiar ass shake he saw the first night we met. Sometimes the hunter just needs to remember how to hunt. I'm still not entirely sure what just came over me or why I did that, but I'm glad I did it. I had to know what it's like to kiss him when I'm not angry or hurt. It does kind of shoot my whole "taking things slow" idea all to shit though.

  He catches up to me as we walk up. We grab our shoes and start to put them on.

  "Where's the fucking pizza and beer?" Tommy asks.

  Joel and I both freeze. It's like the kiss erased our memories.

  Tommy looks at me, then Joel, then back at me again. Wheels are spinning in his head. He taps on Megan's shoulder, still staring at us with a huge smile on his face.

  "What are you grinning about?" I ask.

  Megan turns and faces him.

  "They kissed again."

  I turn to Joel. "Seriously, how the fuck does he do that?"

  "I don't know, but you get used to it. He's a freak."

  "It's the Jedi way, and Herbert knows it. Now, we gonna bowl or what, ladies? Oh, and Quinn?"

  I drop my mouth open and gasp like I can't believe he just said that. Megan socks him in the gut, and he doubles over.

  "You're all going down, as soon as I can breathe again—and get the feeling back in my stomach. Woman punches like a freight train. Seriously though, you two hillbillies need to go get the pizza and beer. Don't come back with hickeys either."

  Joel stands up. "I'll go."

  He's only gone a few minutes and comes back with the beer. Tommy glares.

  "They have to cook it, fat boy. Damn. They're going to bring it out when it's ready."

  Tommy does his best to hold his stare without laughing. "Yeah." He nods. "They damn well better, Herbert!"

  Joel is slowly getting back to his old self. He's brushing up against me every time he gets the chance. I might be encouraging him. I'm trying not to giggle and flirt too much, but he makes it difficult. If I do end up dating him, I want to enjoy all the fun stuff in the beginning—getting to know one another, butterflies in the stomach, falling asleep on the phone, not wanting to be apart, ever.

  We're having a blast, and the night couldn't be going any better. We bowl a couple of games, and the usual hilarity ensues. I get the feeling Joel is doing the same thi
ng I am. He's pretending to be interested in the group but really just wants to focus on me. I'm glad we did it this way though. God knows what I would do to him if we were alone.

  We finally finish up our bowling and decide to call it a night. It's obvious that Tommy wants to go home with Megan, and I'm deathly afraid of leaving with Joel, especially in his car.

  Tommy looks at us. "Hey buddy, I think I'm gonna catch a ride and stay at Megan's place. You good?"

  "Sure, no worries."

  "Quinn, why don't you let Joel give you a ride?"

  Megan elbows him in the ribs. He's oblivious to his crime. While a savant when it comes to book smarts, he's sometimes hopeless when it comes to romantic intuition.

  "What the hell, man? Sorry. What'd I do?" He grabs at his side and arches his back.

  "Just hush." Megan growls at him.

  "Yeah, it's fine," says Joel. "I'm good. Just gonna head to the house."

  "It's okay. I can ride with Joel. If you want?" I stare at him.

  What in the flying fuck are you doing, Quinn? Bad idea. Every red flag and alarm bell is ringing in my head, but apparently I'm thinking with my body now.

  Joel tries to give me an out again. "You don't have to humor me. I'm a big boy. I have driven alone before."

  Ride with Megan and Tommy. Don't be stupid. Please don't be stupid.

  "Nah, it's okay. I'm going with Joel. You guys have fun."

  I can't believe I'm doing this. I need to zip tie my legs shut. They'll spread for this man if I don't do something.

  Tommy and Megan say bye. Concern fills Megan's stare and Tommy looks excited, knowing he's about to get laid. My entire body is numb. I keep biting at my fingernails and wiping my sweaty hands on my thighs. Without thinking, my hand goes down to his and our fingers interlock.

  He looks over and smiles.

  "Does this feel a little like junior high to you?" I grip his hand tighter.

  "No, not at all."

  I'm puzzled. Usually he plays back when I joke with him.

  "I haven't given you my ID bracelet yet."

  I giggle like a teenage girl again. I need an intervention. "Wow, I forgot all about those."

  "I gave mine to Tabitha Swanson in seventh grade, and I'm pretty sure that bitch lost it."

  "Oh yeah? Did you guys have a long and serious relationship?"