Fighting with Shadows

by Beryl Matthews

  He nodded and chewed on a piece of sausage. ‘She teaches, and I learn. Is that right?’

  ‘Yes, darling, that’s the right way round.’ It was amazing: he never seemed to mind being corrected. If you tried that with Emma, you would end up in a fierce argument.

  ‘What’s it like in Germany?’ Danny made a lightning change of subject.

  ‘It is in chaos at the moment, but in a few years it will be beautiful again. One day I will take you to see the rivers, forests, and we will visit grand concert halls and listen to the finest artists.’ A brief look of sadness crossed his face, but it was soon gone and he smiled at Danny. ‘You will see how lovely it is.’

  ‘Smashing. We’ll take Auntie Angel with us as well, won’t we?’

  ‘Of course, we would not go without her.’

  He nodded and cleared the last bit of mash from his plate. ‘Is it a long way? Could we go in an aeroplane?’

  ‘I expect so, but we shall have to see when the time comes.’

  ‘Okay.’ Danny looked at his empty plate and then at Angie. ‘Have we got afters, Auntie?’

  ‘Yes, there’s an apple pie.’ She stood up, cleared the empty plates away and took the pie out of the oven. It looked really appetizing. Her pastry had improved since she had been living here and doing more cooking. John had set aside a small field for fruit trees and the apples were lovely.

  Danny watched as she cut three slices, put them on plates and handed them round. He had his spoon ready. ‘This is a lovely day.’

  ‘It is,’ Dieter agreed, giving his son a gentle smile.

  ‘And it is not over yet. You have the rehearsals this afternoon for the Nativity Play.’

  ‘Can you come and watch?’

  ‘No, I’m sorry, Danny. I have to go back to the farm as soon as I have eaten this wonderful pie. But I shall look forward to seeing it later.’

  Danny gazed at his plate, and reluctantly decided he couldn’t manage another mouthful. ‘I’m full, Auntie. Can we keep that for my tea?’

  ‘Of course. I’ll put it in the larder for you.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He swivelled round to look at Dieter. ‘You really gonna let Emma sing?’

  ‘I promised.’ Dieter glanced at Angie and winked. ‘Have you heard her?’

  ‘Yeah.’ He scrunched up his face.

  ‘Is she any good?’

  ‘She’s loud.’

  Angie had to concentrate on her pie in an effort to remain quiet, when she was really bursting to giggle. Such a girlish thing to do, but she felt unusually lighthearted all of a sudden. Danny was discussing this so seriously with Dieter. It was good he had a man to talk to. For the first time since he had arrived, she was glad he was here. It hadn’t taken long for his quiet patience to drive out her shock. But though he gave the impression of being a gentle man, it would be a mistake to take that for weakness. Under that gentlemanly exterior was a strong and forceful personality.

  ‘In that case she should be able to make herself heard in the church. Perhaps we should ask her to sing at the Carol Concert?’

  Danny’s mouth dropped open.

  ‘I think that’s a lovely idea.’ Angie smiled broadly. ‘Sally and Joe would be so proud.’

  Dieter stood up. ‘I shall ask her. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to return to my work. Thank you for an excellent meal.’ He ruffled Danny’s hair, bowed to Angie and walked out.

  ‘Do you think he’ll get Em to sing?’ Danny looked very doubtful about that idea.

  ‘I really don’t know. What do you think?’

  ‘Nah, she won’t do it.’ Danny shook his head.

  ‘Oh, what a shame.’

  They both collapsed in a fit of the giggles.

  22

  A week before Christmas and Angie was nervous. The Nativity Play was at six tonight, and the last two weeks had been a mixture of hilarity, frustration and a certain belief that this was not going to work. But whether the children were ready or not – and Angie believed it was not – the play was being performed this evening.

  Sally and the Rector seemed unconcerned, but Angie had never been involved in anything like this before and really didn’t know what to expect. All the children were very young.

  There was a rap on the back door and Sally peered in. ‘Hi, Angie, can I scrounge a cup of tea?’

  ‘Of course.’ Angie put the kettle on. They had become good friends since moving here, and she loved Sally’s bubbly nature. You were always sure of a laugh when she was around.

  ‘Lovely, thanks, I’m gasping.’ She plonked herself in a chair. ‘I’ve come to ask if you’ll give a hand with the chairs this afternoon.’

  ‘Sure.’ Angie poured them both a cup of strong tea and joined her friend at the table. ‘It will give me something to do and take my mind off worrying about tonight.’

  ‘You don’t have to worry.’ Sally ladled two spoons of sugar into her tea. ‘All the parents are so proud to see their kids on stage that the odd disaster or two doesn’t matter. In fact it adds to the fun.’

  ‘Hope Emma and Danny don’t start arguing.’ Angie pulled a face. Rehearsals had been difficult, with Emma trying to tell Danny what to do – as well as anyone else she thought needed putting right. When Sally pointed out that the Rector was in charge and they all had to do as he said, Emma declared that she was only trying to help.

  ‘Once she has an audience in front of her, she’ll be as good as gold.’ Sally tipped her head to one side, listening. ‘Danny’s practising, I hear.’

  ‘He does his lessons faithfully and doesn’t seem to mind the discipline or time it takes to learn something. It never ceases to amaze me that a child so young can be that dedicated.’

  ‘Hmm, Dieter must have been like that.’ Sally spoke softly. ‘Are you going to tell him soon? They get on well together.’

  ‘Yes, they do. We’ve decided to tell Danny on Christmas Day, when we’re all at John and Hetty’s.’

  ‘Good, then we can talk about it openly. Everyone has guessed, Angie.’

  ‘That isn’t difficult when you see them together. They’re like two peas in a pod.’ Angie gave her friend a smile. ‘Where’s Emma? You haven’t left her alone, have you?’

  ‘No fear. She’s gone with Joe to do her Christmas shopping.’

  ‘Has Dieter managed to persuade her to sing at the Carol Concert?’

  ‘No, she’s flatly refused. I think he was quite disappointed, and so was Joe, but no amount of coaxing will make her change her mind.’

  ‘Ah, never mind. It’s going to be a good get-together tonight, isn’t it?’ she said wistfully. Angie gave a deep sigh as sadness crept into her thoughts. ‘We’re going to miss Jane dreadfully, but it will be a blessing to have so many friends around us. And Danny is being kept too busy to think about it at the moment. He’s bound to miss his mum, though, and so will I. Do you know, Sally, this will be the first Christmas we haven’t been together since Jane was born?’

  Sally gave Angie’s hand a sympathetic squeeze. ‘It’s hard, I know, but on Christmas Day Danny will find out that he has a father. That will be a great joy to him.’

  ‘I’m sure you’re right, but I can’t help being apprehensive.’

  ‘That’s only natural, so don’t upset yourself over it. I’m sure everything will be all right.’

  Angie brushed away the worry, sat up straight and smiled. ‘Of course it will.’

  Checking that everything was ready, Angie stepped back from the table. She had cheese sandwiches, bread, butter and a sponge cake with some of Hetty’s home-made plum jam as a filling. The sponge had risen nicely, and she was quite proud of it.

  She glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly three, so she called upstairs, where Danny was happily drawing in his bedroom. He seemed to like having short times on his own. John, Hetty and Dieter would be here in half an hour. She was helping Sally and the Rector get the children ready for the play, which meant that she would have to be at the hall by five. It would be a hec
tic hour before the curtain went up, and then they would see if all the hard work had paid off. No one appeared to believe it would be anything but a resounding success. A smile hovered on her lips when she remembered the chaos some of the rehearsals had been. But what did it matter? She had never had so much fun.

  There was a sound behind her, and she turned to find Danny had wandered into the kitchen. ‘Oh, there you are. I was just coming to get you.’

  He stood on tiptoe to look on the table. ‘What a lot of tea.’

  ‘Your granny, grandpa and Dieter are coming to tea, then they’re all coming to the play.’

  He nodded and yawned, making her laugh. There wasn’t any sign of nervousness about tonight. ‘Come on, let’s get you changed, ready for tonight.’

  They made it with only five minutes to spare. Danny had just gone into the front room to watch for them out of the window when he yelled, ‘They’re here!’

  Everyone enjoyed the tea Angie had prepared, and it didn’t seem any time at all before they had to go to the church hall. When Sally, Joe and Emma arrived, Angie considered the pile of washing-up and was waved away from the sink by Hetty.

  ‘I’ll see to this. You get off.’

  John pushed back his chair and stood up. ‘And us men will just have time for a beer to steady our nerves. You’ll join us, Joe?’

  ‘Good idea, thanks.’ He held his hands out, pretending to shake with fright.

  ‘Just a minute,’ Hetty called as they tried to disappear into the front room. ‘You’ll only have one each. I don’t want you turning up reeking of drink.’

  ‘Don’t worry.’ John winked at Angie. ‘We’ve only got time for one. The rest we’ll save for later.’

  ‘Come on, Mummy.’ Emma tugged at Sally impatiently. ‘We’ll be late. We’ve got to get dressed up an’ everything.’

  A quarter of an hour before the play would start. Angie and Sally joined the others in the main hall and collapsed on their seats. The place was already full, and there was an excited buzz of conversation and laughter. It was a nice dry, clear evening, and it looked as if everyone in the village had come.

  ‘Is everything ready?’ Dieter asked Angie.

  She mopped her brow. ‘As ready as it will ever be. The Rector’s in charge now.’

  The curtain opened, cutting off all further conversation, except for the ahs of the audience as they saw the little children in their costumes. Some were so fascinated by the audience that they forgot what they were supposed to do, and had to be prompted by the Rector until they took their right places. The audience loved it, and Angie was aware of Dieter shaking with quiet amusement beside her. The Rector was narrating the story, so fortunately there wasn’t a lot of dialogue. All went reasonably well until one of the Wise Men refused to part with his gift. Emma, clearly fed up with holding the doll, snapped, ‘Put it down!’

  He threw it at her feet and stormed off in a huff, only to be led back by the Rector. The little boy was clutching another parcel, with an expression on his face that said he was jolly well going to keep this one.

  The curtain came down to thunderous applause, and the children poured off the stage, making for their families to receive the expected praise.

  Emma and Danny went tearing past them towards someone at the back of the hall, their long robes flowing behind them.

  ‘Uncle Bob!’

  Both children threw themselves into the arms of Robert Strachan.

  ‘My word, what a welcome.’ He crouched down and scooped them up.

  ‘Did you see us?’ Emma had her arms around his neck.

  ‘I did, and you were both excellent.’

  Danny beamed at his praise. ‘Are you back for good now?’

  ‘No, I’m only here for a couple of days.’ He put the children down again.

  ‘Ow.’ Emma was disappointed. ‘We was gonna ask you to build us a see-saw.’

  ‘I’ll do that next time I’m on leave.’ Bob shook hands with John and Hetty, then bent his head and kissed Angie on the cheek. ‘You and Danny are looking well.’

  ‘So are you.’ Angie studied his uniform. ‘Promotion?’

  ‘Yes.’ He grinned as Danny gave him a smart salute, which he returned.

  ‘Are you a general now?’

  ‘I’m a lieutenant-colonel, and that’s one up on a major.’

  ‘I bet you’re gonna be a general one day.’ Danny gazed at his smart uniform in admiration, swinging on his hand and beaming with pleasure at seeing him. ‘Did you come in your big car?’

  ‘Of course.’

  As everyone crowded round Bob, Dieter watched with narrowed eyes. Danny appeared to be much too fond of Strachan, and the kiss Angie had been given troubled him. It looked as if there was more than friendship between them. If that was so, then it could be a problem. He didn’t begrudge Angie happiness, but army wives followed their husbands around the world, and that meant Danny would go as well. He couldn’t bear for that to happen. This obvious affection between Angie and the Colonel was deeply worrying. He had to find out just how serious their relationship was.

  ‘Dieter.’ Bob came over to him. ‘I’m sorry you didn’t find your sister, but I’m glad you came here after all.’

  They shook hands. ‘Congratulations on your promotion, Colonel.’

  Bob gave a brief nod in acknowledgement. ‘I must say you look a lot better than you did the last time I saw you.’

  ‘Good food and finding Danny has made all the difference.’ Dieter placed a possessive hand on his son’s shoulder.

  ‘Uncle Bob.’ Danny tipped his head back to look up.

  ‘Dieter can really play the piano, and the organ.’

  ‘Yes, I know. I’ve heard him. How are you getting on with your own lessons?’

  ‘Mrs Poulton says I’m doing good, but it’s gonna take a long time before I can play properly. I don’t mind, though, ’cos it’s fun.’

  ‘Children!’ Sally clapped her hands. ‘Let’s get you out of those costumes; then we can go home and have a party.’

  John rubbed his hands in anticipation. ‘You’ll join us, Bob?’

  ‘I’d love to.’

  Sally and Angie took the children backstage to get changed, which didn’t take more than five minutes. Then they all went back to Angie’s cottage.

  Miraculously, food appeared from the back of the truck, along with beer and even a bottle of whisky.

  ‘My goodness, Hetty, when did you do all this?’ Angie got out plates and glasses.

  ‘This morning. It didn’t take long, and I thought we’d all have a nice time after the play.’

  The small front room was packed, but no one appeared to mind. The men stood, the women sat and the children ran around from person to person.

  As soon as the opportunity presented itself, Dieter cornered the Colonel. He needed to talk to him.

  ‘I gather you haven’t told Danny yet.’ He handed Dieter a glass of beer.

  ‘No, we are going to do that at Christmas.’ Dieter couldn’t waste time. ‘Forgive me for being rude, Colonel, but I wish to know if there is something serious between you and Angie?’

  Bob’s eyebrows lifted. ‘I consider that an impertinent question.’

  Dieter bowed his head in apologetic agreement. ‘It is something I must know. I have just found a son I didn’t know I had and will not allow anyone to take him away from me.’

  ‘And you think I’d do that?’ Bob was clearly annoyed.

  ‘Damn it, man, I was the one who tried to make you come here. I wouldn’t separate a man from his child.’

  ‘You could not help it. If Angie became your wife, she would go everywhere with you. If that were to happen, I would lose my son. Do you know what that would do to me?’

  ‘Yes, it would be more than you could stand. But Angie will marry some day. If not me, then someone else.’

  ‘I know that well, but I want to be a part of my son’s life, to watch him grow into a man. I cannot do that if he is taken away.’


  Bob’s mouth straightened into a firm line at Dieter’s vehemence. ‘Perhaps you want her for yourself?’

  ‘She would never consider me as a husband. Oh, she is polite and outwardly friendly, but I see the shadows in her eyes when she looks at me. I am a German, and, although she denies that it matters, she does not easily forget that her parents were killed in the bombing.’

  ‘You misjudge her!’ Bob snapped. ‘She would act the same with anyone who was Danny’s father. Her reticence is merely her concern for the child. It has nothing to do with your nationality.’

  ‘I wish I could be that sure, but I can’t. So, I need to know, Colonel.’

  ‘Call me Bob, for heavens sake! I can’t answer your question. I had vowed never to marry again, but, if I do change my mind, it will be to someone like Angie. If it weren’t for you and Danny, I think I would consider marrying Angie now, but I’m not a fool. I know the situation is hellishly complicated.’ Bob gazed at Angie, who was on the other side of the room, then back at Dieter. ‘I can’t tell you what I’m going to do because I don’t know myself.’

  Dieter nodded. ‘Thank you for your candour, but it does not make me feel any easier.’

  ‘Dieter!’ Hetty called. ‘Play us some Glenn Miller tunes.’

  ‘Of course.’ He put his untouched beer down and sat at the piano. He could do no more at the moment. The Colonel obviously didn’t have any immediate plans, but the worry niggled at Dieter. It wasn’t just the thought of another man bringing up his son, though that was bad enough; it was the realization that he was jealous of the affection between Angie and the Colonel – he couldn’t call him Bob. He didn’t know why he was so jealous every time he saw them together. He kept telling himself it was because he was afraid of losing his son. He admired her, but he wasn’t in love with her. The idea was ridiculous.

  ‘“In the Mood”, Dieter,’ Sally called, pushing Joe into the middle of the room so they could jive.

  His hands swept over the keys, and he began to play the request, pushing his troubled thoughts away as the lively tune filled the room.